Distance Nightmare
by gosgirl
Summary: When Abby is kidnapped by the Phantom in LA, Gibbs' nightmare of losing her comes close to reality. Will this near miss push them to take the next step? Hinkys Awards 2012 winner Gabby Romance; 3rd place Abby characterization, original concept, crossover
1. Chapter 1: An Unfolding Nightmare

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

Title: Distance Nightmare  
>Author: Gosgirl<br>Rating: K  
>Pairing: AbbyGibbs  
>Category: Romance, angst, friendship, first time, post-episode, crossover<br>Spoilers: Random on Purpose NCIS LA  
>Disclaimer: NCIS and its characters are the property of DPB and CBS. If I had a silver-haired, blue-eyed Marine to play with, do you think I'd have time for writing?<p>

Summary: When Abby is kidnapped by the Phantom in LA, Gibbs' nightmare of losing her comes close to reality. Will this near miss push them both to take the next step?

Author's Note: This episode fascinated me as soon as I saw it. Gibbs and his team must have gone through hell as they were so far away while Abby was in danger. I'm tagging it mostly from their perspective, and how Abby's relationship with Gibbs changes as a result. Also want to address in later chapters how Abby copes with her ordeal, she was far too chipper in the episode afterwards for my liking! The episode timeline also didn't make much sense anyway, so bear with me if I've fiddled with the timeline and events a bit... it's all in a good cause! Some of the dialogue in later chapters will be taken directly from the episode.

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><p><strong>Chapter 1 – An Unfolding Nightmare <strong>

Not since losing Shannon and Kelly had Gibbs felt so helpless...

His gut, that infamous barometer of all things hinky, had been uneasy all week.

While DiNozzo may have been convinced that The Gut was supposedly infallible, Gibbs knew that whilst it didn't often let him down, he had been wrong in the past. This time when his gut radar went off while Abby was away in LA giving her forensic input to Callen's team, he'd put it down to simply missing her bright presence around the lab, to not being able to hear her voice and her laughter every day.

He'd missed her company but tried to tell himself that he was merely being selfish.

He didn't want to stand in the way of Abby's career, of her brilliant mind and he knew she'd be annoyed with him for being so over-protective. She'd laugh at this urge he always had to wrap her in cotton wool, wind his arms around her and not let her out of his sight.

If he was honest with himself, there was also a part of him that worried what impact Callen would have on her. His friend's charm with women was well known and Gibbs couldn't help wondering whether she'd find the agent attractive – Callen was nearer Abby's own age after all and had little of the baggage that Gibbs was carrying.

He could imagine all too well Callen's reaction to the arrival of such an emerald-eyed beauty with a sexy smile, and a fascinating mind to go along with an equally incredible body. His gut clenched at the thought that Abby might respond to any overtures from the handsome LA agent.

Gibbs knew he had no right to be jealous.

He'd wanted her for years but had not acted on that attraction. It was only in recent years that he realized that it was more than mere lust he felt towards Abby – that he'd fallen in love with his forensic scientist. That thought terrified him, making him hesitate in case he screwed up their friendship as well as any relationship they might try. While he suspected that Abby at least found him attractive, even if she didn't share the same depth and force of his feelings, he didn't know if she'd be willing to take the next step. He wouldn't blame her if she'd grown tired of waiting for him to make a move.

If he'd left it too late, it would be his own fault.

On a professional note, Abby was the best forensic scientist NCIS had... hell, the best any federal agency on the eastern seaboard could boast, and her talents and experience would be an asset to any case. If she'd found evidence of a serial killer that had so far slipped under the radar of every law enforcement agency in the country, then she was doing the right thing going to LA.

He remembered how hard she'd worked gathering evidence on what had started off as nothing more than a hunch…

She was 'following her gut,' as she'd told him one day with her usual cheeky grin.

She'd worked in between cases, and often on her own time, assembling a convincing argument for the existence of a killer she dubbed the Phantom. Gibbs was sure she didn't need his help, but he was touched nevertheless that she'd used him as a sounding board for her ideas and theories. He'd encouraged and supported her, pleased to see her take the lead on it…

Rule 38, her case, her lead.

He'd watched her as she paced the catwalk while waiting to see Vance, her shoulders squared and a determined look on her face. He'd never seen her look more confident and knew she was eager for this opportunity to convince the Director of her theory, and to use this latest case as an opportunity to go to LA to work 'live' on the case rather than retrospectively with evidence from other cases that were already months old. Only his knowledge of her body language enabled him to see the nervousness underlying it, her fingers fidgeting at her side giving her away to his eyes.

She'd looked down on him sitting at his desk as she walked towards the Director's office and returned his gaze with a smile, her eyes lighting up. She always seemed to know when his eyes were on her, wherever they happened to be.

He raised his hands and signed _Good luck_, causing her smile to widen as she inclined her head in acknowledgement of his unspoken support.

Gibbs knew she hadn't entirely persuaded Vance of the Phantom's existence but the Director at least had enough respect for her abilities to give credence to her theories. Combined with Abby's persistence, and Hetty backing her up once news of this latest victim came to light in LA, Vance had had no choice but to let her go.

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><p>She was fine… of course she was. There was nothing to worry about.<p>

He was just missing her. That's all it was.

She'd be back as soon as she could.

That's what he kept telling himself, even as his gut churned and unease rolled through him in waves that no amount of caffeine, bourbon and boat time could ease.

It wasn't helped by the fact that they'd had a slow week at the Navy Yard, with no new cases to occupy the mind, so the long days were spent working cold cases or catching up on paperwork, or intervening when the bickering between his three agents reached High School levels in their attempt to stave off boredom. But at least it meant that he didn't need to go and terrorize whoever the lab stand-in happened to be while Abby was away. He always hated visiting the lab when she wasn't there – it was an empty shell without her.

He'd spoken to Abby twice since she left at the beginning of the week. Once when she'd arrived to say she was safely at the hotel – she'd sounded amused, rolling her eyes at him and calling him a fusspot as she'd hugged him goodbye at the airport when he insisted she ring him to let him know she'd arrived.

Tonight he'd spoken to her as she was on her way out of the LA office, full of enthusiasm for the team there, mentioning Callen more than once. He chided himself that it was childish but Gibbs couldn't stop a stab of jealousy going through him when she spoke about his friend. She'd then cheerfully informed him that she was going out to a club that evening with Eric, the LA team's young tech operator, as they couldn't make any more progress on the case till morning.

He told himself to stop acting like a jealous boyfriend. He had no claim on her.

But just hearing her voice had cheered him up. That husky Southern drawl always had more of an effect on him than he cared to admit, the effect enhanced almost by rolling down a phone line directly into his ear.

As she outlined the progress they'd made in LA in such a short space of time, he wasn't surprised that she'd made such a difference. That's what she did – made connections on the flimsiest of forensic material, helped agents approach cases from different angles, and see evidence in a new light. He was proud of her that, not only had she convinced the LA team of the existence of the Phantom, but that it was down to her that they'd made such fast progress in identifying a workable lead.

Her reputation throughout NCIS was formidable and he knew what an impression she usually made once she got the bit between her teeth. Her grasp of the case and conviction in her theory would add up to a persuasive argument, and he was only sorry that he hadn't been there to see her present her findings to the LA team.

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><p>When the phone call from Vance came through in the early hours with news of Abby's kidnapping by someone they assumed to be the Phantom, he knew he should have trusted his gut, even as his blood froze and heart hammered in his chest.<p>

"Gibbs, I just got a call from Hetty," Vance's words jerking him to instant wakefulness after he'd grabbed his cell off the bedside table.

"What's happened to Abby?" was his first thought, instinct telling him that it would hardly be a social call at this hour.

"She's gone missing, Gibbs. She was at a club last night with Eric, went outside to the parking lot – I'm not sure why – and vanished. They think the Phantom took her."

"Why was she on her own?" disbelief mingling with anger in his voice.

"I don't know. Callen and his team are doing all they can to find her, Gibbs." Vance sounded annoyed but wasn't about to engage in a blame game with his senior agent. He'd deal with the LA team and their failure to protect NCIS's foremost forensic scientist in his own way.

"Not good enough, Leon," Gibbs was already out of bed and reaching for his clothes.

"There's nothing you can do from here, Gibbs. Leave it to the LA office," Vance was firm, even if he suspected it would fall on deaf ears.

"As they're the ones who put her in jeopardy, that doesn't fill me with confidence," came the harsh reply.

Vance sounded weary. "There was no indication that Abby was being targeted by the killer. When Callen and his team made the connection and realized that Abby could be in danger, they were only minutes behind him but by then it was too late. She'd already been abducted from the parking lot."

Worse was to come when Vance told him that the LA team believed that she'd been deliberately lured to LA; that the murder of Chief Petty Officer Frank McEllon was nothing but an elaborate bait to bring Abby within his reach. The forensic scientist now posed a danger to the previously invisible serial killer. He'd gone to considerable trouble to construct a complex trap to tempt her closer. He could have been watching her… stalking her for months, even if only virtually via cyberspace.

Vance tried to offer one crumb of comfort, conscious it didn't amount to much. "Nate did have one positive thing to say, for what it's worth. If the Phantom intended to kill her, she'd be dead in that parking lot already. Nate thinks he's taken her to gloat."

"Even if that's true, he's hardly going to let her go though, is he, Leon?" Gibbs was unable to keep the despair out of his voice but didn't care at that moment what he was revealing to his boss.

"No, it goes without saying that her life is in danger. There's no telling how long she's got."

"I'm not gonna to wait around here to see if Callen and his team can find her. I'm flying out there and taking my team with me." Gibbs was adamant.

"I had a feeling you'd say that." Vance's tone was resigned. "I had someone check and there are no tickets available on the first two commercial flights in the morning. The next flight with seats is not until midday."

"It could be too late by then. I'll find a plane – the FBI's got to be good for something." Gibbs' tone brooked no argument. "Their G5 flies out of Manassas airport. My team can meet me there. I'll take personal time if I have to, Leon, but I'm going."

"Yeah, I know, Gibbs." He heard Leon sigh. "I'll inform Hetty you're on your way and to keep you in the loop if there are any developments in the meantime."

Gibbs had had heard the displeasure in Vance's voice when he told him that he was going and was surprised that the Director didn't order him to stay in DC. If he had, Gibbs was fully prepared to disobey that order. He wondered if Vance suspected the lengths he would go to in order to get to LA, whether his boss had somehow sensed or worked out that Abby was his breaking point.

In truth, Vance had bowed to the inevitable. Whatever the relationship between NCIS's forensic scientist and his senior agent, something he wondered if they'd even worked out for themselves yet, he was adept by now at recognizing Gibbs' stubborn streak when it surfaced. Whatever he'd ordered him to do, Gibbs was going to LA, with or without the agency's help.

Word had spread like wildfire on the NCIS grapevine about Abby's abduction. If the Director was in any doubt over her place as the heart and soul of the agency, this removed it. He wouldn't have been surprised if the entire building had attempted to mutiny and tried to decamp to LA to help with the search.

Leon was also conscious of feeling a sense of responsibility for the night's events. He'd not been entirely convinced by Abby's arguments in the first place. Were it not for Hetty backing her up and insisting that the Director let her 'borrow' his forensic specialist to work on their case in LA, he might well have dismissed the trip as a waste of resources and insisted that Abby make her initial contribution to the case via MTAC.

Now that she'd been snatched, he was beginning to wish that he had.

As the true nature of the trap emerged, Vance felt guilty that he'd perhaps missed something in the evidence she'd presented to him, something he should have seen if he'd been more willing to believe Abby about this putative serial killer in the first place. He was also furious with Hetty's team for allowing Abby to be placed in a vulnerable enough position to be kidnapped so easily.

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><p>Gibbs had promised to keep her safe.<p>

_K__eep Abby out of danger… _

_Keep her from harm…_

Variations of that mantra were running through his head on an endless loop as he hurriedly dressed.

His gut's internal '_I told you so_' didn't help the fact that his worst nightmare was coming to life...

Abby was in jeopardy and he was too far away to help. In the past whenever her life had been threatened in any way, at least he'd been nearby. It hadn't lessened the danger she was in at the time but at least he'd been able to _do_ something. Inactivity didn't sit very well with him, even at the best of times.

There were terrible parallels to a tragedy that had almost destroyed him.

When Shannon and Kelly were killed, he was similarly thousands of miles away but then it had been too late anyway… they were already dead. This time, as far as he knew – and hoped – Abby was still alive. But the distance between DC and LA might as well have been the same as Iraq to the States… he was still too far away to be of immediate help. Abby was in peril and he was hours away. He found himself fighting back an almost a choking sense of dread at the thought he was going to be too late.

Calling his team and dealing with their initial reactions hadn't been easy, but their training soon kicked in when his tone of voice told them in no uncertain terms that they didn't have time to fall apart and that he needed them... _now._

McGee's stuttering disbelief and shock was the hardest to hear without letting his impatience get the better of him. He could hear the fear underlying Tony's voice even as his senior agent cut to the heart of the matter and anticipated their next move, as Gibbs knew he would. He was thankful for Ziva's expected reaction – understandable but contained anger mixed with her usual practical, direct approach.

The call to Ducky was possibly the hardest of all – the ME viewed Abby as the daughter he'd never had.

His "Bring her home safely, Jethro" as they ended the call almost didn't need voicing but he couldn't be annoyed at his friend for needing to vocalize his worry.

Ducky was also able to read the worry and strain in Gibbs' voice more clearly than anyone, and Gibbs was grateful to hear his friend's warm voice offering what little support he could. He was sure Ducky felt as helpless as he did.

His next call was made as he hurried to his car.

"Tobias, I need a favor…"

_TBC…_

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><p>AN: Okay, not exactly a cliffhanger given what we know happened, but I wanted to get something posted to get the ball rolling from Gibbs' perspective. Also more description and less dialogue than I normally prefer but wanted to set the scene a bit. I'm working on the next chapter, which is giving me some trouble but I shall get there!


	2. Chapter 2: A Waiting Game

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

Author's Note: Thanks for all the comments and alerts. Honeydust came up with a far better title for this which I wish I'd thought of in the first place! Long Distance Nightmare... I just wanted to continue for a bit longer with how the team cope and the build up before moving onto the events in episode itself in the next chapter or two. I'm just drawing out your suffering really... bad girl that I am ;)

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>** – A Waiting Game**

Fornell watched his friend wearing a groove in the floor as he paced the cabin of the G5, while they waited for the flight to be cleared for take-off. He'd seen his friend in many stressful situations before, but there was so much tension currently radiating off Gibbs that he wouldn't have been surprised to see him punch a hole in the nearest wall if anyone crossed him.

The G5 had been on its way in to DC from New York when Gibbs first called Fornell and they'd had to wait for the plane to arrive, be readied and the back-up flight team to arrive; delays which were doing nothing to help soothe Gibbs' temper or halt a sense of building frustration. Even if the plane took off shortly, flight time to LA was still just over four hours.

Abby could be dead by the time Gibbs and his team arrived.

Approaching Gibbs almost warily, Fornell told him. "We've clearance for take-off in two hours, Jethro."

"Not soon enough, Tobias." Gibbs ran a hand through his hair and resumed his pacing.

"It's the best they can do. Not even the FBI can clear DC airspace."

"It could be too late by then," Gibbs sounded as anguished as Fornell had ever heard him.

"I know, Jethro, I know."

McGee had arrived a short time ago, the strain of the news of Abby's disappearance written on every line of the young agent's face.

After Callen rang through with an update on the lead they'd found at the lawyers' office, Gibbs had taken the phone off speaker so he could rip the LA agent a new one in private.

"You wanna tell me what happened, Callen?" he began.

Callen sighed, briefly closing his eyes, not surprised by Gibbs' reaction. He'd been waiting for the explosion as soon as they learned Abby was missing. "If you've heard from Vance, then you know as much as we do at the moment, Gibbs."

"Then I'll rephrase that. How the hell did it happen?" The anger in Gibbs' voice plain.

"Look, we never saw it coming. There was nothing in the evidence to suggest Abby was a target."

"Even if that's true, what the hell were you thinking letting her go to that club with only Eric to protect her," he demanded.

"She was off duty, Gibbs, and so was Eric. Do you think I'd have left Abby alone if I believed she was at risk in any way?" Callen hated sounding so defensive but felt moved to defend his team.

"That's no excuse and you know it. You… he made a Probie mistake. Why did he leave her alone?" Gibbs almost growled.

"We didn't know she was in danger," Callen repeated. "Look, I get it, Gibbs, I really do. Do you think by shouting at me you can make me feeling any guiltier than I do already?" Callen took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "We're working on it, Gibbs. We'll get her back."

"I hope you're right Callen, or I'll have your ass and Eric's before I'm done."

Callen listened to the cold anger in Gibbs' voice and couldn't help but agree with him, "Yeah, I know, Gibbs, I know. Now let me get on and do my job. This isn't helping Abby… or you."

Gibbs closed the connection, too angry to continue… but the rational part of his brain knowing that Callen was right. He rested his hand against the wall, back to McGee and Fornell, trying to calm down. Going round in circles over who was to blame wasn't helping, despite his need to vent his anger in any direction.

Finally getting his breathing under control, Gibbs approached McGee, knowing it would also help Tim if had something constructive to do. "Can you set up a line with the LA office? I want to be linked in to what's going on with Callen and Sam in the field. Don't want to hear any news secondhand."

"Sure thing, boss. I'll get right on it," turning to his laptop with a sense of relief to be doing something useful.

Fornell approached. "You'll need my log-in details to access the communications network on the plane, won't you?" He couldn't resist adding, a small smile breaking out, "Or perhaps you won't, McGee?" McGee had the grace to look sheepish at this reference to the times he'd hacked into the FBI's network.

They were all distracted by the arrival of the remaining two team members. Even if the screech of tires hadn't announced Ziva's arrival, the bickering audible long before they walked up the steps of the plane would have clued them in to the presence of Tony and Ziva.

"You should be used to my driving by now, Tony," she sounded exasperated as she nodded a greeting to Fornell, dumping her backpack on the floor.

"Yeah, I should be, Zee-vah," said Tony, following her into the cabin, "and perhaps it was slightly less terrifying than normal. Wonder why? Maybe it's because there's less traffic around in the middle of the night, or perhaps after a while your body goes from a state of sheer terror to being merely numb… a sort of sense of self preservation kicks in."

McGee knew that their usual arguments were their way of coping with the stressful situation, and he wasn't surprised to find an echo of the same strain on Tony's face that he was sure was all too visible on his. Only Ziva looked calm and collected but he knew that she was merely better at hiding it or channeling her anger and worry into something more practical, saving her energy for when she could take direct action.

Glancing at Gibbs and Tobias talking quietly together further down the cabin, Tony asked, "Probie, there any more news of Abby?"

McGee shook his head, "No, Tony, nothing new on Abby's whereabouts. The LA office do have a new lead though." He explained Callen's latest call.

Ziva asked, "Do we know any more details of how she disappeared last night?"

McGee sighed, elaborating on what little they did know. "Only that she was with Eric at SteamPunk, you remember that club she said she wanted to visit? While they were there, Abby wanted to see the hot rods, you know what she's like with fast cars? She went outside to the parking lot… on her own."

"And Eric let her?" exploded Tony, running a hand through his hair.

Ziva sought to try and calm her partner, "Abby is perfectly capable of taking care of herself, Tony."

Tony couldn't help a sarcastic comeback, even though he knew it was unfair to take his anger out on his teammates. "Well, obviously not in this case, Ziva. Why were the LA team not protecting her?"

"Maybe they did not realize that she was at risk?" Ziva speculated.

McGee nodded, "No, from what I hear, I don't think they did. No one knew she was a target, Tony."

He glanced nervously down the cabin before lowering his voice, not wanting Gibbs to overhear what he was going to say next.

"Besides, Tony, when did Abby ever let anyone tell her what to do? The Boss excepted, of course, and she won't listen to him all the time, you know that. You know how independent and stubborn she is. I doubt Eric could have stopped her if she'd wanted to go outside."

Tony refused to be placated. "Stop making excuses for him, McGee. What man leaves a woman to go out to the darkened parking lot of a club on her own in a place she's never been to before?" He'd always thought of Abby as the younger sister he never had. As far as he was concerned, she was family and he was almost as protective of her as Gibbs was.

Ziva sounded exasperated. "She is not a child, Tony. You and Gibbs," glancing behind her to see if the man in question was within earshot, lowering her voice, "cannot wrap her in cotton wool all the time and prevent her from going out… however much you would both like to protect her from everything."

"I know, Ziva, I know. It's just… it's not a pleasant feeling, knowing she's so far away and we're hours away." Tony slumped into one of the seats. "I'm not used to feeling so helpless, you know."

"Yes, I know, Tony." Ziva squeezed his shoulder in an attempt to offer some comfort, knowing it wasn't going to make much difference.

Time dragged slowly – none of them were at their best when they were forced to wait on the sidelines. All they could do was listen to the audio feeds coming in from Callen, Kensi and Sam in the field while they waited to take off. Only Ziva remained calm, leaning against the wall, quietly watching McGee fidget with his laptop and Tony pace. He hated inactivity as much as his boss.

Ziva nodded at Gibbs as he sat by her, seeing the tension in his body in the way he held himself. He was grateful, as always, for her composure in a crisis, her poise helping to settle him, allowing him to focus.

When news came through that a live feed had been discovered showing where Abby was being held, McGee liaised with Eric to bring up the feed being piped through.

The news initially filled Gibbs with relief that at least Abby was still alive. This was quickly followed by a gut churning anger and dread when he saw her. He felt his spine stiffening as he tried to reign in his visible reactions, calling on all his training and self-discipline to hide what he was feeling. He had to be strong for his team. He had to hold them together. They didn't need him to fall apart.

Hearing Tony's exclamation of "Jeez" next to him as he surged to his feet, he saw McGee freeze when Abby's image came on the screen.

_TBC…_

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><p>AN: Okay, again not a cliffhanger for those who have seen it, but I realized that some people hadn't and didn't know what had happened. So I decided to be a bit evil… and spin this out a bit. Perhaps I should have been 'phoofing' these endings? ;)


	3. Chapter 3: Escalating Tension

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: A lot of this dialogue is lifted from the episode... not always attributed to the characters who originally spoke it... I've been fiddling again ;) And I'm still being mean to you... even though you've all been lovely with your comments. Cookies to all to compensate.

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><p><strong>Chapter 3 – <strong>**Escalating Tension**

Abby was sitting in an upright chair in front of what looked horribly like a double bed. A table behind her held a bottle and two wine glasses and the whole room was ominously surrounded by plastic sheeting, or at least covering the three sides of the space that they could see. The camera angle indicated it was positioned high up, above the head of the bed.

Her captor, who they assumed to be the Phantom, was standing with his back to the camera, facing Abby.

Gibbs curled his hand over his young agent's shoulder as McGee stared at the screen, unable to tear his eyes away, not sure if he was attempting to reassure McGee or trying to ground himself as he felt his stomach churn at the sight. He sensed Ziva move up to stand on Tony's far side, as she wordlessly supported her partner.

Fornell looked from the screen to Gibbs and back again, concern for the tremendous strain on his friend warring with his relief that Abby was still alive. The FBI agent was equally horrified to see his young friend in such obvious peril.

"Can you get sound on this thing too, McGee?" Gibbs' voice sounded hoarse as he tried to focus. When he didn't respond immediately, Gibbs squeezed McGee's shoulder again to break him out of his daze.

"Sorry… yeah, on it, boss. It'll only take a moment to set up." He glanced at his boss, a flash of understanding passing between the two men that neither wanted to examine too closely for the moment. Tearing his eyes away from the large screen and the sight of his former lover, McGee got to work.

Tony watched his boss and friend retreat behind a familiar icy exterior. He wasn't fooled for a moment by this mask, the image Gibbs usually projected in a crisis. They'd been grateful for that calm control in the past and Tony suspected they'd all need it even more before the day was out.

They all knew by now that the less emotion Gibbs showed, the more he was actually feeling. Given the unreadable expression on his face right now, his emotions had to be in turmoil.

The Marine felt far too much but was just better at hiding it than most.

Tony suspected that Gibbs _especially_ felt too much when it came to their forensic scientist. He knew of Abby's strong feelings for Gibbs as she'd shared them with her 'big brother' in the past, but up till now he could only speculate on whether his boss reciprocated those feelings.

This was not the way in which he'd have wished to find out. Tony cared for them both and would have done anything to spare either of them pain.

Judging by his boss's reactions tonight, if they lost Abby, they could very well lose Gibbs as well.

Seemingly unaware of Tony's thoughtful look, Gibbs stared intensely at Abby, moving closer to the screen.

It was hard to see her in detail. She at least _looked_ uninjured, but he'd never seen her sitting so _still_ before. She was usually a bundle of energy, unable to keep motionless for very long. Even her hands weren't moving… which was almost unheard of. He couldn't think of a time when her hands weren't in graceful motion, gesturing, signing, fidgeting… or gesticulating in some way.

He sensed Ziva beside him and wasn't surprised when she voiced the thoughts running through his head. "Why is she not moving, Gibbs? It is hard to tell from this angle but it does not look as if he holding a weapon on her. So why is she sitting so still?"

Tony joined them, sounding puzzled. "Ziva's right, boss. She's not struggling or moving at all."

Fornell commented, pointing at the screen, "But she doesn't look tied up… at least her arms and hands don't appear to be tied."

Gibbs agreed, it didn't look as if her arms were bound to the chair. "Is there something else holding her there?"

Ziva moved closer to the screen, looking thoughtful. "There seems to be something around her waist, holding her against the back of the chair perhaps?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't explain why her head and arms look so… still," protested Tony.

"Perhaps she can't move them," commented Gibbs quietly, running through the possibilities in his mind as to why Abby couldn't move, none of them positive.

"You mean the bastard drugged her in some way, boss?" None of them had heard McGee's voice carry so much venom before.

Ever practical, Ziva said, "It would make sense, given that he was able to abduct her so easily from the parking lot. If he drugged her, it would make it easier to move her and subsequently restrain her now." Ziva hesitated before finishing her thought quietly, knowing none of them would like hearing it, "She would not be able to fight back… then or now."

What worried Gibbs more was the bed he could see at the foot of the screen. Together with the screen of plastic sheeting all round the visible space, it added up to a chilling picture.

Turning from the screen, he met Fornell's worried gaze as he moved up to stand beside him. "Looks like some kind of warehouse, Jethro. I don't like the look of that sheeting."

"Or the bed, Tobias," his throat closing over at the obvious implication. Gibbs swept his eyes over DiNozzo who seemed frozen to the image on the screen, anger rolling off him. Ziva stood quietly by her partner, her normally warm brown eyes dark with an icy fury as she took in the sight of her friend.

Even if Gibbs hadn't been intending to tear this Phantom limb from limb with his bare hands, from the look on Ziva's face she was planning to take the serial killer apart slice by slice.

McGee's voice broke into their reverie. "We've also got sound, boss, from the live feed. We should be able to hear what's being said in that room, as well as communicate with both the LA office and Callen and Sam in the field."

Gibbs listened as Eric directed the LA agents to the neighboring building to continue the search. Dread settled in his stomach as they found the owner, Mike Smith, dead and no sign of Abby, confirming Callen and Sam were in the wrong place. As the search expanded to include other sites owned by the lawyer, his gut screamed at him that they were going to be too late.

As the Phantom began moving towards her, they could see Abby glance up at the camera, although she still couldn't seem to move her head very freely.

"What's the bed for?" Gibbs could hear the fear in Abby's voice as he heard it for the first time as she tried to keep the killer engaged in conversation. Her voice sounded much quieter than normal and seemed slightly slurred, as if she was fighting off the effects of drugs.

The Phantom responded, raising his glass. "To you, who empower me."

Eric exclaimed, "Wait, he's toasting her. I thought he was gonna gloat. What's with the wine and the bed?"

Fornell glanced at Gibbs, "Is the kid really asking that? Jeez, I'd have thought it was obvious."

Hetty put in, "Men love women who appreciate them, and she alone has appreciated him."

Gibbs and Fornell exchanged worried glances, hearing their own fears being voiced aloud.

"He's going to… " Tony could barely bring himself to say the word, "rape her, isn't he, boss?"

Fornell turned, "It doesn't look like she can try and fight him off either… not if she can't move."

Ziva offered quietly, "Even if she could move, he has killed 14 people, Fornell. I doubt she could overpower him."

Gibbs looked at her, not liking that she was right. "I know, Ziva."

Fornell muttered, "Yeah, you might be able to, Ziva, but not Abby. She's not a trained agent."

Nate's voice brought their attention back to the audio feed, "I don't buy it. He's too smart. He knows she's his downfall. He knows that she won't come around. At best he's playing with her."

"Playing, like chess?" asked Eric.

Nate sounded grim as he replied. "More like a bear with a salmon."

Gibbs found himself gripping the back of McGee's chair, fists clenching and unclenching in an attempt to control himself as they calmly discussed Abby's plight, _his_ Abby.

Abby's voice drew his eyes back to the screen, "You must have been good at math." He noticed her right arm had slipped down the side of the chair. Perhaps she was regaining some movement?

The Phantom sounded smug… boastful. "Good at everything. So, Tampa?"

"That was your first?"

_That's it, keep him talking__, Abbs._

Her captor shook his head, perching on the edge of the bed. "My fifth."

"So, what four did I miss?" He could tell Abby was trying to keep her voice neutral, whatever she might be feeling inside and even in the midst of his fear, Gibbs felt proud of the way she was handling the situation.

The Phantom could have been discussing the weather, his tone was almost conversational. "Well, they were before the suit. My first was in Chico. My first human, I mean. Animals, whew…. "

Gibbs could see her react, her green eyes widening as her breathing became faster, a shudder running through her frame.

_Steady, Abb__s, don't let him provoke you._

"Before that there were dozens of animals," the Phantom continued, smiling at some internal memory. "That's how I knew I was built for this, really… I just couldn't stop killing. It was such intense pleasure."

"It's not fun. It's awful. And you are awful." Abby's voice became stronger as her outrage and disgust gave it strength. "Every person and animal that you killed had a life, and people that loved them and deserved them alive. I'm not on your side. I've never been on your side, and I will never be on your side."

"I know." His quiet certainty as he got off the bed chilled those who were listening. "But it was fun to pretend. Do you want to pretend? Buy yourself another night of life? After all, you'll be able to move soon."

Gibbs felt his heart almost stop and fought to suppress something akin to panic as the Phantom patted the bed and spoke of Abby 'buying' another night of life… none of them in any doubt as to what that meant.

He could see the fear and despair pass over Abby's face before she tried to hide her reaction from her captor, and felt such a burning hatred for the man who would threaten her with every woman's worst nightmare.

Could this get any worse?

Could they all stand there… could _he_ really stand here and watch Abby being raped in front of them all, while they stood by, helpless to stop it?

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><p>AN: Oh dear, another cliffhanger… oops, sorry about that *ducks flying objects*


	4. Chapter 4: In the Nick of Time

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: A shorter chapter this time and I've nearly finished torturing you… honest I have!

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><p><strong>Chapter 4 – In the Nick of Time<strong>

_Could they all stand there… could he really stand here and watch Abby being raped in front of them all, while they stood by, helpless to stop it? _

Gibbs felt Fornell's hand grip his shoulder tightly, wordlessly trying to convey his support, knowing Tobias felt as helpless as he did as they stared at the screen.

He heard Ziva's own indrawn hiss of breath and glanced across at her, taking a moment to worry about the reminders of Somalia this would invoke. She'd never discussed in detail what had happened to her at the hands of Saleem and his men, but he wasn't naïve enough to assume she'd made it through the months in captivity without being violated. As tough as she was, Gibbs wished he could have spared Ziva this inevitable stirring up of unpleasant memories as she faced the sight of her friend in danger.

Ziva met his gaze briefly, acknowledging his concern. "They must get to her in time, Gibbs," her simple statement conveying far more than the words themselves.

They both turned back to the screen in time to see Abby spit at the Phantom in response to his comments about buying another night of life, followed by her quiet comment, "Look at that."

"Yeah, and look at this," came the rejoinder from the killer as he drew an axe out from underneath the pillow.

What was Gibbs thinking? That it couldn't get any worse?

_Oh yeah, it could get a lot worse._

Dragging his eyes away from the axe, Gibbs' attention was drawn to the fingers of Abby's right hand which were beginning to twitch. Presumably whatever the bastard had drugged her with was starting to wear off. Suddenly caught by the familiarity of what he's seeing, it nevertheless takes him a few seconds to make the connection.

When it dawns on him, he leans forward to shout into the phone, "Zoom in on her right hand, Eric. She's signing."

Eric's reply is quick, "Yeah, I see it, Gibbs." The picture zooms in to lose the main picture but concentrates on Abby's hand which is starting to form more recognizable signs. "I can't make it out clearly, her spelling is sluggish."

"Well, it would be if she's still drugged," Tony broke in impatiently.

"You read sign, Eric?" asks Nate, curious about a new facet of the young agent.

"Since I was seven," replied Eric, quietly, trying to concentrate on what he was seeing.

Finally having something positive to concentrate on, Gibbs elaborated, "She's finger spelling."

More familiar with the style of Abby's signing than Eric, Gibbs is the first to make out what she's signing, "Noise… something."

Eric sounds frustrated. "I can't read. It's like when someone's mumbling. Her fingers are slurred."

Wishing Eric would shut up so he could concentrate, Gibbs's eyes narrowed as he strained to make out the individual letters.

"Construction…? " queried Eric.

The signs suddenly clicked in Gibbs' mind, "Construction noise."

"Then start looking for construction sites," interjected Hetty, urgently.

Calling up the map on screen, Eric directs Callen and Sam, as he zooms the picture back out again so they can also keep an eye on where the Phantom is, or more importantly, what he's doing with that axe. "Callen, there's a warehouse on the corner of 6th and Ardmore owned by Smith, construction down the block."

They heard Callen confirm, "On our way," as they saw the Phantom sit back down on the bed, hand still on the axe.

"The truth is, you're just not smart enough for me, Abby." Unable to keep the gloating note out of his voice, he continued, "Because you're there and I'm here. And now the great forensic specialist dies without any evidence of her killer. And it will be fun for me, Abby."

Gibbs tried to ignore the twisting in his gut as he half listened to the Phantom's threats, concentrating on Abby's continued finger spelling.

"I've almost got the second half of the message. Noise…" mused Eric.

Gibbs cut in, irritation evident in his voice, "Doors is the next word."

Eric sounded puzzled, "Doors? Noise… doors."

They could hear Sam and Callen discussing how to get into the warehouse door when Eric suddenly shouted, "Guys, stop."

At the same time they heard Sam caution, "Wire."

As it dawned on Gibbs what Abby was signing, he was terse, "Booby… trapped." He leaned forward to add urgency to his shout, "Callen, the doors are booby-trapped."

Still sounding calm, despite the pressure he must be feeling, Callen asked, "So how are we getting in, Eric?"

There was a pause before Eric came back with, "Okay, skylight fire escape north side."

McGee's urgent, "Boss" drew their attention back to the screen where the Phantom could be seen getting up off the bed.

"I'll leave, trip the door fuse remotely, place will go kaboom and the Phantom remains traceless," he boasted.

Abby's tone was defiant, almost derisory, "You're not traceless." Gibbs exchanged a look with DiNozzo as he marveled at how in control she seemed

The Phantom picked up the axe, hefting its weight in his hands, replying almost scornfully, "Oh, come on, Abby. You know butane burns hot enough to destroy evidence."

"You have my teeth marks in your fingers… Creep."

Tony burst out with, "Teeth marks? When did she bite him?"

Ziva's voice was quiet, "Or rather, what did he do to provoke Abby into biting him?" Trying not to let his imagination fill in the blanks associated with that statement, Gibbs looked back at the screen as they heard Callen and Sam arrive at the skylight, discussing how to get down into the room.

_For God's sake, Callen, just do it… just get down there._

He watched in horror, dread lodging in his stomach as Abby's final goading pushed the Phantom too far.

He heard Tony's muttered "They're going to be too late" as the Phantom began moving towards Abby, "I saved the white woman in her late twenties for you. You should be honored," taking an experimental swing with the axe.

Fornell hated the look of despair in Abby's eyes as she saw the killer approach, perhaps realizing she'd gone too far.

Gibbs couldn't tear his eyes away from Abby's pale face as she closed her eyes, an almost resigned expression settling over her features. He could see her trying to strain every sinew, trying to get immobile muscles to work. Eyes drawn to her right hand which was frantically signing again, he saw her form a familiar _I love you_ even as he heard her cry out, "Gibbs."

The temptation to close his own eyes so he wouldn't see her die right in front of him was so great that Gibbs almost succumbed to it. But he forced his eyes to stay open as the Phantom pulled back the axe to complete the swing, aiming towards the left side of Abby's neck.

They were all going to be too late.

_TBC_

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><p>AN: Oops sorry, where did another cliffhanger come from? … promise I'm getting to the more interesting character and relationship stuff next... before you all kill me!


	5. Chapter 5: Release of Tension

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: I couldn't believe they would wait till after Abby had regained her mobility before mentioning a medical check-up – surely she should have gone to hospital straight away? And I can't see her waiting till she gets to the office to speak to Gibbs. So I've been fiddling with events… again.

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><p><strong>Chapter <strong>**5 – Release of Tension**

_The Phantom pulled back the axe to complete the swing, aiming towards the left side of Abby's neck. _

_They were all going to be too late. _

Instinct propelled him forward a few steps as the scene unfolded in front of him, even though there was nothing he could do. Gibbs was grateful for Fornell's hand gripping his shoulder, both riveted to the screen.

McGee surged to his feet, an anguished cry of "Abby" torn from his lips.

They could hear Eric frantically shouting, "Guys, gotta go now!"

The next few seconds were a blur of motion; from the sound of crashing coming from the skylight, glass showering down onto Abby, to the sudden arrival of Callen dropping into view behind Abby's chair, gun drawn.

The sound of gunshots filled the air and they saw the Phantom falling, the axe clattering to the ground, missing Abby by inches. Her eyes flew open and her breathing changed to panicky gasping as chaos erupted around her, before she registered the change from staring imminent death in the face to the killer sprawled on the floor in front of her, dead.

Frozen to the spot, unable to comprehend at first that Abby was safe and that Callen had arrived in the nick of time, Gibbs vaguely registered Tony cursing loudly, as much with relief as a way to release the tension. He unclenched his hands from the back of the chair in front of him, hands rigid and stiff from the tension.

McGee had slumped back into his chair, head in his hands and Fornell turned away, hands running through his hair as tension drained out of all of them. In the background, they could hear the relieved comments coming from the LA team.

Gibbs felt Ziva's hand on his arm and turned to see her concerned face. "Are you okay, Gibbs?"

He nodded, unable to speak for the moment.

Gibbs turned back to the screen to see Callen untangle himself from…. was that a rope or a fire hose? He saw his friend approach the Phantom, gun still drawn. They watched as he kicked the killer's leg and when there was no response, Callen holstered his gun before turning to Abby, who still sat immobile, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath.

Callen leant down level with Abby's face to meet her green gaze, his hand on the back of her chair. The audio feed was still functioning and they heard him ask, gently, "You okay?"

Abby's voice sounded small and almost uncertain for the first time, "Yeah. Thank you G. Callen.

Callen patted her hand. "You're welcome Abby Scuito."

The team watched as he moved closer, examining her arms and shoulders, brushing off slivers of glass. Shaking out a handkerchief from his pocket, Callen pressed it against her neck and cheek, wiping away what looked like blood before pressing it more firmly against her forearm.

Tony voiced what they could all see, "Flying glass must have cut her."

Abby's voice broke in, urgently asking, "Callen, I need to speak to Gibbs. I need to tell him I'm okay. He'll be worrying. Can you ring him… please Callen, I can't wait."

Flipping open his phone, Gibbs had started dialing before Abby even finished speaking and on screen, they saw Callen grab for his phone. Looking up at the camera with a rueful glance, he leaned down again to show Abby the caller display.

"Wow, I see his ESP's working okay."

Callen shook his head, "He's been watching the video feed, Abby."

Abby closed her eyes briefly as she absorbed that news, "Oh."

"Gibbs and his team were on their way here but their plane hasn't left DC yet," Callen explained as he accepted the call and held the handset to Abby's ear, straightening up to at least give her the semblance of privacy as she spoke to Gibbs.

Not till he heard her smoky voice drifting into his ear did he really believe his Abbs was okay and that the nightmare was over.

"Gibbs?"

Gibbs kept his eyes on the screen image of her, unable to tear his eyes away, "Abby, are you hurt?"

Never was he more thankful to hear her start one of her trademark babbles. "Gibbs, I'm okay. I know you were coming to save me. But these guys, they were amazing, really. I mean... you should see what they can do with a fire hose."

Gibbs felt a smile curl his lips for the first time in what felt like forever. "I know, Abbs, we saw. I'm still coming to get you."

As if hearing his voice was finally unravelling her self control, he heard her voice start to quiver, "Oh, Gibbs... Hurry... I... I need you."

Unable to say what he really wanted to in front of an audience and unable to comfort her as really he wished, he settled for promising, "I'll be there as soon as I can," knowing it was woefully inadequate.

While Gibbs was on the phone, Tony's cell rang and he winced when he saw the caller ID. "Yes, Director Vance?" he answered, rolling his eyes at Ziva and moving away out of earshot.

Vance's irritated voice filled his ear, "Agent DiNozzo, I can't get hold of Gibbs. His cell goes straight to voicemail."

Tony glanced over at his boss, but kept his voice low, "He's speaking to Abby, Director."

"Then he knows… you all know that she's safe?"

"We've been watching the video feed, so yeah, we know she's safe, thanks to Callen and Sam." Tony didn't like to think what they'd now be facing if Callen had been even a few seconds later.

"Yeah, it was a close shave… too close." Vance's voice sounded hoarse. Whatever the team might think of him, Tony at least realized that nearly losing one of his own was likely to put tremendous strain on the head of the agency... not to mention triple the paperwork.

"Did you see the feed too, Director?" Tony was curious how closely he'd followed the events in LA.

"Yeah, I saw it." Vance sighed and allowed a beat to pass before changing the subject. "As much as this has been a stressful time for your team, I need you back at the Navy Yard right away. You've caught a case, call dispatch for the details."

"Okay, I'll give them a call. Er, I think Gibbs…"

"You don't have to say it, DiNozzo. I can already guess. He's going to LA." Vance's voice was resigned with an undercurrent of annoyance. The Director might have a hell of a poker face but Tony had had enough practice by now to be able to read his voice, usually made easier if… or rather, when Gibbs managed to piss Vance off… not an unusual occurrence.

"Yeah, I think he is. Do you want to talk to him? He's just finishing his call," Tony asked.

"No, there's no need. We had our… discussion about him going to LA earlier. I don't imagine much has changed even now Abby is safe. He can take it as personal time." Tony was intrigued by Vance's grasp of the situation… it hinted at him knowing, or guessing, more than Gibbs would probably be comfortable revealing about his reaction to Abby's situation.

"Okay, I'll tell him."

"I don't imagine even Gibbs can convince the FBI to let him hijack their plane now that the danger to Abby is passed. I've already had him booked on the lunchtime flight to LA. He can pick the ticket up at the desk." There was a pause before Vance continued, weariness evident in his voice. "I think in these circumstances, we can put the plane ride on the agency dime. Tell him… tell him to bring her home."

Tony looked at the phone after Vance had disconnected. _Wow, the Director must be feeling really guilty about Abby._

Unaware of his Director cutting him some slack, Gibbs watched as Callen put his arm around Abby as she started to cry. He bent over, pulling her into a hug made awkward by the fact that he was still standing while Abby remained in the chair, unable to move.

Callen hesitated only briefing before bending to put an arm under Abby's legs and his other arm around her waist. Straightening, he hoisted her up, settling her more securely in his arms as she was unable to hold onto him, and turned towards the bed.

"No, G. I… I don't want to lie on the bed. Don't put me down there."

_Oh, Abbs…_

Gibbs felt his heart breaking at the slight note of panic in her tearful voice. She sounded more scared now the danger was passed than she had when facing down the Phantom so bravely.

Callen turned, still holding her and sat on the bed himself, back to the camera and settled her in his lap. He wrapped his arms more firmly around her waist, supporting her weight so there was no danger of her slipping off his lap as she couldn't yet help to anchor herself. Her fingers were twitching and her hands were able to clench but it was obvious she still couldn't move her arms.

She could now turn her head though and Gibbs saw her lean her head against Callen, burying her face in his neck. He watched as Callen cradled her, rocking her gently, one hand coming up to stroke her hair, all of them hearing him start to murmur to Abby but not able to make out the quiet words of comfort.

Gibbs ached to hold her. To be where Callen was now.

Tony's voice filled the silence.

"She shouldn't have been alone, boss. She should never have been allowed to go to that club with only Eric with her. Hell, she should never have been allowed to go to LA alone. It should be a new rule. Whenever Abby goes outside the state, goes anywhere on agency business, an agent should go with her."

Seeing Gibbs' hand move out of the corner of his eye, he braced himself for the expected head slap but was startled instead when Gibbs' hand gripped the back of his neck and squeezed warmly.

"I know, Tony. I know." Gibbs held Tony's gaze, trying to reassure him.

He released Tony and reached for his phone again, mentally head slapping himself that he hadn't dialled Ducky straight away. His ME would be frantic if he hadn't been linked into the feed and he may not know Abby was safe.

Ducky answered on the second ring, his worry evident in his voice, "Jethro, is there any news?"

"She's safe, Duck. Callen got to her in time." Gibbs turned and sat down, rubbing his free hand over his face, tiredness sweeping through him.

He could hear the relief in his friend's voice. "Oh, thank God, Jethro. Was she hurt?"

"She says not but I'll be happier when she's been checked over at the hospital. We think she was drugged."

Ducky's voice was tight with anger as he replied, "The bastard." He paused while he grasped for control. "Is he dead?"

Gibbs told him. "Yeah, Duck. Callen shot him."

"Good."

"I need you to view the video feed, Ducky. You need to see what she went through," sighed Gibbs, knowing how Ducky would react before he could finish his explanation.

And sure enough, his friend's horrified, "Jethro...?" interrupted him.

"No, Duck, nothing like that..." Gibbs knew it would take too long to explain and he still needed reassurance himself that she was indeed okay after her ordeal, so he just settled for telling him, "Just take a look at the footage will ya?"

"Of course. I'll talk to Vance straight away." Ducky paused. "Are you still going to LA?" already knowing the answer.

"You bet I am, Duck. I'll call you when I've seen her."

While Tony and Gibbs were on the phone, McGee and Ziva had liaised with Eric and Sam and were able to update Gibbs and Tony on the rapidly moving aftermath.

As he explained, McGee looked equally absorbed by the view of Abby being held by Callen and Gibbs couldn't find it in himself to be angry at his young agent's distraction. "Paramedics are on the way, but they might have to go in via the same skylight, Boss."

Ziva nodded. "The bomb squad has arrived but it will take them some time to clear a safe path through all the doors, even if it proves to be a straightforward task to disarm the booby traps."

McGee continued, "It may be safer if they can get Abby out through the skylight before the Paramedics get here."

"And quickly." Ziva picked up the thread, "If the whole place is wired, as the Phantom claimed, then it would only take one mistake by the bomb squad for the place to go up. They need to get them both out of there as soon as possible." She glanced at her teammates. "The fire service are on the scene and they are rigging something up now to get them out of the skylight."

Fornell joined them as they absorbed this new information and threat. "I'll feel happier when they're both out of there."

"You and me both, Tobias," Gibbs shot him a look, not sure how much more tension any of them could take.

While they waited, Gibbs turned his attention back to the screen, unable to tear his eyes away from Abby. He could see her hands flexing and she seemed to be regaining some movement in her arms.

She was trying to raise her arms and Callen reached down to grip one of her hands in his, lacing their fingers together. Abby slowly moved her other arm until she could bring her hand to the back of Callen's shirt, where she gripped the fabric, clinging onto him. Her head was now nestled on his shoulder and her tears seemed to have subsided but Callen was still cradling her head, holding her close.

Gibbs told himself it was petty of him to feel jealous at the scene in front of him. She needed comfort, he knew how she thrived on physical contact and he should be glad Callen was there to provide it.

It wasn't long before the fire service were able to rig up a harness and they watched as Abby was hoisted up out of the room, closely followed by Callen, finally safely on her way to hospital.

Tony moved up next to Gibbs as they turned away from the screen and told him about the call from Vance.

Fornell cut in. "He's right, Gibbs. I doubt I can swing it for you to hitch a ride on this plane any more, but it sounds as if you don't need it."

Tony commented, "Wonder why Vance is getting soft?" Gibbs didn't reply, privately wondering what the payback would be.

"I'll give you a ride to the airport," offered Fornell.

Gibbs shook his head. "I can take my car, Tobias."

Fornell snorted, "Huh, your driving's lethal enough at the best of times, Jethro. You look exhausted and Abby will kill me if you finally kill yourself behind the wheel. Don't argue. I'm driving."

Tony tried not to sound too eager, "I can drive your car to the Navy Yard, Boss, or back home."

Ziva came over, interrupting Tony before he could get in his stride, "Or I could."

"Oh come on, Ziva. The Boss wants his car in one piece," scoffed Tony, always read to rise to the bait.

"As our driving techniques are," Ziva glanced at Gibbs, eyes alight with mischief, "similar, I'm sure his car would respond more to my touch than yours, Tony. I will take good care of her, Gibbs."

Gibbs suppressed a smile as the pair bantered back and forth, knowing full well what they were doing in trying to lighten the atmosphere.

Fornell looked on, not bothering to hide his smirk. It was at times like this that they looked more like a family than a team of highly trained agents. Watching each other's sixes was an ingrained response now for all of them, both physically and emotionally.

Gibbs looked from one to the other and eventually tossed his keys to Tony, who grabbed his bag and practically ran down the steps of the plane, eager to get behind the wheel of the Challenger for the first time.

Ziva watched him go with an indulgent smile before turning to Gibbs. "Bring her home, Gibbs." Gibbs nodded and gave her a half smile in thanks as she left.

Outside in the bright sunshine on the tarmac, Ziva caught up with Tony just as he was circling Gibbs' car, practically drooling. He looked up as she approached, sobering instantly. "He'll be okay, won't he?"

Ziva knew he needed reassurance as much as they all did. "He'll be fine when he gets there. She will need him."

Tony looked thoughtful as he glanced back at the plane. "Are you sure you don't mean they'll need each other, Ziva?"

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><p>AN: See… told you I was finished with the cliff hangers? Oh ye of little faith… Just a short ticking over chapter for now.


	6. Chapter 6: Reflection

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews and alerts – hugs and chocolate to all. Time to deviate from the episode now and concentrate a bit more on the interesting character stuff rather than driving you all demented with cliffhangers!

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><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>** – Reflection**

Gibbs settled into the passenger seat of Fornell's car, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. He felt the tension of the past few hours finally start to drain away, leaving him utterly drained. His stomach churned and his nerves were jittery as the effect of the adrenalin coursing through his body still made itself felt.

The memory of what Abby had endured continued to roll through his head, in all too vivid technicolor. He was sure that the horror of every image would be carved onto his mind till the day he died. And that was just what they'd been witness to via the video feed.

Until he saw Abby again, he had no way of knowing what else she'd suffered in the hours before Eric had tapped into the live recording. And she'd gone through it all while he wasn't there to either help her or comfort her.

He felt he'd failed in what he'd promised her years ago – to keep her safe from harm, and he knew that the guilt of that would stay with him for a long time to come.

In one sense, Gibbs had been grateful that his team and Tobias were there with him while they watched Abby's ordeal. Their silent support and presence always made a difference, even if he never acknowledged it. But the intensely private part of him couldn't help wishing that he'd been alone.

He hated having witnesses whenever he felt weak, even if they were his closest friends.

If he'd been alone, he wouldn't have had to steal himself to keep his feelings hidden, or try to appear strong in front of his team when all he wanted to do was let his rage loose.

It was going to be a long morning till his plane took off and would no doubt feel like an even longer flight but before the day was out, he'd be reunited with her. He just wanted to wrap his arms around her and never let go.

Then he could see for himself how she was coping and how injured she was… although he suspected a lot of her scars would now be mental ones, and those were the ones that worried him most of all. At the moment, he had no idea how best to help her and knew that he'd need to spend time with Ducky when they got back from LA to try and understand what Abby would need from him. In the meantime, he'd just have to work off what he did best… his gut and his instincts.

As he drove, Fornell glanced over at his friend, pleased to see that at least Gibbs looked to be resting, but he could still see his shoulders were held rigidly and his face was drawn and tired. Fornell felt some of the residual tension ease from his own shoulders as he navigated the DC traffic, heading for the airport. He was unlikely to forget the images he'd seen of his young friend in danger.

If Abby had died tonight, he shuddered to think of the effect that would have had on Gibbs. He doubted whether his friend would survive such a blow.

Over the years, Fornell had also grown close to Abby and considered her a good friend. Under the guise of supposedly trying to tempt her away to work for the FBI, something he'd been ordered to do by his Director, he'd first taken Abby out to dinner years ago. From that first 'date', they'd started an unlikely friendship which had grown closer over the years.

He knew from that first year that he had no chance of succeeding in tempting her away to the FBI's lab. She'd listened to his offer, which was far more than NCIS were paying her, politely thanked him for dinner but told him in no uncertain terms that she was never leaving NCIS. He vividly remembered her cheeky, stunning smile as she'd followed that up by declaring that her refusal didn't necessarily mean that either of them couldn't dress up and enjoy a slap up meal each year anyway… with the FBI paying.

Fornell had realized within a year or so that the real reason she wouldn't leave was a certain silver-haired senior agent, but he kept his thoughts to himself and just watched from afar as his two friends danced around each other. Many a time he'd been tempted to head slap the Marine for being so dense and hesitating when Fornell could see that happiness was within the grasp of both of them.

So each year he took the opportunity to take Abby out to dinner on the FBI's dime, mostly to places that neither of them could have afforded on their own. It had turned into a yearly treat for both of them.

He enjoyed her company, and they always had a fun evening, chatting easily on a variety of topics. After all, he was never one to turn down turning up at a fancy restaurant with a beautiful woman on his arm, although he was careful to ascertain Gibbs' whereabouts on the night beforehand. Fornell had a well developed sense of self preservation and felt it was best to avoid stirring up Gibbs' possessive and territorial nature unnecessarily.

He'd also found it helpful to talk about his daughter with a female friend who was outside his own agency. Abby was sympathetic to his problems of being a part time father, especially with an ex-wife who always seemed to delight in making things difficult for him with Emily. He knew he could rely on Abby's discretion. She brought a fresh perspective to a lot of things and wasn't afraid to tell him a few home truths if she needed to.

His daughter had formed an instant bond with Abby from the moment they'd met. Abby had volunteered to help Emily with a school science project when he'd casually mentioned it, and the two had since developed a firm friendship. Both he and Emily often went bowling with Abby… and the nuns.

Emily considered Abby to be the coolest honorary aunt she had. Sooner or later, he was sure she'd be asking her mother if she could have a tat… and Fornell wasn't looking forward to the fall-out from _that_ conversation. But as a role model, he couldn't wish for better for his daughter, even one with what could only be called Abby's unique style.

As the car pulled off the highway, Gibbs stirred and looked at his surroundings more closely as they pulled into the parking lot of a diner.

"You forget the way to the airport, Tobias?"

"Nope, I'm buying you breakfast," he replied, knowing he'd have an argument on his hands.

Gibbs didn't move. "There isn't time for that."

"There's plenty of time, Jethro. It's more than two hours till the flight takes off. What are you gonna do at the airport while you wait? Wear another hole in the floor?" Gibbs just shot him a look and didn't reply.

"Despite what you think, you can't function only on coffee. Although come to think of it, you haven't even had coffee for a few hours so you'll be going cold turkey any minute now." Fornell got out of the car, determined to head in for his own breakfast even if Gibbs persisted in sulking in the car.

"Not hungry, Tobias."

Gibbs' voice sounded beyond exhausted, which made Fornell soften his tone as he leaned down to look across to the passenger side. "Look, Abby's going to need you, so you need fuel for that gut of yours. You can't help her if you're exhausted. Besides, I'm starving. Come on, old man, I'm paying."

Glaring at Fornell's back as he walked into the diner, he nevertheless acknowledged that his friend was right.

He'd be no good to Abby in his current state. He wanted to be sure he could concentrate fully on caring for her, helping her in whatever way she needed and he couldn't do that if he could barely keep his eyes open.

Gibbs followed Fornell into the diner and after ordering, they sat quietly as they waited for their food to arrive, both sipping their first coffee in several hours.

As the caffeine flooded through his system, Gibbs started to feel more alert. When the food arrived, he tucked in, hungrier than he cared to admit and he gave his friend a grateful nod. They ate in a companionable silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts.

Eventually, Fornell decided that now Gibbs was mainlining coffee again, it would be a good time to tackle him about the topic at the forefront of his mind. At the very least Gibbs couldn't very well off him in front of witnesses.

"So has this scare finally convinced you to get your head out of your ass and tell Abby how you feel?" he ventured.

Gibbs looked up from his plate, glaring. "None of your business, Tobias."

"It is my business when I see two friends holding back when they could be happy." Fornell was determined this was one conversation Gibbs wasn't going to retreat from, even if he had to provoke him to react.

"You don't know how Abby feels," Gibbs neatly sidestepped the subject of his own feelings.

"Huh, I would have thought signing _I love you_ and crying your name as she's facing her own death would have given even you a slight clue," scoffed Fornell. Gibbs froze as he realized that he hadn't been the only one to catch that last frantic signed message.

"Didn't know you could read sign, Tobias?" still Gibbs evaded the question.

Fornell shrugged. "Abby taught Emily a few signs, including _I love you_ so she could surprise me one birthday."

Gibbs felt a smile threaten to break out at the typical Abby gesture.

Seeing is friend's face soften, Fornell continued. "Then Abby taught me a few signs so I could talk to Emily sometimes, and without her mother knowing what I was saying. It just felt special to have something private that no one but me and Emily could understand."

"I'll have to try her out on a few phrases next time I see her." Gibbs adored Fornell's daughter, and the feeling was mutual. He knew he didn't see her as often as he should.

"Stop avoiding the question, Jethro." Fornell's quiet voice brought his attention back after a few moments of silence.

"The signing may not have been directed at me," shrugged Gibbs, unwilling to air his feelings in public, even with his close friend.

"Now you're just deluding yourself." Fornell started to let his irritation show through. Abby had never talked openly about her feelings for Gibbs, but Fornell guessed that she would never be the one to make the first move, presumably for fear of rejection or Gibbs quoting that damn Rule 12.

He continued, pressing home his argument. "Why do you think she's never left NCIS, huh? It's hardly for the modern lab, huge salary and up to date equipment they give her. We both know she could have whatever she wants in a private lab, or working for one of the other alphabet soups further up the food chain."

Gibbs' protest sounded weak, even to his own ears. "She feels happy here… she thinks of everyone as her family."

"That's not the real reason and deep down, you know it, Jethro. If I had a beautiful woman like that interested in me, I wouldn't have let the situation drift for as long as you've done."

Gibbs shook his head. "It's not that simple, Tobias."

"Yes, it is. It's just in your nature to make things unnecessarily complicated." Fornell leaned across the table, trying to get his point across before Gibbs' temper blew and he stopped listening. "Look, if seeing her nearly die in front of you isn't enough, Jethro, I don't know what it would take to convince you."

Gibbs looked down at his coffee, sighing. "Okay, Tobias. I get it."

"Then do something about it… before G. Callen snatches her away from under your nose."

_Ah, that got a reaction, _thought Fornell as Gibbs head snapped up, his eyes narrowed. _So he had seen how the LA agent had held Abby and how she'd clung to him._ "It may be a cliché, Jethro, but it's true – life is too damn short."

Eventually he heard Gibbs' quiet reply. "Yeah, I know, Tobias."

* * *

><p>As they finished the drive to the airport, Gibbs was silent and Fornell wondered if he'd gone too far.<p>

He hadn't meant to be so harsh to his friend after the hell he'd gone through this morning, but he figured that if he gave Gibbs enough time, he'd retreat behind his emotional brick wall again, as he usually did. Fornell feared that by the time Gibbs arrived in LA, he'd have convinced himself that it would be in Abby's best interests not to make a move, or start doubting all over again that she shared his feelings.

The man was that damn stubborn.

At the very least, he hoped he'd pissed him off enough to make Gibbs think.

* * *

><p>As the plane finally took off for LA, Gibbs settled back in his seat, grateful for both the time to think and perhaps sleep a little. He was loathe to admit it to either his team or Fornell but the interrupted night's sleep, plus the tremendous strain of the past few hours had left him feeling physically and emotionally wrung out.<p>

He'd spent the last few hours riding an adrenalin 'fight or flight' rush that had had nowhere to go.

The last time Abby had been threatened… the last time she nearly died in front of him was during the case with the 'killer' car that had trapped her inside and she'd nearly died from carbon monoxide poisoning. But at least then he'd been there so he'd been able to convert that adrenalin rush into something more concrete as he tried to get her out.

There too it had just been in the nick of time.

Because of McGee's inattention, he'd nearly lost her that day… and still he'd held back on telling her what she meant to him, and that was three years ago. Three years wasted… because he was an emotional coward.

Whatever he'd said to Tobias, or refused to say, he had no illusions any more about the strength of his feelings for Abby.

He loved her.

He could no longer try and kid himself. He just hoped he'd have the courage to tell her how he felt when he saw her… and hoped he wouldn't make too much of a fool of himself or jeopardize their friendship if he was wrong about her feelings.

He thought back to those last moments and her signing, coupled with her desperate cry of his name.

Did she really feel that way? Did Abby really love him or was it just the heat of the moment? She told him she loved him all the time, usually in the lab or in circumstances where she could laugh it off as friendship. But did she mean it as more than that?

Abbs was the most important person in his life. His Abbs… as he always thought of her, even though he had no right to.

She'd stuck by him through everything over the past ten years. She supported him without judgment. She cared for him without demands. She offered him friendship without expectation.

He'd always had the urge to protect her. Gibbs couldn't place the moment when it had morphed into something more than friendship for him. More it had crept up on him gradually until he couldn't imagine his life without her.

Seeing the image in his mind of Callen cradling Abby gently in his arms and of Abby in turn clinging tightly to his friend, Gibbs just hoped that he hadn't left it too late to tell her.

* * *

><p>AN: What? Oh, you can't call that a cliffhanger… settle down! Reunion next… at last! And finally something from Abby's point of view… and the gorgeous Callen.


	7. Chapter 7: Reunion

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: The site is not letting me reply to reviews so apologies to anyone I haven't thanked yet – all the reviews and alerts are much appreciated.

Okay, this is the first time Gibbs and Abby are back together… took me long enough, didn't it? You've been very patient, so here's a chapter that's a wee bit longer. And yes, I was tempted to split this into two, breaking it before they get to the hospital and back with Abby but figured you'd all lynch me if I did. :D I'm also introducing some uncomfortable themes here so the rating will change.

I can see Abby easily being attracted to Callen. Go read Jo_R's terrific _Random Encounters_ – she expresses that attraction more eloquently and succinctly than I ever could.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7 - Reunited<strong>

Pacing the arrivals lounge, waiting for Gibbs' plane to land, Callen felt his own exhaustion settle around his shoulders. It was the first time he'd paused since yesterday evening and a night without sleep, coupled with the tensions and stresses of the past 24 hours, were beginning to catch up on him.

After the fire service had hoisted them both out of that warehouse, the paramedics had been swift in checking Abby over.

She was in no imminent danger they'd decided but nevertheless recommended that she go to hospital, which immediately triggered vigorous protests from the woman herself. She was _fine_. She just needed time to recover her mobility and just required rest and didn't need to go to hospital… she hated hospitals. It was only Callen's insistence and the reminder from the paramedics that they didn't know what drugs the Phantom had used, and that a full blood work-up would be needed so they could be sure there were no harmful side effects, that convinced her it would be a good idea to go.

His time sat on that damned bed in the warehouse with Abby wrapped around him had allowed his own nerves to settle.

She was finally safe.

It didn't lessen his sense of guilt and responsibility that she'd been snatched on _his_ watch. He hadn't needed Gibbs' anger to remind him that they had taken their eye off the ball and put Abby in harm's way.

If he could find it in himself to acknowledge it, there was a certain irony in that, given the effect she'd had on him in such a short space of time. Putting her in harm's way was the very last thing on his mind when it came to Abby Scuito.

The minute they'd been introduced, there'd been an instant and strong mutual attraction. Both had felt the spark and he'd been determined to explore that further.

She'd accepted his dinner invitation, green eyes full of promise as they'd arranged to meet after she'd been to the club with Eric. He fully intended to take this further than dinner, conscious she might only be in LA for a short time.

She'd never made it, of course.

Why the hell hadn't he gone with her to the club? He'd never have let her go outside on her own… Gibbs was right about that and Callen was still furious with Eric for not protecting her.

Beyond the magnetic pull he felt towards her, Callen had also been more than impressed at her grasp of the case when they'd first met. Although he hadn't been immediately convinced by her theories, he couldn't help but be caught up in her enthusiasm and animation.

Within a few short hours, she'd proved that her reputation was well founded.

She did indeed live up to her hype.

After riding with Abby to the hospital, he'd stayed with her through the usual formalities and listened to her grumbling – already knowing her well enough to realize that if she was complaining about something, then she was starting to feel more like herself.

He'd spent the rest of the day debriefing and getting updates from Sam on the defusing of all the booby traps at the warehouse. He was eager to get back to the hospital to check on Abby's condition… but knew he'd have company.

Talk of the devil…

Gibbs' tall figure easily stood out from the trickle of people coming through the arrivals gate and as his friend drew near, Callen could clearly see evidence of the strain of the past day written on his face. He knew Gibbs always sought to protect his team and would feel it when any of them were in danger, but Callen was startled to see just how exhausted he looked.

He'd wondered at the cold anger in Gibbs' voice on the phone earlier. Seeing his face, drawn and tired, it made him wonder whether this was far more than just a senior agent's concern for one of his own.

As Callen pulled out into the LA traffic, Gibbs' first question wasn't long in coming. "How is she, Callen?"

"When I left she was arguing with the doctors, so she's as feisty as ever," which prompted a faint half smile from Gibbs.

"What did the doctors say? Come on Callen, give me it all."

"Well, until they get the blood work back on what drugs that bastard used, they won't know what they're dealing with." He could see Gibbs' jaw working as he tried to keep his temper in check. He knew he didn't need to spell it out to Gibbs that it wasn't just the immediate side effects she was experiencing as the drugs came out of her system that they needed to worry about, but there might be long term implications to deal with.

"Has she regained any more movement?" Gibbs asked, quietly, working to regain his composure.

"Yeah, when we got to the hospital, she could move her arms more freely and flex her legs."

"And…?" prompted Gibbs when Callen paused.

"As the feeling started coming back, she complained of pins and needles and said she was starting to feel nauseous." As the feeling started returning to her muscles, Abby had been hit with intermittent pins and needles of varying intensity and it had pained Callen to watch her struggling with it, not knowing how best to help her.

"What else?" insisted Gibbs, wanting to know it all before he saw her. He knew her well enough to suspect she would go into her 'I'm fine' routine, regardless of how she felt. They were too much alike in that respect.

"They put her on a drip to counter the dehydration," explained Callen. "She said she was unconscious from last night until she woke this morning in the warehouse." He felt his own anger rising again as he thought again about what she'd endured. "So she'd most likely been without fluid since last night. Combine that with the drugs and she was quite dehydrated."

Gibbs ran his hand through his hair. "How badly was she cut by the flying glass?"

"Mostly superficial cuts, fortunately. A couple needed stitches but the rest are fairly minor." Callen glanced across at Gibbs, "I think she's going to be okay, Gibbs, although I'll feel better when I know about those drugs."

Gibbs sighed and leaned back against the headrest. "Yeah, me too, Callen. Thanks... for getting there in time."

Callen offered, "Would never have forgiven myself, Gibbs, if we hadn't. My watch… my bad."

Gibbs nodded in acknowledgement of what Callen was trying to say. "I'm just glad she's okay… physically at least," continued Callen. "I don't think the mental strain has hit her yet… reasonably enough, she's just too busy at the moment being grateful she's still alive."

"That's why I'm here, Callen, to take her home where we can look after her."

Callen heard the 'we' but sensed Gibbs really meant 'I'… "She might need more help than that… you know that," he ventured.

Gibbs sounded weary. "Yeah, I know. I need to talk to Ducky when we get back. He'll already be working out what to do for the best."

Gibbs' cell rang and Callen listened in to his side of the call. "Yeah, DiNozzo… No, I don't know how she is yet, I haven't seen her coz I've only just got here… Yeah, Callen went with her to hospital." He looked over at the LA agent. "I'll call you when I have more news."

Gibbs ended the call in his usual abrupt fashion and they passed the rest of the journey to the hospital in silence, both lost in their own thoughts of the same woman.

* * *

><p>As they approached her room in the hospital, they could hear Abby's animated voice raised in argument.<p>

"She obviously likes hospital just as much as you do, Gibbs," was Callen's wry comment. Glancing over at Gibbs, he saw his lips quirk in a smile.

_That's my girl... _came the unbidden thought.

Walking into the room, they were met by the sight of Abby perched on the side of the bed, arguing with one of the doctors.

Halting in mid sentence, her eyes widened as she took in the sight of the two men, their presence immediately dominating the room as soon as they entered. She started to ease herself off the bed, her face lighting up but Gibbs was across the room to her side in an instant.

As he reached her, Abby flung her arms around him as she stood up. For once, he couldn't have cared less about an audience as he wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her neck.

Callen watched the pair of them, intrigued by what he saw.

Gibbs was not usually one to show his feelings too easily or in public, so it spoke volumes that he was wrapped around Abby like he had no intention of letting her go. Abby grinned a hello at Callen over Gibbs' shoulder and then her eyes drifted shut as she clung onto him.

Feeling what he told himself was an unreasonable degree of envy, Callen allowed himself a rueful thought that perhaps he wouldn't need to arrange a separate room for Gibbs at Abby's hotel after all.

Eventually pulling back slightly, Gibbs gently cupped her face in his large hands, stroking his thumbs across her cheeks, breathing out her name. A brilliant smile spread across her face as she gazed up at him, leaning into his touch, green eyes roaming over his face as if she couldn't take in the fact that he was here.

They could have been the only two people in the room, so little notice did they take of anyone else.

"How d'ya feel, Abbs?" Gibbs asked, his voice soft.

He tilted her head gently, jaw tightening as he took in the livid bruise on her neck from where the Phantom had forcibly injected her the night before, and the visible cuts on her face and neck.

"I'm okay, Gibbs, really. I'll be fine when I can get out of here." She still sounded slightly hoarse but he'd never been more thankful to hear her husky voice.

Recognizing it was exactly the type of reply he would have given if he were ill or injured, Gibbs merely arched a skeptical eyebrow. He looked over at the doctor she'd been arguing with, who approached as she sensed an opportunity to gain an ally.

"You're right to be concerned. I'd feel happier if Miss Scuito remained here overnight so we could monitor if she has any adverse reaction to the drugs in her system." The doctor sounded thoroughly peeved that a mere patient was daring to question her medical opinion.

Abby's protest was equally vigorous. "I can just as easily rest at the hotel… as long as I'm not on my own, right? The stiffness is wearing off too… see." Although she paced up and down as if to demonstrate her point, Gibbs couldn't help but notice that she didn't move with her usual grace. Her movements seemed sluggish and obviously stiff.

He refrained from commenting, however. Gibbs could sense her stubbornness surfacing and knew he'd get nowhere if he tried to override her wishes. As concerned as he was about her health, he could sympathize with her wish to get out of hospital as fast as possible. She hated hospitals as much as he did.

"You are also dehydrated," the doctor continued, with an air of finality.

If possible, Abby looked even more annoyed, her face taking on a familiar stubborn set. "Which you've dealt with already. I've been on a drip since I got here, Gibbs, they've only just taken it out. I can make sure I drink plenty of fluid just as easily elsewhere as I can here."

Sensing this was becoming a verbal tennis match, the doctor was beginning to sound exasperated, "I'd rather you weren't alone in a hotel room, Miss Scuito."

Gibbs' quiet voice broke the tension. "She won't be alone." He was rewarded with another smile, surprise on her face as she took in what he might mean by that.

"You see," Abby gestured at him, turning back to the doctor. "If you tell us what symptoms we need to be worried about, Gibbs can look out for me. Then it won't just be me on my own. Help would just be a phone call away."

"If you discharge yourself, Miss Scuito, it will be against medical advice."

"What were the drugs in her system?" asked Gibbs, attempting to head off a brewing explosion from the medic.

Turning towards Gibbs with relief, the doctor began her explanation. "The blood work came back and it looks like the main chemical agent preventing her from moving was a neuromuscular blocker." The doctor spoke as if Abby wasn't present and Gibbs could see exactly why she'd only ended up antagonizing Abby with her attitude. "As the stiffness wears off, there will probably be pins and needles, but Miss Scuito will also experience nausea from the drug used to knock her out. We've already prescribed something to help with that. What we need to monitor for is if the paralysis begins to return or the pins and needles get worse."

The medic looked from Gibbs back to Abby, "I'll leave you to decide but I really hope you at least consider what I've told you." She nodded at Gibbs and marched out of the room.

Abby rolled her eyes and turned back to Gibbs. "Let me look, Abbs," continued Gibbs, before Abby could speak. He reached out to cup his hand around Abby's neck, distracting her and cutting off what she was about to say.

He tilted her head once again so he could see the cuts on her neck from the flying glass. The cut on her arm was the deepest and he ran his fingers gently over the skin on her wrist next to the stitches covering the wound, not missing the slight shiver than run through her at his actions.

"Gibbs, it's just some minor cuts, it's nothing," came Abby's soft voice, watching as his thumb ran gentle circles over her skin.

Callen's voice broke into the moment. "It could have been a lot worse."

It was the first time he'd spoken and his voice drew Abby's attention back to him. A smile broke out over her face and she launched herself at the LA agent, wrapping him in a warm hug.

"Hey, G. Callen. My hero of the hour."

Callen returned her hug, conscious of Gibbs stiffening beside him. "You stood me up, A. Scuito," sensing she was also using this greeting as a way of moving the subject away from her health.

Abby grinned, delighted to see him again.

G. Callen was a fox.

Not quite a silver-haired one but a fox nonetheless. He reminded her of Gibbs in many ways.

She'd felt the chemistry between them as soon as they were introduced and had eagerly accepted Callen's invitation to a late dinner. She had been looking forward to seeing the club with Eric, and she wasn't blind to the fact that the young tech was attracted to her… although infatuated might be a better word and she'd have to be careful not to hurt his feelings.

But it was Callen's bed she'd been more interested in falling into later that night.

Abby had given up hope that Gibbs would ever reciprocate her feelings and had almost reconciled herself to that over the years. Although there was an expression on his face and a look in his eye just now that had her intrigued. His breath on her neck as he wrapped her in an almost desperate hug had had the usual effect of raising goosebumps all over her.

His quiet promise that she wouldn't be alone in her room tonight had also made her wonder… but she could have driven herself insane from all the mixed signals he'd sent her over the years. He'd had ample opportunity in the time they'd known one another to act on his feelings… if he felt anything for her beyond friendship. She'd waited long enough… and given him enough hints, or so she thought.

She hadn't dated anyone in a while, tired of being disappointed in virtually all the men she went out with. None of them even came close to Gibbs. It was far easier not to even bother. So she'd spent far too many long, lonely nights lately with only her fantasies of a certain silver haired Marine to keep her company and a bedside drawer full of toys to take the edge off.

So by the time she'd met Callen, she'd been more than tempted. She was tired of being alone. If she couldn't have Gibbs, perhaps she could develop something with the LA agent… or at least have some fun.

"Yeah, sorry about that, G. I was kinda held up," she teased, grateful for him trying to lighten the atmosphere. His sense of humor being only one part of him she was attracted to. "Will you take a rain check on dinner?"

Gibbs felt something cold settle in his chest at her words. Dinner? Dinner with Callen? She'd not mentioned that in her phone call yesterday when she'd spoken about going to the club with Eric.

Gibbs also couldn't help but notice that, even in a few short days, she'd developed a nickname for Callen… and he for her. There was an air of easy intimacy about them both as they talked that worried him more than he cared to admit.

Risking ratcheting up the death glare that he could feel being directed his way from Gibbs, Callen moved to hug Abby again, unable to resist wrapping his arms around her.

At least if the big guy took him apart, ER would be close by…

"I'll hold you to that, A. but in the meantime you really need to listen to the doctors."

"Oh, not you as well." Abby huffed at him. "Look, nothing the doctors have said has convinced me that I need to stay here. I'm not being irresponsible, Callen." Abby moved out of his arms and started to pace. "All I need is rest and time to get these drugs out of my system. I'm very tired and I'm not likely to get much rest here, am I? I'll sleep far better at my hotel… as dodgy as the mattress might be."

"He's right, Abbs." Gibbs joined in.

She looked from one set of vivid blue eyes to the other. "Are you sure neither of you were mother hens in a past life?" Gibbs snorted and shook his head. She was incorrigible.

Looking back at Gibbs, she continued, eyes narrowing, refusing to back down. "And this advice from the guy who won't let a bullet wound keep him in hospital. You two might as well accept that I'm discharging myself and taking a cab to the hotel if I have to. And if that argument doesn't sway you, you might like to remember that I haven't had caffeine since yesterday and I'm not going to be held responsible for the consequences if I'm forced to stay in here while I go cold turkey… and on top of all that, this hospital gown really isn't my color."

With an air of finality, Abby put her hands on her hips.

Callen suppressed a smile as Abby and Gibbs faced off. He'd bet good money on Abby being the one person who could get Gibbs to back down. It was amusing as hell to watch the hard assed agent, and the strongest man he knew, crumble under the weight of an adorable pout and a pair of green eyes.

Gibbs knew what was Abby doing. She was attempting to give the impression she was fine, a bright smile in place, acting normally… all in order to get discharged.

She was giving a performance and it would be a darn good one to anyone who didn't know her well.

Fortunately, Gibbs could see straight through it, but that didn't mean he wasn't sympathetic. It was the same strategy he used… except where she used smiles and coaxing, he used brooding silences, glares and threats to get the same result.

He raised his hands and signed, knowing she wouldn't lie to him if he did it this way.

_I know what you'__re doing._

Abby looked startled but smiled at him as she signed back, _And I know that you know._

_Is it safe for you to leave hospital? Be honest._

That was the bottom line. He would take her out of there if it was okay for her to leave, but he'd fight her and make her stay if discharging her too early would in any way harm her health.

She nodded, signing _I think it is. Trust me_, eyes softening as she knew he was just trying to take care of her.

His signed reply warmed her heart. _Always._

One of the nurses, Julie, approached and Abby greeted her with a smile. It was only the doctor's recalcitrant attitude which had annoyed her. The nurses who'd treated her had shown her nothing but kindness, and they in turn had warmed to Abby within minutes of her arriving.

"If it helps at all, Abby, the type of drugs in your system are not dissimilar to those we use in surgery." She looked over to the two men as she elaborated. "We use muscle immobilizing drugs sometimes to prevent spontaneous movements of muscles during surgery, typically for things like abdominal or thoracic surgery. The other drug he used on you is fairly similar to that used in general anesthesia, so I think you can expect the usual nausea which affects some people after they receive a dose of that."

Abby pulled a face. "Oh, yeah, I'm already getting that." Gibbs unconsciously stepped closer.

Julie continued. "The muscle paralysis drug, the one that will give you pins and needles, should wear off completely by tomorrow, so your stiffness will disappear. You might get intermittent pins and needles still over the next few days, but plenty of rest and massaging the muscles will help."

"Well, I can live with regular massage as a treatment," eyes twinkling as she smiled at the nurse, she looked up at Gibbs, who rolled his eyes at her.

"Yeah, I can imagine," Julie glanced over at the two men. "As for the nausea, just keep watching your diet for a few days and the pills will also help."

"Thanks, Julie. I'll be good, I promise." Abby surprised her with a hug.

Callen picked up the bag he'd brought in with him. "I picked up some fresh clothes from your hotel room, and there's your toothbrush in there too."

"That's great, G, just what I need." She rewarded him with a smile and a kiss on the cheek before turning to pick up a plastic bag from her bed. "In exchange, you'll need my clothes for evidence and," she glanced at Gibbs, hesitating, knowing how he was going to react before she said anything, "can you get them examined for semen."

Gibbs stepped to her side, hand reaching up to her shoulder, feeling nausea roll through him as he processed her words. "Abbs?"

Abby laid her own hand over his. "It's okay, Gibbs. I don't think I was raped," seeing him flinch. "I mean it doesn't feel as if I was raped, I'm sure I'd know... but I've no idea what he did while I was unconscious and that's… " she struggled for words, "that's freaking me out."

She swallowed and Gibbs could see the fear and dread flash across her face, knowing he was seeing a genuine reaction from her for the first time since setting foot inside the room.

Abby looked from one to the other. "I really need to know what he did, guys, if anything, and my clothes might tell us."

The fact that Callen hadn't shown any surprise told Gibbs that he suspected something already. Gibbs didn't want to confront Callen now but would get it out of him when Abby wasn't in earshot. He was holding something back… they both were. But pushing Abby now wouldn't achieve anything other than her clamming up on him.

Callen locked eyes with Abby, both remembering the sticky residue on her clothes.

He'd felt it as he held her but hadn't commented on it at the time. He knew he shouldn't be surprised that she'd been aware of it too. She was a scientist for Christ's sake, of course she'd seen it… or been able to smell it. She would have analyzed enough semen stained clothes in her career to not even need a formal analysis to tell her what the substance was.

Abby broke the tense silence. "Now scram the pair of you while I shower and get dressed." Nodding, Gibbs leaned forward and pressed his lips to her temple before leaving. Callen squeezed her hand as he passed.

She let out a sigh of relief when the two left. Keeping up the front of being okay was taking its toll, even if she knew Gibbs wasn't fooled. She just wanted to get out of here, get back to the hotel and rest.

Julie put her hand on Abby's arm, her expression concerned. "Are you okay, Abby?"

"Yeah, just tired I guess. I'll be happier when I can get out of here… no offence intended, you've been great."

"None taken. I'm not surprised you want to get out of here though. I would if I was being collected by those two."

Abby laughed, shaking her head. "It's not what you think."

"Oh, don't ruin my fantasy fodder for tonight, Abby." Julie kept her tone light, sensing Abby needed distracting and was rewarded by a laugh as she continued. "Those two are _way_ too hot. We don't get many alpha males turning up in here… never mind two in one morning. You've cheered up all the nurses at any rate."

* * *

><p>After grabbing coffee from the vending machine, Gibbs and Callen had found a quiet corner to talk while they waited for Abby. Gibbs took a sip and grimaced, before throwing the cup in the nearest trash. "What's on her clothes, Callen… or do I even need to ask?"<p>

Callen had been prepared for the question, knowing Gibbs wouldn't beat about the bush. "It looked like semen stains down the front of her clothes."

Gibbs closed his eyes, cursing under his breath as his imagination filled in the details… he thought he'd done with adding images to the memory bank of horrors today. He should have known it wasn't that easy. "Why didn't you tell me? You knew, didn't you?" he demanded.

Callen nodded, "I suspected, yeah. I noticed it when I held her... afterwards. And would it have really helped to know any earlier, Gibbs, to torture yourself?" he demanded.

"Stop trying to protect me, Callen, I need to know it all." Gibbs took in a deep breath, trying to calm down before continuing after a few moments, "Was there any earlier footage from that video feed?"

Callen shook his head, already knowing what he was thinking. "Don't know, Gibbs. When Eric found the feed and tuned in, it was already running. Eric said he'd got it rigged to record straight onto the hard drive of his PC, so there could be hours of footage, from the night before. I'll get Eric to check."

"Wanna know what that bastard did to her, Callen," rage clearly audible in Gibbs' voice.

"Me too, Gibbs. Me too. It makes me sick to my stomach to think what he might have done. He held her all night... whatever we saw in the morning may only be the half of it."

"Whatever you find, I'd like Ducky to see it… and I need to see it too." It wouldn't be easy, it would kill him to watch it but he knew he had to… he couldn't help her if he didn't know what the Phantom had done.

Callen hesitated. "Are you sure you want to put yourself through that, Gibbs?"

"There might be nothing but if there is, I need to see it… I need to see what the bastard did."

Callen was more grateful than ever that he'd killed the Phantom outright. Judging by the cold hatred in Gibbs' voice, if he'd been still alive, the Marine would have found a way to finish him… even if that meant breaking the law and ending up in Leavenworth himself.

* * *

><p>AN: Patience… patience… Gibbs and Abby will be alone soon. And yeah, the last bit's an uncomfortable subject I know but I think it needs addressing. I can't believe a guy like the Phantom would NOT have done at least something while she was unconscious.


	8. Chapter 8: Confessions

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: Okay, a bit of comfort after all the angst.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter<strong>** 8 – Confessions**

When Abby appeared from the hospital room, her hair was still damp from the shower and loose on her shoulders, her face devoid of make-up. She looked tired, circles under her eyes and her skin even paler than normal. After dropping off her discharge papers at the nurses' station, she made her way over to Gibbs and Callen, a wan smile on her face, relieved to be finally leaving.

"Good to go?" asked Gibbs, as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders as they moved off.

"More than ready, Gibbs. Get me out of here guys."

As they made their way out to the car, Abby felt the need to vent about the doctor who she'd done nothing but argue with since she arrived. "You know, I can't believe that doctor. She was just so totally patronizing. It took me ten minutes just to get her to tell me the name of the drug the Phantom used, like I couldn't _possibly _understand words of more than two syllables."

Gibbs and Callen exchanged an amused glance over her head, but she hadn't finished yet. "I eventually had to pull out my forensic scientist trump card to get her to tell me and by that time I was so pissed, I went all pompous and self righteous on her. I don't know what came over me but I ended up lecturing _her _about all the uses of that drug, making sure _she_ knew that _I_ knew more about that damn drug than she does."

"Feel better now?" Gibbs sounded amused as she huffed to a halt as they reached the car.

"Yeah, much," rewarding him with a wry smile.

Callen dumped her bag in the trunk and took out Abby's handbag. "I brought your bag. Eric found it in the parking lot at the club."

"Hey, thanks, I'm lost without this, my whole life is in here. "She paused, eyes twinkling. So wanna tell me why you didn't bring it into the hospital with you, G. Callen?"

Callen smiled. "You know damn well why, A. Scuito."

"You mean a hard ass federal agent who faces down bad guys can't carry a handbag through the corridors of a hospital?" teased Abby.

"It's not his color, Abbs." Gibbs smirked as he ushered Abby into the backseat and after a moment's hesitation, followed her into the back of the car.

She looked surprised but pleased as he settled in next to her. He reached across for her hand, lacing their fingers together before startling her as he lifted her hand and brushed a kiss across her knuckles. She looked down at their joined hands to hide her blush.

He was definitely acting very un-Gibbs-like in public but she wasn't about to complain.

"What am I? A cab driver," came the comment from the front, breaking the moment.

"Just drive, Callen." Gibbs leaned his head back against the seat.

As Callen pulled into the traffic, Gibbs' cell rang. After showing her the caller ID, Tony, he offered her the phone. "It's you they want to talk to not me."

They listened as Abby spoke to the team back in DC, greeting each of them enthusiastically, her voice animated and her face coming alive. Gibbs hid his smile. He could imagine his team's excitement at hearing Abby's voice only too clearly.

Callen watched them in the mirror, seeing how she was almost curled into Gibbs' side, leaning her head on his shoulder as she spoke to her friends. He saw Gibbs press a kiss to her hair and then lean his head briefly against the top of her head, his face looking relaxed for the first time since he arrived.

_Oh yeah, this was much more than an agent's concern for his forensic scientist… even if neither of them fully realized it yet._

Callen was sure she wouldn't have agreed to go to dinner with him if she was already involved with Gibbs. He couldn't imagine Gibbs sharing her with anyone.

He knew he wouldn't.

Callen couldn't remember the last time he'd been so drawn to a woman. It was difficult to pin down exactly what it was about Abby that seemed to bring out every possessive-protective instinct he had, although he'd bet that she had that effect on most men. He'd spent the last few days torn between kissing her senseless and taking her to bed, or wrapping her up and protecting her from the world.

He could see exactly why she'd got Gibbs tied up in knots, and it seemed to be reciprocated, judging by the way her face lit up when she'd first seen Gibbs in the hospital.

He'd known Gibbs for years. He'd seen his marriage to Stephanie fail and had since learnt about his first wife and child and wanted nothing but happiness for his friend, even if it meant backing away from a woman who fascinated him.

When Abby had finished, Gibbs gestured for the phone. "McGee, tell Ducky I'll call him tomorrow." He wanted privacy and especially didn't want Abby to hear his conversation when he spoke to the ME.

The rest of the journey was silent as Abby rested her head on Gibbs' shoulder, eyes closing as she dozed. Now she no longer had to put on a performance for the medical staff, her exhaustion was beginning to make itself felt.

Callen dropped them at Abby's hotel, arranging to see them the following day at the LA office for a debriefing before they flew back to DC. Abby hugged Callen warmly again as Gibbs took their bags out from the trunk.

Callen watched them enter the hotel, a feeling of sadness washing over him. He recognized that he'd probably missed his chance with Abby… if he ever really had one.

Whether she knew it or not, he had a feeling there was an invisible tattoo etched on Abby somewhere written in Gibbs' handwriting which read _mine_.

* * *

><p>Entering her room, Abby dumped her bag on the bed and stood in the centre of the room, shoulders slumped. Gibbs followed her in, carrying their bags and the water bottles he'd picked up on the way in. If she was going to rehydrate properly, she needed to do it with something other than Caf-Pow!<p>

She looked so forlorn and lost standing in the middle of the room that he felt an overpowering need just to hold her. Acting on instinct, Gibbs walked over and wrapped his arms around Abby. It was the first time they'd been alone and he just absorbed the feel of her in his arms, breathing in the scent of her hair.

She returned his hug, burrowing into his chest, shivering slightly and rested her head on his shoulder. Her voice sounded tired. "It feels good to be alone."

That startled him and he drew back slightly. "Do you want me to leave, Abbs?"

"Not you, you idiot." She looked up at him. "I meant it's good to be alone _with you_. I thought I'd never see you again."

"Me too, Abbs." He drew her back towards his chest, holding her close and brushing his lips against her temple.

She slid her arms round his waist. "I've been thinking about that a lot today, Gibbs. I've had a lot of time to think."

They stood quietly together, each taking comfort from the other. Thinking she was about to fall asleep on his shoulder again, Gibbs pulled her towards the bed and helped her out of her jacket, urging her to lie down. She grabbed the bottle of water off the nightstand and drank thirstily, looking at the clock. "It's not quite time for more nausea pills yet."

"You feeling sick then?" he asked, concerned.

Abby shook her head. "No. I was a bit earlier but it's gone off now."

"What about the pins and needles? Saw you flexing your hands in the car." Gibbs tucked her hair behind her ear.

Abby should have known that she couldn't hide anything from him. "A bit of tingling in my fingers and shoulders in the car, but that's gone off too. It sort of comes and goes and nearly always in a different spot."

"Promise you'll tell me when it does, Abbs." Gibbs sat on the bed beside her.

"Why? You gonna give me a massage?"

"Might do." He smiled down at her. "Try and get some rest now."

Abby caught his hand as he tried to move away. "Hold me, Gibbs… can you just hold me? I'm so tired."

Needing no further encouragement, he shrugged out of his coat and settled on the bed beside her, gathering her towards him. "Sleep if you want, Abbs. I'm not going anywhere."

She sighed and rested her head on his chest, feeling herself relax for the first time today. Her muscles still felt sore and stiff and if the hotel room had had a bath rather than a shower, a long hot soak would probably have helped.

Time drifted as they both enjoyed the feeling of being together again, a comfortable silence settling over them. But she couldn't seem to drift off to sleep, despite her exhaustion.

"I need to know, Gibbs."

He didn't need to ask to know exactly what she was referring to. "Yeah, I know, Abbs."

"Not knowing what that bastard did to me last night is just freaking me out. I mean I can deal… or I think I can… with the stuff he _actually _did while I was awake, but it's just… it's the stuff rolling around in my head that's really scaring me… almost far more than what actually happened."

"Imagination's a powerful thing, Abby." Knowing there was nothing he could do to reassure her, he knew she wouldn't thank him for empty promises. So he chose to go with something practical to give her mind something to focus on. "How long were you unconscious?"

"Well," she thought about it for a moment, "when I woke up in that chair it was some time this morning." She started tracing patterns on his chest as she pondered. "It was difficult to judge how much time passed, you know, but I think it was about a couple of hours before Sam and Callen arrived. So that's 12 hours unaccounted for since I went out to look at the hot rods last night."

"Eric should never have let you go outside alone." He couldn't hide his annoyance.

"Oh no you don't, Gibbs." She struggled upright to sit beside him on the bed, prodding his shoulder, sounding pissed. "I've already had this argument with Callen. I will not have you laying _any_ blame on Eric. I was the one who decided to go outside. I'm a big girl, Gibbs. I sent him for more drinks while I went out to see the cars."

"Abbs…" he broke in, trying to interrupt her. This wasn't what he had in mind when he said rest.

"No, Gibbs." She was adamant. "This is _not _Eric's fault. That kid already feels guilty enough. Do you know he rang Callen's cell and asked to speak to me and just kept apologizing over and over? I think Callen ripped him a new one already and I won't have you doing the same."

"Regardless of whether there was any danger, what guy let's a woman go outside to a darkened parking lot?" Gibbs wouldn't be placated. "He should have gone with you."

"Oh, Gibbs." Abby took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "And how do you think I'd have reacted if Eric had insisted on going with me, huh? I'd have said, don't be silly and gone anyway."

She was right but that didn't mean he had to like it. He knew even he could have problems persuading Abby to do anything she didn't want to, so a kid like Eric would have no chance. He eventually nodded, not wanting to argue with her. "Okay, Abbs."

"If it's anyone's fault, Gibbs, it's mine." She held up a hand when he would have interrupted her. "I was the one who went outside. Hell, I didn't even realize I was at risk and yet the whole thing was a trap… a set up from beginning to end."

_Oh no, she wasn't going to take this on herself._

Gibbs reached up and slid his hand round her neck, tilting her face up so she'd look him in the eye. "No, Abbs. None of this is your fault."

"But I must have missed something, I need to go back over the evidence, look at it again. There must something there I should have seen, and I should have checked out the forum users, Gibbs. He was right there all the time, right in front of me and I didn't see it." She broke off, distressed.

"Listen to me, Abbs. This isn't your fault. None of us saw it. The Phantom's the only one to blame for this, not you."

This was typical of Abby.

Not only would she not blame Eric or any of the LA team for putting her at risk, she would even try and take the blame away from the guy who'd begun this spiral, the Phantom, choosing to beat herself up over what she could have done differently.

It was a character trait they both had, and he didn't like it.

She shared his habit of brooding and going round in circles with 'what ifs'. He needed to talk to Ducky to see how best they could help her. After years in that vicious circle himself, he knew how unproductive and self destructive it was. Not sure if he'd got through to her or not, he pulled her back down and was relieved when she settled against him again. He traced gentle circles on her back trying to calm her.

"How much of the feed did you see, Gibbs?" came the quiet question a few minutes later.

He didn't need to think about it, every second was engrained on his memory but he chose not to mention the comment about the bed for the moment, which is where they'd tuned in. "From when you were talking about his first victim to… to the end."

"So you saw Callen's rescue?"

"Yeah."

She sighed. "I'm sorry you had to go through all that."

That was also typical of his Abbs. She'd been the one to go through the ordeal, yet here she was apologizing for putting her friends through hell. "Did all the team see it?"

"Yeah, and Tobias."

"Toby was there?" She sounded surprised. "Oh yeah, I forgot… you were hijacking their plane, weren't you?"

His "Borrowing" earned him an unladylike snort.

"How did you swing that?" she asked, curious what he'd done.

"Called in a favor from… _Toby_," amusement coloring his voice, attempting to lighten her mood any way he could think of. She swatted his arm and shifted so her head was on the pillow next to him, wanting to see his face.

"I didn't know you were on the other end of that feed, you know, Gibbs, and reading what I was signing." She brought the conversation round to what she really wanted to talk about. "I kinda hoped you were but…"

"Eric can read sign too." His mind ran through those frantic moments when they'd been trying to decipher her messages.

"Yeah, Callen told me. Though you're more familiar with my signing than he is… although I doubt my hand signals were that clear. My fingers felt stiff."

"Callen wouldn't have found you without it, Abbs," glancing over at her, remembering just how close they'd come to losing her.

"I know. I wasn't sure if anyone was watching it. I just thought that if you were or someone was… or maybe if you saw it later, you could read what I signed and it would help find me… " she hesitated before continuing, "or find my body."

He turned on his side and brushed her hair off her face, fingers trailing down her cheek. "You scared the crap out of me, Abbs. I nearly lost…" He stopped as his throat tightened, unable to continue as his emotions threatened to overwhelm him.

Her eyes widened at the look in his eyes and she reached up to his face, fingers moving along his jawline, sighing as he turned his head to place a kiss in her palm. "Can't lose you, Abbs."

"Gibbs… how much did you see?" It was time to prod the elephant in the room awake. She needed to ask Gibbs if what she saw on his face now was more than just affection for a friend.

"Saw what you signed, Abbs…. at the end."

"Oh." Not exactly her most eloquent utterance but for a moment she was unsure what to say next.

The crunch question came from Gibbs. "Did you mean it?"

"Yeah… yeah, I meant it Gibbs." She started to look down, but he put a finger under her chin and tilted her head up so she couldn't avoid his gaze. What she saw there gave her the courage to continue.

"I love you, Gibbs." There, she'd said it and felt her pulse rate pick up as she saw a slow smile start to curve his lips. "I know I tell you that all the time but I really mean it like I'm _in _love with you. I mean I don't know if you feel the same, so I might be making a complete fool of myself here but I just had to tell-…"

Her lips were soft. He couldn't help wishing that he'd used this method to stop her babbling long before now. He moved his lips gently over hers, kissing her softly. He kept his eyes open, not wanting to miss her expression and he saw her eyes close as he slanted his mouth over hers, extending the kiss, teasing her, absorbing her slight gasp in his mouth before drawing back.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked softly as her green eyes opened, hazy with pleasure.

Her smile was ironic. "Too scared, Gibbs. I mean I can just hear that conversation and how much that could have gone wrong. I was scared of losing our friendship."

"Don't think we could ever lose that, Abbs."

She shook her head. "I couldn't be sure. I didn't want to risk it and the more time went on, the more I convinced myself that you didn't feel the same. Besides, I'm not your type Gibbs. I'm not a sophisticated, mature redhead in case you hadn't noticed."

He smiled at her. Did she really not know how beautiful she was? Before he could tell her so, she went on. "I mean I know we've flirted and danced around each other for years, but I didn't know if you felt anything beyond friendship for me. I didn't know if you wanted me."

"Oh, I want you." He slid a hand out to cup her neck. He leaned forward again and pressed his lips against hers, unable to resist deepening the kiss, feeling her respond eagerly.

As they broke for air, he nuzzled his way across her cheek. "Didn't know you wanted me."

She murmured, "I'm all yours, Gibbs, always have been," as she felt him nibble her earlobe before moving his lips to her neck.

She felt him smile against her skin at her words before a possessive growl of "Mine" into her neck made her shiver. Trying to rein himself in, he kissed his way gently back along her jawline before pulling back to look at her dazed expression.

Senses spinning, she frantically tried to get a coherent sentence out. "Why… why didn't you make a move, Gibbs?"

"Too scared. Didn't think you'd want an old Marine."

She reached out to run her fingers through his hair, indulging herself in something she'd always wanted to do. "Well, I do… very much. I'm tired of pretending, Gibbs… tired of holding back."

"Then don't." Drawn to her mouth again, he leaned in to kiss her, hands cupping her face to hold her in place as he suckled on her lower lip, tugging gently, hearing her moan softly as she leaned into his touch. "Don't want to hold back either."

Keeping the kiss slow and tender till it came to a gentle end, he pulled her back into his arms and she snuggled in close, her hand resting on his chest, feeling his steady heartbeat.

Neither found the need for words, happy to lie there quietly together.

Content as he was to lie there all evening, he was conscious that she needed to eat and, more importantly, drink, and the sooner the better so she could rest and get some proper sleep, not something that was drug induced.

"You hungry, Abbs?" He asked after a few minutes.

She raised her head and sent a mischievous smile in his direction, quirking an eyebrow. "I meant food," he shot back, flicking the end of her nose.

She grinned at him, unrepentant. "Not very but I feel a bit empty I guess."

"Any nausea?"

"No, not yet, nothing since earlier. I just feel… tired."

"I know." He could see the strain on her face, her eyes shadowed and lines more visible than normal. "Have you eaten anything today?"

"I had a sandwich at the hospital when they gave me the last dose of nausea pills, so I guess I'd better have something with the next dose."

"Soup then.. and crackers?" he suggested. "And then sleep."

She pulled a face at the unappetizing suggestion but nodded, more to appease him than because she really wanted to eat.

"I'll order something for both of us and then I'll take a shower." Giving her a quick kiss, Gibbs left the bed and she lay there, content to watch him as he moved around the room, unable to believe that a day that had started so horribly was ending so wonderfully.

* * *

><p>AN: It would be really mean of me to break the chapter about their first evening at this point, wouldn't it? *nods*.

So I really wouldn't be that mean to you, would I? *shakes head*

Ooops…. *ducks flying objects*


	9. Chapter 9: First Night

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: Have a bit more comfort as we're still reeling from Swan Song – God, I'm going to miss that guy. If Swan Song was the penultimate, what the heck is in store for the finale?

A tiny bit in this chapter is just for my friend, With the Grain, as we have the same obsession with 'GIHWHW' (cookies for the person who works out that acronym!) She'll know it when she reads it! ;)

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>** – First night**

The food arrived while Gibbs was in the shower and Abby took the opportunity to change into her pyjamas, pulling a sweatshirt over the top, still felt slightly chilled. Her pins and needles were back, her nerves 'firing' off intermittently, and she figured keeping warm might help.

Abby sat cross-legged on the bed, the tray in front of her as she halfheartedly started on the crackers and soup, trying not to think of one of her chief fantasies, Gibbs in the shower, taking place next door. She was also feeling a kind of nervous anticipation at the thought of them spending the night in the same hotel room for the first time.

Once she'd started, Abby found she was hungrier than she thought and had managed to finish most of her soup and drink another bottle of water by the time Gibbs emerged from the bathroom.

She stilled as he came back into the room, cracker paused in mid air at the sight in front of her.

No shirt… was all her mind could come up with at first.

Sporting sweatpants, Gibbs just had a towel slung round his neck, hair still wet from the shower. Her hands itched to run her fingers through it… her mind still trying to process the living breathing fantasy striding into the room.

As terrifying as it was being shot at by Ari all those years ago, with the grief of Kate's loss still raw, her most abiding memory of that evening was being cuddled by a soaking wet Gibbs, water running down his face, hair sodden. As he'd pulled her close that night, she'd buried her nose in his neck. He'd smelled of an intoxicating mixture of rain, sawdust and coffee.

Abby shook herself out of the memory, distracted by her first sight of his bare chest. She couldn't help her eyes wandering over his skin. He wasn't overly muscular but nicely toned, with broad shoulders and strong arms and sparse chest hair… _grayish-silver too… oh my._

Conscious that he'd stopped in front of her, she raked her eyes slowly up above chest level to meet an amused blue gaze.

"What? I have license to look now, don't I?" Abby protested, her voice betraying her in its huskiness.

He shrugged, toweling his hair vigorously. "Help yourself."

_Did he really __just tell her to help herself? _

_Oh right, he meant looking… didn't he? _

"Oh good, coz I gotta tell you the view is pretty impressive from here."

He leaned down and her heart rate reacted predictably to his warm close presence… _oh god, he smelled so good._

He grabbed the cracker out of her hand and pressed a quick kiss to her nose. "Eat your crackers, Abbs."

She mock glowered at him as he retreated. "Hey, I can multi-task. I can munch a cracker, ogle you and eat my soup all at the same time."

"Thought you were tired." He snorted and grabbed his own plate, settling himself on the side of the bed and tucking in… to something more substantial than soup, she noticed.

She was rewarded by a side view this time and let her eyes run over his strong back, wondering what the muscles would feel like under her hands… her mouth… her skin. Her sensible head knew she was too exhausted and under too much strain to do anything about it, and she should really just curl up and go to sleep, but her inner slut was uncurling and virtually purring at the sight in front of her.

Abby also recognized this emotional reaction common to a lot of survivors of trauma… the need to reaffirm that they were still alive, which usually manifested itself as an urge for sex. That, coupled with the fact that she'd wanted him for years and that he could make her toes curl in a heartbeat, it was hardly surprising her mind was heading straight for the gutter.

The playful look Gibbs threw over his shoulder as he sat down told her he knew exactly what she was doing and where her eyes were wandering. She knew he was supremely confident in his own skin, but Abby was unused to this almost seductive playfulness from him and found she loved this side of him. No wonder women kept marrying this guy.

It wasn't long before she'd finished the rest of her food and stretched out on the bed, trying to ease some of the kinks out of her muscles. As he finished his own meal, Gibbs noticed that Abby was rolling her shoulders and shifting her legs restlessly.

"Muscles stiff?" he asked, quietly concerned that she was holding back on how bad she was feeling.

"Yeah, a little. A few pins and needles in my hands, and some cramping in my legs and shoulders but nothing too bad."

"How bad?" he persisted.

"A lot easier than earlier, Gibbs, honestly."

Gibbs turned to place a hand on her leg, "Tell me where."

Swallowing hard at the thought she was about to get a massage from a half naked Gibbs, Abby gestured to her calf muscles.

He pushed up the silk of her PJ pants covering her lower legs, enjoying the feel of her soft skin against his fingers, feeling a shiver run through her. His strong hands circled her lower leg, fingers beginning a gentle massage. Gibbs watched her face, unsure how much pressure he could exert on her muscles. It wasn't like an ordinary sports massage and he didn't want to exacerbate the pins and needles.

"Tell me if it hurts, Abbs. Don't want to make it worse."

Gibbs watched her eyes close and head fall back against the pillow as she relaxed into his touch. Her soft moan went straight to his groin and he shifted his hands to her other leg, repeating the gentle pressure, trying to control his reactions.

He'd decided in the shower that tonight would not end in sex. She'd been hurt, terrified, drugged and was beyond exhausted. What she needed was food, water, rest, sleep. She needed caring, tenderness, kindness, warmth, gentleness... love.

She didn't need him acting like a horny teenager.

He'd wanted her for years. It wouldn't hurt him to wait a bit longer. What he did want was to cradle her to sleep, to hold her and take care of her tonight… the first of many nights he hoped.

That was the plan he'd come up with in the shower anyway.

_Good plan, Gunny__. Pity the execution might be more difficult than you thought_.

Running his eyes up the lines of her body as she stretched out on the bed in front of him, he swallowed hard, a jolt of need going through him… there was a fantasy in every curve.

Keeping his eyes on the few inches of skin at a time that he was massaging and not letting his eyes or hands… or thoughts wander … that was the way to handle this. _Man up, Marine._

When he could feel her calf muscles loosen under his hands, Gibbs eased her pant legs down again and pulled her into a sitting position. He clasped Abby's hands, looking at her questioningly.

"Oddly enough, the base of my thumbs are tingling but I can probably do those myself." Not really wanting to as she was enjoying being the focus of his attention too much.

"Let me." His thumb pressed into the muscles, gently pushing in small circles. She dropped her head forward into his shoulder, eyes closing and murmured, "That is just heaven, Gibbs."

"Sure is." She laughed softly as she heard his muttered comment. She opened her eyes, taking advantage of her angle to peek down, seeing evidence of the effect she was having on him in an impressive bulge at the front of his sweatpants.

He drew in an unsteady breath. "Turn round, Abbs."

Climbing onto the bed, Gibbs settled behind Abby. He swept her hair to one side and debated whether to ask her to remove the sweatshirt, but he was finding the massage arousing enough without increasing the amount of bare skin within reach.

Figuring he'd be able to at least unknot some of the muscles even through her top, Gibbs brushed his hands over her shoulders. He felt more confident now at how much pressure he could exert and worked his way across both her shoulders, trying to find where the muscles were knotted.

Almost purring under his ministrations, she felt her muscles loosen and the worst of the pins and needles subside. He was so tender and caring and she felt herself rapidly turning to mush.

His hands felt incredible, strong and sure and her body was getting impossibly turned on by his touch. She knew she was really too exhausted and sex should be the last thing on her mind, but couldn't help shifting restlessly as she felt a pulse start to beat insistently between her thighs.

Slowing his massage to become just gentle strokes across her shoulders, Gibbs leaned forward to rest his chin on her shoulder.

"Feel better?"

"Mmmm."

"Had enough food?"

"Mmmm."

"Sleep?"

"Mmmm."

He chuckled at her barely audible responses and pulled her back, settling her against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her as she leaned her head back against his shoulder, both of them reluctant to move and disturb the peace of the moment.

Abby eventually managed to tear herself away from the warm shelter of his arms before she fell asleep. She kissed him softly in thanks and headed for the bathroom to clean her teeth. When she returned, he was under the covers, lying on his side, head propped on one hand, watching her as she pulled off her sweatshirt.

"Nice PJs, Abbs," he smirked as she climbed into bed beside him, running his eyes over the skull and crossbones pattern decorating her camisole top.

She rolled her eyes at him. "Well, I didn't know I was going to have company, did I?"

"Not even Callen, your hero of the hour."

He could have bitten his lip the minute that remark slipped out. She didn't need to deal with his possessive jealousy right now. But instead of ignoring his sarcastic comment, she sat up, pulling her knees up to her chin and looking at him over her crossed arms, choosing to address it head on.

"You're not jealous, surely?" She read his face, slightly surprised that he could feel threatened. "You are, aren't you?"

"Damn right I am." He couldn't help but be honest with her.

"Wow, so that's what your jealous face looks like. Not seen it before."

Abby reached out and brushed her fingers down his cheek. "I'm not going to lie to you, Gibbs. I was… I am attracted to Callen. He reminds me of you. He's attracted to me too… I think."

"Oh yeah, he is." Gibbs remembered the look on his friend's face. "You were gonna go out with him last night."

"Yeah, he asked me to dinner and I wanted to go out with him." She sighed, remembering the look on Callen's face as they left him at the hotel entrance. "He's a great guy, and I'd given up hope of you and me ever being more than friends."

"It's not his fault we… I held off for too long." He knew he'd regret that for a long time.

"We're both at fault, Gibbs. I hesitated as much as you did." She was trying to absolve him but he knew it was mostly his cowardice that had stopped him.

"Never did have very good timing, Abbs."

She was honest enough to tell him. "If it had been another time and another place… I'd have been tempted to become involved with Callen."

"Then it looks like I nearly lost you twice." Once to Callen and then permanently to the Phantom.

"I've wanted you for years, Gibbs, and been in love with you for almost as long," she admitted softly. "And now I feel guilty for leading Callen on… when it's you I really want. None of this is fair on him."

"He's my friend too, Abbs. Don't want to hurt him either." It was the last thing Gibbs wanted.

She turned to face him, sitting cross legged beside him. "I really need to talk to him. At the very least I owe him an explanation."

He hesitated but he had to ask. "Are you sure about us, Abbs?" He didn't want her to regret anything and needed to be sure that she wasn't merely reacting to the danger she'd been in, reaching out to the first person who showed her comfort.

If he hadn't come to LA, would she now be in this room about to sleep with Callen?

She reached for his hand, smiling softly at him. "Yeah, I'm sure."

"Coz I'll back off if you want me to." She'd never know what it cost him to say it.

"You would do that?" She sounded incredulous, gripping his hand tightly, suddenly afraid that he was now regretting it.

"Would hate it but… this is about what you want. Want you to be sure this is what you want… that I'm what you want."

She leaned forward, brushing her lips lightly across his in reassurance, moved that he would be so selfless. "I am sure."

Relief washed over him and he returned her kiss, smiling at her when he drew back. She raised his hand, pressing a kiss into the palm. "I'll talk to Callen tomorrow."

Gibbs nodded, unable to stop a sense of possessive satisfaction running through him. "Good, coz I don't share."

She huffed a laugh, knowing he was more than half serious even if his tone was light. "Me neither, Gibbs." Two could play at that game. "You need to promise me that there'll be no more," she paused for the right phrase, "random redheads."

That earned her a laugh. "Promise, Abbs. No more redheads…. random or otherwise. No more anyone… only want you." He reached up to pull her head down to kiss her again.

She sighed when he eventually broke the kiss. "Don't pinch me, Gibbs, I keep thinking I'm dreaming." She opened her eyes to see the lop-sided smile she loved so much. "You gotta remember that until about two hours ago, I didn't even know how you felt about me."

Cupping her cheek, he couldn't resist kissing her again, nibbling her lower lip and teasing her with his tongue, slowly exploring her mouth before drawing back to meet her eyes. "Do you know now?"

She smirked. "I'm starting to get some idea but I perhaps need a more thorough explanation."

She couldn't resist leaning forward this time, rapidly becoming addicted to the way he tasted. Abby pressed him back against the bed, hands roaming across his chest for the first time, a shudder going through her at the feel of his skin and hard body underneath her.

Her need intensified and she deepened the kiss, moaning into his mouth, unable to prevent a tide of yearning washing over her.

She felt him moan into her mouth as his hands roamed over her back pulling her closer, and that only served to elevate her desire further. He suddenly rolled them over, pinning her down so she could feel all of him pressed against her, their kisses turning desperate and hungry, Gibbs taking control of the kiss and dominating her mouth.

Somehow… in the middle of a haze of desire so intense he could barely concentrate, his conscience started tapping him on the shoulder. _Gunny…_

_Aw,__ hell._

Heart pounding, he gathered the last shreds of his willpower and drew back slightly, slowing the pace and intensity of his kisses until they were slow and soft. Not that it was helped by the mewing sounds she was making in the back of her throat, her nails scratching through the short hair on his neck, and the feel of her breasts pressed against his chest through the thin silk of her top, or the way she arched against his hardness, her body soft and pliant against his.

As much as he wanted to continue, he knew it wasn't the right time. Abby was frightened and needy, desperately wanting comfort and reassurance. It wasn't how he wanted either of them to remember their first time.

This wasn't about him claiming her as his own, even though he was confident enough in his own abilities in bed to be sure he could banish all thoughts of G. Callen from her mind. But this wasn't about him. If they made love now, it would be more about what he wanted than what was good for Abby.

She made a whimper of protest when he broke the kiss, shifting back slightly to put distance between them, his body aching in protest.

He rested his forehead against hers, breathing heavily. "Don't want to do this here, Abbs. You're exhausted, you need sleep." He kissed her softly, trying not to make it sound like a rejection.

She breathed out his name on a shaky breath, eyes still clouded, hands clenching on his shoulders.

Trying to calm his body, he shifted so he was lying on his side, stroking her cheek gently. "You're vulnerable, Abbs. I'd just be taking advantage of you."

All Abby could feel was intense longing for the man beside her. "What if I want you to take advantage?" She wanted to crawl into his arms and forget what had happened, take whatever comfort she could from his body.

Gibbs shook his head, pulled her into his arms, hand stroking her hair. "When we do this, I want to take my time. Want you in my bed."

Deep down, she knew he was right but it didn't stop her body screaming out in frustration. She snuggled close, resting her head on his shoulder, determined to maintain some contact with him. "Have I ever told you how irritating you are when you're always right, Gibbs?"

He snorted. "Frequently," relieved he hadn't upset her too much by pulling back. He could head slap himself for letting the situation get so quickly out of control, but she was just intoxicating and all he'd wanted was a little taste… he had a feeling that 'just' a taste wasn't ever going to be enough with Abby.

Lying quietly together, letting their heartbeats settle, they both felt tiredness creeping over them as the strains of the day caught up with them. "You're not going to go all noble on me are you, Gibbs, and sleep on the floor?"

He tightened his arms around her. "Not unless you want our first call in the morning to be to a chiropractor," causing her to giggle in response. "Not going anywhere, Abbs."

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><p>AN: Well, you didn't expect sex yet, did ya? Oh you did… oops! Well, give the poor woman time to recover a bit…

I realize I've introduced some difficult themes in the last few chapters, hope you'll bear with me. I'll try not to write myself into an angst corner.

To me there are a few issues to address from what Abby went through. She was: lured to LA, so what should have been her greatest triumph was tainted – how does that knock her professional confidence? Would she even continue with her blog and go back to the forum? Threatened with rape – that line about 'buying another night of life' was chilling. Almost dying at the hands of an axe-wielding serial killer. Drugged. And the bit that would freak me out – being unconscious overnight and not knowing what the guy did to her.

Any other issues I've missed in that lot? Or anything else you want me to particularly address, let me know.


	10. Chapter 10: Interrupted Sleep

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews and alerts – it means a lot. Not trying to get too angsty in this chapter but she's got to start reacting sometime…

And Bamacrush gets the cookies for guessing the acronym on her first attempt! GIHWHW… what else could it be but Gibbs Is Hot When He's Wet ;)

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><p><strong>Chapter <strong>**10 – Interrupted sleep **

"No… no, don't… no, please."

The frantic cries at an ever increasing volume would have been enough to penetrate Gibbs' sleep, even if he hadn't been aware of Abby shifting restlessly in bed, thrashing around, her voice growing more distressed with every word.

They'd shifted positions in the night and when he jerked awake, he became aware that he was lying behind her, arm wrapped around her waist, chest pressed against her back. He moved back slightly before he could get caught by a flailing arm, hesitating over the best way to interrupt her nightmare without startling her further.

Before he could make up his mind how best to get through her panic, a hoarse cry of "NO!" erupted from her lips and Abby surged bolt upright in bed.

As she came to, she clutched the sheets to her chest, her shoulders hunching over as if to protect herself. The sound of her labored breathing was harsh in the darkened room as Gibbs sat up, moving closer.

There was enough light seeping in from the hallway of the hotel, plus the streetlights outside for him to dimly see her panicked face, eyes darting around the room, her chest heaving as she fought for breath.

Gibbs had seen enough panic attacks in his time to recognize the symptoms of one fast approaching.

Abby almost screamed when she felt a hand on her arm, only relaxing when she heard a familiar voice calling her name.

She tried desperately to focus her mind on that well loved voice, but found that she could hardly breathe, and the more she tried to gulp in air, the less she was able to pull in. Gibbs heard her gasping, sensing her panic rising as she fought for breath but only managing shallow breaths.

He could feel the anguish and despair rolling off her in waves. He needed to get her breathing normally before she hyperventilated.

Gibbs shuffled round on the bed until he was facing her, hating the fear and anxiety he could see on her face… or rather loathing the maniac who had put it there. He felt dread clutch at him as he wondered what she was dreaming about that had triggered such a reaction.

He placed his hands over hers where they clutched at the sheets, raising his voice to get through her dazed state. "Abbs, listen to me."

She didn't pull away from him but he could tell that she wasn't quite with him yet. She simply couldn't seem to get enough air into her lungs, her desperate eyes darting everywhere but his face.

Gibbs pulled her hands to his chest, holding them there with one hand while his other hand wrapped round the side of her neck, trying to ground her with his touch and his voice.

"Abbs, breathe with me."

He breathed in deeply, holding her hands to his chest so she could feel his chest expand. "Come on, Abbs, feel me breathing. You can do it."

Whether it was his voice or his touch or the feel of his skin under her hands, but Abby slowly began to breathe in tandem with him. As he felt her start to take slightly deeper breaths, he cupped her cheek and leant his forehead against hers, whispering gently to her, trying to make her concentrate on his voice.

Gibbs gradually took increasingly deep breaths, hearing and feeling Abby slowly begin to match his breathing. He could feel her keep pace with him, inhaling and exhaling slowly… deeply… in…. out… until he saw her panic begin to subside.

As her eyes began to focus more on his face, Gibbs released her hands to cup her face with both his hands, feeling his own fear subside.

She was coming back to him.

Her palms kept pressed against his chest as he felt her relax.

Eventually, Gibbs heard her gasp his name and felt her shudder, her body starting to shake with reaction. He shuffled closer and wrapped his arms around her gently, not wanting to frighten her but needing the contact as much to reassure himself.

His own self control wasn't proof against a frightened, hurt, vulnerable Abby.

He felt her arms come round him, gripping him hard, burying her head in his neck and his arms tightened, rocking them gently. One of his hands came up to softly stroke her hair, soothing them both by the tender action, brushing his lips over her hair and nuzzling her temple.

Sensing her calming down but worried at how cold she felt in his arms, he gradually moved them so they were lying down. He continued to cradle her and she pressed even closer as he pulled the covers up around them both, forming a cocoon. Gibbs felt her body shaking and trembling and wrapped his arms more firmly around her, trying to instill some of his warmth into her chilled skin.

They lay quietly for a while, until her shaking subsided.

She moved her arms to grip him more tightly, trying to burrow as close as she could, taking comfort from his closeness and his warmth. He ran his hand up and down her spine, turning towards her slightly so he could wind both arms around her, entangling his legs round hers, seeking to get as much bodily contact as possible.

Gibbs felt the hitch in her breathing as she clutched at him, trembling on the verge of tears. Eventually, he could feel moisture on his neck and felt her finally start to cry.

Abby didn't cry very often.

Although she was a very emotional person, it took a lot to actually make her cry. She was too stubborn and he'd seen her battle back tears on more occasions than he cared to remember.

This time he was glad that she'd finally let go.

He'd been expecting this since he was reunited with her yesterday, but had seen her hold herself in, putting on a performance for the hospital staff, and for Callen. Then the evening had turned in a direction which he'd hoped for but couldn't have expected and they'd both been distracted by the emotional consequences of revealing their feelings.

Now in the quiet darkness of the night, her subconscious had taken over and reminded her body and mind of what she'd endured.

Until he spoke to Ducky, he felt out of his depth at how best to help her, but he knew without prompting that keeping everything bottled up was the worst thing she could do. It may be what he did… how he coped with grief and hurt by burying it, but it didn't make it the right way.

Abby needed to get her pain and anger out.

All he could do was be there to hold her when she did. Even when she cried, she didn't let go completely and it wasn't long before her quiet sobbing subsided, her breathing feeling shaky against his neck as she recovered.

Gibbs brought up his hand to cup the back of her neck, resting his hand on her hair and felt her nuzzle his neck, finally relaxing against him. Pressing gentle kisses over her forehead and across her face, he murmured her name and brushed his lips over her mouth before gently stroking her hair back from her face.

She settled against his firm chest, her heartbeat returning to normal, Gibbs' familiar scent enveloping her. He felt so warm and she wanted nothing more than to burrow into that warmth and shut out the rest of the world.

"I'm so glad you're here, Gibbs," her voice still sounded shaky even to her own ears.

"Me too, Abbs," came the soft reply.

"I'm not sure I could have coped without you." She hadn't wanted to be alone tonight.

"You don't have to." He let the silence drift for a while before asking, "how bad?" Neither needing to clarify that he was referring to her nightmare.

"Bad." She took a deep breath, needing to get it out. "I couldn't move, Gibbs. I woke up and I was in that chair again and as well as not being able to move, I couldn't breathe either. I tried and I tried but I couldn't get my breath."

She drew in an unsteady breath as his hands traced patterns on her back, telling herself over and over that she was here, with him. That she wasn't in that room any more… in that chair.

"I've got you, Abbs. He can't hurt you any more." Warm arms enfolded her.

Gibbs was here… she was safe.

Abby vividly remembered coming to yesterday morning, panicked for a moment when she couldn't focus. Her vision slowly cleared but as she realized she couldn't move, her body's defenses kicked in.

Her logical mind immediately made the leap between not moving to maybe not being able to breathe either and for a few terrifying seconds, she'd struggled for breath. It was several panic stricken moments before she realized that she could in fact breathe, it was just her chest muscles which were sluggish.

She'd found the Phantom's disembodied voice chilling. She'd tried to move her head, trying to strain her eyes towards the sound but had initially not been able to turn her neck. There was so much whirling around in her mind… every memory of everything that had happened in the last 24 hours. She didn't want to think about it but couldn't stop the images flashing across her mind.

She didn't want to stay awake and think about it, but she didn't want to sleep either.

Gibbs glanced at the clock… a little after 3am which meant they'd had a little over 5 hours sleep, which was often more than either of them could manage when they were on a tough case. But she needed more than that if she could manage it… much more.

"Try and sleep, Abbs." He was softly insistent.

"Not sure I want to go back to sleep, Gibbs." Her voice sounded small and uncertain.

"You need rest." Tomorrow would be another long day. After the debrief at the office, they still had a flight before he could get her home, back in familiar surroundings.

"Don't want to have a nightmare again." His felt his throat tighten at the fear in her voice.

She wouldn't thank him for meaningless reassurances. The only thing he could do was promise he'd be there to share whatever was coming. "I know. I'll be here if you do. I'll always be here."

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><p>AN: Back to the LA office and poor old Callen next and then home.


	11. Chapter 11: Regrets

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: Some of the dialogue below is direct from the episode and the signing between Abby and Eric is a bit of a guess based on my knowledge of sign, plus what seems to be an online consensus over what they said so I might have got it wrong.

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><p><strong>Chapter 11 – <strong>**Regrets**

Together…

That was the word Callen thought best described Gibbs and Abby as they arrived at the LA office the next morning. There was a subtle shift in their body language as they walked in which was… intriguing.

He'd noticed yesterday how physically aware they were of each other, but that seemed to be even more marked today; their hands almost brushing as they strode in, walking close together, each fully into the other's personal space with no discomfort at all.

They presumably hadn't needed that extra hotel room after all.

Callen moved forward to greet them and was rewarded with a gentle smile from Abby as he kissed her cheek and a nod and handshake from Gibbs.

Abby looked less exhausted than yesterday and while her skin always seemed to be pale, she didn't look as ashen as she had at the hospital. Callen could still see the dark circles under her eyes but figured that was to be expected. It would take more than a few days before she was physically over the effects of her ordeal, never mind the mental ramifications.

"Morning, A. Scuito. How do you feel?"

"Okay. Tired but better than yesterday, G. Callen. I don't feel quite so nauseous anyway."

Abby had eventually drifted off to sleep again wrapped in Gibbs' arms, feeling warm and safe. No more nightmares plagued her for the remainder of the night and she woke for the first time in a bed next to Gibbs, something she could easily get used to.

A hot shower had banished stiff muscles and seemed to ease the lingering pins and needles. She'd risked eating a modest breakfast, conscious that she'd existed on only minimal food for more than 24 hours, although her first coffee for two days didn't sit too well on a recovering system. Chucking back the next dose of nausea pills she hoped would ward off the worst effects of feeling sick, at least to get home.

Abby turned to Gibbs as he clasped her hand briefly and gestured with his head upstairs. Abby nodded and smiled, watching him as he moved away upstairs.

There was a subtle intimacy about this non-verbal communication that reminded Callen of their signing yesterday, when they'd so effortlessly shut out everyone else and seemed to be in a world of their own.

He'd known it yesterday when he'd dropped them off at the hotel that he really stood no chance with Abby, and seeing the look on her face now as her eyes lingered on Gibbs only confirmed it. It wasn't a surprise but it still left him feeling wistful for a missed chance.

"He's off on a coffee run I expect and he wants to see Hetty before we leave," Abby offered by way of explanation as she turned back to him. "It's good to see you again, G."

"When's your flight?" he asked.

"We're booked on the lunchtime plane." She knew Gibbs was as eager as she was to get home, pick up their lives and explore this new found relationship.

Callen drew her further into the office. "You've solved 15 murders, Abby. How's that feel?" He hoped she could remember her professional achievement after all she'd suffered.

"Almost as good as being alive," she replied, a comment which earned her the smile which had first made her stomach flip when she'd been introduced to Callen a scant few days ago. He had the same blue eyes as Gibbs, a grin that could charm anyone and a stocky, strong body.

It may have been good for her ego to have two gorgeous men attracted to her but it played havoc with her conscience.

A deep voice sounded behind her before she could say anything else. "Hey, I lowered him down." Abby turned to see Sam fast approaching.

Glad her other hero was also here, Abby flung her arms around the big guy to give him a brief but bone crushing hug, "And you did it perfectly."

She'd never be able to adequately express her thanks to either Sam or Callen for giving her back her life, and for giving her this chance at happiness with Gibbs, even if that was tinged with a certain amount of melancholy when she looked at Callen… a sense of what might have been. Her timing sucked, as always.

Sam hugged her back and extracted a promise to come say goodbye later before she left. He kissed her cheek and moved away, sensing she and Callen needed privacy. He'd sensed how much the forensic scientist had affected his friend in such a short time and regretted that things hadn't worked out for him.

Abby waited until Sam was out of earshot and drew Callen aside, keeping hold of his hand as she smiled at him, "Thank you G. Callen for saving me."

He looked down at their joined hands. "I'd never have forgiven myself if you were hurt, A. Scuito."

Abby sighed. "It wasn't your fault. I wish everyone would stop blaming themselves."

"I'm just glad you're safe." Callen paused, all too aware he had very little time to say what he wanted and not really sure where to start. "I hope Gibbs is going to look after you."

"I have a feeling I'm going to be spoiled and coddled for days to come."

"Can't help wishing I were in his shoes. " His honesty was touching and made her feel even more guilty. If she could change one single thing about the last few days, other than being kidnapped by a serial killer of course, it would be that she hadn't hurt this good, charming man. He didn't deserve it.

"Oh, G, I'm no sorry." She reached up to stroke her fingers over his cheek.

He shook his head. "Don't be. You're a fascinating, beautiful woman, A, and I'm glad to know you."

"I didn't mean to lead you on, G, you must believe that." She moved closer to loop her arm through his, not sure quite what to say but felt Callen deserved an explanation. "We've been friends for years but up till yesterday, I had no idea Gibbs felt anything more for me than that. I would not have agreed to dinner and possibly more with you if I'd already been involved with Gibbs. I wouldn't do that to either you or him."

Typically Callen was reassuring. "I know, A. I'm glad Gibbs finally came to his senses and realized what's right in front of him. I'm just sorry it took you being in danger to do it."

"We're both at fault for hesitating too long. It's…" Abby paused, "complicated."

He looked into her green eyes, feeling the same punch to the gut as when he'd first seen her. "He's been my friend for a long time and he deserves happiness after all he's been through. So I can't be sorry at the outcome, even if it means I don't have a chance. I'm glad you two are together. He's a lucky man."

"I've already told Gibbs that if it had been another time, another place, I'd have acted on this… " she gestured between them, "whatever it is I can feel between us."

"I know. I feel the same." He couldn't help a wry smile. "Guess I was too late."

"I'm sorry Callen." She moved to face him, putting her hand on his chest, letting him see the regret on her face.

"Don't be. Gibbs is a lucky bastard." Abby was touched beyond words at Callen's generosity and flung her arms around him, burying her head in his neck as he continued. "But if he hurts you, I'll kick his ass."

"I'll look after him, G." She knew how much he cared for Gibbs.

"I know." She felt his arms fold around her, returning her hug. "Am I getting the death glare?" he asked after a moment.

She giggled and looked up to where Gibbs had emerged from Hetty's office and was standing on the balcony above them. She couldn't see his expression that clearly from here but could guess at it. "A little bit."

"I thought so. I could feel the laser burns on the back of my neck." He pulled back to grin at her, arms still looped around her waist. "At least he can't reach me with a head slap from over there," which earned him another throaty, sexy chuckle.

He reached up to brush his fingers across her cheek. "Are you gonna be okay, A? I don't mean with Gibbs coz I know he'll look after you. I mean after…" he trailed off.

She sobered but a determined look came over her face. "I think so, G. I had a nightmare last night," he tightened his arms again at her words, "and I'm sure it's going to be the first of many. But I've got Gibbs now and my friends will look after me. I know NCIS will have all the mandatory psych evals but I'm gonna need Ducky and the team more than some… nameless shrink. There is one thing though…"

Abby hesitated but Callen finished her thought. "You need to know what he did."

They'd only known one another a few days and yet he seemed to be able to read her mind; they were eerily in tune. It reminded her of the first few months of knowing Gibbs as their friendship developed and how they'd soon ended up finishing each other's thoughts. "Yeah, I do. You and I can both guess what happened though I think."

"Yeah, I think I can." He felt his anger rising again at the thought of what the Phantom might have done to her. "I don't know what made me think you hadn't spotted the stains on your shirt… why I thought I could ignore it and you wouldn't notice."

"Oh, G, I've spent half my professional life examining semen stains. I knew what it was as soon as I saw it."

What was it about the men in her life that they felt the need to protect her from everything? It was a very touching… and very frustrating trait.

Callen was rueful. "I know. Your clothes are in forensics now and we should have the results soon, but I guess you don't need the results to tell you, do you?" He was reluctant to remove his arms from around her, wanting to prolong their contact for the short time she was there… despite the fact that a certain silver-haired Marine probably wasn't enjoying the view much at the moment.

"No, I just need to know how they got there… I mean I _know_ how they got there. What I mean is…" she gestured helplessly, her hands coming to rest on his shoulders.

"I know what you mean, A." His mind had already supplied the images.

"I guess what I'm asking is I need to know what he did to me _before_ that semen got there?" She felt his arms tighten on her waist again as she couldn't help the strain showing in her voice.

"I've asked Eric to analyze the video feed from before the time when we tuned in. That should tell us. Although I'm not sure if I really want to see what he did," he admitted.

"I need to know, G." Abby was adamant. "However difficult and horrible it is, I need to know. It's freaking me out not knowing… even if my imagination is already filling in the gaps."

"Okay." Callen nodded. "Gibbs asked the same thing."

"Did he?" Abby glanced up at Gibbs where he was leaning on the railing. "Yeah, of course he did. I want… no, I_ need_ to see it too." She sensed Callen's hesitation. "I need to, G."

"Gibbs wants me to send the footage to Ducky if there is any." It was obvious Gibbs hadn't told her this, nor did he know if they'd even discussed the possible footage and there was no way he was getting in the middle of that argument. "I guess he wants to see it too."

"I need to see it. Send me a copy." He recognized a stubborn set to her jaw when he saw it.

"A, I… do you think that's a good idea?" He understood why Gibbs wanted to protect her. She seemed to bring out a ridiculous sense of protectiveness in every male. "I know what you're gonna say but don't you think you ought to speak to Ducky first?"

"Ducky will only want to protect me, and you know Gibbs will too."

"Yeah, I know and I agree with them." He went on before she could argue. "Look, I'll let you know when I've sent the footage to Ducky, the rest is up to him and you."

Sensing that was the only concession she'd get, she nodded, "Okay, that's fair enough," before moving in for another hug, determined that she wasn't going to argue with him any more.

"You buckle that railing, Gibbs, you pay for it," came Hetty's wry voice as she moved past him to go down to Abby and Callen on the lower level. She threw an amused glance at Gibbs as he straightened, giving Hetty a rueful half smile as he released his hand from the railing where he'd unconsciously got it in a death grip.

In the privacy of Hetty's office, he'd taken the opportunity to update Ducky on Abby's condition, relating how she'd put on a performance for the medical staff in order to get discharged.

That earned him a rueful laugh from Ducky, 'That's no surprise, Jethro. She acts just like you do in hospital, except she's more polite and charming about it." Gibbs remembered her feisty confrontation with the doctor with a smile, but decided that was a story that could wait till he saw Ducky in person.

Gibbs had described Abby's nightmare and was grateful the doctor didn't question how he happened to be there to witness this in the middle of the night, although he doubted the implications would have been lost on his friend.

He ended with telling him about the semen stains on Abby's clothes, hearing Ducky's indrawn breath as he absorbed the inference of how they'd got there. He repeated what Abby had said about not feeling that she'd been raped and told him how the footage from the video feed might help resolve what had happened, however painful it might be for all of them to find out.

Abby released her hold on Callen as Hetty approached, with a fond smile on her face, "The post-incident medical evaluation is not optional, Abby. They're waiting for you. Go, go."

Abby sighed, this was the bit she was dreading. She looked up to Gibbs, signing where she was going and he hid his answering grin as he sipped his coffee. Knowing full well what he was thinking, Abby glowered at him and then took off up the stairs.

At the top, she bumped into Eric and came to a halt. He looked sheepish and guilty and she wondered just how hard Callen had been on him.

She raised her hands and signed _So, you know sign language?_

Eric gave her a shy smile. _I better, friend grew up deaf, knew it since I was 7. _

He looked so forlorn that she couldn't resist reaching over to give him a hug, _Lucky for us._

Eric knew she was just being kind… Gibbs had translated her signing more easily than he had. All he'd done was put her in harm's way. He switched to speech, not sure how to say how sorry he was. "Abby…"

"It's okay, Eric. It wasn't your fault and I'm sorry if Callen gave you a hard time. I was the one who decided to go outside and I wouldn't have listened to you even if you'd tried to come with me. The Phantom would have taken me… whatever we'd done."

He wouldn't be placated. "I'm still sorry you were hurt, Abby. If I could have spared you that…"

"I know, Eric. But it's over now and I shan't forget what you did." She pecked him quickly on the cheek and continued upstairs, conscious of his wistful gaze on her as she moved away.

As Eric drew his eyes away from Abby's swaying hips, his skin prickled as he felt other eyes on him. Swallowing hard as he met the unwavering stare of Special Agent Gibbs, he decided he'd better get this over with… and only hoped that the Marine wouldn't be able to off him in full view of the rest of the team.

"I, er… I know how you feel about apologies, Agent Gibbs, but I gotta get this out. It was my fault she was taken and I'm not likely to forget it. I'm sorry."

The hard blue gaze held his for what seemed like forever, and he understood exactly why this man had his formidable reputation as an interrogator. He was surprised therefore when Gibbs broke eye contact first and turned to look over the balcony again, sipping at his coffee.

"Abby doesn't blame you, and she's safe." He shrugged. "That's all that matters."

Unsure what to say at what he figured was a major concession from Gibbs, Eric kept silent. He eventually heard Gibbs say quietly, "Thanks for not translating everything Abby signed."

For a moment Eric was puzzled and then he remembered the last sign he'd seen, although it had taken him a moment to process it, given that he was distracted by the fact that the Phantom was holding an axe to Abby's neck.

As Eric thought back now to the last sign he'd seen, coupled with her cry of "Gibbs", it came to him in a flash… _oh._

He glanced over at Gibbs beside him but wisely chose to confine his reply to a brief nod.

Why had he ever thought he had a chance with Abby?

He must have been deluding himself. Not only did he have Callen as a rival but looking at the tall Marine next to him, he realized just how hopeless was his infatuation with Abby. He felt like a kid playing with the grown ups.

She wouldn't have looked once at him never mind twice with such competition.

Eric saw Callen approaching and left the two men to talk.

After several minutes of silence, Gibbs was uncharacteristically the one to break it. "Something you want to tell me, Callen." He wondered what had gone on in the conversation he'd just seen between Abby and his friend, not liking how physically at ease they were with one another.

After a pause, Callen sighed, "Apart from the fact that you're a very lucky bastard, Gibbs, nope."

He turned to face Callen. "Yeah, I know I am. Don't have to remind me."

"Look after her, Gibbs."

"I intend to." He recognized the regret on his friend's face, and could sympathize. The feeling of thinking he'd not be able to have Abby was one he'd lived with for years. "You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, can't help regretting my timing though. If you weren't a friend, Gibbs, you'd have competition."

"So I gathered." Gibbs knew that was no idle threat either. Callen could charm most women when he set his mind to it. He knew he might not like the answer but had to ask the question. "Something happen between you two?"

"Nope. Doesn't mean I didn't want it to." Callen sounded wistful. "Was planning on turning dinner into breakfast."

It was an uncomfortable reminder of how Gibbs had nearly been too late… in more ways than one. He just had to keep reminding himself that Abby was coming home with him, not staying in LA with Callen.

"She's an incredible woman, Gibbs, smart, sexy, sassy."

Gibbs shot him a look. "Ya think I don't know that?"

"Then don't screw it up this time, Gibbs."

"You giving me advice on women now, Callen?" Gibbs sounded amused.

Callen laughed. "With three ex-wives? Yeah, maybe I am. Look, you're the only man who I'd back off for. A woman like Abby doesn't come along too often in any man's life."

"I know," came the quiet acknowledgement. Gibbs didn't need any reminders that this was another chance at happiness and he wasn't going to make the same mistakes he made in his past three marriages… or he was going to try not to, anyway.

Callen's voice broke into his reverie. "But I gotta tell ya, Gibbs, if you hurt her, I'll not only kick your ass but I'll be there to pick up the pieces."

"Fair enough." They exchanged a look of perfect understanding.

Some time later, Abby rejoined them both, slipping in between the two men leaning over the railing, and muttering darkly about medical evaluations being a waste of time. They exchanged another amused glance over her head as they let her rant. All she wanted was to see Ducky… it was his medical opinion that she would listen to, not a stranger who'd never seen her before but who just happened to have a medical degree. She needed her friend, as well as her physician.

Hetty joined them. "We can leave most of the debrief for now, Abby, if you can let me have your report before the end of the week. I know you're both anxious to catch your plane."

"Sure thing, Hetty. I'm used to short deadlines and being put under pressure, my boss is a total ogre if we're late with paperwork," Abby replied, throwing a mischievous look over her shoulder at Gibbs, who turned his head away to hide his grin.

Hetty smiled and held Abby's hand in both of hers, "I'm so pleased you're okay, Abby. Take care of yourself."

Abby impulsively hugged Hetty, enfolding the smaller woman and almost swamping her, causing Callen to smile. It wasn't often he saw Hetty startled.

Abby turned to Gibbs with a smile. "Ready to go," he asked.

"Oh yeah, let's go home, Gibbs."

Callen drove them to the airport, feeling a sense of melancholy as he realized it would probably be a long time before he saw Abby again and when he did, she was likely to be a permanent feature of Gibbs' life.

He was under no illusions over the depth of feeling between the two of them.

Callen shook Gibbs' hand before he reached over to pull Abby into a hug and she didn't resist, wrapping her arms around him. When she pulled back, she saw the sadness on his face and immediately felt guilty that she'd been the one to put it there.

Cupping his face in both hands, she leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on his lips, whispering her goodbyes and promising to stay in touch. Callen kissed her back, before pulling away, smiling at her gently.

With a final wave, Callen got back in the car and drove away. Abby sighed and turned back to meet a raised eyebrow and an expression she could read all too well.

"Stop looking at me like that, Gibbs. You can't be feeling threatened, surely?"

He shook his head. "Not any more." He approached to brush his lips across her cheek and his next words were breathed into her ear in a low husky voice that sent a shiver down her spine. "When I take you to bed, Abbs, I guarantee you won't be thinking of G. Callen."

TBC…

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><p>AN: Hope I wasn't too mean to poor Eric or, more importantly, Callen. I've been a bit mean to him over preceding episodes, but I'm sure there are enough volunteers out there to soothe his fevered brow… although he might be a bit tired after I've finished comforting the gorgeous specimen :D


	12. Chapter 12: Going Home

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: Heading home finally, and Fornell is back (love that guy!). I'm also donating this chapter to the worthy cause of persuading Jo_R to write a Gabby one shot to tackle Franks' illness/coffin building. ;)

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 12 – Going home<strong>

_"When I take you to bed, Abbs, I guarantee you won't be thinking of G. Callen."_

Gibbs pulled back, smirked at her, pressed a quick, firm kiss to her lips and strode off to the checkout to deposit their bags.

Abby grinned at his retreating back as her imagination supplied more than a few images to match his words.

He'd been unusually passive this morning as she'd spent time with Callen. She'd yet to experience Gibbs' full on jealous side, other than that glimpse last night, and she suspected that it was only the fact that Callen was his friend and she'd discussed how she felt about the LA agent the night before, that had stopped him coming over all cave man and throwing her over his shoulder.

Not that that wouldn't be a fairly sizzling scenario…

As independent as she was, there was something very hot about someone as alpha male as Gibbs going all possessive.

Trying to shrug off the lingering melancholy from saying goodbye to Callen, she followed Gibbs to the checkout.

As they had more than an hour before boarding, Gibbs persuaded her that they should both think about lunch. He was concerned that she'd only eaten the bare minimum in the last 36 hours. Abby should be trying to eat more than she was, even if she was still battling occasional nausea. He grabbed her hand and pulled her into the nearest cafe. Abby rolled her eyes, knowing what he was doing but feeling too tired to argue.

After she'd taken more nausea pills, she picked at her food, wondering how to broach something she wanted to talk to him about. "You talked to Callen about the video footage," she eventually asked.

"Yeah. Not sure how much there'll be but Eric's gonna check." He studied her face, suspecting where she was going with this.

"I need to see it, Gibbs." She reached for his hand. "If I don't know what really happened while I was unconscious, then my imagination's going to supply the rest… and believe me, it's doing a pretty good job of that already."

"I know, Abbs." He ran his thumb across her hand. "Would be happier if you talked to Ducky first. Hell, I need to talk to Ducky."

"I will but you can't protect me from this, even though I know you want to." She didn't want to argue with him but needed to make him understand how important this was for her. "Did Callen tell you what I thought was on my clothes?"

"Yeah. Was waiting till you were ready to talk about it." He squeezed her hand, unsure how he could offer comfort.

"We both don't need to guess how the semen got there, do we?" She saw him shake his head, looking grim. "I just… I just need to know what he did to me before or after that… while I was unconscious."

"I need to know too." If this guy were still alive, Gibbs would want to kill him with his bare hands for ever laying a finger on her.

"I'm going to need you to get me through this."

"I'll try, Abbs." He reached out to brush a stray hair behind her ear, cupping her cheek, wishing they were alone so he could hold her again.

"Thanks for not pushing me… to talk, you know. I was gonna tell you… it's just…" she trailed off.

"Take whatever time you need."

"I'm not sure I can talk about it yet, Gibbs. I know I need to but I… I just don't know if I can." She looked down at their joined hands, feeling the warmth of his hand anchoring her.

"I know, Abbs. Let's get home. Talk to Ducky." He just wanted to get her back to DC and into familiar surroundings.

She glanced up, her gaze earnest. "Yeah, I need Ducky… I know they're gonna try and make me talk to some nameless shrink, Gibbs, but it's Ducky I need. Ducky and you and my friends."

Depending on what they found but already suspecting what they would, Gibbs thought that Ziva might know how best to help her. But he didn't want to put Ziva through it, although he knew that she would offer without hesitation. He needed to talk to her… after speaking to Ducky. He couldn't remember needing his old friend more.

Their flight was called and they made their way through onto the plane and settled into their seats, both thankful to be finally heading home. With the flight time and the time difference, it would be evening before they arrived. Gibbs had phoned Fornell and he was going to pick them up at the airport.

As soon as the flight took off, Abby opened her laptop.

"You sure you wanna do that now, Abbs?" he said, shifting to get comfortable with legroom that wasn't enough for his long legs.

"It'll pass the time on the flight, Gibbs." The report needed writing so she might as well start it now.

"So does sleeping."

"You might be able to fall asleep at the drop of a hat, but some of us need a comfy bed and an even comfier pair of arms." She smiled at him as he turned partly on his side so he could face her.

He smirked at her. "We'll see what we can do later."

"You make a very warm pillow." She resisted the urge to close the gap between them to taste him again but only just.

He read her intentions and tenderly ran his fingers down her cheek. "Stay with me, Abbs... even just for a few days. Let me look after you."

"Yeah, I'd like that." The thought of curling up in his house, the focus of his attention was a very comforting one.

He gave her a soft smile. "You ought to rest now."

"If I can just make a start on the report now, Gibbs, then there'll be less to do tomorrow," she explained. "I'd rather do it in bits when I'm feeling okay, which I am now than be forced to do it tomorrow, regardless of how I feel."

He nodded. "Okay." He didn't turn away but continued to gaze at her as if memorizing her face.

"You gonna sit there and watch me the entire time."

"Uh-huh."

"You realize how distracting that's gonna be, right?"

"Uh-huh."

Shaking her head at him as he gave her a lop-sided grin, she turned back to her laptop, acutely aware of the man beside her. If he didn't stop looking at her like that, she'd be tempted to drag him off so she could join the Mile High Club.

Abby tried to gather her thoughts into some sort of coherent order for the report and started writing. It was hard to put what she'd gone through in dispassionate language fit for an official report, but she figured that writing it down might also be helpful for her state of mind…. and it did need to be completed.

She was in an unusual position here of being both victim and scientist on the team.

As the nightmare had unfolded, she'd tried to engage the Phantom in conversation, seeking to gain as much information as she could. She may not have been a trained field agent, but she knew the drill and was determined not to give the bastard any satisfaction by showing how truly terrified she was.

Hearing him explain that he'd lured her to LA by posing as Mike 287 on her blog had truly appalled her. It meant that he'd been virtually… stalking her for months, she could think of no other word for it.

To think that he'd been right there all the time… what had she missed?

She remembered taking her courage in both hands, metaphorically speaking as she couldn't do anything with her limbs immobilized, and she'd tried to smooth the nut job's ego. Not knowing whether she was making a huge mistake trying to lure him closer, she at least could make an attempt to get some forensic evidence either on her or on him, even if she wasn't coming out of this one alive.

As terrifying as it was, she'd felt a sense of satisfaction when she'd tricked him and bitten his finger, finally getting a look at his face.

Her heart had chilled as she'd taken in sight of the bed and the camera, hearing him talk about watching her when he was at work. Fear had taken over then and it was a while before she realized that her bravado may only end up baiting him, provoking him to do something to her sooner rather than later.

Gibbs watched her face as she typed, seeing the concentration and emotion flit across it. She always had the most expressive face of anyone he knew and ordinarily he loved watching her, but this time he could almost see where she was in her story just by observing her expression.

He would have given anything to spare her this.

A sudden thought struck her, trivial as it was. "And he even got my age wrong."

Trust Abby to latch onto that. "Yeah, I heard him. By at least ten years." He snorted as she turned to glare at him. "I know your age, remember?.

She huffed at him, trying to look annoyed and only half succeeding. He continued, anything to distract her. "But you do look younger than you are."

She shook her head, amused at his 'save'. "Good answer, Gibbs."

Some time later, Abby eventually closed her laptop, flexing her fingers and easing her shoulders. She could feel the muscles stiffening again, not helped by the enforced sitting in one spot. She leaned her head against Gibbs' shoulder for the final hour and dozed.

Fornell waited in the arrivals lounge, eager to see them both. He'd only had the barest of information out of Gibbs earlier on and was keen to see Abby for himself to reassure himself that she really was okay.

He watched them approach and when they were within reach, he opened his arms and without hesitation, Abby walked straight into them, letting Fornell wrap his arms around her.

"You can turn the volume down on that glare, Gibbs. She's my friend and I was worried about her."

"Ignore him, Toby. He's just cranky coz the coffee on the plane sucked." She tossed a playful glance over her shoulder at Gibbs.

"At least if I can see his hands, he can't head slap me." Fornell held her at arm's length and took a good look at her tired face, seeing the dark circles and the strain she was trying to hide under her cheerful greeting.

"Don't bet on it, Tobias." Gibbs seemed to have spent most of the day fighting down an urge to head slap every man who got within hugging distance of Abby.

Abby looped her arm through Fornell's as they headed for his car, chatting about Emily.

"I'll just get the bags then, shall I?" came the good natured grumbling from behind them.

"You do it so well, Jethro," teased Fornell, earning him a giggle from the woman on his arm, a sound he thought he'd never hear again. As they reached his car, he opened the door for her. "You'll be glad to get home, Abbs."

Gibbs answered for her. "Going to my house."

Fornell grinned at him. "Really?"

"You can wipe that smirk off your face, _Toby._" Gibbs deposited the bags in the boot.

"Boys, play nice," Abby chided, unable to hide her amusement.

As Fornell drove them to Gibbs' house, they chatted idly, keeping the conversation light and Abby smiled as she let the familiar banter between the two old friends wash over her. Halfway through the journey, Gibbs asked, "You okay, Abbs?" twisting in his seat to look at her on the back seat, conscious she'd become very quiet.

Trust him to pick up on her change of mood. He was so attuned to her sometimes, it was positively spooky. "Just starting to feel a bit nauseous, Gibbs. I've just taken some pills but they seem to be taking longer to kick in this time."

"And?" he persisted, seeing her rubbing her arm.

"Pins and needles are back a bit. I think my muscles are just stiff from the flight." She sounded tired and exasperated.

When they pulled up outside his house, Gibbs saw that his car was back on the drive, looking in one piece still, despite being driven there by DiNozzo. Gibbs held open Abby's door and was the first to see her go white as she stood.

"Whoa…" her voice was shaky.

He caught her arms as she swayed. "Abbs?"

"Suddenly feel sick, Gibbs."

"Okay, I've got you." Gibbs wrapped his arm round her more firmly and helped her into the house.

Fornell grabbed their bags from the boot and followed them inside, kicking the door shut behind him. Gibbs was standing in the hallway with his arms round Abby rubbing her back gently as she leant heavily against him. He could feel her trembling slightly.

"You gonna be sick?" Gibbs asked gently.

Abby shook her head and drew back slightly, still looking pale. "No, it's fading. It just came over me as I got out of the car. Sorry."

"It's been a long day, Abbs, you've probably overdone it. Pins and needles bad still?" Gibbs asked.

Abby flexed her shoulders, grimacing. "A bit. The muscles just feel stiff."

Fornell dropped their bags by the stairs. "That won't have been helped by sitting on that plane."

Abby shivered. "I feel cold too, I can't seem to get warm."

Fornell suggested, "Maybe a hot bath would help… both for that and for your muscles?"

Gibbs rubbed her shoulders gently. "I'll go and run it. You go and sit down for a minute."

"If you've got any Epsom Salts, that might help the muscles." Fornell had had his fair share of pulled muscles over the years in the line of duty.

"Might have. I'll see what I can find." Gibbs tilted her face up to catch her eyes. "Then do you think you can face a sandwich?"

"Urgh," she couldn't help pulling a face as her stomach rolled in reaction, but saw Gibbs about to protest. "Okay, okay, I'll try. Hopefully the pills might have kicked in then."

Gibbs gestured with his head at Fornell, who put his arm round Abby and steered her into the living room, while Gibbs set off upstairs.

Fornell settled her on the couch, sat next to her and encouraged her to lean against his side. He pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and wrapped it round her, feeling her shivering gradually subside as she relaxed against him.

"I'm glad you're okay, Abby," he said into the comfortable silence.

"I was so scared, Toby. I thought I wasn't going to get out of there." She paused, remembering something Gibbs had mentioned earlier. "Gibbs told me you were on the plane and saw the video feed."

"Can't remember feeling so helpless for a very long time." He rubbed his hands gently up and down her back, trying to warm her.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," she looked up at him.

It was typical of her she'd be more concerned about others. "Was worried about Gibbs too. Never seen him so scared," he confided. "If anything had happened to you, Abbs, we'd have lost him too."

She still sometimes found it hard to believe how Gibbs felt about her. They'd only had a short time to talk last night and she hoped that things would calm down over the next few days and they could enjoy exploring this new found relationship.

"We all owe Callen and Sam a lot… me most of all."

"It wasn't the way I'd have wanted it to happen but I'm glad it made Gibbs pull his head out of his ass." He tightened his arms around her. "I'm glad you're together."

"That obvious, huh?" she smiled at him, touched that her friend was so pleased for them.

"Oh yeah. I mean I'm taking my life in my hands right this very minute. I hope you realize that," teased Fornell, smiling down at Abby.

"You done playing grab ass, Tobias?" came the deep voice from the doorway. Typically, neither had heard Gibbs coming down the stairs and he was now lounging against the doorframe, a half smile hovering.

"See what I mean?" Fornell whispered to Abby, as she laughed.

"Bath's ready, Abbs." She sat up and Fornell helped her to her feet, blanket still wrapped around her. Gibbs walked her to the hallway, arm around her waist, out of earshot of Fornell. "Will you be okay? Don't like the idea of you taking a bath on your own in case you feel dizzy."

"Gonna join me then?" Tired as she was, she couldn't pass up the opportunity to tease him, knowing full well he was going to come over all noble again.

Gibbs rolled his eyes, "Normally you wouldn't be able to stop me, but you're not well… remember?"

She looked up at him. "Yeah, I know… doesn't mean I'm not tempted."

"Me too, Abbs." He ran his hand down her arm to clasp her hand. "I've put your bag in my room. I'll bring a sandwich up shortly."

Abby nodded, giving him a wan smile. "Okay, don't feel quite so nauseous now so perhaps I should try and eat something."

Fornell came over. "If you feel faint while you're in the bath, just shout and we'll come up."

Gibbs raised his eyebrow, glaring at him. "Just shout and _I'll _be up, Abbs."

Abby snorted at the pretend face-off. "I'll be fine you two… behave. I'm just tired. Think I might go to bed straight afterwards."

Gibbs turned back to her. "Good idea."

Fornell nodded. "You should get as much rest as you can."

Abby looked from one to the other. "I see you've taken over from Callen as a substitute mother hen, Toby."

Gibbs cut in, "If ya think we're fussing, wait till ya see what DiNozzo has in store. Think he's planning a protective detail to rival the President's"

"Armed guard on a coffee run, eh?" asked Fornell.

"At the very least," shot back Gibbs, a half smile breaking out.

Fornell nodded, unable to keep a twinkle from his eyes. "Quite right too."

She shook her head, amused at the double act. "You two should go on the stage, you know that. Just leave this invalid to have a bath in peace, will ya?"

Gibbs ushered her towards the stairs. "I'll be up soon."

Abby gave him a soft smile and then turned to Fornell, "I'm so pleased to see you, Toby."

"I'm glad you're back, Abbs. You get some rest. I'll bring Emily by at the weekend if you feel up to it." He kissed her cheek.

"That would be great." Abby hesitated. "Does she know?"

Fornell shook his head. "No, I haven't told her anything other than that you've been in LA for a few days. She'd be too upset for her favorite aunt."

"Thanks. I don't want to upset her either but I'd love to see her."

Gibbs watched her climb the stairs before going into the kitchen, where he was joined by Fornell. "Got something to say, Tobias?" He knew that smirk.

"Other than it's about damn time, nope. Glad to see you've ignored your own rules for once."

"Abby's an exception to a lot of rules."

"I gathered." He leaned against the counter and looked over at his friend, seeing the tiredness and the stress on his face. "Seriously, Jethro, I'm really pleased for you both."

"Thanks." Gibbs sighed, glad to be home, feeling the strain of the past two days starting to drain away. "It's good to get her back."

Gibbs pulled two beers from the fridge and they drank in silence for a while before Fornell asked, "Where's this sickness coming from? Is that the drugs that bastard gave her?"

"Yeah, the stuff to knock her out is making her sick, and the crap that stopped her moving is causing the stiffness and pins and needles."

Fornell felt his anger rising again. "How long do they reckon before it's out of her system?"

"Not sure, a few days maybe. The more she rests, the better it'll be but…" Gibbs shrugged and set about making sandwiches.

"Huh, getting Abby to rest is like getting you to take it easy, Jethro, just about impossible."

"Yeah, I know." Gibbs figured he'd have more luck getting her to rest if he was here in the house too. He fully intended taking tomorrow and the rest of the weekend off… and into the following week if need be. Apart from anything else, they'd had little time to explore this new side of their relationship and while he had no intention of making a move while she was still feeling ill, just having her close would be enough for now.

"What else did he do to her?" Fornell asked. He shook his head when Gibbs offered him a sandwich. He needed to get going soon.

"Don't know yet." Gibbs replied, the anguish in his voice obvious to his friend.

"What about the video feed for during the night… before we tuned in live?" That thought had been rolling around in Fornell's head for most of yesterday and today.

"Yeah, that's the bit that worries me too. Eric's analyzing it."

"Makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it. I mean a guy doesn't go to all the trouble of getting a bed into a warehouse if he wasn't intent on using it. We heard him threaten her, Jethro." Fornell all but slammed his beer bottle down on the counter.

Gibbs hesitated as Fornell collected his coat and headed for the door.

He wasn't sure if Abby would want to share everything about her ordeal just yet, but he felt so out of his depth at the moment that he felt the need to confide in his friend. He knew it wouldn't go any further. Despite the amount of teasing he inflicted on Fornell, he knew the FBI agent cared about Abby and was just as protective of her as everyone else. "She says she found semen on her clothes"

Fornell paused with his hand on the door. "Oh, jeez… did that bastard rape her?"

"She says not and… I guess she'd know." They exchanged a glance, not needing any more words… two old friends who'd seen their share of horrors over the years but this time it was all too close to home.

As he left, Fornell put his hand on Gibbs' shoulder, "You need anything, Jethro, you know where I am." Gibbs nodded his thanks as his friend left.

* * *

><p>Upstairs, Abby tried to relax in the bath but the heat of the bathroom was making her feel nauseous again. She'd left the bathroom door ajar, partly for safety in case she did feel dizzy and also to let the heat dissipate. The hot water seemed to be helping her muscles though and she felt sure a night's sleep was exactly what she needed… if she wasn't plagued by nightmares again.<p>

She heard Gibbs enter the bedroom, calling out through the door if she was okay.

"I'm fine, Gibbs. I'm getting out in a minute. You can come in you know."

"You trying to kill me?" came the amused reply.

"It's nothing you're not going to see, hopefully sooner rather than later." Abby pulled herself out of the bath, wrapping herself in a warm towel.

"If I come in there, Abbs…" He paused, hearing her moving, swallowing hard at the mental image of her rising up out of the bath, water streaming over her. "It was difficult enough to control myself last night, seeing you in a bath is not going to help that."

She rolled her eyes at his chivalrous behavior but had to admit if the situation were reversed, she'd feel the same.

When she came out of the bathroom in her PJs, he was sitting on the bed sipping coffee and eating his sandwich. She couldn't help a smile breaking out at the sight… the first time she'd seen him sat on his bed.

She was gradually beginning a new store of memories for their relationship and that wasn't a bad one to start off with.

She'd spent the night in Gibbs' bed before but he'd always slept on the couch. Even if nothing happened tonight, at least it would be the first time they'd spent the night together in his bed.

He smiled at her as he made room for her to sit beside him and handed her a sandwich and a bottle of water. She huffed a protest at the lack of caffeine… yet again and he smothered his smirk at her reaction by sipping his coffee.

"Gonna take a shower. Try and eat, Abbs." He dropped a kiss on her bare shoulder as he headed for the bathroom.

She forced down the sandwich even though she didn't feel like it. She was thirsty though and made inroads into the bottle of water, curling up in bed when she'd finished. She took the same side of the bed as last night, hoping she'd guessed right as to the side Gibbs preferred.

Her nausea was back and she shivered, grabbing her spare pillow and clutching it to her stomach, curling round it and trying to warm her tummy and hug the sick feeling away.

As she heard the shower running, she was left with her own imagination to fill in the mental picture… again.

It wasn't long before he joined her and she was pleased to see that he was as shirtless as last night and wearing soft sweatpants. At least the view was pretty damn good even if she couldn't do anything about it.

As soon as he was under the covers, he scooted closer and spooned against her. She grabbed his hand as his arm came round her and put his warm hand against her stomach.

"Is it bad?" he asked gently.

"It just seems to react like this as soon as I eat. It'll pass soon… hopefully." The warmth of his large hand against her stomach and his chest against her back was comforting.

He pressed a soft kiss to her hair. "Try and sleep, Abbs."

She rolled over towards him. "I'm sorry, Gibbs."

"Hey." He propped himself on one arm and wrapped his arm fully around her, concerned at how tearful she looked. "You've nothing to be sorry about."

She reached up to run her fingers down his jaw. "When will I start to feel okay? I feel fine for a few hours and then I just feel sick and achy again."

He knew she hated being ill and was only slightly less cranky as a patient than he was. "It's been barely 48 hours, Abbs. You gotta rest." He leaned his head down to nuzzle into her cheek, resting his head on the pillow beside her. "I know you're frustrated."

She couldn't help an exasperated laugh escaping her. "Huh, you can say that again." Oh, if only she felt better, she'd have jumped his bones by now. This was beyond frustrating.

He snorted, knowing full well what she meant. "I meant from feeling sick."

"Yeah, I know. It's just… do you have any idea how much I want you?" She wriggled round to face him, feeling herself drowning in his close presence.

His reply was fervently muttered. "Oh yeah, about as much as I want you." He kissed her lightly and quickly and then pulled her close, wrapping arms and legs around her. If he couldn't make love to her tonight, at least he could have her as near as possible.

Abby sighed as she relaxed against him. "This isn't how I imagined ending up in your bed for the first time, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know." She felt his hands run gently up and down her spine, managing to be both soothing and promising at the same time. "We've plenty of time to make some new memories in this bed, Abbs."

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><p>AN: I was _really_ tempted to break this chapter into two but I'd promised Bamacrush that they'd be home in Gibbs' house and in his bed by the end of the next chapter, and she'd kill me if I didn't. So here they are. Happy now, girl? Oh… you wanted more? Oops *grin*


	13. Chapter 13: Declaration

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: the site is still not letting me reply direct to reviews so apologies if I've missed anyone. I appreciate each and every one, thanks. Just a short ticking over chapter… and I'm already putting on my crash helmet in anticipation… *evil grin*

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><p><strong>Chapter <strong>**13 – Declaration**

Warmth.

That was the first thing Abby registered when she woke the next morning.

Warmth around her, beneath her, on top of her.

The familiar scent of the body she was snuggled against and feel of the arms around her told her the warmth was caused by a wrap-around Gibbs. When they were standing and fully clothed, his full body hugs always felt wonderful. Lying down in his bed with them both half naked, it was intoxicating.

She felt so comfortable and so safe, she wished they could stay here all day, cocooned under the comforter.

"I can hear you thinking, Abbs," came an amused rumble from beneath her cheek.

"I could stay here all day." She rubbed her cheek on his chest like a contented cat.

"Me too. How d'ya feel?" When she didn't answer, he tilted her head up forcing her to meet his concerned gaze.

She grimaced and sighed, "A bit sick… again."

She'd managed most of the night without nightmares, only waking once, jerked awake with the image of the Phantom with axe raised vivid in her mind. Gibbs had held her again, soothing her with his hands and she'd drifted off into an undisturbed sleep. At least the nightmare had been about a real event this time, not an imagined inability to breathe like the night before.

"Gonna try some breakfast?" Gibbs was conscious of just how little she'd eaten since even before she was kidnapped.

"I guess," came the less than enthusiastic response. "You gonna cook it for me?"

"Thinkin' about it," his hands rubbing in soothing circles over her back.

After a few minutes lying there in comfortable silence, Abby asked, "Can we pick up some more clothes from my apartment this morning?"

Shrugging, "Sure."

She raised her head and propped herself up on his chest. "I'd also like to go into the Navy Yard and see everyone today."

He frowned, concerned she was going to overdo things on her first full day back in DC. "I'm sure they'd love to see you but you sure you're up for it?"

"Yeah, I really want to see everybody. I've missed them all." She paused. "I also wanna see what that temp has done to my babies."

That earned her a laugh. "Yeah, I thought you might."

She swatted his chest, chuckling. "I also wanna collect some stuff from my lab. I know I'm not gonna be allowed back to work yet."

"Not till the pysch eval clears you, you know how it works, Abbs." It was a side of his job that he too hated about being on sick leave. He always fretted about the restrictions placed on him and Abby was enough like him in that respect to rebel against anything that stopped her from returning to her beloved lab.

Forensics was as much a vital part of her life as being a field agent was an essential part of his.

"I know, Gibbs, but I'll go mad if I can't work." She rolled onto her side and propped her head on her hand to look at him. "So if I'm not allowed in my lab, I've got to do something. I've got several papers I'm writing and another one I'm editing. If I download them onto my laptop, I can work on them here."

He nodded. "Good idea." He picked up her other hand, lacing their fingers together.

Abby looked down at their joined hands, enjoying the feel of his calloused fingers. "I also have a selfish motive for wanting to go in and see everyone this morning." He looked at her questioningly. "If we don't go in today, everyone's gonna come by later after work to see me. Don't get me wrong, I really want to see everyone. I love those guys dearly and I feel really mean for saying this… but I'd quite like you to myself later."

"Sounds good." He shuffled over onto his side and pulled her down into the circle of his arm.

Abby snuggled closer again, seeming to fit to his side as she were measured for it. "We haven't spent much time alone together or been able to talk much in the last couple of days, apart from that first evening."

"I know." He didn't like it any more than she did. All he wanted to do was shut out the world and explore this oh-so-new side of their relationship. But circumstances had worked against them.

"And with me still feeling yuk, I feel like we've been… almost on hold ever since we talked about how we feel." She gave him a shy smile. "So I guess I'm feeling a bit selfish."

"Me too, Abbs. I just want to hole us up in here and not come out for days." He brushed her tousled hair off her forehead, loving this just woken up look she had. He was gradually adding more images to his mental catalogue of favorite Abby looks.

She smiled at him slowly. "Then let's go say hello and then do exactly that."

The sexy smile he gave her was full of promise and he wrapped both arms around her again, running his hands slowly up and down her spine, feeling a shiver go through her.

She loved the fact that the physical ease they already had with each other in their friendship was now extending so unselfconsciously to their relationship. Plus the fact that she couldn't keep her hands off him… and that was before they'd had sex. She suspected she might need a straightjacket in order to behave herself once they had.

Lying quietly together again, she felt herself starting to doze again before she heard his quiet question. "How d'ya muscles feel?"

"Not too sure yet given that I haven't moved much, except to snuggle closer." She nuzzled into his neck just to prove her point. His neck was another part of him she could become addicted to… along with his hands… and his lips… and his…

_Yeah, okay, Scuito, I get the picture… all of him__… just as soon as you stop feeling hinky_.

His arms tightened involuntarily around her at the feel of her breath on his neck. "Perhaps later this evening we ought to try what the nurse suggested?"

That brought her head up, a mischievous smile breaking out. "Are you offering me another hot massage?"

He grinned. "Might be."

"Is this for medicinal purposes only?" Abby tilted her head to one side, loving the sparkle in his eyes.

"Maybe."

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><p>For the first time in days, Abby found herself not only enjoying a meal, the breakfast of eggs he cooked for her, but it wasn't followed by the familiar rolling nausea which had been the aftermath of everything else she'd eaten lately. Her muscles did still feel stiff but the pins and needles this morning seemed less, so maybe the drugs were finally clearing her system.<p>

Perhaps it was progress at last.

After they'd eaten, Gibbs drove them to Abby's apartment. As he followed her into the lobby of her apartment building, he heard her curse.

"Oh rats, look at this, Gibbs." Abby waved a notice at him which had been pinned to the mailboxes. "The heat's out… again. And at least a week before it can be repaired."

"One of these days, Abbs, you're gonna move out of this crappy building." He'd been trying to persuade her to move out of this building and away from this neighborhood for years.

She rolled her eyes at the familiar argument. "I've told you before, the rent's cheap. Looks like you're stuck with me for at least a week, Gibbs, sorry."

He tugged on a pigtail and leaned in for a kiss, smirking at her. "I'd hardly call that stuck. More like a bonus."

While she sent Gibbs into her kitchen to pack any perishables from her fridge and cupboards that she'd forgotten before her trip to LA, she headed into her bedroom to pack a case. As she grabbed some clothes, she selected a few items from the more interesting end of her underwear drawer, her thoughts straying to the two nights she'd spent in Gibbs' arms… sleeping.

On the many, many occasions she'd imagined them together in bed, sleeping was very far down the list of things they did. And yet sleeping was all they'd done so far… that and kissing and cuddling, which she was hardly likely to object to but she wanted more… much, much more.

Of course it was all her fault… okay, strictly speaking, it was the Phantom's fault but that was just semantics.

Abby knew why Gibbs was holding back. He was such a gentleman and she loved him for it but oh god, it was frustrating.

She knew what he tasted like.

She knew what his skin felt like.

She knew what it was like to be held by his strong hands and cradled by his arms.

Now she desperately wanted to know what he felt like inside her.

She wanted those rough hands and long fingers running over her skin, exploring her and driving her crazy. She wanted that mouth, those lips and tongue running over her skin. She wanted that deep voice growling in her ear.

_Oh god, will you stop it Scuito._

She was wound up enough already without her imagination running wild.

She loved tender caring Gibbs but also wanted to know the powerful, dominant Gibbs… especially in bed. She wanted the heated promise behind those arrogant words whispered into her ear at the airport.

She had a feeling there was enough passion sizzling under that gorgeous surface to set fire to the mattress.

If he didn't make a move soon, she'd have to take matters into her own hands… or take something into her hands at least.

Mentally head slapping herself as her mind supplied the pictures to go with _that_ thought, she shook herself out of her fantasy and left the room. She dumped her case in the hall alongside the bags he'd packed and joined him in the living room.

"Ready, Gibbs?"

"Yup," he moved towards her. "Been thinking, Abbs. We could ask Tony and McGee to move your TV and DVD player over to my house while you're staying?"

He laughed as she looked at him, incredulous. "You're actually volunteering to have a huge, super-duper, modern bit of TV kit in your house? Are you feeling okay, Gibbs?"

He shrugged, chuckling, "Thought it might help you pass the time… when I let you out of the bedroom of course."

She grinned at his comment and moved to go past him. "Wow, it must be love."

Before she could react, he'd caught her arm and crowded her against the wall, hands cupping her face gently, staring at her intently. "It is, Abbs."

_Oh…._

She searched his eyes, heart soaring at the emotions she could see there. "It is?"

"Yeah." He nodded, brushing his thumbs across her cheeks. "Just realized I hadn't told you that yet."

Abby rubbed her cheek into his touch and slid her arms round his waist, relishing the solid feel of him against her. "You know I don't need grand declarations, Gibbs. It's you I want… it's you I love, just as you are. You don't need to be something you're not with me, you know that."

She felt her pulse rate hike at the slow smile that spread across his face. "How did I get so lucky, Abbs? You could have any man you want."

Did he really not know what effect he had on her, even now? Did he really doubt how she felt about him? "Don't want anyone else… just you."

He took a deep breath and leaned his forehead against hers, sliding his hands over her hips. "You know how crap I am at this, Abbs, at tryin' to find the right words."

"Well, from where I'm standing, you're doing just fine." She cupped his cheeks, searching his blue eyes, trying to reassure him. "Show me how you feel if that's easier?"

Gibbs smiled. _Oh yeah, that he could do._

He lowered his head and brushed his lips gently across hers, tracing their outline with his tongue. Abby responded immediately and opened her mouth, allowing him to deepen the kiss. She groaned into his mouth at the feeling of his tongue sliding inside. She raised her hands to thread her fingers through his silver hair, scraping her nails over the short hairs on the nape of his neck, feeling him moan.

Pressed up close, she could feel his reaction and she felt a surge of longing go through her. Arching her back and pushing her hips against his growing hardness, she felt his hands slide round her back and pull her even closer.

Gibbs left nipping kisses along the line of her jaw to the skin under her ear, suckling on her neck, hearing her breathing hitch.

She grabbed his head and brought it back up so she could kiss him again, pouring everything she felt into her kiss. Her heart pounded as he finally kissed her back as she'd imagined he would… completely dominating her mouth in an intense hungry kiss that made her head spin.

At last… was the only thought her brain could manage.

And just then Gibbs' cell started to ring…

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><p>AN: Oops, where did that interruption come from? *ducks large, heavy flying objects which seem to be thrown with increasing accuracy lately*


	14. Chapter 14: Annoying Interruptions

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: I seem to be amassing an interesting collection of thrown shoes over here, and oh look, a piano and a wombat arrived too… that's nice ;) Patience… patience… they are heading for bed… at some point… on this day… promise!

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><p><strong>Chapter <strong>**14 – Annoying Interruptions**

_And just then Gibbs' cell started to ring…_

They were so lost in each other that it took a few moments before the sound of the phone registered. Reluctantly pulling back from the kiss, Gibbs leaned his forehead against Abby's, trying to calm down and cursing inwardly at the interruption.

Abby too fought to catch her breath, groaning. "I just don't believe it. I swear to God it's a conspiracy."

Gibbs had to agree with her, rolling his eyes as he flipped open the phone, running his hand through his hair in frustration and snapping as he answered, "Yeah, Gibbs." He brushed his fingers along her jawline and his face relaxed as he registered the voice on the other end. "Hey, Duck."

He smiled at her and she pecked him on the cheek as she left the room. He watched her move away and continued. "Yeah, we're on our way in now."

Abby headed for the bathroom to finish packing a few things and to give him privacy to talk to Ducky. It took her a few minutes to find everything she wanted and when she came back, wondering if they were going to pick up where they left off, she was conscious that his face now looked more… guarded was the only way she could describe it.

He didn't say anything more but picked up her case and a couple of bags. Abby sighed and hefted the remaining bags, following him down to the car where they loaded everything inside. She decided to leave her hearse at her apartment, she could always collect it next week.

Abby turned to him as he opened her door, uncertainty creeping into her voice. "Are you okay, Gibbs?"

He reached up to cup her face with his hand. "Yeah, Abbs, just a bit frustrated from earlier. Ducky's call was bad timing."

She gave him a soft smile. "Me too. Just as long as it's nothing else?" She looked down, unable to meet his gaze in case she saw something there she didn't want to see. "You're not regretting anything, are you… about what we said… or what we did just now?"

Before she could continue, he'd crowded her against the side of the car and bent his head to give her a lingering, teasing kiss which made her pulse rate hike.

When Gibbs drew back, he gave her a lazy smile, "That answer your question, Abbs?"

She couldn't help a slow answering smile spreading across her face. "I think so."

"Only thing I regret is being interrupted." He hoped that would allay her concerns for the moment.

"What was Ducky calling about?" she asked, searching his eyes.

Kicking himself for drawing her attention to the call, he held her gaze, knowing he was about to lie, "Just checking we were comin' in. He's eager to see you. They all are."

There was more to it than that, Abby was sure of it but she knew that pushing him for an answer wouldn't work. Whatever they'd talked about, the call from Ducky had changed his mood. So she dropped it… for now. "Then let's go. The sooner we get there, the sooner we can go home again."

Feeling warmed that she would so readily refer to his house as home, he ushered her into the car and they set off for the Navy Yard.

Abby glanced across at him as he drove, still wondering what was bothering him. Despite the implicit promise behind that last kiss and his reassuring words, Abby knew that Gibbs found it difficult articulating his feelings. She was scared that he felt she'd somehow forced him into opening up… in the heat of the moment.

He was too quiet. Well, he was _always_ quiet but quieter than normal. It looked like he'd retreated behind his usual mask, when even she found it difficult to read him.

Gibbs could sense her glances and saw how she fidgeted in her seat, a sure sign she was nervous or worried. She was bound to have picked up on his change of mood.

She knew him too well.

After the electric few minutes in her apartment where he tried to convey in actions what he found so hard to express in words, his only thought had been how far was it to the bedroom or whether the couch was nearer.

The call from Ducky had sobered him up… fast.

The ME was calling with the news that Callen had sent over the footage from the video feed covering the hours before Abby regained consciousness. Eric had examined the rest of the video from the Phantom's computer, isolating the relevant sections.

Gibbs was grateful that Callen had acted with discretion, as always, and had called Ducky direct. He knew Callen would try to protect Abby within the limits of what he could do with the evidence, doing his best to limit who saw the video, both in LA and DC. Before anybody else saw it, Ducky was going to take a look. One comforting thing Callen had told Ducky was that it wasn't rape, thank god… but neither was it pleasant.

The thought of what that bastard might have done to his Abby had acted like a bucket of cold water thrown over him.

So he dealt with the surge of strong emotion in the way he usually did… by retreating and pushing them down behind a barrier. It was the way he always coped. He just hoped that Abby wasn't now worried that he was somehow withdrawing from her after what they'd shared in her apartment.

He felt as frustrated as she did that they'd been interrupted just at that moment. Gibbs wanted to get them both into bed as much as Abby did. She wasn't the only one to find the last couple of days frustrating, to say the least. He'd found it difficult to hold back, struggling with his self control, trying to keep his hands mostly to himself.

He wanted nothing more than to take her to his bed and make love to her, worship her, explore every inch of that gorgeous body… and move this new and precious relationship forward.

Knowing how she felt about him and spending the past two nights in bed with her… especially last night in his own bed… had been both wonderful and complete torture. He'd loved having her sleep so trustingly in his arms and was thankful he'd been there when she'd been woken by her nightmares.

Keeping himself under a tight rein when she was so soft and warm and pliant in his arms had been… hell. His body had been shouting its protest at him… wanting much, much more than just holding Abby, especially as she smelled so damn good last night straight from the bath.

But he was not a man to put pressure on any woman when they were recovering from an ordeal. Nor was he someone who'd want sex if she was still feeling ill. He wanted Abby to be feeling physically better before they made love. Despite feeling like a randy teenager at the moment, he hoped he had more self control than that… he'd wait for whenever Abby was ready.

She seemed to be feeling better this morning and he was hatching a plan.

Once they'd got back to his house, he'd try and persuade her to rest again… suspecting she might fight him on that. But he reckoned that she would be feeling more tired than she'd anticipate after the visit to the Navy Yard and an understandably emotional reunion with the team. Then he was planning dinner and if she still felt okay, he'd follow that up with the massage he'd promised her.

And finally he was going to take her to bed and keep them there until neither of them could move.

He wanted this woman with an intense hunger he couldn't remember for a very long time, and it wasn't just the frustration of the situation. He was sure of that. He loved her, he'd nearly lost her and it was time to show her how he felt… both physically and mentally.

There was also a possessive streak in him that wanted to erase the memory of any other man's touch… and in particular, obliterate the thought of the Phantom's hands on her body… if he could.

He just had to keep repeating Ducky's words that it wasn't rape… it was the only way he could stay calm. But he knew there was a whole array of horrors that might make up what happened before that. Whatever the Phantom had done, his semen was on Abby's clothes and when he thought about how that was likely to have happened, he felt an almost blinding rage.

He knew he had to see the footage for himself, however difficult that would be.

Whether Ducky thought it would be okay for Abby to see it was another matter. He couldn't say anything in her apartment for fear she'd overhear him but when he saw the ME, he had to discuss it with him.

Gibbs' instinct was to not let her anywhere near it but he recognized that was his protective side coming out… his urge to shield her from everything. He needed Ducky. Not only would his friend know what was best for Abby but Gibbs knew that she would be more likely to listen to Ducky's opinion. She'd made it plain that she wanted to know what the Phantom had done to her while she was unconscious… how important it was to her. But was what she wanted wise for her?

Knowing what the Phantom had done and actually seeing it were two different things.

He tried to pull himself out of his grim thoughts as he navigated the morning traffic. Gibbs was concerned how quiet Abby was during the journey. She was staring out of the car window, lost in thought. "You okay, Abbs?"

Her next words startled him. "This was a day he never meant me to see."

He glanced over to see how miserable she looked. He cursed himself for being too lost in his own thoughts and not paying enough attention to her to pick up her change in mood. Hurriedly looking for a place to pull over, he pulled into a side street and turned to her, grasping her hand. "Abbs?"

She turned to face him, eyes suspiciously bright. "I was just thinking, Gibbs, how close I came to never seeing this place again, never seeing you again… or seeing everyone again, never seeing my lab again." She gripped his hand tightly and he saw a tear slip free. "That struck me last night when we arrived at your house but then I felt so bad, the thought slipped away. It crossed my mind just now… as we were driving along, looking at these familiar streets, thinking about where we're going. These were all things the Phantom never meant me to see again. That's a scary thought, Gibbs."

He tugged her towards him and tried to hold her as best he could from this awkward angle, his heart aching for her. "Oh, Abbs. You'll torture yourself if you start thinking like that. You survived and he's dead. Try and focus on that."

"I know and I am… really I am." She looked up at him, green eyes shimmering and he felt another surge of rage at the man who'd done this to her. "It's just that it suddenly hit me just how much I nearly lost."

Swallowing past the sudden lump in his own throat, "I know, Abbs."

"Sorry, I know I shouldn't get maudlin, Gibbs. I should be celebrating, shouldn't I?"

"And you will, we both will." He brushed his lips against her temple and buried his nose in her hair, trying to reassure her with his presence alone… it was all he had to offer.

"There's such a lot to celebrate," Abby leaned against him, "not least that we're together and I couldn't be happier about that, Gibbs, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, Abbs. I feel the same. But you've been through a lot the last few days. You can't expect to shrug it off just like that, it's gonna take time." He wasn't sure how much extra time it was going to take after dealing with this video footage, but it was hardly going to speed up her healing.

She sounded resigned, "I know."

"Are you sure you're up for this, Abbs? We could go home and you can see everyone another day." He wanted nothing more than to turn the car round, go home and lock them both away.

She gave him a soft smile. "No, it's okay. I really want to go in, I want to see everyone. I'm sure I'll feel okay when I get there. Come on, let's go and say hello and then we can go home."

TBC…

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><p>AN: Okay, am now starting to introduce an issue which we knew was coming sooner or later. Hope you'll bear with me. Thanks to Bamacrush and Zivacentric for lending their ears and giving me very valuable feedback as I tried to thrash out how best to deal with this.


	15. Chapter 15: Family Reunion

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: Back with the team and continuing with the video footage issue. Stick with me… there will be light at the end of this angst tunnel. And there's a tiny bit in here that made me think of ncislove… can't think why? ;)

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><p><strong>Chapter 15 – <strong>**Family Reunion**

When Abby had recovered sufficiently, they finished the journey in a comfortable silence. Gibbs kept his hand wrapped round Abby's as much as possible while driving. When they pulled into the Navy Yard, he gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile and pressed a gentle kiss to her knuckles. She looked more at ease than earlier and he hoped that seeing the team again would help her mood.

They were as much her family now as they were his.

Abby returned his smile, squeezing his fingers. Gibbs was being so tender and caring with her. He always had been whenever she was upset, but there was an extra dimension of intimacy to it now that she loved and found herself leaning on more and more.

She regretted breaking down in the car but it had suddenly overwhelmed her how close she'd come to losing her life. Abby hated this see-saw of emotions and moods that were taking her over at the moment. She just wanted to enjoy some time with Gibbs, get back to work and put this nightmare behind her.

As they walked across the parking lot, there was more of her normal bounce to her step. Abby felt Gibbs' hand firmly in the small of her back as they entered the foyer.

"Hey, Henry, did you miss me?" She greeted the tall security guard on duty with her usual exuberance.

Her bright smile was echoed by Henry's own as the gentle giant stood up from behind the desk. Abby was a firm favorite with Security and Gibbs knew that they took special care to see her safely to her car if she was working late, and kept an eye on her if she arrived at so e ungodly hour of the morning.

"Abby! Welcome back. We missed you." Henry suddenly looked sheepish as he retrieved something from a drawer. "Um… we all got you a little welcome back present."

Gibbs had to bite his cheek to prevent a smile at the sight of the huge man standing there holding a small teddy bear sporting a T-shirt with a skull and crossbones design. Although he suspected it was more likely to be Rachel, Henry's colleague, who'd actually bought the bear and Henry had just drawn the short straw in being on duty to hand it over. Although he probably didn't see it as the short straw in view of what happened next.

Abby launched herself at him with a squeal. Henry was one of the few men in the building who didn't stagger under a full force of an Abby attack hug, and he wrapped his own arms around her in a bear hug, lifting her clean off the ground.

Babbling her thanks, she gave Henry a smacking kiss on his cheek which left an imprint of dark lipstick on his face. Gibbs exchanged a nod with Henry, trying to keep a straight face, as he and Abby moved to the elevator.

"Oh, Gibbs, wasn't that sweet? I was only gone a few days." She chuckled as she practically bounced on the balls of her feet and he could see that a bit of her sparkle was back.

"Everyone was worried about you." He eyed the bear she was cuddling "Won't Bert be jealous?"

She giggled and whacked him on the arm. Gibbs flipped the emergency stop switch and slipped his other hand round the back of Abby's neck to pull her close.

"It's good to hear that laugh again, Abbs." It was the giggle that could raise the hairs on the back of his neck and send a shiver down his spine.

"I just want to feel normal again, Gibbs."

"You will." He pressed a soft kiss to her mouth, as much to comfort himself for what lay ahead as much as anything else.

She sighed as he pulled slowly back. "Well, that's one elevator fantasy ticked off then."

Gibbs laughed. "How many have you got?"

"For the elevator? Oh… heaps." She flashed him a cheeky grin as she reached up to wipe lipstick off his mouth and then turned back to face the doors again. "Do you think the maintenance guys took the opportunity of you being away to overhaul the lift? They'll probably end the day crying into their coffee once word spreads that you're back."

He shot her a look which was met with another giggle. He pulled one of her pigtails, delighted to hear her teasing again, before flipping the switch to complete the ride.

As they emerged into the bullpen, he saw his agents busy at their desks but knew it wouldn't be long before one of them spotted Abby's distinctive figure approaching.

Predictably, DiNozzo was the first.

Leaping to his feet, he'd covered the distance to them in seconds and her cry of "Tony" was barely out of her mouth before he'd grabbed her, folding her up in his arms. It wasn't often she was on the receiving end of one of her own bone crushing hugs. Gibbs stood to one side as he watched his senior agent's face as he closed his eyes in relief at having his friend back.

"Tony, I can't breathe," came Abby's breathless voice a few seconds later.

"Oh, sorry, Abbs… did I hurt you?" He released her and had the grace to look mortified.

"No, you big lummox." Abby whacked him on the shoulder, grinning.

"Let me look at you." DiNozzo moved her pigtail and tilted her head to see the fading bruise on her neck where the killer had injected her as he snatched her from the club parking lot. "Does that still hurt?" Gibbs saw his jaw clench and knew how he felt.

Rolling her eyes at him, she told him. "Stop fussing, Tony. It's fading, it'll be gone in a few days."

"Anywhere else hurt, Abbs?" DiNozzo wouldn't be deflected.

Laughing at yet another mother hen impersonation from the men in her life, she replied. "No, Tony. I'm fine… really."

Exchanging a glance with Gibbs over Abby's shoulder, Tony suspected that her "fine" was the equivalent of Gibbs saying the same thing when he was trying to play down an injury.

Abby turned to greet Ziva who was approaching with a wide smile on her beautiful face. It was a measure of Ziva's worry for her friend that she initiated a hug. "Abby, welcome home. "She held Abby at arm's length, examining her face closely.

"I'm really pleased to see you too, Ziva. I hope the boys have been behaving themselves."

"Not that I have noticed," Ziva played along, sensing Abby's mood and ignoring DiNozzo's snort of protest. "What about the drugs, Abby? Are they out of your system now?"

Trust Ziva to cut straight to the chase.

Abby was resigned to probably having to answer the same questions several times over before the morning was out. "Still felt a bit nauseous and stiff this morning, Ziva, but I'm much better than I was and right this minute I can't feel anything at all. I'm ready to resume Caf!Pows before I go completely cold turkey."

Gibbs saw McGee approach almost cautiously. He knew Tim had suffered a great deal having to watch Abby on that video feed. He suspected that his young agent still harbored feelings for Abby. He just hoped that McGee hadn't viewed the close shave as his own wake-up call and was about to try and rekindle their relationship.

He watched as Abby smiled brightly at Tim, throwing her arms around him. Gibbs saw Tim close his eyes and bury his face in Abby's neck, pulling her as close as possible. Gibbs knew it was churlish to feel his hackles rise at such obvious concern. He didn't want to hurt McGee, but neither did he want him to think that the field was now open again.

News travelled fast of Abby's arrival and there was soon a steady trickle of agents and staff from elsewhere in the building arriving in the bullpen, bearing cards, gifts, and hugs in equal measure. Gibbs looked on, slightly concerned at seeing her surrounded, alert to any sign that she was finding this all a bit overwhelming.

Abby looked a bit taken aback at being greeted by so many people but soon lost herself in hugs and greetings from her friends. She hadn't expected such a warm welcome, hoping to just sneak in, say hello to the team, collect a few things from her lab and leave with Gibbs as quickly as possible.

It was wonderful to be made to feel so cared for but this was going to take forever.

In a gap between greetings, Gibbs managed to catch her eye and signed, _Are you okay?_

She smiled at him but he could see the strain starting to show on her face as she signed back, _Fine, stop worrying._

Gibbs shrugged and signed _Force of habit. Tell me if this is too much._

Abby shook her head. _It's wonderful. _She paused and then continued, _Love you._

Unable to suppress a smile, Gibbs signed the sentiment back to her.

Ducky watched the interaction from the sidelines with a fond smile. He'd arrived in the squadroom to see them but had held back, wanting to talk to Gibbs privately. As always when Gibbs and Abby lost themselves in sign, they seemed oblivious to anyone else. Ducky himself only knew a few words of sign, ones that Abby had taught him over the years, but he knew that last one they'd both used.

He'd seen them use it before but somehow this time, in full view of everyone, it looked more… intimate.

He'd seen the pair arrive, Gibbs doing his usual impersonation of Abby's protective shadow. They were always hyper aware of each other but there was something subtly different about them this time.

They looked… a couple.

It was a description that suddenly popped into Ducky's head and suddenly seemed fitting. He couldn't have put his finger on what was subtly different about them but the re was something, which was… intriguing.

If that meant that their relationship had changed, then he'd be delighted. He'd suspected the feelings both Gibbs and Abby were suppressing for each other for some time, and had hoped that this latest scare would have been the catalyst to bring that out in the open. They needed each other and deserved some happiness together.

And in view of what Ducky had just witnessed on that video feed, Abby would certainly need Jethro more now than ever.

Word must have reached him through his secretary or perhaps he heard the commotion from his office but Director Vance soon appeared on the top level, watching Abby with a small smile on his face before descending to the squadroom and approaching his forensic scientist.

"Abby, welcome back." Vance reached out to shake Abby's hand, holding it in both of his own. "How are you feeling?"

"Thank you, Director. I'm feeling much better, thank you." Gibbs smiled to himself at her reply. Abby had managed to get away with calling the Director by his Christian name before, but usually stuck to the formality of his title in public to ease the poor man's discomfort.

Abby was one of the few people who could disrupt the man's poker face.

Vance continued. "Despite what happened, I've heard only good reports of your work from Hetty and Callen."

"That's kind of them." Abby looked embarrassed. "But if I come to you in future, Director, with plans to either go to LA for any reason or with evidence of a serial killer and suggestions that I help in the investigation, please have my lab locked down so I can't get out."

Gibbs suspected she was only half joking. He suspected he'd heard a fairly revealing comment about another aspect of her self confidence that had taken a knock through this. It was something else he needed to talk to Ducky about.

Vance was firm. "As tempting as that might be, Abby, you did solve 15 murders and helped to apprehend a serial killer which had gone unnoticed for two years. For that, you should be proud of yourself, as this agency is."

Abby looked slightly taken aback at such public praise. "Thank you, Director."

"There's no need to rush back to work." Abby looked dismayed at his words. "You'll be taking next week off and an appointment's been scheduled for you to see the psych eval team on Wednesday and after that, we can review when you can come back." Vance's tone told her that it was not a suggestion.

Abby's face fell, "I'd very much like to come back to work as soon as possible."

"I know you do, but you also know the drill. Pysch evals are mandatory not optional." Vance's voice softened, "I'm sure it won't be too long, Abby. No one likes having a temp in your lab, including I suspect the temp himself once Agent Gibbs is back in the building." That earned him a ripple of laughter.

Gibbs saw Dr Mallard approaching out of the corner of his eye and joined his friend in a quieter corner where they could talk privately but still see Abby. Ducky's face was grim and strained and Gibbs could see the anger shimmering in his friend's eyes. "I'm glad that bastard's dead, Jethro, or I'd be on a plane right now to finish him off myself."

Ducky very rarely let his anger take over and Gibbs' stomach tightened at the thought of what had caused such a reaction. "How bad is it?" He had to know but dreaded the answer.

Ducky took a deep breath and made a visible effort to calm down. "Callen was right. It's not rape but it's very unpleasant." He looked round to make sure no one could overhear them. "He touches her, Jethro, runs his hands over her. If you can view it as a positive, she is at least still clothed when he does so. Then he… "Ducky paused and Gibbs could see him struggling for control.

He knew Ducky had seen enough examples of man's inhumanity to man in his years as an ME but it was somehow worse when it was their Abby.

"He masturbates over her… I suppose we could have guessed that, given the semen on her clothes but it doesn't make it any easier to have confirmed or… to watch, Jethro." Ducky glanced over at where Abby was in mid hug with yet another agent. "If it's any comfort, he's not touching her when he does it... the semen on her clothes is almost... incidental. I keep telling myself she was unconscious throughout and that we should be thankful for that. It could have been a lot worse."

Gibbs felt his hands clenching into fists and closed his eyes as he fought for his own control. He'd suspected the latter and feared the former, but didn't know how far it had gone… especially dreading that the Phantom had stripped her. It was some small comfort at least that he hadn't, although Gibbs still felt an urge to tear the bastard limb from limb for ever laying a finger on his Abbs.

As Ducky said, if the Phantom hadn't been dead, he'd be joining a long queue of people who were going to make damn sure he was.

"Have you got the footage?" asked Gibbs, keen to get this over with now he knew the worst.

Ducky handed him a flash drive, "Are you sure you want to put yourself through this, Jethro?"

"Don't want to see it, Duck, but I need to."

Ducky sighed and nodded, understanding the difference immediately. "Do you want me to go with you?" he offered.

Gibbs shook his head. He didn't want to put Ducky through it again. "Was thinking of asking Ziva if she'd view it with me. I don't want to put her through it but if anyone can tell me how I can help Abby, I figure it's Ziva." He hesitated. "Or d'ya think it would be too much for her?"

Ducky paused as he considered his reply. In a way, it was what had been running through his own mind. "There's no doubt that it would be an unpleasant reminder of what she no doubt went through in Somalia, and you know as well as I do how she's neither revealed everything that happened to her over there, nor I suspect has she really come to terms with it herself."

"Then I shouldn't put her through it, Duck." The last thing Gibbs wanted to do was open wounds which Ziva was still struggling to heal herself.

Ducky could see his friend's dilemma. Jethro always had the urge to protect all of his team from everything he could. "Whether you ask her or not, Jethro, Ziva is bound to have figured it out for herself already. She was in that plane with you, she will have seen the room and the bed. She will have worked out how long Abby was unconscious and will also be wondering, no doubt, what happened to Abby in those missing hours."

"Yeah, that crossed my mind too." Gibbs ran his hand through his hair. Everything Ducky was telling him wasn't a surprise. Ziva was too good an investigator not to have thought this through already.

"She will realize what could be on that video footage. If I know our Ziva, she will offer to help, whether you ask her or not."

Gibbs glanced over at Abby. "Abby also wants to see it, Duck."

Ducky nodded. "Yes, Callen told me. She made him promise to send her a copy, which he hasn't done yet."

"Do you think she should see it?" Gibbs hoped that the ME would say no but feared it wouldn't be that simple.

"Whether it's wise for her to see it or not, you won't stop her wanting to see it, nor asking to do so." Ducky knew how determined Abby could be when she'd set her mind and heart on something.

"But does she need to actually _see_ it? What if we just told her what was on it?" Gibbs felt like he was almost pleading… anything so she didn't have to face what was on the video.

"Knowing Abby as you do, do you think she'd just settle for that?" Ducky hated having to push Gibbs like this but knew he had to.

After a long pause, Gibbs sighed and shook his head. "No."

Ducky continued, "We're back to the difference between perhaps not _wanting_ to see something but maybe _needing _to… just as you said now, Jethro."

"I know, Duck." Gibbs realized what Ducky was trying to say but that didn't mean he had to like it. "Doesn't make it any easier thinking of her having to face it."

"She's facing it all the time, even if she hasn't physically _seen_ what happened to her. It's how she copes with it that is the key." And how they all helped her cope, Ducky finished his own thought. He continued. "Callen told me that she knows there was semen on her clothes."

"Yeah, she said as much to me too." Gibbs remembered how adamant Abby had been during that conversation about how important it was to her to know what had happened.

"Well, she is a scientist, Jethro. It would be unusual if she hadn't already made that connection."

Gibbs nodded. "She says it's driving her crazy not knowing exactly what he did to her."

"Well, that I can understand. I suppose a better question to address would be _when_ she should be told or rather, when she should see the footage?" Ducky looked thoughtful.

"And what d'ya think?" That was the key question really, and Gibbs desperately needed help to do the right thing.

"If I can allow my own gut feeling to surface for a moment, my instinct would be that it's too soon. She looks cheerful enough now but I can see as well as you can that it's beginning to take its toll, even with something as pleasant as saying hello to friends. She looks tired." Ducky could see how strained Abby looked, despite the cheerful way she was chatting with everybody. "She's putting on a front, an act, isn't she?"

"Yeah, Duck. She's been doing that since I saw her on Wednesday, with the occasional period when she relaxes that performance… mostly when we're alone."

It was partly for this reason that Gibbs wanted to get Abby home and give her time to relax. The past few days had been a whirlwind of rushing from hospital to hotel to the LA office and then to the flight home, and all while recovering from being drugged and threatened. It was hardly surprising she would struggle to find some kind of normality in all that. There'd been precious little time just to rest. It was, after all, barely 48 hours since she'd been rescued.

Gibbs continued, "She insisted on coming in this morning. I'd have been happier if she'd stayed at my house resting."

"Is she sleeping?" Ducky sounded as concerned as Gibbs felt.

"Mostly… she woke up each night from a nightmare, the first night worse than last night."

Ducky chose to forbear commenting on how Gibbs knew about her nightmares unless he'd been there at night near her. If he had been with her, to Ducky that was good news. If their relationship had changed because of this, then it may explain why Abby hadn't yet broken down and was still managing to function.

Ducky made a decision. "Okay, Jethro, this is what I think we should do. I want to see her and examine her today, talk to her away from everyone where she can't hide how she's feeling. Then perhaps you and I can tell her tomorrow and see if she really needs to see the footage."

He saw Gibbs nodding in agreement. "Come over tomorrow afternoon, Duck."

Ducky went on, thinking it through as he spoke. "Then I think one of us should be with her if she does see it. She'll probably want you with her rather than me."

"Who else has seen it?" Gibbs was anxious that the footage would be seen by as few people as possible. Abby valued her privacy and he knew she wouldn't want this accessible beyond the essential people who needed to view the evidence.

"I believe Callen was careful to ensure that only Eric worked on the video. Callen has also seen it," explained Ducky.

Gibbs winced inwardly. Having seen how Callen felt about Abby, he knew that his friend would have found seeing what happened to her nothing less than pure hell. It would probably only increase Callen's guilt that Abby had been kidnapped on his watch.

Ducky continued, "I'm assuming Hetty may have access to it as well and, of course, Director Vance. Other than that, it'll just be me and you, and Ziva if she agrees… and Abby if she chooses to. I don't think either Tony or Tim should see it."

Gibbs shook his head. "No, Abby wouldn't want them to, I'm sure of that and I don't want them seeing it either. There are some things you can never un-see, Duck."

Before they could talk further, they saw Abby approaching, eager to greet her friend. Ducky smiled and held out his arms and she practically ran into them. Gibbs could see the strain on her face and saw the moment at which it all became too much, Ducky's hug finally undoing her precarious self control.

She clung to the ME, burying her face in his neck and started to tremble. Gibbs was there in an instant, moving to stand beside her and rubbing his hand across her back in soothing circles. He felt like folding both Abby and Ducky in a hug, he was worried about how Ducky was coping with the strain of it all.

He was conscious of the team immediately forming a protective circle around them, giving Abby the privacy she needed to cry.

Tony moved close behind Ducky and gently stroked her hair, his face twisting with worry over his friend. Ziva and McGee stood between Abby and the rest of the bullpen, shielding her from everyone else's gaze.

Ducky held her for a few minutes before suggesting softly, "Abby, let's go downstairs."

She sniffed and nodded, standing up and glancing at Gibbs who took her hand, "I'll be down soon, Abbs."

Ducky gestured to DiNozzo, who put an arm around Abby. She leaned on him heavily as they walked to the elevator.

McGee looked lost as he watched his former lover move away, hurt that Abby would turn to Gibbs and virtually ignore him. Ziva stood by him, offering what support and comfort she could. "Ducky will look after her, McGee." She could sense how torn Tim was by everything that had happened.

Gibbs waited until the elevator closed on Abby, Ducky and DiNozzo. He tilted his head, beckoning Ziva closer as McGee moved back to his desk and asked her quietly, "Ziva, I need to talk to you."

TBC

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><p>AN: Okay, you all know what's coming next. I hope you'll bear with me…


	16. Chapter 16: Unpleasant Reminders

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: Big hugs to Bamacrush who held my hand for this chapter and gave me valuable feedback. I'm away with a dodgy connection at the moment so it's difficult to reply to reviews but I appreciate every one of them. Thanks for sticking with me on this story.

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><p><strong>Chapter 16 - Unpleasant Reminders<strong>

"_Ziva, I need to talk to you."_

Gibbs led Ziva to the conference room so they could talk privately.

He didn't want her to think this was a conversation with her boss, but merely her friend. Hell, he didn't even want to ask her in the first place but needed to, for Abby's sake.

Gibbs could sense Ziva's curiosity as they entered the room. He was too wound up to sit and tried to resist the urge to pace, which was in stark contrast to Ziva's calmness as she stood waiting for him to broach the subject so obviously on his mind.

"Ziva, I need to ask you something… as a friend, but don't want you to feel you have to agree." Gibbs forced himself to sit and put the flash drive on the table.

Ziva joined him at the table, eyeing the drive and spoke before he could elaborate, "Is that the footage from the rest of the video feed?"

He should have known Ziva would get there first. "How did you…?"

She smiled briefly at his puzzlement. "I have been thinking about little else since Wednesday morning, Gibbs, about what happened to Abby in the hours before we saw the video feed. There was, after all, a whole night unaccounted for."

"Callen had Eric extract the relevant footage," confirmed Gibbs.

"Have you seen it?"

"Not yet. Ducky has." Gibbs hesitated, unsure how to continue.

Ziva thought she could guess what he wanted to ask her and felt for him as he struggled to express it. She decided to ease him into the subject. "What did he do to her, Gibbs?"

Gibbs described the basics of what Ducky had told him, feeling sick to his stomach. Ziva's only visible reaction was to close her eyes briefly at the end, but when she opened them again, there was a determined glint in her brown eyes which Gibbs recognized.

"And you would like me to watch it?" Ziva had intended to ask for the details anyway and had hoped to also be able to watch the footage. She needed to know what Abby had suffered so she could help her.

"Don't want you to, Ziva. It's not even fair to ask you." Gibbs' voice sounded strained.

"And if I were to offer to watch it?" Ziva smiled at him as Gibbs raised his head to meet her eyes. "I have been worried about what he did to my friend ever since I realized there were missing hours, Gibbs."

Moved and, if he were honest with himself, relieved that she would offer, Gibbs looked down at his hands as he tried to explain. "I need to know how to help her and I'm not sure how. I feel… lost, Ziva."

Ziva looked startled at the admission from the Marine. She'd not heard him readily admit to such vulnerability before, but then she'd recognized early on that Abby was his weak spot. Any pain inflicted on her, Gibbs felt as if it were his own.

Ziva was touched he trusted her enough to reveal that side of himself. "We will all need to help her, Gibbs. We just need to decide what would be the best way."

"I figured… or Ducky did, that you'd know what we should do for the best… what to avoid so we don't make the situation worse." God, he was babbling.

"Is that as a woman or as a… survivor myself?" Ziva asked.

It was the closest he'd heard Ziva come to referring to what had happened to her in Somalia. He thought it significant she would refer to herself as a survivor and not a victim. It was how he hoped Abby would begin to think of herself. To him she was a survivor but he wondered if she felt the same.

"Both, I guess." He hated acting as a reminder to Ziva. It was another reason to loathe the Phantom, the ripples of his actions spreading far beyond the original crimes.

"Then I will help." Ziva said simply. She would do whatever she could to help her friend… both her friends. "Are you sure you want to see this yourself, Gibbs?"

"Don't want to, Ziva, but need to." He had psyched himself up to see it over the past couple of days but it didn't make the prospect any easier.

Ziva nodded, understanding the difference, and smiled reassuringly. "Then we will watch it together."

Gibbs could only nod his gratitude, touched that she would do this. It was typical of Ziva that she would offer help so selflessly.

Ziva plugged in the flash drive and set the recording running, and they sat side by side to watch it.

Despite knowing the worst of what it contained, watching it was still one of the hardest things Gibbs had ever done. Ziva was outwardly calm but Gibbs could tell by the intermittent clenching of her hands that she was controlling and damping down her reactions.

They watched the Phantom carry Abby into the 'room' and dump her on the bed. He then sat quite still in the chair in which he would later place Abby and just looked at her lying there, helpless. Gibbs' flesh crawled as he imagined the killer's eyes roving over Abby's body.

After a while, the Phantom sat on the side of the bed and Gibbs was unable to stop himself flinching as he saw the killer reach out to touch Abby's hair. His hand then traced the lines of her face and the spider web tattoo. Gibbs was more thankful than ever that she was obviously so deeply drugged that the touch didn't register. It was the first time he'd been grateful for those drugs instead of cursing how sick they made Abby feel afterwards.

It wasn't long before the Phantom's touch roamed further and Gibbs felt his stomach tighten in anger as he watched the killer's hands move all over Abby's curves. He kept telling himself that at least she was still fully clothed but it was scant comfort.

Gibbs heard Ziva's indrawn breath as they watched the known but dreaded next step. The Phantom became visibly more excited the more he touched Abby and he soon moved to rubbing himself through his trousers. Forcing himself to continue watching to the end, Gibbs felt his own rage building as he saw the Phantom kneel on the bed as he freed himself from his trousers and finished jerking off next to her.

Ducky was right… it was almost incidental that his semen had ended up on Abby's clothes. He wasn't touching her when he climaxed and the bed itself had taken most of it… some just splashing onto her clothes and then perhaps transferring from his hands when he dragged Abby off the bed and into the chair afterwards. What Gibbs had feared, that he had been in contact with Abby, perhaps on top of her when he climaxed, wasn't the case and it was about the only comfort Gibbs could draw.

As the video came to an end, Gibbs was conscious that he was still staring at the screen, hands clenched into fists, blood pounding in his ears as he tried to control his urge to put his fist through the TV screen.

There were only a handful of people throughout Gibbs' life whom he'd hated and loathed with an almost blinding rage. Pedro Henandez was the first when he'd taken away his reason for living by killing Shannon and Kelly; Ari Haswari had become his obsession long before he'd killed Kate and shot at Abby; Saleem for what he had inflicted on Ziva; and now the Phantom, Tom Smith, an innocuous receptionist at a law firm, had joined that shortlist for what he had done to his Abbs.

He vaguely heard Ziva calling his name, seemingly from a long distance and felt her small, deceptively delicate hand cover his. He focused on her face, meeting her gaze, her normally warm eyes concerned, "Are you alright?"

Gibbs ran his hand through his hair. "Should be asking you that."

"I am more worried about you at the moment." What Ziva had seen was almost a relief in a way. But she was concerned that the protective instincts of all the male members of the team would mean they'd find it hard to see anything about that footage as positive, especially for the most over-protective of them all, sitting by her side. "It may not be easy to accept but what we have just seen… could have been a lot worse."

"Ducky said the same but…" He trailed off, sounding unconvinced.

"I know it is very difficult watching anyone hurt Abby, I understand that but we must be thankful that that is _all_ the Phantom did." Ziva disliked having to spell it out but was determined to make Gibbs realize how much worse it could have been.

"I know. Abby was sure he didn't rape her."

"And she would know of course. But what we witnessed now," Ziva gestured at the screen, "he could have stripped her, or she could have been awake but unable to move. That would have been far worse."

Jeez, he hadn't thought of that… that the drugs would have rendered her incapable of fighting back during everything they'd just seen but if she'd been conscious throughout... he suppressed a shudder at the thought.

She waited for him to nod before continuing. "We all heard him threaten her with rape and he obviously wanted her conscious to carry out his threat. He wanted her awake and struggling, Gibbs."

She saw him flinch but ploughed on… he needed to hear this. "That may be why he limited his actions to what we saw. All of which makes me doubly thankful that Callen and Sam got there in time."

Gibbs knew she was right but to see any kind of assault on Abby still hurt like hell. "I know in here you're right," tapping his head, "the rest of me's taking a while to catch up."

Ziva nodded, "Which is understandable."

"Abby wants to see this, Ziva." Gibbs thought he knew how Ziva would respond, given all she'd said so far.

"She knows it exists?" Ziva answered her own question. "Yes, of course she does. She will have realized what might have happened while she was unconscious."

"She also noticed the semen on her clothes," explained Gibbs.

"Of course. I had not thought of that but it is not something she would be likely to miss." A thought struck her. "Does she know the footage is here already?"

"Not yet. D'ya think she should see it?" That was the crux question as far as Gibbs was concerned.

Ziva shrugged. "What I think is largely irrelevant."

"Not to me, Ziva." Her astute observations were always of value in any situation, and her opinion as a woman and survivor was even more relevant now.

"I assume Abby is adamant that she wants to see it." Ziva thought she knew her friend well enough to guess.

"She says she _needs_ to know what he did. There's a difference." Gibbs knew he was clutching at any straw to prevent Abby seeing the footage, but suspected Ziva was about to disagree.

"That is just semantics." Ziva was dismissive. "Once she knows this footage has been found, she will want to see it and not merely accept a description of events."

"Why is a description not enough, Ziva?"

Ziva drew a deep breath as she tried to order her thoughts and explain how she would approach it. "For some women it may be but if I put myself in Abby's shoes, then a description would not be enough for me either. Her imagination will already be supplying her with far more graphic images than what we have just seen. Seeing what actually happened will replace her imaginings with reality, no matter how difficult it may be."

It wasn't an angle Gibbs had thought of before but hearing Ziva voice it made a sort of sense.

"Abby is a very independent woman and knows her own mind. You hardly need me to tell you that," commented Ziva, wryly.

"And stubborn. Once her mind's made up, she's unlikely to change it." Gibbs refrained from mentioning it was a description that could apply equally well to him.

Ziva hesitated before continuing. "I was conscious for most of what happened in Somalia. Had I been given access to the footage of what happened when I was unconscious, I would still want to see it and not just have it described to me."

It was a measure of how much Ziva trusted Gibbs that she chose to reveal so much.

"Is she strong enough to see it?" Gibbs knew Ziva was a lot stronger mentally and physically than Abby, as well as being a trained agent.

Ziva smiled at him. "Abby is stronger than you and the others give her credit for. You cannot wrap her in cotton buds forever."

"Cotton wool." Gibbs corrected her automatically, a slight smile breaking out at the familiar slip.

"Yes, cotton wool," her head tilted to one side as she considered the correction, the slight twinkle in her eye hinting that she knew what the phrase was all along. "She will listen to you and Ducky of course, but ultimately if Abby has decided she wants to see it, then she will do so."

"That's what I thought." Gibbs sounded resigned.

"Physically how is she?" Ziva had talked to Ducky after he'd been updated on Abby's condition by Gibbs. "I know what she said in the bullpen but she is as dismissive of any health problems as you are."

Giving her a look in response to her teasing, Gibbs replied. "She seems better each day but I'd be happier if she had a day without any nausea or muscle aches."

"It is hard to remember that it has only been two days since she was kidnapped." What with Abby's kidnapping, Gibbs taking off for LA and the depleted team catching a case, the time had flown past.

Gibbs brought the topic back round to the footage. "Assuming you're right, when should she see it? Ducky think it's too soon."

"Perhaps but do not leave it too long, Gibbs. If she realizes the footage is here and finds that it has been kept from her… well, I would be angry." Ziva knew she would want to see it as soon as possible. The sooner to start to put it behind her.

"Ducky's coming round this weekend. If Abby's okay, he wants to talk to her then." Gibbs was unsure if even that would be too soon but recognized the danger in letting Abby put two and two together. Her temper was as explosive as his own in some ways and she would react badly if she found out they'd all been acting behind her back, regardless of their good intentions.

"Abby will be staying with you?" Ziva suspected she already knew the answer.

Gibbs nodded. "Heat's out in her building so at least into next week." Gibbs didn't elaborate as to the real reason he wanted Abby at his side as much as possible.

"Then she is in the best place to cope with it." Ziva refrained from commenting that Abby was in the best place for Gibbs to cope as well.

She'd seen today how he hovered over Abby even more so than usual and there was something subtly different about the two of them that she couldn't quite put her finger on. If the events in LA meant that they'd both finally acted on their obvious attraction for one another, then that could only be a positive thing… perhaps the one positive outcome to emerge out of this nightmare.

"If she sees the footage, how do we help her afterwards?"

Ziva considered for a moment before replying. "Listen to her if she wants to talk. Just be there for her when she does not. Above all, treat her normally. The last thing she will want is everyone treading on eggshells around her. The best way you all helped me was by treating me as you had always done… letting me be normal again."

Gibbs could understand that. Abby had said to him several times that she just wanted things to be normal again.

Ziva continued. "She will need you more than anyone else I think, but then I believe you know that already. Ducky will also be very helpful. She respects his opinion… more so than the agency psychologist she will no doubt have to see."

"Yeah, she knows she's got to jump through that hoop." Gibbs knew she would fret at being kept off work for even a few days.

"Has she expressed a wish to speak to the psychologist?" Ziva hadn't found that helpful after Somalia, even though a part of her recognized that she had needed help.

"Nope, but she does want to talk to Ducky." Gibbs knew the last thing Abby wanted to do was speak to the agency psychologist but she might need to.

Ziva nodded in agreement. "I can see how the prospect of talking to a stranger would be unwelcome. Talking to Ducky is a very good idea."

Ziva knew how insightful and comforting the ME could be. It was not only his training but his innate sense of what you most needed to hear, coupled with his natural warmth and compassion, which helped in any stressful situation. For someone who worked with the dead, his instincts with the living were nearly always spot on.

"I will also spend some time with Abby next week if she would like me to, if she wants to talk." Ziva was firm. "She will get through this, Gibbs."

Everything Ziva had said was, in some ways, not a surprise to him but he felt somehow lighter to hear it expressed so succinctly. To know that Ziva would be there for Abby was a great comfort. With her unique insight and experiences, she was the best person to help but...

"Wish I didn't have to ask you to face this, Ziva." He bitterly regretted stirring up unpleasant memories of an experience which perhaps she was beginning to put behind her. He just hoped that she didn't think he was comparing the horror of what she had endured in Somalia with Abby's experience. The two were vastly different. But it was the only reference point he had.

She recognized it was the closest he'd come to apologizing. "It is time… time to put my experience to better use." It had been hard to watch the footage and yes, it had stirred up memories but time had begun to lessen their impact. It would be good to do something positive to help Abby instead of brooding about what had happened to her in Somalia.

They both stood and made to leave. Gibbs caught her hand as Ziva passed him. "Thank you, Ziva." He bent and kissed her gently on the cheek.

She knew that he was referring to more than just sitting with him during the footage. A wide smile brightened her lovely face and she squeezed his hand in reply. "You are welcome, Jethro."

* * *

><p>AN: Next chapter focuses on Abby with Ducky in autopsy. Promise we are inching towards a fluffy interlude… honest!


	17. Chapter 17: Overwhelming

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: Thanks to everyone for their kind comments about the last chapter, which was a difficult one to write, as you all gathered – so your support is a big help.

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><p><strong>Chapter 17 – <strong>**Overwhelming**

For the second time in an hour, Tony stood wrapped around Abby, reluctant to let her go. Despite her protestations that she was 'fine', her actions surely belied her words. She was clinging to him tightly and crying into his neck so how could she be fine?

Abby eventually drew back from the comfort of Tony's hug, wiping her hands over her face to help dry her tears. "I'm fine, Tony, honestly. I don't even know why I'm crying. They're happy tears not sad ones." Tony still looked doubtful as she continued. "I'm not upset about anything, really I'm not and I don't feel ill. I was really pleased to see everyone. It was just suddenly…"

"A bit overwhelming?" interjected Ducky, his smile understanding as he watched the two of them, seeing the worry on Tony's face.

"Yeah, Ducky. Isn't that silly?" Abby wasn't even sure why she'd broken down. Ducky's gentle hug had just crumbled her self control in seconds. She'd wanted nothing more than to get out of the bullpen away from everyone and lean on him in the welcome quiet of autopsy.

"Not at all, my dear. To be suddenly surrounded by so many people, however well meaning, was bound to be a bit too much too soon." Ducky had expected something like this and was thankful to get her down in his domain where she could have some privacy.

"I wasn't expecting to see so many people or to get so many presents… and just made to feel…" Abby's voice trailed off, sounding amazed.

"Special? But you are, my dear." Ducky shook his head with a fond smile. It was typical of Abby's modesty that she would be surprised at how much fuss everyone in the Navy Yard wanted to make of her. "Everyone was worried about you. They'd missed you. They are merely showing it in the only way they know how. But everything all at once is bound to be almost overwhelming."

"Perhaps you shouldn't have come in today, Abbs?" suggested Tony. As pleased as he was to see his friend, he didn't like to see her upset or looking so tired. Dark circles shadowed her usually vibrant green eyes and she looked drained, the dead giveaway in her body language being how slumped her shoulders were. She usually almost folded in on herself when she was exhausted, as if the effort to hold her shoulders back on her tall frame became too much.

Abby gave him a wan smile. "I wanted to see everyone, Tony. I've missed you all. Let me rest down here for a bit and I'll be…"

"Fine," Tony finished for her, smiling ruefully as he anticipated her response and not believing a word of it. "Yeah, I know."

"And besides, I needed to collect some stuff from my lab to work on at home _and_ rescue Bert. Who knows what music the temp has been playing to his sensitive ears."

"Okay, okay." Tony held his hands up in defeat. "I'm sure if the boss couldn't persuade you to stay away, then it's useless me even trying." Tony let her change the subject, recognizing Abby's stubborn streak when it emerged. "We're ordering lunch in, I'll add you and the boss in and you can come and keep us company before you go."

"I'd like that, Tony and please get me a Caf!Pow, I'm suffering withdrawal symptoms." Abby kissed him on the cheek and Tony gave her a quick hug before leaving her with Ducky.

Sitting down opposite her, Ducky took the opportunity to take a closer look at Abby's appearance, noting the strain she was trying so hard to hide.

"Feeling better, my dear?" he asked gently.

"Yes, Ducky. I'm not sure why it was suddenly too much." Abby tried to be more honest this time. She knew that Ducky wouldn't be as easily deflected as Tony.

"It's only been two days, Abigail," he reminded her.

"So Gibbs keeps telling me," replied Abby, rolling her eyes.

Ducky chuckled at her predictable exasperation. "Feeling smothered by everyone?" She hated being fussed over almost as much as Gibbs did; in that, as in many other things, they were very alike, despite being outwardly so different.

"You're all doing a very good impersonation of mother hens." She sounded amused rather than annoyed, which Ducky was grateful for. Once she found all the advice being offered irritating, she was likely to stop listening at all.

"It's been very difficult for everyone, Jethro in particular," explained Ducky, wondering how much he should say. "Whenever you've been in danger before, he's been nearby… as we all have. In the past we've always been able to do something to try to help and to subdue our worry for you in actions. To be suddenly thousands of miles away and not be able to help was far worse." He remembered the worry he felt when he received Gibbs' phone call telling him Abby was missing, presumed kidnapped.

She'd seen Ducky talking to Gibbs in the bullpen, both of them looking strained and tired and wondered if that's what they'd been discussing. "I know, Ducky. I feel awful about that, about putting everyone through it," she admitted.

"It's hardly your fault, Abby, but it must have reminded Gibbs of being too far away to help Shannon and Kelly all those years ago." Ducky hesitated about making the analogy but it would do her no harm to realize just how much Jethro had suffered in the past few days, if she didn't already know. Once again, he wondered at the possible change in their relationship.

"You can't compare me with them." Abby sounded almost indignant.

Ducky looked thoughtful. "Can't I, Abby? I think you underestimate what you mean to Jethro."

"It's sweet of you, Ducky, but it's not the same… can never be the same." She knew she would never mean the same as Gibbs' first wife, but she was fine with that. Just having him care about her, love her, was enough. Or would be soon, if they could ever get time to progress this relationship where she was sure they both wanted it to go and spend some time together, just the two of them. Ducky's comment made her wonder too if the ME had spotted something, or if he just knew both of them so well that he would see any subtle change.

Rather than push the point, Ducky chose to change the subject. As well as examining Abby physically, he discussed the drugs that had been used and what she'd done since to manage the after-effects. Satisfied that she'd been sensible and that her appetite would come back in full force soon, he turned his mind to her mental condition.

Her bravery during her ordeal was astonishing and the way she was handling the aftermath was nothing short of inspirational, but also worrying that she was persistently trying to act normally. He suspected that Jethro's constant presence at her side over the past couple of days was responsible for how well she was coping so far, but she had to start letting it out at some point.

"I actually don't feel too bad today, Ducky," Abby admitted. "It's the first morning where I haven't felt too sick. My muscles occasionally feel sore and stiff but the pins and needles are only fleeting, a bit like a sudden 'ouch' rather than anything prolonged. I'm just tired… that's the overwhelming feeling. I'm looking forward to a weekend of doing very little, of trying to forget what happened. I just want to put it all behind me."

"I can understand that but you should also be proud of what you achieved, Abby," interjected Ducky.

"I'm not so sure about that, Ducky," she said, ruefully. "Getting myself kidnapped and nearly killed is hardly something to be proud of."

"You can't possibly blame yourself for that," Ducky felt moved to protest and reached for her hand to further emphasize his point. "He only targeted you because you were a threat to him. The work that you did just discovering him was remarkable in itself, although I can understand why you would think that might be tainted by subsequent events. But you will eventually be able to view the positives out of everything that happened rather than just focus on the negatives, I'm sure of it and I'll be delighted to keep reminding you if I need to."

Abby smiled gratefully at his attempts to cheer her up. "He was lurking on the blog for at least two months, Ducky. He was there all the time… right in front of me and I never saw it." She was finding it hard to get past that thought… that all the time she was posting and speculating, formulating her theories and struggling to get local police forces to take her theories seriously, the guy she was hunting was right there all the time, probably laughing at her.

"That just proves he was planning it for a long time and that he recognized what a threat you were from the beginning." Abby didn't look convinced and he knew that this could be one of the hardest aspects of her whole ordeal that she had to come to terms with. He went on, "What will you do with your blog?" Ducky was curious how she'd view what had always been something very personal to her.

"I'm not sure. I'm tempted to delete it entirely." Abby looked down at their joined hands, her voice sounding defeated.

He feared as such and was determined she wouldn't go down that route. "Don't let that be a victory for him, Abby. The forensics forum would be the poorer without your input and you know it. There must be precautions you can take to check out future posters?"

"Well, we can get all the identities checked out, like the LA team did when they narrowed down the search on… god, was it only Tuesday?" She shook her head with an incredulous laugh. It seemed like a lifetime ago. "Perhaps I should have done that before… I might have spotted him earlier if I had. You know, he even lured me to exactly the club he wanted me to go to and I walked straight into his trap. I made it so easy for him, Ducky." He could see tears beginning to shimmer in her eyes again and shuffled his chair nearer so he could put an arm around her shoulders.

Ducky continued, gently but firmly. "That does not mar what you did nor should it taint your greatest achievement, Abby. How many investigators, let alone scientists, can claim to have discovered an unknown serial killer? You solved 15 murders… that alone is remarkable."

"I know, Ducky. At least my mind knows that. Accepting the reality of it is a little bit different… much harder." Abby sniffed back her tears, leaning on her friend, grateful for the comfort and strength he was offering. She felt suddenly so tired, as if all she wanted to do was curl up and sleep.

Ducky nodded, squeezing her shoulder. "It's bound to be difficult or take time to accept when the reality of what he did and how close you came to death is still too fresh." He wasn't sure how much he should say but he knew Abby. She wouldn't want anything sugar coated and she would hardly need reminding of how near her close shave was with death.

"Did you see the footage?" Abby asked after a moment's silence.

"Yes, I did." It wasn't something he was ever likely to forget but had hoped not to discuss it right now.

"I'm sorry you had to see that, Ducky." She looked at him, concerned at the worry she could see in his eyes.

"It was nothing to what you were going through, my dear," admitted Ducky. "I can't begin to imagine what it must have been like. You faced him down with courage and dignity." She amazed him how she would always think of others first, even when reminded of her own terror and nightmare. Abby was truly a one-off.

"It didn't feel very dignified at the time." Her voice strengthened in determination. "That's not the end of it though. I need to know what he did to me in the hours before I woke. There's a whole night unaccounted for, Ducky."

Ducky paused before responding, feeling his way through to the best response. "I realize how important that would be, but you mustn't rush to add more stress to what you're already experiencing." He thought of what Jethro was going through several floors up, hopefully in the company of Ziva.

"Not knowing is more stressful, Ducky. I wish everyone would see that." Her eyes were bright with tears of frustration.

"We do see it but you must give it time." He needed to deflect her, not wanting to talk about it too much lest she start asking where the missing footage was and find out it was already here. It was hard to lie to Abby, her observational skills were almost as honed as Gibbs and very little got passed her.

"I've got nothing but time on my hands at the moment," she exploded, sounding angry, gesturing in her frustration. "I'm not allowed back in my lab all week. It'll drive me mad not to be doing something… anything."

"You know you must see the psych eval team first before you're allowed back to work, Abigail, even if you don't want to," reminded Ducky. "You heard the Director. That didn't sound like a request or a suggestion to me. And they may recommend further sessions with the agency psychologist."

"Yeah, I know but I'd far rather talk to you." Abby wrapped her arms round herself, sitting hunched over, a sure sign she was nervous or worried.

"You know you can do that at any time, Abby." The last thing he wanted her to think was that it was an 'either/or' option. Whatever she was obligated to do with the agency team, he was determined he would spend as much time with Abby as she needed. He wasn't able to do anything to help her when she was so far away, so he was damned if he was going to fail his friend now she was back home… both his friends. He was equally concerned at the effect seeing the footage would have on Gibbs.

"I just want things to be normal again," her voice was sad, almost lost.

"They will be… but you must just give it time." Aware he was repeating himself but it was all had to offer at the moment. "You are allowed time to heal, you know," he kept his voice reassuring as he stood and wrapped his arms round her in a hug, which she returned fiercely, wrapping her arms round his waist from her sitting position.

Abby didn't cry again but clung to Ducky tightly as he held her, rubbing his hands over her back soothingly, trying to convey as much comfort as she'd allow, both enjoying the relative peace and quiet of the moment.

When she pulled back some time later, her smile was brighter as she looked up at him, "Thank you, Ducky."

"You're welcome, my dear." He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "I didn't tell you anything you didn't already know, deep down." It was a first small step perhaps but Ducky was under no illusions that it was a long road ahead, more so when she finally saw the footage. He knew she would insist on it.

"Maybe but at least hearing you say it, I'm more likely to believe it," Abby told him.

The phone rang to interrupt and it was Tony calling with news that lunch had arrived. Ducky turned to Abby as he put the phone down. "Are you ready, Abby or do you need more time?"

Abby shook her head, stretching as she stood up. "I'm ready, Ducky." She hesitated on the brink of leaving. "Ducky, do you want to come round for dinner on Sunday? We could talk again then… if you're free of course."

"I'd love to, Abby, thank you. I'll also pop round tomorrow afternoon, just to check you're physically still okay." Ducky knew he couldn't wait till Sunday to talk to her about the video footage. Once she started questioning where it was and found out it was not only here already but that he and Gibbs had seen it, Abby would very likely be less than pleased. If he could talk to her about it tomorrow, then they could maybe plan how best to let her see it.

Abby rolled her eyes at what she felt was Ducky also starting to fuss, but before she could comment further, the door opened and Gibbs arrived.

Abby's eyes lit up at the sight of the tall figure, who typically dominated the room as soon as he entered it. She launched herself at him immediately and Gibbs caught her in a hug, folding her close.

Ducky saw Gibbs' face over her shoulder and he could see the strain that seeing that footage had caused. His eyes looked haunted. They stared at each other, neither finding the need for words.

If Ducky found it hard to watch something happening to a woman he thought of as the daughter he'd never had, how much harder would it be for Gibbs whose feelings for Abby were obviously so much stronger? He was never likely to forget it and Ducky cursed the Phantom not for the first time, wishing his friend had never seen it at all.

Gibbs drew back and Ducky saw his mask slamming back into place before Abby could read his expression. Gibbs cupped Abby's face in his hands, eyes roaming over her face seeing the evidence of her tears. "You okay, Abbs?"

"I'm feeling better, thanks to Ducky." Gibbs glanced over at Ducky and gave him a brief smile of thanks. Ducky saw her lean into his touch. "We were just going upstairs. Tony rang to say lunch was here and I'm just going to pick up a few things from my lab, and then we can go home."

Gibbs' face softened at the mention of home. "Sounds good." He moved his hands to her shoulders and squeezed.

Abby hesitated, seeing something in his face which worried her. "Are you okay?"

Gibbs sighed, "Yeah, just keen to get you out of here." He didn't want to reveal the real reason for the strain he feared was visible on his face. Abby knew him too well for his usual mask to work for too long.

Ducky interjected, seeking also to deflect Abby. "And not a moment too soon, Jethro. Go and have some lunch and then go home, the pair of you. I'll see you both tomorrow."

Gibbs nodded at him, trying to convey his gratitude silently. Abby turned to Ducky and gave him a quick hug of thanks before turning back to Gibbs, "I'll just go to my lab first and be up in a minute."

* * *

><p>Gibbs joined his agents in the bullpen after a brief talk with Ducky. While they ate lunch, DiNozzo updated him on the case they'd caught this week. Fortunately, it had been a relatively simple one and even the depleted team had managed to solve it in two days, giving them all the prospect of finishing at a reasonable time for once on Friday… something they could all do with after what had happened to Abby this week.<p>

When DiNozzo wound down in his sit rep, he voiced what he'd wanted to ask ever since Gibbs had arrived. "Is Abby really okay, boss?"

"Not yet but she will be, DiNozzo." Gibbs could see how worried his Senior Agent was. With no close family nearby, Tony had always viewed Abby as a kid sister and was almost as protective of her as Gibbs.

Before they could talk further, Abby arrived in the bullpen, arms full of files, clutching Bert and the new gift from Security. Dumping them on the floor between Tony and McGee's desk, she grabbed the Caf!Pow off Tony's desk like a lifeline and perched on the corner to work her way through a sandwich. Ziva and McGee had packed the cards and presents Abby had received into one box so she could take it away to look at later on.

As he worked through the paperwork on his desk, Gibbs kept a surreptitious eye on her. She looked tired but a bit more like herself in familiar surroundings. Soon, they could go home and he wasn't letting either of them out of the house till Monday at the earliest.

He also tried to keep an eye on Ziva, worried about the effect of seeing the footage but her mask was just as effective as his own. Gibbs could detect nothing more than the usual mix of amusement and exasperation at the antics of Tony and McGee, who were making even more strenuous efforts than normal to make Abby laugh.

Typically of course, Ziva caught him at it, giving him a warm smile when she caught his eye. Ziva suspected Gibbs would now be feeling guilty about asking her, in his usual habit of taking everyone's burdens onto his own shoulders. She wished he could understand there was no need for him to worry. This was something positive she could do for her friends, and that was far better than sitting on the sidelines worrying about both of them.

Meanwhile, it was good to see Abby relaxing again… although Ziva wondered how much of that was also a performance for the sake of the 'boys,' to prevent them worrying too much. It was something Ziva recognized that she did herself to deflect attention.

Snagging the bag of cookies, Ziva approached Gibbs' desk and she was able to talk to him quietly under the pretext of delivering a file.

"You okay?" Gibbs asked before she could say a word.

Rolling her eyes at him, she answered quietly, "At the risk of saying a word which is being overused at the moment, yes, I am fine. I wish I could be sure Abby was also. She keeps saying she is fine, but that is a word you both use when you are not fine but trying to hide it from everyone."

Giving her a knowing look for her too perceptive comment, Gibbs replied, keeping his voice equally soft, "She's been putting on that act in company for the past two days."

"I thought as much," Ziva nodded at Gibbs and moved back to her own desk. Tuning back into the conversation Abby was having with Tony, she couldn't help laughing as she heard Abby's next comment.

"I had to rescue Bert as well. I just couldn't leave him in the lab, the poor baby was being forced to listen to 'Manly Barrilow' music. Can you imagine the trauma?" Abby grinned as Tony snorted with laughter.

Gibbs suppressed a smile, listening to the banter rolling around him, quietly enjoying yet another feeling of being normal again.

"I need a favor, Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. I need your muscles." Abby smiled at Tony as she drained her Caf!Pow.

"But of course, gorgeous… all of them or just a select few?" Tony made a play of flexing his arm muscles, only to be cut off by Ziva snorting as she came over to collect more food.

"I thought there were only a select few, Tony," came the teasing comment.

"You wound me to the heart, Ziva. Ignore her, Abbs." Tony rocked back on his chair. "Name your muscle and it shall be yours."

Abby pretended to consider. "Well, it's probably your back muscles I'm gonna need."

"Really?" Not even the presence of a glaring Gibbs ten feet away could keep the suggestive smirk off Tony's face.

"Yup, I need something moving. The heat's out in my building… again," explained Abby, finishing off her sandwich.

"When are you gonna move out of that place, Abbs?" Tony disliked Abby's apartment building as much as Gibbs did, but they'd both failed spectacularly to persuade her to move out of it.

"Oh, don't you start Tony." Abby glanced over at Gibbs to see a familiar smirk at hearing his own remarks from earlier on echoed.

"It's true, Abbs. That place is a nightmare," Tony winced as he met Abby's glare. "Okay, I'll stop nagging… for now."

Ziva cut in, "I imagine Abby would like to decide when and if she moves, Tony. Everyone acting like mother chickens is not helping."

Tony rolled his eyes, "Hens, Ziva. It's mother hens."

Ziva cocked her head to the side, pretending to consider, "I think I prefer my version if we are describing you, Tony."

Abby giggled, sending a grateful smile in Ziva's direction as she succeeded in changing the topic, or thought she had until...

"Do you need a place to stay, Abby? You can stay with me if you like," offered McGee eagerly into the gap in conversation.

There was a moment of silence as Tony and Ziva exchanged glances and Abby looked momentarily discomforted. Gibbs froze, keeping his eyes down as he sipped his coffee, wondering whether he'd have to intervene if Abby was too uncomfortable. He needn't have worried…

"That's sweet of you, Timmy, but it's all arranged. I'm staying with Gibbs next week until the heat's back on." She knew McGee would be hurt by that but was at a loss how else to handle it at the moment… certainly not in full view of everyone in the bullpen. It looked like a conversation she would need to have with her ex-lover sooner rather than later.

McGee glanced across at his boss, trying to keep his reaction off his face.

Abby went on before the moment could get any more awkward. "Gibbs has also had a moment of madness and offered to let me move my TV and DVD recorder to his house while I'm staying, hence my desperate need for your muscles, Tony."

Thudding his chair to the ground in surprise, Tony glanced across at Gibbs. "Wow, are you feeling okay, boss?" He caught Gibbs' glare. "Of course you are. You want me and McMover to bring them over, Abbs?"

"Please, Tony." Abby tried her best 'head on one side innocent pleading face', knowing Tony was more than susceptible.

Tony smiled, "Sure thing, Abbs. Looks like we'll be finished here soon, we could drop them off later."

"That'd be great, thanks." Abby threw her arms around Tony in thanks.

Not that Abby intended doing anything like watching TV for some days to come, if she were honest. She had other plans for a certain Senior Special Agent and watching TV definitely wasn't one of them… if they ever got home… talking of which…

Stacking the last of the signed reports on his desk, Gibbs looked up as Abby approached his desk. "I've emailed my report to Hetty, Gibbs," she told him quietly.

"Okay," He knew it was one more official way of trying to put the whole experience behind her. "You ready to go?" he asked.

"More than ready," Abby admitted. "You'll have to help me carry some of this stuff."

Picking up the pile of files and the box of cards and gifts before she could think of handing him anything more… fluffy, Gibbs gathered as much as he could carry while Abby hugged everyone else goodbye, including McGee, who accepted her hug somewhat stiffly.

She made her way over to Gibbs waiting at the elevator and he eyed Bert and the new teddy bear she was obviously intending to take home, asking quietly, "Should I be jealous now?"

"Never." She rewarded him with a wide smile. "You can't tell me a big, strong Marine is worried by a farting hippo and a small bear."

"Nah," Gibbs paused. "I could take 'em," which earned him a giggle. He took a moment to drink in the sight of her lovely face, seeing her smile widen as she must have read the expression in his eyes. "Let's go home, Abbs."

McGee watched the pair as they boarded the elevator and the door closed, before turning to Ziva. "Do you think if the heat hadn't been out in Abby's building, she'd still have stayed with Gibbs?"

DiNozzo bit back a snappy comment when he saw the expression on McGee's face and let Ziva answer, the sympathy audible in her voice. "Yes, I do, McGee."

McGee sounded resigned. "Yeah, I think so too."

* * *

><p>AN: Okay, we're heading for a few chapters of a fluffy interlude next… think we've all earned it!


	18. Chapter 18: Settling In

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: So I get the 'vague' notion from all your very subtle hints that some fluff and normality is in order after all the angst. Weellll, okay then…

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 18 – <strong>**Settling In **

Abby settled back in the passenger seat as Gibbs pulled out of the Navy Yard, heading home… which sounded unbelievably good right now. She felt tiredness settle over her like a cloud, feeling frustrated with herself. All they'd done today was pick up some clothes from her apartment and say hello to everyone at NCIS. Hardly the kind of long, stressful, busy day she was used to pulling.

Perhaps it really had taken more out of her physically than she wanted to admit.

She shuffled round in her seat so she could watch Gibbs as he drove, running her eyes over the lines of his handsome face. He glanced across at her, quirking an eyebrow.

She cocked her head on one side, twirling a pigtail round her fingers. "Just enjoying the view… payback for the plane trip."

"You realize how distracting that's going to be," Gibbs commented, echoing her words on the plane deliberately.

"U-huh," she grinned at him and he threw a matching grin back at her. "I promise to be good. I'll keep my hands to myself… just."

He threw her a look which didn't quite hide his smirk. "Later you don't need to." He reached out to pull her hand across and pressed a kiss to her knuckles before releasing it. "Need to stop off for groceries. D'ya want me to drop you off first, you look tired, Abbs."

She shook her head. "Nope, I'll come with you. If I leave you to choose the ice cream, we'll just get vanilla."

"What's wrong with vanilla?" he protested.

"I rest my case, Gibbs." She raised her finger to emphasize her point. "Every ice cream should contain chocolate… it should be a rule."

He rolled his eyes at her and they continued the journey in a comfortable silence for a while. Traffic was relatively light in the middle of the day and they were nearing his neighborhood when a thought struck Abby.

"I had a text from Toby," she told him, seeing him smirk at her nickname for Fornell. "He said Emily wants to come over tomorrow afternoon."

He nodded. "Snow's forecast, Abbs. They might not make it."

"If they do, me and Emily can whoop you and Toby in a snowball fight."

She heard his low chuckle. "Emily cheats in a snowball fight."

Abby giggled. "How can a ten year old cheat at that?"

"You'll see," he promised, his lop-sided grin breaking out.

She knew Emily adored her Uncle Jethro and Abby loved seeing him with Fornell's daughter. Gibbs had such a natural way with kids and they all gravitated towards him.

"Ducky's also coming over tomorrow, isn't he?" continued Abby.

"Yeah, something wrong?" He asked, noticing she was biting her lip.

"I invited him for dinner on Sunday too. Is that okay?" She sounded uncertain.

He glanced at her, puzzled by her concern. "Course it is. Why shouldn't it be?"

Abby looked down at her hands, twisting her fingers together. "Well, it's your house, I didn't know if you'd want me issuing invitations. I didn't want to presume anything. I mean, I'd totally understand if you didn't want anyone else coming over at the weekend. We said we'd have the time to ourselves, I know that and I didn't think before I asked Ducky."

Gibbs reached over to still her fidgeting fingers, his tone reassuring. "We're together now, Abbs. You can do whatever you want, invite whoever you want."

She looked over at him, a small smile curving her lips. "Really?"

He returned her smile, then said teasingly, "Within reason."

She chuckled, loving this playful side of him which had understandably been absent the last few days. "Our quiet weekend seems to be turning into a procession of guests. Sorry…" It had gone from locking themselves away so they could spend time together to a succession of visitors, starting with Tony and McGee delivering her TV later on.

Gibbs didn't sound phased, which surprised her. She knew how he valued his privacy. "Sure we can find some time to ourselves, even if I have to barricade us into the basement." He grinned at her and she relaxed, shaking her head at his teasing.

After stocking up on groceries and finally arriving at Gibbs' house, it took several trips to unload the case and bags from Abby's apartment, the stuff she brought from the Navy Yard and the food. After they'd put everything away, Gibbs found Abby slumped against the counter in the kitchen, looking drained as she put on the coffee maker.

He got mugs out of the cupboard and then slid his arms round her waist, nuzzling into her neck. "You okay?"

Abby sighed, resting her hands on his arms. "I'm just really tired, and I had such plans for you when we got back here."

"Did you?" He felt her relaxing against him and pulled her more tightly back against him, enjoying the feel of her in his arms without an audience for the first time since this morning.

He heard her murmur, sounding sleepier by the minute. "Mmm, I was gonna jump your bones."

He snorted with amusement. "Good to know… but you'd fall asleep on me before we got upstairs or even as far as the couch… might make the kitchen table."

She sighed, before turning to face him and winding her arms round his neck. "You may be right, dammit." She reached up to kiss him softly. "I'm gonna go and take a shower and then get some sleep for a few hours. Hopefully, I'll feel livelier later if I do that and I can carry out my plan."

"Good idea." Gibbs was secretly relieved he wouldn't have to try and persuade her to rest without giving away the reason why.

He needed some time to himself in the basement to sort out his thoughts about what he'd seen on the footage. He also wanted to be away from Abby while he calmed down. He'd managed to keep a mask in place in the car and hoped he was successful. Abby could read him alarmingly well at times and he didn't want her to suspect something was up… although he got the impression earlier on that she'd seen something in his face.

Abandoning her coffee lest it keep her awake, Abby headed upstairs, leaving Gibbs alone for the first time in days.

Taking his coffee with him, he went downstairs to his sanctuary. He'd been working on toys for the children's hospital and would welcome the distraction for a few hours, settling his mind as he always did when he was stressed by losing himself in working with the wood.

Gibbs still felt guilty about asking Ziva to view the footage, but was comforted she was going to spend some time with Abby… if only to listen if Abby wanted to talk. He knew Ziva wouldn't open up about her own experiences more than necessary. He wouldn't want her to… she had to decide when she was ready to do that, if ever, and not feel pressured to do it by circumstances.

He knew Abby also wouldn't want to force Ziva to talk. If he knew his Abbs, she'd feel guilty enough that Ziva had to face these reminders anyway.

Knowing that Ducky was coming round was also reassuring. He'd spoken with his friend briefly after he'd come down from the conference room, sharing the horror they both felt over what Abby had experienced, even if she herself didn't know all of it yet.

How Abby would react when she did see it neither of them knew for sure, whether it would be the final straw and cause her to break down, whether it would trigger even more nightmares or whether finally knowing would allow her to move on.

Gibbs knew if he could forget what he'd seen, he'd be tempted to do so. But he knew every scene would be with him for a very long time… if he ever forgot. As he'd said earlier, there were some things you just couldn't unsee.

To see anyone lay a finger on his Abby was gut wrenching. Whatever happened, he would be there for her… whatever she needed, when she needed it.

He agreed with Ducky that they needed to tell Abby sooner rather than later. She would realize soon the footage had to be available and would be very pissed off if she discovered he and Ducky had been keeping it from her.

He'd heard no movement from upstairs and hoped that Abby had been getting the rest she obviously still needed. After several hours work and feeling more centred himself, Gibbs headed upstairs to find her.

Pausing in the doorway of the kitchen, he felt a smile spreading over his face. She was back downstairs, looking much brighter… terrific in fact with her hair still damp from the shower and, as he liked it, loose on her shoulders. He derived the usual masculine satisfaction from seeing her in one of his old NIS T-shirts over the top of her comfortable sweatpants.

Abby was dancing round his kitchen, earplugs in her ears from her iPod. Eyes drawn to her swaying hips, he lounged against the doorframe enjoying the view. She eventually spun to face him, gasping as she caught sight of him.

Tearing her earplugs out, she smiled brightly, "Hey, Gibbs."

He returned her smile. "Hey. Sleep well?"

"Yeah, I did. I feel heaps better. Why didn't you interrupt me?" She moved to the coffee maker and flipped it on, an automatic reaction for both of them when they were within reach of it.

He hesitated before answering, "Was enjoying the view too much."

She searched his eyes, sensing his hesitation and perhaps seeing something he was trying to hide. "You usually make me jump out of my skin… why didn't you?"

He shrugged, reaching for her hand. "Didn't think you'd appreciate being suddenly grabbed, Abbs." It had struck him just as he entered the kitchen that it might remind her too much of being grabbed in the parking lot of the club, stopping himself just in time before he snuck up on her as he normally did.

Abby protested. "Oh, Gibbs. You know I love it when you sneak up on me. You do too, you know you do."

He did. It was one of his favorite pastimes at work, invading her personal space and making her jump. "Normally, yeah. Thought it might be too much of a reminder too soon."

She stepped close and ran her fingers over his cheek. "Not from you. I'd know instantly it was you, you know that, especially as I'm standing in your house. Don't let him take away normal, Gibbs, please. Don't let him take away something I love."

"I'll try," he promised and she nodded, satisfied with his answer.

Gibbs turned his head to press a kiss into her palm before pulling her in for a hug, which she returned with enthusiasm. If his hands roaming over her back hadn't told him there was no bra underneath that shirt, then her breasts pressing up against his chest would have given him a clue. Swallowing hard, he bent to kiss her neck, convinced she was trying to kill him.

When he pulled back, it was to see a mischievous glint in her eyes.

_Oh yeah, she knew exactly what she was doing._

Gibbs had always been very tactile with his women and he'd kept himself under iron control over the past few days, not least because she was ill. He knew exactly how much he could take, how much he could touch her and kiss her before his willpower dissolved. Cold showers had been the norm the past few days, the only way he could calm down. Now they were finally alone and she said she felt much better, then he could loosen the reins a bit… touch her in the way he wanted to and not hold back.

He was delighted to see her sparkle was back.

How long it would last with what she had to face he didn't know but this felt like a welcome interlude, and he wanted her to make the most of it. If she could relax and have a calm night… well, perhaps not such a calm night if he had anything to do with it.

She pecked him on the mouth and spun away to attack the cupboards. "I was gonna make a start on dinner."

"I'll give you a hand when I've had a shower." Gibbs set off upstairs, eager to get on with their first evening alone together.

Preparing dinner side by side, they relaxed into their usual banter. They'd often had dinner together even before their relationship changed so it was easy to fall back into a familiar routine. Abby decided to make enough food for them to heat up as leftovers over the weekend. She hoped they'd have other things on their mind than cooking for at least some of the weekend... constant procession of guests notwithstanding.

She certainly felt more rested after her sleep and finally being alone with Gibbs. He also looked more relaxed than earlier. He'd been so attentive and caring all day. He seemed to be able to read her moods instantly and sense what she needed almost before she did herself.

She couldn't help a sense of excited anticipation at the thought of them finally spending a weekend together as a couple. If she had her way, she wouldn't let him out of bed till Monday morning... although that might make dinner with Ducky a bit of a problem on Sunday, she thought with a giggle.

Dinner nearing completion, they both heard raised voices outside at the same moment. Gibbs peeked through the living room window before announcing, "Delivery boys are here, Abbs."

Gibbs opened the door to see Tony and McGee struggling up his driveway with Abby's large TV.

Tony was in full flow, as usual. "McGoo, would you stop pushing."

"I'm not the one pushing, Tony, you are." McGee's voice displayed a familiar irritation in response to Tony's comments. "Abby's not going to be pleased if you drop her TV."

"Me? You're the one making a mess of it. We need to do this in step or it'll end up all over Gibbs' driveway... oh, hey boss."

Not sure that an extra pair of hands would help at this stage, Gibbs watched warily as they manoeuvred the set inside and into his living room. Gibbs moved his own set out of the way and turned to see Abby leaning against the doorframe.

"Hey, boys. Come to hook me up?" Her naturally husky voice couldn't help but sound seductive, whatever she said, and he saw Tony and McGee both straighten at the sound.

Gibbs saw Tony's mouth curve in an appreciative grin as he ran his eyes over Abby lounging in the doorway in casual clothes, yet still managing to look gorgeous. Not helped when she crossed her arms, enhancing her assets even more.

It was having an effect on him so he could imagine what it was doing to both Tony and McGee.

Sighing at yet another urge to start a round of head slapping every man who got within range of Abby, he settled for glaring.

Eventually his sixth sense warned Tony that he was in danger of a mild concussion again and he muttered, "Sorry, boss. I'll just go and get the box. We packed some of your DVDs, Abbs." He grinned at her admiringly as he passed her in the doorway, and Gibbs could almost see him physically stopping himself turning round to check out her ass as he left.

Abby looked highly amused by the whole performance but McGee, on the other hand, looked very uncomfortable. He stuttered that he'd collect the DVD player from the car, leaving Abby looking after him thoughtfully as he left.

When they returned, it didn't take them long to finish setting up the DVD and TV and Gibbs brought in beers from the kitchen. Handing two to Tony and McGee, he nodded to the couch and settled himself in the armchair.

Beckoning Abby over to sit between him and McGee, Tony was conscious of Gibbs watching him like a hawk to see if his eyes strayed anywhere... scenic. And as tempting as that was given how close Abby was, Tony decided for the sake of his cranium that he'd best keep his eyes averted.

Tony was pleased how much better she looked than earlier though. Gibbs looking after her obviously suited her.

Tony kept the conversation light and flowing, avoiding any awkward silences developing. McGee seemed disinclined to contribute to the conversation, despite several attempts by Abby to include him in her remarks.

Gibbs watched the interplay, alert for any sign of distress on Abby's part in response to McGee being even quieter than normal. If anything though, she looked annoyed rather than upset. McGee looked distracted and glum, finding it hard to make eye contact with his boss.

Tony, for once, kept his jibes aimed at McGee to a minimum, sensing his partner's mood.

Tony rummaged in the box of DVDs they'd brought. "Brought your favourites, Abbs and I've also added some other essentials which I know you haven't seen and you must... trust me, you'll love 'em." Catching Gibbs' eye, he continued. "Not that you'll be watching a lot of TV I guess."

Abby ducked her head to hide her laughter at the look on Gibbs' face, and came to Tony's rescue. "Do you guys want something to eat? What we've done could be stretched to four I think, quite easily." She wasn't sure Gibbs would appreciate the extra company but it was only polite to offer given what her boys had done for her.

Before McGee could answer, Tony cut in. "No, thanks, Abbs. We gotta go... beat this snow. Don't want to get stuck in a snowdrift with McGee if I can help it. He's no Eskimo."

Sensing there was more to it, as there nearly always was with Tony, Abby gave in without further comment. "Okay. Thanks, Tony, I really appreciate this," leaning over to kiss his cheek, which provoked a full blown DiNozzo grin.

Gibbs moved to open the door while Abby hugged McGee in turn, who returned her hug almost fiercely, causing Gibbs' fists to clench reflexively. As Tony paused by the door, he glanced over at McGee and then said something surprising but typically Tony. "I'll look after him, boss."

Gibbs nodded his thanks, receiving a small smile and an understanding look from his Senior Agent in return. Tony may act the joker but his powers of observation rivalled Gibbs' own. It was unlikely he'd missed either McGee's misery or the subtle changes in Gibbs' and Abby's relationship.

They watched the pair leave, Gibbs resisting the urge to pull Abby into his side in a possessive gesture.

Enjoying their first dinner together alone after the shift in their relationship, the banter and playfulness had an extra flirty edge to it. Dealing with the dishes also together, Abby then made coffee while Gibbs installed himself on the couch, pouring them both bourbon.

As Abby came round the corner into the living room, her face broke out in a mischievous grin. "I should get a camera. The sight of you in the same room as a super-sized TV. You sure you're not gonna go into shock?"

Gibbs laughed. "Can think of a few ways you can pay me back."

"Really? You can show me how later." She snuggled into his side as they drank their coffee.

He could tell Abby had something on her mind and waited for her to broach the subject. After they'd finished their coffee, he shifted on the couch to lie along it and pulled Abby down into his arms, feeling relaxed and content for the first time all day.

She rested her head on his shoulder, tracing patterns on his chest. After a while, she asked quietly, "McGee seemed a bit distracted today, didn't he?"

Gibbs ran his hand down her back and tucked it under the edge of the T-shirt, pressing his palm against her warm back, feeling her shiver. "He's had a hard time, Abbs, seeing you in danger."

Abby raised her head to look at him. "Yeah, I know but I think it's more than that, isn't it?"

"Maybe." He wondered if Abby being in danger had acted on McGee in the same way it had on him, as a wake-up call to not waste any more time.

Perhaps his young agent intended to try and rekindle their relationship and it was something Gibbs was worried about. He knew McGee and Abby had been very close for a while but hoped that was over. He needed to know how Abby felt about it.

Abby went on, sounding concerned. "I need to talk to him, Gibbs. Perhaps when I go in next week? It's almost as if he..."

"He what, Abbs?" asked Gibbs when she trailed off.

Abby frowned, biting her lip. "I dunno, I just hope he doesn't want to get back together again."

"Maybe he does. Maybe you being in danger made him want to try again?" Although Gibbs suspected a slightly different reason for McGee's mood just now. He guessed McGee might have realized the change in Abby's relationship with Gibbs and it was that thought which was making him miserable... that he'd left it too late anyway. Gibbs could sympathize. If he'd found he'd missed the boat in the same way and lost Abby, it would have hurt like hell.

"I hope not. I don't want to hurt him, Gibbs, but we didn't work out the first time. What makes him think we'd be any better second time round? Besides, I don't want to try again. It's you I want." She leaned in to kiss him briefly.

"Relieved to hear it, Abbs." As much as he felt sorry for McGee, Gibbs wasn't about to back off or let her go now... not unless she wanted him to.

She saw straight through his well concealed worry and reached up to thread her fingers into his hair, massaging his scalp. "You must know that by now." Did he really not know how much he meant to her? "Or do you need further convincing?"

"Yeah, I know..." he sighed as he leaned his head into her touch, reassured by the expression in her eyes as much as her words. He quirked a smile at her, "But you can convince me if you want."

She grinned at him before moving in for another slow, teasing kiss which soon became hungry and needy. Twisting to press her back into the couch, he ran his hands up her sides under her T-shirt, feeling Abby arch into his touch. He dropped his head to her neck, licking and suckling his way towards her ear. She moaned at the sensations and tried to pull him closer.

Breathing heavily, he levered himself up on his arms, looking down at her lying beneath him, seeing her eyes dilated. "Think it's about time I gave you that massage I promised."

A lazy grin curved her lips. "That's the best idea you've had all day. Give me a few minutes and then follow."

Abby pressed a quick kiss on his mouth and scrambled off the couch. She took off fast upstairs, throwing a teasing grin over her shoulder.

After locking the door and unable to wait a minute, never mind a few, Gibbs ran up the stairs two at a time and came to a halt in the doorway of his bedroom. He felt a grin curve his lips at the same time as his groin tightened as he took in the breathtaking sight before him on the bed.

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><p>AN: Oooh, did I stop it there? Oops. *ducks flying objects*... patience... patience... massage next... honest... ;)


	19. Chapter 19: Welcome Distractions

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: Thanks to Bamacrush and Zivacentric who helped me research and choose the edible massage oil flavors when I was away with a dodgy internet connection. Those two are a bad influence on poor little innocent old me ;) All the comments made me chuckle, as well as reach for a crash helmet. Celtickat also unwittingly provided me with one line for this chapter from her comment… hope she doesn't mind me borrowing!

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><p><strong>Chapter 19 <strong>**– Welcome Distractions**

_He felt a grin curve his lips at the same time as his groin tightened as he took in the breathtaking sight before him on the bed._

Abby was stretched out on her front, lying across his bed, naked except for her thong... that magnificent cross tattoo on full display for the first time, at least for him.

She had her arms curled round his pillow, glossy raven hair spread over her shoulders. Looking back over her shoulder at him, her emerald eyes gleamed and a devilish grin graced her lips.

She was as sexy as hell and Gibbs was beyond tempted to forget the massage and take her right now. But a massage was what he'd promised her and a massage was what she was going to get... even if it half killed him in the process.

Swallowing hard, Gibbs approached the bed, letting his eyes drift over the soft skin of her back, the swell of the side of her breasts teasing him as they were pushed into the mattress by her weight, the curve of her tight ass and long slender legs.

Abby gestured to the bedside table, not sure he'd seen the bottles yet as he seemed unable to tear his eyes away from her. Flattering as that was, she was itching to move the evening on. "Pick your caffeine fix, Gibbs."

He dragged his eyes away from her ass and moved to the table, intrigued. Picking up the two bottles, he started laughing.

Edible massage oils... one coffee flavour... one mocha.

Meeting her sparkling gaze, he grinned, shaking his head. "Mocha is not caffeine, Abbs."

"I'll have that one then... when it's my turn." Seeing his eyes darken further at her words, she continued, amusement colouring her husky voice. "I know you prefer your caffeine hit... undiluted."

Chuckling, he reached for the neck of his sweatshirt and pulled it off, followed by his sweatpants, enjoying the look on her face as he stripped, the way her eyes roamed over his body. When he made no move to pull off his boxers, he could have predicted the pout that broke out, with that bottom lip that cried out to be nibbled.

"Not fair, Gibbs."

"Well, you've still got your thong on," he pointed out, eyes lingering over her ass, fingers itching to trace over her curves.

"Think there's less material in that than there is in your boxers." As much as she was enjoying the view again of his bare chest with its smattering of silver-gray hair, she really, _really_ wanted to get him naked.

"Yeah, I noticed." If he was going to keep any control while he massaged her, he needed some kind of barrier between them. Gibbs suspected that the first touch of complete skin on skin would rapidly shatter any self control he had left.

Grabbing the coffee flavour, he climbed onto the bed and settled himself over her, straddling her hips. Abby sighed as she felt the warmth of his skin against her legs. When he didn't move further, she looked over her shoulder to see him poised, almost on all fours, staring intently at her back.

"Forgotten what comes next, Gibbs?" she teased.

Gibbs reached down and pulled the elastic of her thong with a snap, causing her to giggle. "First time I've seen this tat... all of it." She was struck silent by his tone... he sounded almost moved.

Gibbs took his time, letting his eyes drink in every delicate line, every intricate whorl... dark ebony against her soft ivory skin. Promising himself that he'd follow his eyes soon with fingers, tongue and lips, he first wanted to look his fill... take his time to study this work of art for the first time.

He'd seen the top half of the cross when she'd worn the memorable Marilyn Monroe dress and turned every man in the building, and quite a few women, into hormonal teenagers. The tattoo and the soft silky skin of her back had transfixed him then... seeing all of it now was simply stunning.

"Beautiful," he murmured, bending to slowly place a gentle kiss on the very centre of the cross.

Abby sighed, feeling a shiver skitter down her spine at the simple gesture, touched by his tenderness. She felt his hands brush against her neck and slide into her hair, beginning a slow sensuous massage of her scalp, fingers moving in gentle circles. Unable to suppress a moan, she was amazed at the sensations he was producing and yet he'd hardly begun.

She was going to be a pile of goo by the end of the night at this rate.

Enjoying the feel of her silky hair over his fingers, he worked his way gradually over her scalp to her temples and back down onto her neck, hearing her sigh and seeing her eyes flutter closed.

Gibbs sat back and brushed her hair carefully off her shoulders, leaving her back bare. He undid the bottle of massage oil, pouring some into his palms and rubbed his hands together.

Curious, he sniffed at the oil, his senses registering the familiar coffee flavour. Watching him over her shoulder, Abby chuckled at the expression on his face... it was just the same as when he'd been deprived of coffee all day and was getting a first fix. She was going to have trouble not thinking of this moment the next time she saw him with coffee... which, after all, was nearly all the time.

He caught her eye. "Which muscles were the most painful, Abbs? Be honest."

She thought for a moment. "Shoulders mostly... and calves."

He nodded and leaned forward. "Tell me if this hurts," he told her, gently.

"Hmmm."

She felt the warmth of his flesh as he skimmed his hands lightly over her back, causing her nerve endings to strain upwards in an attempt to make contact.

When he eventually did make contact, she was unable to suppress a moan and arched her back as his hands landed lightly on her shoulder blades... not till then an erogenous zone, or so she thought. Although at this rate, the longing she felt for this man's touch was turning her whole body into one quivering hotspot.

Starting with feather light strokes, he smoothed his hands up over her shoulders, gliding back and forth over each individual muscle. He gradually increased the pressure as he discovered knotted muscles under his powerful fingers. She felt his hands dig in more firmly, easing the tension out of each solid knot, sinking his fingers deep into each muscle as he soothed and loosened each one. Long fingers slid over her neck, the aroma of coffee reaching her nose as the oil warmed under the heat of his hands.

Easing the massage off into light strokes when he reached the bruised areas on her neck, he just soothed the oil gently into the skin with soft strokes. Sliding out along the line of her shoulders, he encouraged her to move her arms within reach, one at a time, leaving her head resting on the pillow.

He worked his way slowly down each arm, gliding his fingers over her skin, alternating between kneading firmly at each muscle or swirling softly with just his fingertips. He traced the infinity symbol tattoo on her forearm gently, wondering how many new tats he was going to see tonight.

Turning her arm over, he paused as he circled the healing cut on her forearm, the stitches standing out starkly against the pale skin.

"This sore?" he asked, quietly.

"Hmm?" Abby struggled to focus beyond the haze of pleasure building up. "No, not any more," she managed to murmur.

Leaning forward to brush a soft kiss against the stitches, he left her arm and continued down to her hands, lifting each one to gently massage her palm and then each finger.

He dropped a soft kiss onto the small tattoos on her fingers, something he'd wanted to do for years as he saw them almost every day. He flicked his tongue against the inside of her right wrist, hearing her gasp as he made contact with the P symbol near her pulse point. He lavished the same treatment on the three triangles on the inside of her left wrist.

She felt him run his finger down along the line of her spine. He turned the finger slightly so the nail just made a light scraping contact with her skin as he went, causing every nerve ending in her body to sit up and shout '_whoa_.'

Hearing him undo the bottle again, she muffled a moan into the pillow as she felt a drizzle of oil being poured directly onto her skin. As Abby arched her back slightly, she shivered as she felt the oil slide slowly down the line of her spine. He followed it with his fingertips, spreading the oil lightly over the skin either side of her spine.

It was his thumbs she felt next, starting at the base of her back, digging into the muscles either side of her spine, pushing upwards slowly and steadily towards her shoulders. She couldn't suppress the groan at just how _good_ that felt on her muscles. His warm palms followed, pressing in firm circles up each side of her spine.

It was amazingly relaxing and stimulating, all at the same time. His fingers were strong and firm, the calluses on his hands catching lightly on her skin, teasing her nerve endings and leaving goosebumps in their wake.

She didn't realize how knotted her shoulders had become, either from the stress of the past few days, the effects of the muscle spasms from the drugs or the tension that had built up by feeling frustrated at being ill and not able to take him to bed.

She felt herself sinking into the mattress, giving herself over to him completely.

"You missed your calling," she told him, voice soft.

"Mmm?" he queried.

"You'd make a fortune as a masseur... That is just... _so _good."

She heard his low chuckle. "Bear that in mind if Vance finally chucks me out on my ass."

Abby had fantasized about his hands for years, what they would feel like on her body. The reality was exactly as she'd imagined and... _oh_ so much more.

Gibbs had massaged her shoulders before at work when she'd been tense or stressed, both giving comfort and relaxing her. But that was through several layers of clothing and upright in a chair in her office. Half naked in his bed with his hands on her bare skin raised it to an entirely different level of sensuous experience.

Although she'd suspected that those powerful hands could give fantastic massages, the level of loving tenderness she felt flowing from him now was overwhelming.

His unwavering focus on a tough case when he demanded results with his usual impatience meant she'd already experienced a little of that intensity over the years. She'd also been the focus of his care and attention when she was upset. But she'd yet to be the sole object of that complete focus and attention... to know what it was like to feel his absolute absorption.

He was looking at her now with a hungry intensity that took her breath away. It was similar to the look of intense concentration he had whenever he was working with wood, patiently building or carving.

Gibbs ghosted his hands over her sides, brushing softly against the curve of her breasts but not lingering, despite Abby arching off the bed to encourage his hands to wander further, knowing it would test both their control if he did.

Her hips were the focus of his attention next, avoiding her ass, despite her wriggling it at him in an attempt to lure him closer. He heard her throaty chuckle, which only served to harden him further. Scooting down the bed, he turned his attention to her legs, sliding his hands smoothly down her thighs and over her calf muscles, digging in to relieve each knot as he found it.

He picked up her foot and massaged the ball of her foot and arch, pressing in firmly, rubbing in circles, and smirked as he heard her groan.

_What was it about women and foot massages?_

Distracted by a tattoo he'd never seen before, three dots on her right ankle, he pressed a butterfly kiss to it, wondering at its meaning. Working his way gradually up her other leg but stopped when he reached the top of her thigh, despite the temptation to slide his fingers near her heat.

_God, he could smell her arousal._

It was becoming more difficult to rein himself in, but he was determined she was going to come at least once under just his hands and mouth before he buried himself deep inside her.

Pouring more oil into his hands, he rested his hands on the swell of her ass, massaging firmly in circles on her taut curves, alternating between stroking and kneading.

Seeing her spread out, soft and boneless, her silky skin shining from the oil, he smiled. It was the most relaxed he'd seen her for days.

Leaning over her on all fours, the coffee scent filling his nose, he brought his mouth down to plant a soft kiss on her neck, murmuring, "You doin' okay?"

Abby turned her face to smile lazily up at him. "Perfect," came the soft murmur. She reached her hand up to pull his face down and kissed him softly.

He nuzzled his way to her neck, kissing his way over her spider web tattoo, delighting in being able to explore something that had been under his nose for years.

Gibbs began trailing soft kisses across her shoulders and arms, hearing her purr her appreciation. As he reached each tattoo, he pressed a kiss to the flower in the centre of her back and then bestowed the same tenderness on the stick figures adorning each shoulder blade. At the first touch of his tongue that followed, Abby gasped as he traced each line.

Now he had the right, he was mentally cataloguing every intricate design, learning every inch.

Relaxed and loose under his strong hands, she now felt her senses stirring again as he began a teasing assault on her skin, bringing her very firmly awake again.

As he licked and kissed her skin, the coffee flavour of the massage oil mixed with the unique taste of Abby, the combination a heady mix that he could quickly become addicted to.

Teasing, nibbling and suckling his way down her back muscles to her butt, he pulled down her thong slowly. She eased herself off the bed to help and he flung it over his shoulder, not caring where it landed. He began placing biting kisses over her ass, still kneading and stroking with his fingers, coming slowly ever closer to her heat, hearing her whimper underneath him.

"Oh god, _pl-e-ase_?"

"Patience, Abbs." His voice sounded strained, revealing just how much this was affecting him too.

She groaned, not sure how he was holding out and wondering how much longer he was going to drive her crazy. "Patience? There's only so much patience in the world."

She was wriggling and squirming, trying to get some friction on her nipples and pressing her thighs together in an attempt to ease her swollen clit. She heard his low chuckle. He knew exactly what she was doing.

Gibbs was already achingly hard but his desire intensified when the scent of her arousal surrounded him, combined with the familiar smell of coffee.

If this image was going to surface every time he smelled coffee, given how often he did precisely that every day, he was in big trouble. He drew a shaky breath, trying to rein himself in, which was not helped by the mewing sounds of pleasure she was making.

Abby was desperate for him to be nearer her core but he ghosted his fingers down her ass and then across her thighs, skirting close but not close enough.

At this rate, she was going to come at the first touch... the combined feel of his hands, mouth and tongue driving her need ever higher.

She felt him lean over her and a moan slipped out as his tongue traced the outline of her ear, making her shiver before a gravelly voice sounded in her ear, "Turn over."

_Oh god, at last._

She rolled over, looking up at him on all fours over her, his large frame covering her completely, dominating her view.

_Was there a hotter sight anywhere than this alpha male leaning over her?_

She ran her eyes over him, up the powerful arms and shoulders, over the chest and down his body to... _oh drat, those blasted boxers. _She'd momentarily forgotten about those blocking her view.

Gibbs was doing his own visual inventory, seeing her laid bare to him for the first time, breath taken by just how lovely she was, feeling his need ratchet up even further. Beautiful hand-sized breasts with rosy tips he just ached to fasten his mouth onto. Previously unseen tattoos on her hips just cried out to be explored. Long slender legs he wanted to feel wrapped around his waist.

Abby ran her hands over his chest, carding through his chest hair before wrapping one hand round his neck to try to pull him closer, feeling her breath catch at the predatory look on his face.

He resisted for a moment, eyes raking slowly over her... his gaze so heated, she could almost feel it as a caress.

She saw a brief flash of a fierce grin and heard his possessive growl of "Mine" before his mouth crashed down on hers.

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><p>AN: Well, that seemed a natural break point there, didn't it? What do you mean no? ;) Bamacrush commented that I could 'dare to break it there'... or was it 'DON'T you dare break it there?' Come to think of it, it might have been the latter... oops. I really must get these do's and don'ts sorted out. *grin*

Fear not... the smut bunny is completely OD on all this chocolate you've been sending, not to mention highly entertained by this piano playing wombat that dropped in, so she'll be raring to go in the next chapter... honest. When have I ever let you down? Don't answer that...

I'd also like to point out that the massage above only covered her front... long way to go yet... I'm just saying! *grin*


	20. Chapter 20: New Memories

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: Well, I seem to have got to chapter 20 before the smut… how did that happen? Must be a record for me! As Bamacrush put it so succinctly the other day, 'somebody may someday actually get laid!' Hope you don't find this an anti-climax, as it were. *grin* Talldi provided me with a very hot visual image of Abby's long legs, which I immediately had to borrow!

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><p><strong>Chapter 20 - <strong>**New Memories**

_She saw a brief flash of a fierce grin and heard his possessive growl of "Mine" before his mouth crashed down on hers._

His kiss was hungry and demanding, his tongue sweeping inside to duel with hers as he dominated her mouth, his hands coming up to cradle her head.

Abby wrapped her arms round his neck, feeling an intense wave of longing rise up for this man. Kissing him frantically, she gave Gibbs back everything she felt… passion, lust, desire, love. Arching against him, she felt his hardness through those damn boxers. The taste of coffee, mingled with Gibbs, was intoxicating. He tasted of coffee usually but it was double strength now with all the flavored oil he'd licked off her body.

Gibbs felt his control slipping away. All he'd wanted was a little taste. As she lay stretched out seductively underneath him, she looked so tempting, taking his breath away as he ran his eyes over her every curve.

Trying to calm down, he slowed his kisses to become deep and languid. His hands wound their way into her hair as he mapped her mouth, teasingly. Gibbs pulled back slowly, nibbling and tugging on her bottom lip as he broke the kiss and sat up, seeing her flushed face and dazed eyes.

He waited till she focused on his face, grinning at her. "Haven't finished your massage yet, Abbs."

_Seriously? _

He was trying to kill her. She was going to come apart very soon.

Apart from a few places on her back, most of her sensitive spots were on her front… or so she thought till Gibbs massaged her back and drove her half out of her mind. She wouldn't be able to hold out for more than a few touches before she shattered if he kept this up. When she got her hands on the mocha massage oil, she was going to enjoy payback.

She'd never heard Gibbs beg, but she was sure as hell going to have some fun trying to make him.

Picking up the bottle of oil, Gibbs hesitated… and looked down at her with what could only be described as a devilish glint in his eyes, and a grin broke out… the one that always made her stomach flip over.

_Oh god, what was he up to now?_

She'd gone from boneless and relaxed to tense and on edge, feeling almost unbearable anticipation in the space of a few minutes.

Leaning down again, she watched as he poured a very slow trickle of oil onto her chest. Sighing at the sensation, she felt the oil slide sinuously over both breasts, into her cleavage and on down over her stomach in a tickling dribble. She saw his rapt attention as he followed the path the oil took as it swirled over her curves, helped by her panting for breath, her chest heaving.

Her imagination provided her with vivid images of what was going to happen next.

Trailing his fingers gently, following the line of the oil, Abby gasped as she felt his touch graze over her breasts… _finally._

Cupping one breast in his large warm palm, he bent his head to the other, pausing to lock gazes with her before fastening his mouth over the nipple, suckling it into his mouth. Crying out and arching towards him as she felt his tongue, the zing going straight to her core.

Abby grabbed his head, partly to keep him against her and partly to have something solid to hang on to as he drove her crazy.

Kneading with his hand and rolling her nipple between his fingers, she felt him spread the warm oil sensuously over her skin, as his tongue flicked and swirled over the other breast. Nibbling and suckling, he tasted more coffee as he worshipped her breasts, feeling her nails scrape through the short hair on the back of his head.

_Oh yeah, he was in big trouble. _

The coffee that ran through his veins would now take on a whole new meaning. He'd see and taste Abby now whenever he drank it.

He flicked his thumb back and forth over her hard nipple while he kissed and bit down gently on the other. Moaning his name in a breathy sigh, Abby started writhing beneath him. He grinned against her skin, feeling her trembling, loving the needy sounds she was making.

Abby was struggling to concentrate. She still hadn't managed to get him out of his boxers yet. She could just about reach them from here… and she would if she were able to actually gather her wits enough to move. And she would too, if only his hands weren't… and his mouth wasn't…

"Oh god."

She didn't think she'd verbalized that last mental groan but from the low chuckle that reverberated against her skin, she figured she must have.

Dragging his mouth away from her breasts, Gibbs chased the drizzle of oil down her stomach with his tongue, feeling her squirming beneath him. She giggled as he dipped his tongue into her belly button.

_Ah, __found a ticklish spot. Good to know._

Sitting up and trying to control his ragged breathing, he smoothed his slick hands over her hips, massaging the oil further. He saw her head fall back on the pillow, eyes fluttering closed. He was achingly hard and needed to slow things down again or he'd never last.

As he explored further, his fingers stilled above one more new tattoo… Abby as a bat. One that of course he'd never seen before but he _knew_ this design. He looked up to catch her eye and she gave him a soft smile, nodding as she saw him recognize it.

"Is this…?" he asked, before pausing, unable to continue past the sudden lump in his throat.

Abby sat up and cupped his face, seeing how moved he was. "Yeah, it is," she told him, softly. "I loved that drawing Kate did of me. After she died, I wanted… needed a permanent memory of her. Do you like it?" She gently trailed her fingers out to his shoulder, where the scar from Ari's bullet marred the tanned skin, his own harsher reminder of Kate.

"It's beautiful," he murmured, fingers tracing the pattern slowly. He had a feeling he'd quickly grow to love her memory of Kate far more than the permanent hollow feeling he carried around inside him, along with his scar.

Gibbs kissed her softly, sharing a tender smile. As Abby leant back on her elbows, he bent down to study the design more closely, trailing his fingers gently over every line of the tattoo. He pressed a kiss to it, nuzzling his cheek against her skin… feeling his urgency drain away as the memories welled up, threatening to overwhelm him.

He felt her fingers softly threading through his hair. "C'mere."

She relaxed back against the pillow and pulled his head towards her, running her fingers tenderly over his cheeks, searching his eyes. "She would have loved this… us."

"She knew?" he asked, softly, amazed even now that Abby had wanted him for so many years.

Abby smiled at him tenderly. "She knew how I felt about you… she guessed." She'd confided in her friend years ago, when she thought there was no chance of him feeling the same way, crying on Kate's shoulder when her longing frequently became too much.

He bent his head to slowly kiss her. Some investigator he was.

While Kate was still alive, he'd had no idea Abby wanted him. He was moved beyond words that she'd waited for him for so long. Regret for what he'd put her through over the years washed through him… Mexico… Hollis… Jenny… the pain she must have felt as they both held back.

The kiss stayed tender and soft, lingering and teasing... full of love. His tongue slid over hers, stroking gently and she couldn't suppress a soft moan at the sensation. Pulling back slightly, their breaths mingled as their lips brushed lightly together. When the kiss ended, they gazed at one another, sharing soft smiles, both almost overwhelmed by their emotional connection.

Gibbs nuzzled his way down her neck, pressing butterfly kisses down over her shoulders and chest, slowing to a leisurely, unhurried pace. Swirling his tongue around her nipples and over the curve of her breasts, and kneading with his fingers, he felt her start to squirm beneath him. He heard her sigh as he licked his way slowly down her stomach to her hips, trailing his fingers over the bat again.

Reaching for the bottle again, he poured more oil into his hands, before smoothing his hands down the front of her legs, avoiding where she wanted him the most, despite her needy whimpers. Following the path of his fingers with his mouth, he nipped and licked his way down her legs, one at a time before returning to nuzzle over her inner thighs. Gibbs smiled against her skin as she arched towards him, her head thrashing from side to side on the pillow, her moan going straight to his cock.

"Oh god, I'm so close," her voice almost a half-sobbing moan as the sensations built inside her.

She could feel her inner muscles starting to clench, a sure warning she was nearly there and he hadn't even touched her anywhere near her clit yet. There was no way she was going to last out when he finally did… _if _he did.

He had developed teasing to a fine art.

She felt his hot breath on her skin and spread her legs, needing him desperately _there._ She heard him chuckle and hesitate… she looked up, glaring at him as she saw his smug smile.

He kept his eyes locked on hers before dipping his head and pressing a kiss to her throbbing clit, flicking his tongue hard across the bundle of nerves. She couldn't contain her hoarse cry as she felt him suckle firmly, holding her hips down as she tried to buck towards his face. That touch was all it took and suddenly she was coming… intense waves rolling over her as she trembled, riding out her orgasm as she felt the spasms rip through her.

The world faded out for a few minutes and even after her breathing started to calm, aftershocks still quivered through her. When she could see again, Abby looked down the line of her body to see Gibbs lying with his head on her thigh, an insufferably smug smile on his face.

Laughing, she beckoned him closer and as he rose up to move towards her, she managed to wrap her legs tightly around his hips. Tightening her grip, she used the strength in her legs to virtually drag him up the bed and on top of her… both of them groaning at the first skin on skin contact… or nearly complete skin on skin.

_Those damn boxers would just have to go__…now._

Abby wrestled Gibbs onto his side, hearing him giving way to laughter as she did so, and grabbed his boxers in both hands, easing them down over his hips. She felt a grin curve her lips at the first impressive sight of him in front of her… bare, hard, throbbing.

Before she could move further, he'd rolled them back over, pressing her to the bed. She trailed her hand between them, hearing him groan as she wrapped her fingers around his length, feeling him thrust into her hand. Abby ran her thumb over the sensitive head, smoothing the pre-cum around and over the tip, his cock jerking in her hand.

But Abby hadn't finished yet.

He may have taken the edge off her desire with that sudden, intense orgasm but she _really, really_ needed to feel him inside her. She was desperate to feel that long, strong body pinning her down and driving into her. Torn between wanting to see him, touch him, feel him, taste him, she settled for crossing her legs behind his butt, pulling him insistently towards her.

He grinned down at her, feeling her heels dig into his ass, urging him on and settled himself fully against her. Rocking her hips, Abby could feel his hardness grinding against her, a jolt going through them both.

_Oh god, he felt so good._

He growled into her neck, feeling her wet heat rubbing against him. She moaned and he felt the ripple shiver straight down his spine to his cock.

He was harder than he could remember in a long time.

He shifted his weight and guided himself to her entrance.

"Look at me, Abbs."

She opened dazed eyes and blue locked with green as he slid slowly, surely, teasingly… home. She was so wet, he was able to enter in one smooth thrust till he was buried to the hilt. He rested some of his weight on his forearms, hands either side of her head, cradling her face and with their bodies pressed close together.

The feeling of being inside her warm tightness was incredible. Gibbs could feel her muscles pulsing around him and he stilled, resting his forehead against hers, his breathing ragged as he threatened to lose it.

Abby was equally lost. He felt just wonderful, filling and stretching her. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, pulling him as deep as possible, feeling her world shrink to the intoxicating feel of him over her… inside her… around her.

Gradually reeling his control back in, he began rotating his hips in a slow, teasing rhythm and she moved with him, undulating against him.

Gibbs pulled out almost all the way before sliding back in, balls deep, setting a strong, steady pace. Wrapping a hand in her hair again, he bent his lips to hers, his tongue mimicking the action of their lower bodies as he kissed her senseless. Changing the angle of his thrusts, Gibbs sped up, driving them higher and higher. His focus narrowed to how she felt… how she tasted… how she sounded… how she moved underneath him.

He was rapidly approaching the point of no return.

Abby arched against him, nails scoring his back as she felt another release building and crashing over her.

"Oh God, Jethro."

Hearing his Christian name burst from her lips in a throaty cry for the first time was the final straw, and Gibbs growled into her neck, biting down. Shifting his hips, he slid his hands under her shoulders, bracing himself as he started thrusting almost erratically, deeper, faster, harder, as his world blanked out and he came… spending himself inside her in long, pulsating bursts.

He was only vaguely aware of Abby coming with him, unraveling beneath him as her body shuddered, arms and legs gripping him hard. He felt her teeth in his shoulder and buried his face in her neck, muffling his groan as she clenched around him.

Gibbs continued stroking slowly in and out, drawing it out for both of them as they came down from their high. Wrapping his arms tightly round her, he gradually stilled his movements, undulating his hips gently, feeling the aftershocks still skittering through them both.

Lying quietly together, she wound her arms round his neck, nuzzling into him, relishing their closeness, the feel of his weight, the warmth of his skin. Waiting till his breathing had calmed down, Gibbs raised his head, seeing her flushed face and parted swollen lips.

Hazy green eyes opened and a lazy, grin curved her lips. He caught his breath as the face from his many fantasies looked right back at him… sated, content, satisfied.

Smiling, Gibbs brushed Abby's hair off her damp forehead and bent his head to tug on her bottom lip, feeling her smile against his mouth. Sliding out of her gently, he was still very tempted to stay where he was, but was conscious she was bearing his full weight.

Trying to pull away he didn't get very far. Abby had other ideas, wrapping her arms and legs more firmly around him.

"Don't move," came the husky murmur.

"I'm too heavy, Abbs." Even though he was taking some of his weight on his arms, it had to be getting uncomfortable for her.

She shook her head, smiling tenderly. "Not yet." She loved the feel of his weight and heat pinning her down.

He relaxed against her, letting his head rest against her shoulder, feeling her arms curl around him, both absorbing the peace and contentment of the moment.

"That was…" She trailed off, her throaty voice almost like a purr.

"Uh-huh." He nuzzled the skin on her neck. A thought occurred to him and he couldn't resist asking her, "Still think I've forgotten what to do, Abbs?"

Laughter bubbled up and she reached down to pinch his butt. He snorted with amusement and attacked her sides. Squealing, she frantically tried to wriggle out from under him and he grabbed both her hands, easily pinning her arms to the mattress, grinning down at her.

Abby pulled his head down into a slow, lingering, teasing kiss, feeling overwhelmed again that he was here in her arms.

Gibbs settled onto his back, pulling her against him, unwilling to relinquish any contact. Abby spread herself across his chest, nuzzling into him. He felt her body relax against his, legs tangling, soft curves moulding to his body as she rested her head on his shoulder. Picking up her hand, he entwined their fingers, thumb tracing over the skin on the inside of her wrist, hearing her give a contented sigh. He wrapped his other arm around her, tracing patterns on her back.

As much as Gibbs enjoyed getting to the stage where he knew a woman's body so well that he could make her writhe under his hands and mouth with just a few touches, there was something very special about the first few times. Learning what she liked… discovering what drove her wild… exploring every inch… interpreting the gasps, moans and sighs… mentally cataloguing what caused the most reaction.

He loved bringing the same level of concentration to making love as he did to building a boat. He looked down at the woman lying in his arms. There was a lot to explore yet and he was going to enjoy every minute.

Gibbs felt completely relaxed for the first time in what seemed like forever. Holding her like this, he couldn't imagine feeling any more contented and complete.

He pulled up the comforter over them both, wrapping his arms more firmly round her, hearing her breathing even out.

It wasn't long before both of them relaxed into sleep.

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><p>AN: You see… you did get some smut, oh ye of little faith… and there'll be more.


	21. Chapter 21: Lazy Morning

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: isn't letting me reply to reviews (again!) so apologies if I've missed anyone. Your continued support for what is turning into a marathon is just awesome.

Think we can let Abby have a bit more of a fluffy interlude before she has to face that footage, don't you? The shower scene in this is just for With The Grain and Bamacrush *grin*

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><p><strong>Chapter 21 <strong>**– Lazy Morning**

Abby's first thought on drifting awake next morning was…

_No nightmares..__._

She wasn't naïve enough to think she'd seen the last of them, but any night which ended without one could only be good.

And any morning which started off with the traditional male salute to the morning digging into her ass was just about perfect too.

_My turn__…_

… was her second, more gleeful thought as she registered that Gibbs was spooned behind her, hand resting on her hip. By his deep, even breathing, he seemed to be still asleep… except for one part of his anatomy which was very much awake.

Abby resisted the urge, but only just, to grind back against his hardness and turned over carefully, trying not to wake him.

Gibbs stirred and moved onto his back but didn't appear to wake. She lay gazing at him while he slept. He looked relaxed, the lines around his eyes and mouth softened. It was the most unguarded she'd seen him in a long time and he looked younger, more content without his usual mask in place.

It was a sight she wanted to wake up to from now on.

Resisting the urge to run her fingers over his handsome face, she shifted on the bed. Stretching, she took an inventory, feeling her muscles deliciously sore for a much more interesting reason than they had been earlier in the week.

Before she'd got distracted by him last night, Abby had been doing a lot of thinking. There was something she needed to do today but first…

Moving carefully so as not to wake him, she grabbed the mocha massage oil off the bedside table. Sliding slowly under the covers, she tried to work her way stealthily south, stifling the urge to giggle. She'd settled herself by his legs, making a tent out of the comforter without pulling it off him too much.

She'd managed to pour some massage oil into her hands when a low voice rumbled out, still rough from sleep.

"Going somewhere, Abbs?"

_Busted_.

She might have known she couldn't out-sneak a sniper. She looked up, grinning at him as he raised the covers to peer in at her.

Gibbs couldn't help laughing at the picture she presented, looking like a mischievous elf with her hair all tousled and a cheeky grin on her face. He'd been woken up when she'd started squirming down the bed.

"Just saying good morning," came the husky reply as she rubbed her hands together, spreading the oil. "It's my turn."

Any reply he might have made was cut off as a warm hand, slick with oil, wrapped itself round his cock, causing him to gasp and arch off the bed.

Throwing back the covers so at least he could see before he lost the ability to form a coherent thought, he watched as Abby's fingers trailed up and down his length, spreading the oil generously all over his cock and balls.

Giving him a wicked grin as he shifted under her touch, she poured more oil into her hands, stroking her hands down his legs, massaging the firm thigh muscles, feeling the roughness of at least one scar under fingertips.

Leaning down, she kissed her way slowly along his thighs, alternating between nipping and licking before grazing her teeth up along one hip. Moving over to pay attention to the other hip, her hair brushed tantalizingly over his hardness, hearing his low moan as she did so.

Hands trailing softly over his stomach, she felt the muscles contract under her touch as she stroked ever closer to where he wanted… but not close enough. She heard his strained, "Abbs," and his hips shifted, trying to push his erection towards her hands. Chuckling as she enjoyed her payback, she teased him with just her fingertips moving slowly over his thighs, scraping lightly with her nails, inching ever nearer.

Settling herself between his legs, Abby finally put her hands on his hardness again. She began caressing him firmly, keeping the pace slow, and massaging his balls, hearing him groan as she tormented him.

Gibbs felt his breath catch as he saw her lean forward and rest her face against his length, nuzzling into him, smiling seductively, green eyes sparkling. "Something you want, Jethro?"

_She expected him to speak?__... Now?_

Not sure he could even remember his own name, never mind say what he wanted to in English… or even in Russian come to that… all he could do was give a low moan, his body aching with need. Hearing her throaty chuckle, he tried to concentrate through a haze of lust and was finally able to grind out, "Need you… now."

Taking pity on him, she waited till he made eye contact, blue eyes dark and intense, before turning her head and running her lips against him, her tongue flicking out.

He watched mesmerized as her hand was joined by a warm tongue licking its way slowly up his hard length to swirl over the swollen and dripping tip. Lapping at the head, she licked up the drops of pre-cum, feeling his hand rest on her head, tangling in her hair, hearing him groan.

Feeling her tongue move over the sensitive tip, he saw himself disappear slowly into those lips he'd fantasized about for years doing precisely this, and felt himself harden even further.

Suckling hard on the tip, she felt him swell in her mouth and flattened her tongue against the underside of the head before setting up a steady rhythm. Bobbing her head up and down, she took him in as far as she could before lifting her head to lick over the head on each stroke.

He fisted his hands in the sheets, giving himself over to the incredible sensations she was producing.

Loving the taste of him combined with the mocha flavor, she used her hands to stroke in a firm counter rhythm to her mouth. She'd always been good at this and had imagined doing this to Gibbs more times than she could count.

Seeing him writhing underneath her ministrations, knowing she was responsible for driving his iron control to the limit, logging his reactions… harder _here… _linger on _this _bit… softer _there…_ turned her on more than she thought possible.

Did she say earlier that she couldn't think of a hotter sight?

She was wrong.

Looking up along the line of his body, she could see his back arched off the bed, his neck straining and hands holding the headboard in a death grip.

Delighted that she was responsible for doing that to him, she hummed her contentment, which caused him to groan even more as he felt the sensation zing right through him.

A cheeky thought crossed her mind and she let him slip slowly from her mouth, resting her cheek against his shaft. "Perhaps I should stop before you break the headboard."

_What?__!_

He raised his head and glared down at her, voice hoarse and strained. "I'll make another one, goddammit, just don't stop."

_Wow, made him beg after all._

The chuckle that began in her throat ended wrapped around his cock as she took him back into her mouth, the vibration causing him to curse and buck his hips. She set to work again and drove him relentlessly higher until she heard him growl her name as he came… hard.

She hung on as he rode out his orgasm, holding him in her mouth, licking him clean as he softened. Gently caressing him with her hands, she slowly released him. A satisfied smile on her lips, she crawled up his body, pausing to kiss her way over his chest.

As the world came back into focus again, Gibbs opened his eyes to see Abby grinning down at him, looking like a contented cat. He pulled her down into a toe curling kiss, tasting himself and the mocha oil, and wrapped his arms around her, feeling his heartbeat gradually calming.

She snuggled into him, chuckling as she heard his ragged breathing, feeling immeasurably pleased with herself. "I haven't massaged your back yet."

He groaned. "Don't think I can move yet, Abbs."

"Later then," she promised him before a mischievous thought struck her. "Do you think Tony would believe me if I told him mocha had passed your lips?" He snorted with amusement and she giggled before continuing, "It's a pity they don't do Caf!Pow flavor."

"You're not covering me in Caf!Pow, Abbs." He'd never live it down.

"Spoilsport. You plus Caf!Pow… could well be my ideal taste combination." She nuzzled his neck, relishing his closeness, trying to ignore the throbbing between her legs. Touching him as she hadn't been able to do last night had turned her on enormously.

When he thought his legs would support him once again, Gibbs decided it was time to take care of her. Although he had an older man's stamina and could generally last longer in bed, he was no longer a teenager and took a while to recover once he was spent.

That didn't mean he couldn't help relieve Abby's itch.

"Come take a shower with me, Abbs."

She raised her head and gave him such a lazily seductive smile that he felt his stomach flip over. "I'd like that. I've been going crazy since Wednesday imagining you in the shower."

He grinned at her. "Me too. Be nice to not have to take a cold one this time."

Scrambling from the bed, she held out her hand. Joining her, he threaded his fingers into her tousled hair and began kissing her slowly, thoroughly, as he backed her towards the bathroom. Moaning into his mouth, she could feel her need increasing, running her hands up his broad back and down over his butt as she pressed herself against him.

Breaking contact only long enough to turn on the shower, he helped her in and when the water was warm enough, positioned her under the stream of water before grabbing her shampoo.

Abby let the water soak her hair, holding her face up to the spray. Distracted by the feeling of his hard chest at her back, she felt his lips trailing soft, nipping kisses along her shoulders and onto her neck, moaning as he suckled the spot where it joined her shoulder. His hands laced into her hair and began massaging her scalp, spreading the shampoo. A simple hair wash under his strong hands just felt… _incredible… erotic._

"Always wanted to do this." His low, gravelly voice caused her to shiver.

Rinsing out the shampoo, his hand hesitated over the myriad bottles that had suddenly appeared in the shower. She giggled and threw him a look, handing him the conditioner, which he proceeded to spread slowly through her hair, running his fingers through the strands. Feeling cherished, she relaxed under his hands, humming her contentment as he rinsed her hair.

Before he could distract her further, Abby turned and reached for the shower gel, giving him a wide smile as she started running her hands over his front, delighting in exploring areas she didn't have time to, either last night or this morning. She couldn't see too clearly in the steamy shower… cataloguing every line and scar would have to wait till daylight, preferably spread out on the bed and with hours to leisurely explore.

She saw his eyes drift shut as he relaxed into her touch. He rested his hands on her hips as she washed his chest, carding her fingers through the hair there, scraping her nails lightly over his nipples, feeling his fingers flex and tighten over her hips as she did so.

She moved her hands over his broad shoulders and down his strong arms. She paused over the scar on his left shoulder, the bullet wound a present from Ari. She traced its outline gently before catching his eye. He nodded at her, reaching up to cover her hand. She leaned forward and ghosted a kiss over the scar.

Abby raised his hand and laced her fingers through his, massaging the palm of first one hand and then the other, tracing each line, scar and callous tenderly. She looked up at him, seeing his amused half smile. "I've always loved your hands, Jethro."

He tightened his hand around hers at her words and bent to kiss her softly, lips lingering, teasing and tugging on her bottom lip.

When she pulled back, sighing at the taste of him, she ran her hands down his stomach, feeling the ridge of another scar but not pausing this time, vowing to explore it later. He would tell her if he wanted to but she wouldn't push him. She felt her heart ache at just how many scars he must have. Her hands reached his hips and she squatted to soap down both legs. Straightening, she ran her hands firmly back up his legs and he quirked an eyebrow at her, knowing full well where she was headed.

She trailed her hands over his cock and balls, washing him gently, knowing he'd still be sensitive. He sucked in a shaky breath, closing his eyes at the tenderness of her hands, feeling himself stir under her touch but hoping she didn't expect too much from him yet because she'd be disappointed. When he opened his eyes and moved to speak, he saw her shake her head, looking up at him with an understanding smile.

"Turn round," she murmured.

Bracing himself against the wall, he obeyed and shivered as he felt her hands run down his back. Faced with the long muscular line of his back dipping in to his waist and that taut ass, she swallowed… another new discovery.

She'd always been aware of how big and powerful Gibbs was, towering over her when she wasn't in boots. Even when the heels of her boots made them level in height, his broad shoulders and large frame always meant that he seemed huge. When she was wrapped up in his arms, she virtually disappeared inside a bear hug.

So faced with the reality of a very _long_ back, she eagerly ran her hands over the line of his muscles, over his still slim hips and down over what she could see… and feel… was a mighty fine piece of ass. Face to face with him in bed last night, she'd not had an opportunity to get her hands on his butt, nor had she seen it clearly yet… but it was certainly worth the wait. She heard him groan as she kneaded and soaped each cheek, sliding her hands over his butt and on down his legs.

Exploring him with her hands was playing havoc with her own arousal and she drew in a shaky breath as she rinsed off the suds.

When she'd finished mapping his body with her hands, he turned round and she pulled his head down for a searing kiss. When they broke for air, he smiled down at her before urging her back under the shower spray.

Abby jumped as his hands returned, soapy with shower gel and started running over her skin, sliding over her stomach and up to brush against the underside of her breasts.

Letting her head fall back against his shoulder, she surrendered herself to the dizzying sensations his hands were producing as he washed away the oil. Cupping her breasts in his hands, Gibbs massaged and stroked, rolling her nipples in his fingers till she was panting and arching her back, trying to push her breasts further into his hands. Reaching up behind her to grab the back of his neck, she heard herself moaning as she writhed against him.

Chuckling into her neck, he asked, "Think they're clean yet, Abbs?"

She could barely get her lust fogged brain to work, never mind her voice. "Oh god… more… don't stop."

"No intention of stopping…" he promised her, "not till you scream my name."

Leaving her breasts, he ran his hands down over her hips and round to her ass, repaying the attention as he kneaded firmly, soaping as his hands roamed. Feeling his hands move ever closer to her thighs, she tried to thrust towards his hands but when she came nearer, he moved his hands tantalizingly just out of reach.

Enjoying the sounds she was making, he finally relented and slid his finger down to circle her clit, before sliding a finger inside, feeling her arch against his hand.

_Oh god_,_ at last._

She felt him add another long finger to the one already driving her half out of her mind, aware of him trailing them over her inner walls. Unable to stop a loud cry as his fingers brushed her g-spot, she bucked against his hand.

He kept up a steady rhythm, stroking in and out, brushing her g-spot each time and circling her clit with the fingers of his other hand. He wrapped himself firmly around her, cradling her as she trembled in his arms.

She was edging ever closer to the cliff edge… just a bit more… _right there_… and heard him growl into her ear, "Let it go, Abbs."

That was enough.

She could hold back no longer, screaming his name as she shattered underneath his hands. Shaking, she clung to him as she came down, feeling his arms go round her waist as her knees threatened to give way.

"I've got you, Abbs." He breathed into her ear, nuzzling her neck as she recovered.

"You sure did," laughing breathlessly, she turned and wound her arms round his neck, smiling up at him. He kissed her softly, teasingly, drawing it out.

They stood there in the shower, wrapped up together, relishing the close contact.

Before the water cooled completely, they got out and helped each other dry off, sharing soft smiles and gentle kisses. Finishing their routine in the bathroom, they moved into the bedroom.

Getting ready together was a novelty too. The past few mornings they'd each got dressed and undressed in the bathroom so as not to tantalize the other too much.

In the first honeymoon period of any relationship, Abby always thought there was something very erotic about watching someone get dressed as well as helping them get undressed… especially when that someone was as sexy as Gibbs. So she more than enjoyed her first view of him moving about the bedroom naked, watching him pull on clothes, seeing that taut ass covered by boxers.

Sensing Gibbs watching her too, she rummaged in his dresser for her underwear, grinning at him as he pulled on pants and T-shirt and then settled on the end of the bed as if to enjoy the show… which he was. Gibbs ran his eyes over her curves as she bent over, feeling himself stir again. She was just intoxicating.

Sliding on one of her favorites, a dark green bra with black lace edging and a thong, she moved past him only to have him snag her arm and pull her towards him. He wrapped his arms round her, nuzzling into her cleavage, kissing his way teasingly along the lacy edge of her bra. Sliding her arms round his shoulders, she enjoyed the feeling of his warm breath on her skin.

"You like it?" she asked, burying her nose in his wet hair as she stood between his legs.

He smiled against her skin. "Very much. Will like it even more when I take it off later."

She felt his callused hands roam over her back, sliding down to cup her ass, squeezing gently. She ran her hands through his hair before cupping his face, brushing a gentle kiss against his lips. "Thank you, for taking care of me for the last few days."

He searched her eyes, amazed at the depth of feeling he could see shining there. "What else would I do, Abbs?"

She smiled. "I know." One constant throughout all the years they'd known each other as friends was how much he always tried to protect her, to take care of her. She knew that would probably only intensify now they were together. "I just don't want you to think I take it for granted, that's all. Having you with me, it's been… I think it's been the difference between me being able to cope this week and me falling apart."

He shrugged, pressing a soft kiss to her cleavage. "Haven't felt I've made much difference," he told her, honestly. "Just felt helpless."

She rested her forehead against his. God, she loved this man. "Well, you have… a big difference. I couldn't have coped without you… just by you being near me. Holding me at night, soothing the nightmares."

"Did you…?"

She forestalled his question. "Nope, not a one last night. I know it's not the end of the nightmares, it can't be but last night I slept really well," she smirked, "you must have worn me out."

Pulling Abby towards him, needing her as close as possible, Gibbs rested his head against her chest, hearing the calming thud of her heartbeat. With Ducky's visit later and what they wanted to talk to her about, and Abby perhaps seeing the footage sooner rather than later, this felt like the precious calm before the storm.

The peace was shattered by Abby's stomach growling. Giggling, she confessed. "Oops, that's me.."

"Hungry, Abbs?" he observed, his lopsided grin breaking out.

Abby nodded vigorously. "Famished. Really, _really_ good sex makes me starving."

He huffed a laugh. "Better feed you then before you fade away."

Leaning back, hands on his shoulders, she grinned down at him. "Pancakes? Seeing as we're way past breakfast?"

"Thinkin' about it?" He slid his hands down over her ass and the back of her thighs, feeling her shiver under his touch.

Bending to press a quick kiss to his lips, she spun away from him. Dressing in comfortable and warm black pants and matching jumper, she finished it off with one of her black studded collars.

Abby watched as he dug out a sweatshirt that made her smile… his red hoodie. He saw her grin and quirked an eyebrow, questioningly.

"That's my favorite," she told him, blushing.

Looking down at it, he shrugged and held it out towards her. "You wear it then."

She shook her head. "Oh no, I mean it's my favorite when it's on _you_. You look way beyond hot in that." Every time she saw him in it, she just wanted to crawl up his front.

He shook his head, chuckling as he pulled it on. "It's just a sweatshirt, Abbs." He moved towards her and took the comb from her hand. "Let me. Always wanted to do this." He stood behind her and she felt him gently run the comb through her wet hair, tenderly easing out the tangles. She could get used to being spoiled like this.

When he'd finished, he wrapped his hands in her hair and buried his nose in it, breathing deeply as the scent of her shampoo filled his senses. "Sandalwood." He'd smelled it in the shower but couldn't resist getting close again to confirm it. Combined with her gunpowder perfume, it was a heady mix.

"I think I might need to do this next bit though," she teased, laughing, holding up her hair bands.

He laughed, holding his hands up. "Definitely out of my depth." He watched, intrigued, as she managed to put her hair evenly up in loose pigtails with practiced movements.

Unable to resist tugging on a pigtail as he turned away, he told her. "Have to put a mirror up in here for ya."

When he turned back, he saw Abby suddenly looking unsure, biting her lip and fidgeting with her hands. How had she gone from playful to uncertain in the space of a heartbeat?

"Are you sure?" Abby looked up and her eyes skittered away after a brief eye contact. "I mean, I don't want you thinking you've got make changes in here just for me. I can manage, you don't have to… You don't have to keep doing things for me, you know. I'm just not used to…"

He moved closer. "What? Me being nice?"

"No," she protested, shaking her head. "You're always nice to me. It's just… I'm not used to being spoiled like this and..."

"You're wondering where the cranky old bastard's gone?" He ran his fingers gently over her cheek.

"Yeah… I mean no…" she trailed off before continuing, sounding lost. "Well, yeah."

He chuckled. "He's still here, Abbs. Just figured you didn't need him these past few days."

"But I love that cranky old bastard, just as much as I do this new guy… this tender, caring man." She moved nearer, winding her arms round his neck. "I've seen flashes of this guy over the years but I'm also still getting to know him." She bit her lip, unsure if she should continue. "I just want normal. Just treat me… like me."

It was hard to explain but she didn't want anyone, especially Gibbs, treading on eggshells around her.

"I want normal too," Gibbs assured her.

"Normal is both of us back at work. Normal is you growling at me for results and me telling you science can't be rushed, and then I'll go galloping round the evidence and you'll get impatient and say, _Abby_, to make me focus," he chuckled as she did a passable imitation of his exasperated voice. "And normal is going to be spending time together outside work so we can figure out how this… us… will work."

He nuzzled his way over her cheek to her neck, pulling her closer. "Sounds good."

She sighed at his warm breath on her neck, relaxing against him. "I just don't want you doing anything you don't want to do… what you wouldn't do normally. "

He pulled back to look at her. "What if I want to, Abbs?"

For someone as feisty and independent as Abby, she could sometimes reveal a breathtaking vulnerability. She never seemed to believe she was worth any effort. He was crap with words but needed to make her believe she meant everything to him, that he wasn't just 'acting' nice because of what she'd been through.

She searched his eyes, moved by what she could see there. Smiling softly, she replied, "Then I'll stop protesting and say yes please, a mirror would be nice."

Giving him a thank you kiss, Abby was drawn to the window where she saw it had snowed in the night, not much but enough to add to the few inches already covering the yard from the week's cold spell. Growing up in the South, she loved the snow, even if she wasn't that keen on the cold.

"Think Toby and Emily will make it over today?" she asked. "The main roads should be cleared by now."

She felt his strong arms slide around her from behind, drawing her back against his chest. "Might not, Abbs. It's only a few inches but I don't think Ducky's Morgan will make it either."

Unable to resist a feed line like that, Abby giggled. "Well, we all know a few inches can make all the difference."

He snorted into her neck in amusement before swatting her on the ass.

A thought struck her. Remembering his reaction when she'd called him Jethro, shivering as she remembered his growl into her neck, she asked him hesitantly, "What is it about me calling you Jethro? I mean, is it okay for me to call you Jethro? I know I've always called you Gibbs but it just slipped out in the heat of the moment, and I kinda like it… you seemed to like it too."

He nuzzled her hair gently, "Love you using it. It's the way you say it… That husky voice would fry any man's brain cells."

TBC

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><p>AN: There's a couple of tiny bits in here specifically for Bamacrush and With The Grain, and something else for ncislove… which is also there for me coz I'm equally obsessed with that red hoodie ;)


	22. Chapter 22: Bad Timing

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews… guess I'm not the only one obsessed by that red hoodie then? A bit more fluff with Fornell and Emily before we get to what Abby has to face… Thanks to Bamacrush for helping me think through the end of this chapter.

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>**2** – **Bad Timing**

Abby sat at the kitchen table sipping coffee as Gibbs fixed pancakes for their late breakfast.

She loved watching him.

When they were just friends, she used to do it surreptitiously but now she could indulge herself… really look at him whenever she felt like it. Abby saw him every day at work, but she suspected that planting herself in front of him to gaze at his handsome face for long periods with a goofy grin on her face, or obviously checking out his ass as he walked past, might raise a few eyebrows…

Propped up in bed or sat like this, she could treat herself to a visual tour of his body and face, drinking him in, even if she did feel herself blushing when he caught her at it, blue eyes amused.

One thing that had surprised and delighted her was how tactile Gibbs was. He'd always been physically affectionate with her ever since they'd been close friends, but now they'd taken this step to become lovers, he couldn't seem to keep his hands off her.

He'd never respected the concept of her personal space anyway and now he was taking full advantage of it, touching her, planting kisses, wrapping her in his arms. He especially couldn't seem to keep away from her neck, the spider receiving more than its fair share of attention… all of which kept her body in a permanent state of tingling anticipation.

Perhaps it stemmed from how difficult Gibbs found it expressing his feelings in words, so he used his hands and body instead. Or perhaps it was the newness of their relationship and it would cool off once the 'honeymoon' period was over.

God, she hoped not since she couldn't keep her hands off him either.

She'd had a lot to think about during the last couple of days. Abby knew she had to follow up the footage sooner rather than later, but yesterday evening and this morning had been so special, she'd been loathe to break into what felt like an oasis in the midst of so much stress. So she'd grasped every opportunity to be distracted. She'd been prevaricating and that wasn't like her, normally. She'd have to tackle it today… sometime.

After breakfast, they both wrapped up and went outside, Gibbs to clear the pathway to the front door, Abby declaring that she was going to 'supervise', although she really intended just to ogle him as he worked.

Throwing her a skeptical look, he grabbed a shovel and set to work. Abby perched on the steps regularly offering gratuitous and totally unhelpful advice, punctuated with lots of laughter. Gibbs soon discarded his outer coat as he warmed up and she was able to enjoy a view of his butt as he bent over.

Taking a breather, he looked up, feeing his breath catch at seeing her lovely face. Abby was still looking mischievous, especially with the addition of a woolly hat and a scarf wrapped round her neck, green eyes sparkling with humor. He moved to start on the path round the side of the house, pausing to drop a quick kiss on her cold lips. As he moved away, a snowball landed beside him and he heard a muttered, "Missed."

Turning, he started stalking back towards her. Grinning, he grabbed a handful of snow, seeing her eyes widen as she shot to her feet. Backing down the driveway, she laughingly scrabbled to pick up enough snow to launch a snowball back before he could reach her.

Distracted by a car pulling up on the street and a joyful squeal of "Abby," they both turned to see Fornell's daughter, Emily, waving frantically out of the window. As soon as she could scramble out of the car, Emily launched herself over the snow towards Abby, arms outstretched.

Abby laughed delightedly and swept her up as Emily reached her, staggering back slightly under the whirlwind but hugging her close. At ten, Emily was getting a bit big to be picked up so easily but it was hard to resist as she was so very fond of the little girl. Not wanting to miss seeing her favorite aunt and uncle, Emily had begged her father to borrow a neighbor's SUV so they could make it through the snow. Emily soon spotted Gibbs coming down the path behind Abby and reached her arms across to hug him with an excited cry of "Uncle Jethro."

The unexpected shift in weight made Abby stagger and Gibbs was forced to steady both of them, suddenly finding his arms full of both of his girls.

_His girls… where had that come from?_

The sudden similarity to another memory hit him, of a time when the same thing had happened one winter in the snow with Shannon and Kelly. The sheer power of it rushed in, blindsiding him. Even Abby's laughter and her, "Take her, Jethro," as she handed Emily over so he could hold her properly, was an uncanny direct echo of Shannon's words from so long ago; the timbre of their voices being the only difference. Feeling overwhelmed, Gibbs found he couldn't speak and could only hug both of them close, trying to get himself under control.

Abby wrapped one arm round his waist, leaning her head on his shoulder as she laughingly ruffled Emily's hair. Emily was only too pleased to prolong the hug and buried her face in Gibbs' neck, giggling happily.

When Abby glanced up at him, she noticed something was amiss immediately. Before she could speak, Gibbs shook his head minutely, not trusting his voice quite yet. Abby looked from Emily to Gibbs and her eyes widened. He could almost see her make the connection, but he doubted even she'd made the full connection… how her actions had mirrored Shannon's.

Abby paled, her smile fading, suddenly unsure what to do. She settled for pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, squeezing his shoulder. She moved away to give him some space, leaving him holding Emily. Abby went down the pathway to intercept Fornell, who was unloading bags from the trunk.

"Hey, Toby." She hugged her friend, hoping to deflect him long enough so that Gibbs could recover his composure.

Tobias grinned at her. "Abbs, you're looking terrific. Much better than Thursday night."

"I'm feeling terrific, Toby. I'm not feeling sick any more. I'm rested, fed, muscles not sore," Or at least not for that reason, she thought, suppressing a giggle.

"Anything else, Abbs?" Fornell teased, seeing the hint of a blush.

Abby mock glared at him, lips curving in a smile. "Tobias Fornell, get your mind out of the gutter. Besides, you're too young and innocent to be thinking those thoughts."

Tobias grinned. "Being looked after by Gibbs obviously agrees with you. It'd bring on a relapse with me."

Swatting his shoulder, chuckling, Abby picked up a couple of bags. "What's in these?"

"We bought dessert, and Emily brought you a present."

"Aaaw, that's so sweet." She linked arms with Fornell, walking with him up the driveway.

She could see Gibbs had recovered his equilibrium from whatever had winded him just now, or was covering it up… which was the more likely option, knowing him. He'd abandoned clearing the pathway in favor of helping Emily start on a snowman, although that seemed to involve throwing snow at one another rather than actually starting on building anything.

"Before you two put all the snow Gibbs just cleared back onto the path, Emily, you can help me take these inside… and help me make hot chocolate." Seeing the expression on the men's faces, Abby giggled. "And coffee or we'll have a mutiny on our hands."

As Abby and Emily headed inside, Fornell looked on with an indulgent smile. "She's looks great, Jethro," smirking when he saw the look on Gibbs' face.

"Yeah, she sure does, Tobias."

"Any more nightmares?" Fornell asked.

"Nope," Gibbs shook his head, "not for the last two nights. She was very tired yesterday though."

Fornell snorted. "Yeah, I'll bet."

Shooting him a glare, Gibbs told him. "We went to the Navy Yard. Abby wanted to say hi to everyone. Think she overdid it."

"Bet she's eager to get back to work though… when Vance'll let her." Fornell knew the protocols following an incident such as this as well as Gibbs.

"Yeah," confirmed Gibbs, "she's got the psych eval on Wednesday so she can't till after that."

They were stopped from discussing it further as Emily reappeared carrying coffee for them both. Abby followed with mugs of chocolate for herself and Emily. Abby settled on the top step and Emily sat in front of her on the next step below, leaning back and snuggling into Abby.

Unable to resist the picture they presented, Fornell whipped out his camera, ignoring the smirk being fired his way from Gibbs as he recorded the scene. Every minute spent with his daughter was precious and he'd been reminded this week all too clearly how easy it was to lose friends too. Wanting to capture what time he had with Emily had prompted him to carry the camera with him every time he had his daughter for the weekend, trying to cram as many memories as he could into the short time he was allowed to spend with her.

"You two look like a mischievous elf and a pixie," Fornell laughed as he snapped away.

Remembering how he'd thought the same about Abby, although in slightly different circumstances this morning, Gibbs almost choked on his coffee as he turned away to hide his laughter.

Abby put down her mug and hugged Emily from behind, smiling up at Tobias. "We're just getting our strength up so we can beat you two in a snowball fight."

"You think you can take us on, do ya? A Marine sniper and an FBI agent?" boasted Tobias.

Abby leaned down to whisper in Emily's ear. "Sounds like a challenge, kid, you up for it? The honor of womanhood is at stake."

Emily giggled, nodding vigorously. "Oh yeah, we can take 'em."

"You're on." Tobias smiled. "Come on Gibbs, let's show 'em how it's done."

"You go ahead, Tobias. I'll come rescue you when I've finished. You can hold the line, can't ya?"

Abby got up, laughing and pointing at Gibbs. "Huh, you just don't wanna get your butt kicked by a couple of girls, Gibbs."

Gibbs narrowed his eyes at her and reached down for some more snow. Abby burst out laughing and ran off into the back yard before he could take aim.

"Come on, dad." Emily grabbed his hand and dragged him after Abby.

Chuckling, Gibbs set to work, finishing off the pathway. He was very fond of Emily and didn't spend as much time with her as he should. He knew Abby was close to Fornell's daughter and always made time for her, going with Toby to school plays or concerts and helping Emily with school projects if she could. Perhaps they could do more of that together now? It was a thought that made him smile.

He wasn't sure why that memory had hit him so hard earlier, but it had knocked him sideways. Not in a sad way, that was partly what had startled him so much… it was a sudden, very happy memory and the parallels were obvious. The force of that emotion linked with Abby and Emily had winded him.

Gibbs smiled as he heard shouts and shrieks coming from the backyard. The path could wait.

Abby had been lying in wait for Tobias as he was dragged out back by his daughter, and had hit him with a flurry of snowballs when they both appeared. Yelling foul play, Tobias had made a tactical retreat to the far side of the yard, taking cover by the side of the house. But Emily had snuck round and was making a determined attack on her father, sending a flurry of snowballs his way.

Doubled over with breathless laughter, Abby watched as the pint size spitfire moved in for the kill and was just about to join in when…_whack… _a snowball hit her on the cheek, splattering over her face and sending wet slush over her front.

She wiped off the worst and turned to see a smug looking Gibbs. "Hey, not nice, Gibbs. You said you weren't playing."

Gibbs grinned, pleased with his aim. "Figured Tobias needed my help. Always gotta rescue the FBI."

Distracted by the arrival of reinforcements, Emily lost her aim and Tobias was able to get out of range of the worst of the bombardment. Undaunted, both she and Abby set to again, sending volley after volley in the direction of the two men. Gibbs, typically, with a sniper's patience, waited until he could make each shot count and both girls were soon covered in snow, giggling helplessly.

Using her smaller size, Emily was able to rush in and tackle her father from a low angle, seizing handfuls of snow, trying to jam them down his neck. Abby got in several shots which hit Gibbs glancing blows, but he was too fast for her and bent low at the waist as he moved towards her, knocking Abby off her feet, tumbling her into the snow.

Abby wriggled underneath him, her laughter turning to squeals as she tried to get free. Gibbs grabbed both her hands and pinned them above her head, laughing down at her. Taking in her sparkling green eyes, glowing face and dazzling smile, Gibbs was seized with the overwhelming urge to kiss her into the snow, and only just restrained himself in front of their audience. She caught on to his wish and her could see her gaze shift between his lips and his eyes, her smile turning seductive.

Hearing the laughter from Tobias and Emily, who were still struggling to get as much snow as possible inside each other's clothes, broke the moment. Gibbs got to his feet and pulled Abby up, but not before managing to dump another handful of snow onto her head.

Gibbs took off before Abby could stop spluttering and laughing. He scooped Emily up on the way, who grabbed him round the neck, gurgling happily as he jogged round the front.

Abby went to Tobias and helped him up, sharing grins.

"You know, the only one still dry is Jethro." Tobias tried to brush the worst of the snow off but gave it up as a bad job, most of it had trickled down the back of his neck already.

"I know, Toby. Hardly seems fair, does it?" Abby linked arms with him and they went round the front to join Emily and Gibbs, who were tackling the snowman again.

When they finally all staggered inside much later, they were nearly all soaking wet. Even Gibbs hadn't avoided Abby's sneaky attacks while he was distracted building Emily's snowman and his hair was sodden. Abby couldn't help grinning… wet hair looked _so _damn sexy on him.

As they shed wet outer clothes, Gibbs ran upstairs for towels and spare sweatshirts for himself, Abby and Tobias, and one of Abby's jumpers for Emily. Drying off, the girls got changed in the kitchen. Tobias stayed in the lounge, pulling on a dry sweatshirt, while Gibbs lit the fire to get them all warm. Being so cold outside, the heat was still on in the house, but they'd all soon start to shiver once the warmth from rushing around outside had faded.

Abby brought in more coffee and chocolate for Emily and then settled on the floor by the couch, near the fire. Gibbs settled on the couch near Abby, and tapped Emily on the shoulder as she curled up on the rug by the fire, and started signing to her.

_You sign?_

Emily's eyes blushed as she replied. _Little bit._ Grinning at her aunt, she told him, "Abby taught me."

Gibbs brushed his hand over Emily's hair, smiling. _Show me._

Abby watched indulgently as Emily ran through the handful of phrases and words she'd taught both Emily and Tobias. Gibbs signed back or tested her with new words, which she picked up with an impressive speed.

"Should we be testing your memory too, Toby?" teased Abby, smiling.

Gibbs cut in before Tobias could reply. "No sense testing the old man's memory, Abbs, it's shot."

"Hey, less of the old, Jethro," protested Tobias, good naturedly. "There's only a few years between us."

"I also know this one," Emily exclaimed, bouncing up and down to draw their attention back to her, sounding pleased with herself before signing, _I love you._

Gibbs exchanged glances with Fornell, remembering their conversation in the diner about that sign, and how Tobias had come to know it. "I know. So you could surprise your dad."

"It's great," enthused Emily, "having something we can both share that no one else can."

"Yeah, it is special to do that, Em," confirmed Abby, sharing a smile with Gibbs. " It means you can have a private conversation in a crowded room." It was one of the things that had brought them together as friends years ago, and she loved having a method of communication with him that no one at work could 'overhear.'

Tobias suppressed a smile with difficulty at the intense looks shooting between Abby and Gibbs. "Emily, go and get Abby's present."

"Oh yeah, I hope you like it," Emily said, looking suddenly shy. She scrambled up and ran into the hallway, bringing back a wrapped package.

"I love presents," declared Abby as she took the package, accepting the kiss on the cheek the little girl gave her. "But why d'ya get me a present, Em? It's not Christmas yet."

"To thank you for your help with my school science project. I got really good marks." Emily stood by her father as she watched Abby unwrap the present.

Hugging his daughter to him, Fornell said, "Call it an early Christmas present, Abbs."

Abby burst out laughing when the present was revealed. She held up a pair of huge furry 'boot' slippers with mini penguins attached to the toes, standing up proud of the rest of the slipper. "I _totally_ love these, Em. C'mere." She wrapped Emily in a big hug, nearly dragging her off her feet, and immediately put the slippers on, waving her feet in the air, the penguins bouncing on her toes. "They're so warm."

Laughing at the image she presented, Gibbs shook his head. "Only you could pull those off, Abbs."

"You said your feet are always cold, Abby," said Emily.

"They sure are," put in Gibbs quietly but with feeling, hearing Tobias snort with amusement. He'd had her cold feet planted on for three nights in a row. What was it with women and cold feet?

Glaring at him, Abby couldn't quite suppress the grin lurking at the corners of her mouth. "Come on, Em. You can help me with lunch, leave the boys thawing out."

Fornell waited until they were both out of earshot before asking. "I take it then she hasn't seen the footage?"

"No, not yet," Gibbs shook his head, his grin fading.

"But you have?" asked Fornell, seeing the shadow pass across Gibbs' face.

"Yeah, I've seen it, Tobias." Seeing his friend's worried look, Gibbs felt he had to explain. "It wasn't rape but he did… he did touch her." He wasn't sure if Abby would want to share any more details, but knowing how much Tobias cared for her, he gave him the barest details, keeping his voice quiet.

Fornell's jaw tightened in anger. "How will she cope with seeing it?"

"Don't know," sighed Gibbs. "Ducky's coming over later so we can talk to her."

"And how are you coping with it, Jethro?" Fornell asked gently.

Gibbs closed his eyes briefly, unwanted images flashing across his mind again all too vividly. "I'll never forget it but it's Abby I'm more worried about."

Moving the topic onto neutral ground lest the girls hear them, they chatted for a while longer before helping carry the food into the lounge, all yielding to Emily's wish that eating in front of the fire would be warmer and more fun.

Tucking into the food, as they settled on both the couch and the floor, the teasing banter soon flowed again. Gibbs felt himself relaxing and enjoying the carefree atmosphere. He kept a close eye on Abby, seeing how happy she looked, her eyes shining as Emily chattered almost non-stop about her week in school.

With barely a pause for breath, Emily abruptly changed the subject. "How was LA, Abby?"

Abby's hesitation was barely noticeable. "It was cool, Em, but busy. I didn't have much time for sightseeing." She didn't need to even look at Tobias to know that he hadn't told Emily anything about what had happened to her, and she wanted it to stay that way.

Emily continued, seemingly oblivious to the sudden stillness of the men. "Did you go to that club you wanted to?"

"Only briefly." Only because he knew her so well did Gibbs see the momentary shadow that passed across her face.

"Did you get the bad guy?" asked Emily eagerly.

Abby hesitated before smiling softly at her. "Yeah, we got him, Em. We got him." Gibbs reached out and put his hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently, wordlessly asking how she was coping with this. She turned and smiled, nodding minutely to reassure him.

Tobias put in. "Abby was responsible for catching him, Em. He'd have got away without her." Abby shot him a reproving glance, just wanting to change the subject.

"That's way too cool, Abby," Emily paused before continuing, "and was Callen as dishy as you thought?"

"_Emily!_" exclaimed Tobias, hearing Gibbs low chuckle.

"What, dad? I'm only asking," protested Emily before turning back to Abby. "I saw his photo you showed me, he's yummy."

Giggling, Abby confirmed, hearing Tobias spluttering. "Yes, he was, Emily... very." She risked a quick glance at Gibbs and was relieved to see his smirk in place.

"_Really?_" Emily had managed to perfect not only the slightly suggestive lilt with which Abby usually infused that word, but the head cocked on one side and the innocent face was pretty spot on too. Gibbs suppressed a smile with difficulty as he spotted the similarity.

Fornell threw his hands up in mock horror. "Oh hell, she's even starting to sound like Abby now."

The two girls looked at one another and said with one voice, "Totally," before dissolving into giggles. Fornell couldn't help but join in the laughter.

When the laughter had died down, Emily was all innocence as she asked. "So are you guys together now?"

Fornell choked on his coffee, while Abby could feel a blush creeping over her cheeks. She caught Fornell's spreading grin and looked to Gibbs, unsure how they were going to deal with this one. Out of the mouth of babes…

Then Gibbs did something surprising and unexpected. He smiled at Emily, covering her hand with his. "Yeah, we are, Em. Is that okay?" he asked quietly.

Emily nodded enthusiastically, grinning at her uncle. "Sure, it is. I think it's kinda cool. My most favorite uncle and coolest aunt together."

Fornell intercepted the look Gibbs threw his way. "Don't look at me, Jethro. Em figured this one out all on her own."

"Oh, it was easy really," Emily threw in, nonchalantly. "Abby would always look at Uncle Jethro with a goofy look on her face when she thought he wasn't looking."

_Goofy look? _Abby felt her blush getting deeper as Fornell started chuckling. She saw Gibbs grin break out and knew she was going to get teased about that one for quite a while.

But Emily wasn't finished embarrassing them yet. "Uncle Jethro would do the same too."

"You mean with the same goofy look?" Abby asked, trying unsuccessfuly to stifle a giggle.

"Oh yeah," Emily nodded, giggling.

That was too much for Fornell and he threw his head back, roaring with laughter. Abby and Gibbs stared at one another and she saw Gibbs' lips twitch before they both burst out laughing. Emily looked delighted at causing such mirth.

In between giggles, Abby gasped out, "Goofy look Gibbs? _Really?_" and he rolled his eyes at her.

Fornell answered. "Well, I wouldn't have put it quite like that while I was within head slapping distance but it sums it up pretty well I think."

Chuckling, Abby exchanged glances with Gibbs, catching his soft smile. He reached down and took her hand, rubbing his thumb in gentle circles over her wrist.

"Can I tell mummy?" was Emily's next question as she watched them.

That sobered them all up.

"Best not Em," cautioned Abby.

"Why not?" demanded Emily.

Good question.

If it was that obvious to a ten year old, and half the team seemed to have guessed already, it made Abby wonder how obvious it was to everybody else. But it was something they'd not discussed yet between the two of them. It was all too new and Abby knew they needed some privacy to work it out.

Fornell tried to help out. "It could cause them both problems at work, Emily, if it becomes widely known."

Fornell also didn't want her to tell Diane and expose Abby to his ex-wife's vitriol. He'd caught more than a few sarcastic comments about Abby from Diane in the past, and he didn't want to give her any more ammunition. Emily adored her aunt and even Diane realized she'd just provoke her daughter to defend Abby if she said anything critical in her hearing.

Once again, Gibbs seemed to find the right words for the situation. He leaned over and pulled Emily into his side. "It's kinda special, Em. You keep special close."

Abby looked at him wonderingly. For a guy who professed to be crap with words, the few he did say could sometimes be well nigh perfect.

Emily caught onto his seriousness and nodded solemnly. "Then I won't say anything, I promise." Gibbs wrapped her in a hug, kissing her temple.

It was soon time to leave and as they said goodbye, Emily launched herself at Gibbs and Abby in turn, doing a fair mini impersonation of her aunt's bone crushing hugs.

While Gibbs offered to clean up, Abby walked them both to the car, hugging Tobias and kissing his cheek once Emily was in the car out of earshot. "Thank you, Toby, for the other night, for looking after me," she told him, quietly. "I was too out of it to say thank you properly at the time."

"There's no need, Abbs," Tobias reassured her. "I'm just pleased to see you looking so well." He nodded in the direction of the house. "Jethro suits you."

"We suit each other, Toby," corrected Abby, smiling. "That's what makes it so good."

Waving as they drove off, Abby turned to see Ducky walking down the street towards her through the snow. "Ducky, we didn't think you'd make it. Where's your Morgan? Did you park it up the street?" she asked as she hugged him.

Ducky hugged her back, before holding her at arm's length to look at her face, seeing how much better she looked than yesterday. "I didn't bring her, Abby. I took a cab."

"Oh Ducky," replied Abby, "you needn't have made the effort just to come and see me. Not that it isn't lovely to see you, but you could have rung to see how I was as the weather was so bad."

"It's not the same as seeing your delightful face. Besides it got me out of the house on a Saturday. Is Jethro inside?" queried Ducky. He felt sure Gibbs wouldn't have said the real reason he was visiting today, and wanted to deflect Abby. He didn't want to discuss it outside.

Abby nodded. "Yeah, he's in the kitchen. Have you had lunch, Ducky?"

"Yes, I have, my dear," confirmed Ducky. "But I will tackle some of Jethro's coffee, if my insides can brave the noxious brew." Kissing her cheek, he made his way up the path.

Sensing there was more to Ducky's explanation as to why he was here in the bad weather, Abby watched Ducky thoughtfully as he walked into the house, before reaching for her phone. It was time she made her phone call.

Talking quietly in the kitchen with Ducky, Gibbs could feel the lighthearted mood of the morning rapidly drifting away. They kept the conversation to neutral subjects, both feeling the subject of the footage hovering in the corner like the elephant in the room.

After a while, Gibbs began to wonder where Abby was but before he could go in search of her, the front door slammed. The expression on her face as she rounded the corner into the kitchen would have clued him into her mood, even if the restless pacing, gesturing hands and hunched shoulders hadn't already told him that she was pissed… _really_ pissed.

He had a sinking feeling he knew why too. Her next angry words confirmed it.

"Were either of you planning on telling me sometime before Christmas that the video footage had not only been found, but was here already?" accused Abby, her voice tight and angry.

_Oh shit._

"Abbs…" Gibbs tried to head off her tirade.

"Don't you Abbs me." She turned on him, hands agitatedly signing half formed words, none of them flattering. "I can't believe you kept it from me, both of you, not after what we talked about."

"Abby, that's why I'm here now," interjected Ducky, trying to divert her wrath from Gibbs. "We wanted to talk to you about it."

"It was here _yesterday_, Ducky. That would have been the day to do it. You knew how important it was to me, you both knew, but you, Gibbs… " Abby broke off, struggling to keep her composure. "Did me spilling my heart out to you about how important it was mean nothing to you?"

"Don't blame, Jethro," Ducky was firm. If anyone was going to take the blame for this bad timing, he was determined it would be him. He went on. "I thought it was too soon, Abby. I made him hold off."

Abby's tone was scornful. "Oh come on, you never do anything you don't agree with, Gibbs."

"I didn't want you to see the damn thing in the first place, Abbs," Gibbs cut in, sounding increasingly angry himself, and they stood glaring at one another.

Ducky sought to calm them both down. They both had impressive tempers and losing them wouldn't help right now. "How did you find out, Abby?"

Abby barely spared him a glance. "I rang Callen. I thought it was time I should have heard from him about it."

"Damn him," snapped Gibbs, starting to pace, running his hand through his hair in frustration.

"Don't you dare have a go at Callen," exploded Abby. She'd already been angry enough with G. Callen over the phone just now for not telling her, but they didn't need to know that, nor was she going to let them deflect the blame onto the LA agent. "He'd promised to tell me when the footage was sent over but you, Ducky, you made him wait, didn't you?"

"I thought it was for the best, Abigail, and I still do… " Ducky was adamant. "Your reaction now is only confirming that."

"My reaction?" Abby interrupted, sounding incredulous. "My reaction is because the two men I trusted the most not to lie to me ever… two men I love have just…" She broke off, unable to continue.

Gibbs started forward towards her but she raised her hand, shaking her head. "No… don't…" Abby tried to get enough breath to continue. "At least Callen treats me like a grown woman, not like a child." This was shot at Ducky. "Or a porcelain doll," which was aimed at Gibbs.

With that, Abby turned and ran from the room, racing upstairs and they both heard another door slam… presumably his bedroom, thought Gibbs. He went to go after her but was stopped by Ducky's hand on his arm. He turned to see his friend shaking his head. "Leave her be, Jethro. With both your tempers, you'll only make it worse if you go to her now. She'll be okay when she's calmed down."

Gibbs slumped on the couch, head in his hands, feeling helpless. He was left wondering if he'd screwed this up so badly so quickly before they'd even begun.

TBC

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><p>AN: Well, it wouldn't be me if I didn't grab an obvious cliffhanger as it sped by me, would it? Don't worry… I love these two together too much to have them apart for too long.


	23. Chapter 23: Calming Down

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: These next couple of chapters are obviously some of the most difficult ones to write but it needs facing before she can move on, I think, and before we can move on with the story. Thanks for all your support.

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>**3 – Calming Down**

Ducky watched his friend as he slumped on the couch, the worry evident on Gibbs' face. Handing him a coffee, he sat down next to him. "She'll be fine, Jethro. She just needs time to calm down." Ducky hoped he sounded more confident than he felt at the moment.

"I know, Duck." Gibbs rubbed his hand over his hair, feeling the stresses of the past few days catching up with him. But he knew Abby's temper was hot to flare and quick to cool. He and Ducky just happened to be in the firing line when it exploded now, and justifiably so given they were guilty of everything she'd just accused them of, even if it was done in her best interests and out of love for her.

"Although I don't think I helped matters by snapping at her either, I'm sorry, Jethro," acknowledged Ducky, regretting that comment about her reaction. Even if he'd thought it, he shouldn't have flung it back at her like that… at least not then. It certainly hadn't helped in calming the situation, and had only made matters worse. "Abigail has a healthy temper that rivals yours at times and it's easily ignited."

Gibbs knew that all too well. "She's understandably pissed that we kept it from her."

"Yes, I know," sighed Ducky, wishing he could rewind the clock and think this through again before it had got to this stage. "I suggest we leave her to calm down for a bit. Give her however long she needs."

"She'll come down when she's ready, Duck. There's no point trying to push her. She'll only retreat even further if we do." Gibbs was angry with Abby that she'd taken her temper out on Ducky. He was worried about the strain his friend was under. Ducky didn't need to be caught in the middle of this. It was bad enough he'd seen the footage and would have to live with those images, in the same way Gibbs would.

"I think we'd all get defensive in similar circumstances, Jethro. What rotten timing…" said Ducky, his tone full of regret. "although I can't help wondering if we misjudged things too. Even if she hadn't rung Callen just now, she might have reacted the same way when she knew we'd kept it from her since yesterday."

"Yeah, ringing Callen just brought it to a head, I reckon," agreed Gibbs before asking. "What about the footage? D'ya want me to try to stop her seeing it?"

Ducky shook his head. "No, Jethro, this time I don't think we can. As tempting as it might be, given how we both want to protect her, do you really think she'll settle for not seeing it… especially now?"

Gibbs shook his head, resigned. "No."

"No, nor me." Ducky agreed. "I fear we'll do more damage to her trust in us if we try to stop her now. I think she's got enough stress to cope with," Ducky looked over at Gibbs, seeing how tired he looked compared to when he'd arrived not that long ago. "And so have you, my friend. The best we can do now is try and salvage the situation, do what we were going to do today anyway and support her through it."

Gibbs didn't like it but recognized the futility of protesting. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Although I doubt she'll want to see me when she comes down." Ducky sounded apologetic.

Gibbs threw him a look, concerned. "It's me she's really pissed at, Duck."

Ducky knew Gibbs was just trying to divert the blame onto himself, as he usually did. "Maybe, but she's also mad at me. I spoke with her at length yesterday, Jethro. I wasn't unaware of how she felt about the footage and I had the perfect opportunity to talk to her about it. Instead, I just deflected her comments about it."

"I knew what it meant to her too, Ducky, and Ziva tried to warn me too."

"The irony is that I _do_ see Abby as a child… my child. I've loved her like the daughter life never allowed me to have," Ducky sounded wistful, "and that perhaps makes me more protective of her than I should be. It stops me seeing the situation objectively."

"You're not the only one, Duck. I can't do anything else but want to protect her." It had been his instinct from the time they'd been friends and wasn't likely to lessen now. The whole thing was a mess and Gibbs wasn't sure it was going to be easily fixable. Seeing the strain on his friend's face, Gibbs squeezed his shoulder. "Come on, Duck, don't torture yourself. Keep me company for a bit."

Heading down to the basement, Gibbs broke out the bourbon. Ducky followed, feeling every one of his years. He settled on a stool, sipping his drink thoughtfully, going back over the events of the past few days, wondering how he could have handled it differently. He shook his head, ruefully. Hindsight was a wonderful thing…

Gibbs was lost in his own thoughts, more worried than he cared to admit that he'd destroyed Abby's trust in him, and what it might mean for their relationship now. He grabbed onto his usual method of settling his mind, using working with wood to calm and centre himself. Toys for the children's hospital at least had a deadline, which was a good idea to keep him focused.

He could see Ducky was deep in thought and Gibbs was at a loss how best to comfort his friend. Gibbs poured them both another shot and pushed some finished toys towards Ducky, along with a paint brush, nodding at the paint pots on the work bench. Smiling briefly at him, Ducky recognized the attempt to distract him, and picked up the paint, game to try anything at the moment in his worry.

As they worked, both men listened for any sound from above which would indicate Abby had returned downstairs. But they heard nothing. Eventually both of them stopped glancing up at every creak in the house. They spent a quiet companionable couple of hours and a good half of the bottle had disappeared before Gibbs eventually heard movement upstairs.

Seeing Gibbs look towards the stairs, his hearing not as acute as the Marine's, Ducky asked, "Is that…?"

"Yeah, I think so, but let her come to us, Duck." Gibbs resisted the urge to race upstairs. Abby wouldn't thank him for pressuring her. She had to be the one ready to talk… to come to them.

He could hear her moving about in the kitchen and it was only a short time later that Gibbs sensed Abby appear at the top of the steps. He watched her out of the corner of his eye as she descended, carrying two mugs. Ducky paused in his painting, keeping a close eye on her as she approached.

Abby placed a mug of tea by Ducky and then put Gibbs' coffee mug on the workbench by him. She retreated only a few feet towards the stairs and stood fidgeting with her hands, head down, avoiding eye contact with them both.

Gibbs ached to reach out to her but wasn't sure if she'd welcome it.

Abby remained standing there for a few moments longer and then turned to walk straight into his arms.

Gibbs felt relief wash over him and wrapped both arms around her in a tight hug, breathing out her name. She clung to him. He could infuse so much meaning into the simple saying of her name.

He buried his face in her neck, letting her scent wash over him. If she was letting him touch her, then perhaps things were salvageable after all. Abby had always thrived on physical contact and it was only when she was really pissed or upset, that she refused to be touched at all by anyone. When they were only friends, that was the way she always coped and he doubted that would change now they were lovers.

Ducky watched the pair of them, feeling his own relief bubble up. If he'd been in any doubt as to the change in their relationship, it vanished at the sight in front of him. He wasn't sure who was clinging more tightly to the other, but the fact that Jethro was willing to show such a depth of physical affection in front of him spoke volumes.

Abby pulled back slightly, reaching out her hand, but not relinquishing her hold on Gibbs and beckoned him over. "Ducky."

Ducky took her hand and she tugged him into the hug, wrapping an arm around him. Ducky kissed her cheek, returning the hug. Gibbs rested his arm over Ducky's shoulder. They stood there, almost in a protective huddle for some minutes.

"I'm so very sorry. I didn't mean those hurtful things I said to both of you." Abby's voice sounded small, muffled against the two of them. She raised her head to look at them both and they saw the strain evident on her face, the red-rimmed eyes which showed she'd been crying.

Ducky's tone was reassuring and he brushed her hair back from her face with a tender hand. He hated to see Abby upset as much as Gibbs did. "You've nothing to apologize for, Abby. We should also be apologizing to you."

Abby shook her head. "We all said things in the heat of the moment. I bitterly regret what I said to both of you… I wouldn't willingly hurt either of you for anything, you must believe that." She paused, glancing between the two of them. "Are you mad at me?"

"Not at all, my dear." Ducky shook his head, squeezing her hand, pleased she was at least willing to talk to them.

"We all said too much, Abbs, things we shouldn't have." Gibbs wanted to reach out and wipe those tear tracks from her face. She'd looked so happy this morning… almost glowing and now she looked exhausted again.

Abby backed away slightly to lean against the workbench, crossing her arms, needing some distance from their presence, however comforting it was, in order to thrash this out with them both. "I just... it just overwhelmed me. I was so angry with you both. I really thought I'd made you both understand how important it is for me to know what happened to me. I thought Callen understood too... guess I was wrong about that too. And when I found out you knew, had known since yesterday, I felt..." Abby trailed off.

Ducky finished her thought. "Betrayed. You felt we'd lied to you, which technically we did, Abby, but..."

Abby interrupted, her voice hoarse. "I know it was for the best of intentions, Ducky, but I trusted both of you to be honest with me. I _needed_ you to be honest with me. My rule no. 1 remember? Never lie to Abby."

"I know. We shoulda told you yesterday," Gibbs reluctantly conceded.

"Yeah, you should." Her voice getting stronger as she was determined to get this all out in the open with the pair of them. "What did you think I was gonna do, huh? Grab the footage from you yesterday and run off with it there and then?" She looked from one to the other, seeing their hesitation. "Did you _really_ think I'd have done that, without even listening to you both first? Or were you so busy trying to stop me seeing the footage at all that you didn't stop to think about that part of it?" That was the crux of it, as far as she was concerned.

Gibbs exchanged glances with Ducky. She was right. They'd both been so caught up in the 'should she or shouldn't she', trying to think of ways to stop her, that they hadn't thought of the practicalities. They hadn't given her the benefit of the doubt, hadn't trusted her to handle even the news of the arrival of the footage sensibly.

They'd treated her like a hysterical female who would fall apart at the first sign of stress, and that was hardly fair... Gibbs could see that now. While Abby might be emotional, she was hardly innocent or a fool.. at the very least, she deserved the courtesy of being listened to and they'd both ignored her.

Sensing she'd struck a point with both of them, Abby continued. "If you'd told me, I'd have listened to you... listened to you both. You must know by now how much I trust you both... how much your opinion means to me, especially Ducky in a situation like this. We could have all talked it through sensibly and then we could have worked out what was for the best."

"You've clearly given this a great deal of thought, Abby." Ducky was impressed, despite himself, at her reasoning but angry with himself that he hadn't taken into account how her analytical mind would approach this. Whatever her terror, the stress she'd been under, the strain of the past few days, Abby thought like a scientist... she always had and always would.

Abby huffed a rueful laugh. "I've had nothing but time to think these past few days, Ducky, and especially just now." She'd spent the afternoon lying on the bed, crying a little, getting it out of her system, listening to music on her iPod and thinking... doing a _lot_ of thinking.

"We were just trying to protect you, Abbs," explained Gibbs, although it sounded lame even to his own ears.

Abby smiled wryly at him. "You can't protect me from everything, Gibbs. You've got to trust me sometimes to be able to make my own difficult decisions. Did you really think I'd grab that footage and rush off instantly to see it? That I really wouldn't wait to listen to what you and Ducky had to say? You don't think much of my judgement if you think that." She sounded disappointed more than anything and that hit Gibbs harder than her anger.

"We clearly didn't think it through." Ducky berated himself inwardly. He didn't think it was as simple as Abby was painting it but her words had struck a chord. He couldn't imagine her grabbing the footage and running off in hysterics insisting she saw it then, she was right about that. Why hadn't they thought about that?

"Is that why you came over here this afternoon, Ducky, rather than just checking up on how I was?" She could see how tired her friend was and bitterly regretted adding to that strain. She wanted nothing more than this whole thing behind her... behind them all.

"Yes, Abby," confirmed Ducky. "I should have realized that that excuse would be fairly transparent."

"We screwed up, Abbs," admitted Gibbs, reaching for her hand, grateful when she allowed him to take it.

Having made her point, Abby wasn't about to let it fester. She was so tired of arguing. "We all did. We all said too much. I'm still pissed at both of you, but I'd like to put it behind us." Abby looked at both of them in turn, seeing Ducky nod in agreement. She took a deep breath, wanting to move this on. She felt like she'd been going round in circles for days. "I've also made up my mind up."

"Figured as much." Gibbs recognized that determined expression, and the body language that went with it.

Her tone was firm. "I want to watch it today... and it might as well be now. Get it out of the way."

"If you're sure, Abby?" Ducky felt he had to ask one last time, even though he knew her answer.

"Yes, I'm sure, never been surer of anything. Do either of you realize what images my imagination has been feeding me over the past few days? How much of a strain that's been?" she asked them, quietly.

Gibbs was struck by the uncanny echo to what Ziva had said to him yesterday. Abby continued, "I hate to pull the 'you won't understand because you're not a woman' card but there's a certain amount of truth in that."

"I think we're beginning to realize that, Abby." Ducky's tone was sympathetic. "I'm sorry if it appears we didn't before. But you mustn't underestimate how much of a strain this is going to be on you. You can't just see it and be able to immediately put it behind you."

"I know that, Ducky." She resisted the urge to roll her eyes at him. They were still treating her as if she hadn't thought this through. She'd thought of nothing else these past few days. "I know that's not the end of it by any means. I know it'll probably trigger more nightmares and will probably haunt me for a long time to come, but I need to see it, know what he did, try to accept it and then move on... if I can."

"I think we get it now, Abbs." Gibbs exchanged glances with Ducky, seeing the older man looking at Abby almost with pride.

"Is the footage here?" she asked, tentatively.

Gibbs opened the drawer in the workbench and removed the flash drive from where he'd hidden it yesterday. Abby took it from him, turning it over in her hand. She looked up at him, surprising him with her next question. "Will you watch it with me?"

Gibbs reached out to brush his fingers down her jaw line, relieved beyond measure that she wasn't going to shut him out of this step either, however painful it might be for both of them. "You know I will, if that's what you want."

"You've seen it, haven't you, both of you?" Abby enquired, although she was sure of the answer.

Gibbs nodded. "Yeah, Abbs, yesterday and so did Ducky."

She saw the flash of pain that went across his face. "And you both had that burden on your shoulders all yesterday evening and this morning." She surprised them both again with her first concern being for them and not anger that they'd watched it first.

Ducky approached, squeezing her shoulder in reassurance. "Don't be concerned about us, Abby. It's you we need to look after."

"But I do worry about you both. I know what a strain this has been for you... for everyone. You've no idea how much I want to forget about this." Abby reached up to cover his hand and drew a deep breath. "And now, Ducky, I'd like to talk to Jethro alone please, if that's okay?"

Ducky glanced over at Gibbs, surprised at the change of subject. "Of course, Abby. It's time I was going anyway."

"You don't have to leave, Ducky. I... we just need a few minutes alone," protested Abby. She felt guilty for driving Ducky away so soon after he'd made the difficult journey in the snow, and all for her benefit. She could see how tired her friend was, knowing that she was the cause of it.

"No, Abby, it's fine. I have some things to do and you clearly have things to talk about." In truth, Ducky was tired. The past few days had been a great strain and he felt the need for some peace and quiet of his own, in his own house.

"You will still come to dinner tomorrow, Ducky, won't you?" questioned Abby, worried she'd ruined that too. "I was going to cook your favorite chicken gumbo."

Ducky smiled. "Sounds delicious, you know what a fan I am of your cooking. I'll bring the wine. I'm looking forward to it, Abby."

Gibbs spoke up. "Want a lift home, Duck."

"No, Jethro. I'll take a cab, the same way I got here and besides, you've had too much bourbon... as have I." Ducky raised his glass and drained the last of it. Abby hugged Ducky tightly and he kissed her cheek before heading upstairs.

Gibbs watched her face as she watched Ducky leave, trying to read her mood. Her body language wasn't angry at least but she did look uncertain and nervous. He couldn't help a sense of dread form that he wasn't out of the woods yet, that her need to talk to him alone didn't bode well. Before she could say anything, he cut in. "Abbs, have I screwed this... us... up too?"

She looked genuinely startled. "What? Oh God, no, Gibbs." She walked back into his arms again immediately, sliding her arms round his waist. "You didn't think that, did you?" His arms tightening around her told her that's exactly what he thought.

"Wondered if I had. It's the one thing I'm good at... screwing up." He nuzzled into her neck, drinking in her presence, still wary. If that wasn't what she wanted to talk to him about, what was it?

"Well, you haven't. You couldn't screw us up, Jethro." She ran her hands up across his broad back. "You didn't think a flare up like this would do us any real damage, did you?" Abby leaned back to search his eyes, her own widening when she saw their expression. "Oh my god, you did."

"Thought so... after earlier," was his honest response.

"Well, you can unthink it." Abby needed to talk to him but hadn't bargained on this uncertainty from him first. She continued, trying to be reassuring, "With our tempers, I imagine our fights are going to spectacular but that's not gonna change the fact that I love you, you idiot."

He cupped his hands round her face and kissed her, keeping it slow, gentle and teasing, trying to show her how he felt through his actions.

Abby pulled away when air became a necessity rather than a request and rested her forehead against his, trying to gather her wits about her from the distraction of how he tasted, how he felt against her. "That wasn't what I wanted to talk to you about though. I need you to just answer me one thing, Jethro."

Her question when it came stunned him. "Please tell me last night wasn't some sympathy fuck."

_Oh, God, did she really think that?_

"No, Abbs, never," he protested. Gibbs wasn't sure how to reassure her, settling for pulling her back into his arms, relieved when she didn't resist but wrapped her arms round him, snuggling into his chest.

"Coz I'm not sure I could cope if it was." Her voice sounded small and uncertain. She regretted having to ask him. Abby knew it was not his style but once the thought had struck her, she had trouble letting it go.

"Why would you think that?" He pulled back, sliding his hands into her hair and holding her gaze, trying to convey the truth with his hands and voice. "I wanted you, Abbs. Wanted to forget everything, shut everyone out so it was just us... still do."

Abby hesitated, searching his eyes but seeing only his sincerity, reassured that he was telling her the truth. She nodded, her mind made up. "Then let's get this over with. Stop this guy's hold over me... over us, for once and for all."

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><p>TBC<p>

A/N: Now I could have put a cliffhanger in there at the point where Abby asks to speak to Gibbs alone, so you should admire my restraint!


	24. Chapter 24: Facing Down Nightmares

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: Okay, the chapter I've found the most difficult... for obvious reasons.

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><p><strong>Chapter 24 – Facing Down Nightmares<strong>

With a determined set to her shoulders, Abby went upstairs and into the living room. She set up her laptop and queued the footage while Gibbs poured them both bourbon, settling on the couch beside her, keeping an eye on her body language and expressions.

He wanted desperately to hold her but also wanted to see her face while she watched the footage. It was only by observing her face, her reactions, that he could see how she was coping with it.

Abby threw back her bourbon in one gulp before reaching over and taking his hand, forcing a brief smile. "Ready?"

"Are _you _ready?" Gibbs wasn't sure who was trying to reassure who as he laced their fingers together.

"Yeah, as I'll ever be." He saw her visibly brace herself, her green eyes shadowed, and take a deep breath before she set the footage rolling.

He watched her face as she viewed it... partly because he wanted to see her reaction but also because he didn't need to see it to know what was happening on the screen; every second was engraved on his mind.

Abby tensed visibly when she saw the Phantom carry her inside and throw her unconscious form on the bed. Her fingers clenched around his, gripping his hand strongly as she watched the killer run his hands over her body, her breathing becoming rapid and shallow. She reached up to touch the spider web tattoo at the same time as the Phantom did exactly the same thing on the screen, shuddering as if still she felt an echo of the killer's hands on her body.

Gibbs watched closely for any sign that this was too much but she was managing to keep her expression fairly blank, which for someone as expressive as Abby spoke volumes. She was clamping down on her reactions... trying to control them. He wasn't sure if that was for his benefit so that he wouldn't see her too upset, or was it a way for her to cope with it?

When the footage reached the last part where the Phantom masturbated over her... by her, Gibbs shifted nearer, feeling her lean slightly against him. He heard the hitch in her breathing and by the end, she was gripping his hand hard enough to bruise.

As the footage ended, Gibbs was puzzled by her quiet and heartfelt, "Thank God." He saw several tears roll down her cheeks and Abby shivered. Dragging her eyes away from the screen, she turned to Gibbs and his heart ached to see such a lost expression on her face.

He tugged her towards him gently and Abby resisted for only a heartbeat before sinking into his embrace, arms going round him, clinging tightly. Gibbs leaned back against the couch, pulling her with him and held her as she sobbed quietly into his neck. He rocked her gently, murmuring soft words of reassurance, wishing he could take away all the pain and anguish. He felt a loathing for the Phantom rising up that threatened to choke him.

Abby leaned into his warmth, drawing comfort from his strong arms and the immense feeling of security he was always able to give her. She felt at her most protected and safe when sheltering within the circle of his arms. She'd never needed him more than at this moment. His presence at her side these last few days, and especially now, was probably the only reason she'd been able to cope with everything, and had been able to face seeing that footage now.

Even now, Abby's stubbornness wouldn't let her cry for too long and her sobs soon subsided. She still held him hard and he stroked his hands up and down her back and over her silky hair, trying to soothe her, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.

After a while, she pulled back to sit upright and scrubbed at her face to wipe away the remnants of her tears. Her vivid green eyes lacked their usual lustre and were shadowed by dark smudges, but she managed to flash him a wan smile.

Gibbs wanted nothing more than to see Abby regain her sparkle, but feared that they might just have taken a step back. There was no point asking her if she was okay because she was obviously not, and she wouldn't thank him for meaningless reassurances, so he waited until she was ready to talk to him.

Her voice was hoarse from her tears when she spoke. "Thank you... for sitting with me while I watched it. I realize how difficult it's been... how you've hated seeing that." She reached for his hand again, brushing a soft kiss over his knuckles. "I'm sorry I had to ask you, make you see it again."

He shook his head. There she was again, thinking of someone else first. "You needed me to, Abbs. That's enough of a reason for me."

"That was..." Abby stopped, her voice failing her. She drew a shaky breath, gathering her courage before continuing, "As horrible as that was, do you know what my overwhelming feeling is right now? It's relief, Gibbs... isn't that weird?"

"No, Abbs." Gibbs kept his tone reassuring. "I think I understand. Is that why you said thank God just now?"

"Yeah. I'd imagined far worse than that, god knows, far, far worse than that... not only for how the semen got onto my clothes but what else might have happened. Having seen it... "Abby paused, swallowing hard as tears welled up again. "It made my flesh crawl to see his hands on me."

Gibbs ran his hand over her cheek and into her hair, cupping the back of her head. "You don't have to talk now, Abbs, if you don't want to. We've got plenty of time."

"No, I want to." Abby protested, vehemently. "I need to get it all out. I don't want to keep going over and over it. I want nothing more than to forget about this. It feels like it's taken over our lives and I hate that." She reached up to trace his jawline gently. "Just let me get it out."

"Okay, Abbs, take your time." He kissed her gently, resting his forehead against hers, trying to reassure her with his presence. He waited until she regained her composure enough to continue.

She nuzzled into his cheek, breathing in his comforting scent, letting it ground her. She straightened and cleared her throat before continuing. "What happened when he had his hands on me, it could have been worse. I know it may not seem like it but think about it, Gibbs. He could have stripped me and then touched me."

Abby felt her stomach roll at the thought. It was what she'd feared the most in a way. She knew that her clothes had to have been still ON when the semen got onto her, but she'd had no idea what had happened other than that; whether, while she was unconscious, he'd stripped her of all her clothes and touched her body then.

The relief that she'd been fully clothed throughout was indescribable. And there was something more... something she hoped Gibbs would understand. She took a deep breath, twisting her hands together. "You realize he could have been on top of me while he was jerking off... actually touching me while he did it."

"I know, Abbs." She could see his eyes looked haunted. She hated what this was doing to him. He didn't deserve any of this.

"That's how I thought the semen got on my clothes... that's what my imagination was telling me. You've no idea what's been rolling through my imagination... " She looked up at him with a wry smile, "seeing that the reality didn't turn out to be close to my worst fears is an enormous relief."

Gibbs pulled her back into his side, wanting to offer comfort but not sure how. She was being so brave.

"Or I could have been conscious while he touched me. Imagine it, Gibbs. Conscious... and unable to move, to fight him off." She felt tears well up again and tried to shake them off, feeling his arm tighten around her in wordless comfort. "I thought it was bad enough that I couldn't fight him when I was in that chair but that... that would have been even worse. He could have done anything he wanted to me then... and I could have done nothing to prevent it."

It was a horror that had lodged in his head too the minute Ziva had planted the seed yesterday. "I understand, Abbs. Ziva said the same thing."

"Ziva's seen it?" Abby looked at him startled, shaken out of her misery for a moment, and he couldn't have bitten his tongue.

"Yeah, she watched it with me yesterday," he told her, warily. "She offered, Abbs... but I was going to ask her anyway. Figured she could help more than me or Ducky but didn't want to ask her. It was the last thing I wanted to do."

"Poor Ziva. I must talk to her... thank her. Oh, Gibbs, will the repercussions from this never end?" She sounded so forlorn, he felt a fresh wave of anger and a sense of helplessness he hated.

"Didn't want to remind her of Somalia any more than Ducky did, but Ziva had already figured out the footage existed, said she wanted to help." Gibbs still felt guilty over exposing Ziva to the video.

"I don't want to stir up memories for her... would do anything to spare her any pain, you know that Gibbs." She looked up at him almost imploringly. "She's such a good friend." She paused. "Who else has seen it?"

"Only Callen and Eric from the LA office, as far as I know, and then just me, Ducky and Ziva," he told her.

Abby winced. "Poor Callen... and Eric." She knew that Callen felt a measure of responsibility for her being abducted, even though she didn't blame him in the slightest. Seeing what she'd gone through would only have made that feeling of guilt even worse. "I ripped Callen a new one earlier, I was so angry. He didn't deserve that either."

"He's a big boy, Abbs, doubt he'll mind," Gibbs pointed out.

"I'll call him, apologize." Abby gazed off into the distance, lost in thought.

"He won't expect it." She needed to think about herself, not be worrying about everybody else.

"Nevertheless, I should," she threw him a brief smile. "And I guess Leon will read the report but whether he'll watch the video..." Abby trailed off.

"I may not always agree with Leon, but I'm guessing he'll respect your privacy, Abbs." He knew how she'd hate the thought of that footage being 'available' like that. "He's no reason to see it, other than perhaps needing to know how much psych help will be recommended." He saw her pull a face at that thought.

She leaned her head against his shoulder for a few minutes, and he chose not to disturb her, letting her set the pace. "And how are you doing?" she asked him eventually. To Abby, that was more important than anything else.

"Me?" he queried. "It's you I'm worried about, Abbs."

"Don't be," she said, trying to deflect him. "I'm more concerned about you." She turned to face him, curling her legs underneath her on the couch, searching his face, seeing how drained he looked. "I'm worried how much of a strain this whole thing has been on you. I'm so sorry to put you through it... " He tried to shush her but she shook his hand off, determined to continue. "And then looking after me... I can't help feeling I've been nothing but a burden to you, to everyone these past few days."

"You're very far from that." Gibbs lifted her hand, entwining their fingers. "I'll do whatever you need me to, Abbs, you should know that by now."

"I know. I can't tell you what a difference that's made. I couldn't have done this... any of it without you." Abby moved closer, resting her head on his shoulder, as she tried to put it into words. "I need time to think about what I've seen... what he did. But now I don't have to battle my own imagination any more. What we've just seen is the very worst of it, not what was rolling around in my head. I'm sure it'll come back to haunt me... it'll probably trigger nightmares again, but that's it." She gestured to the laptop monitor. "It can't get any worse, and it's time to think about how to move past it, accept it."

"You're a very brave woman, Abigail Scuito."

She gave a soft laugh and her smile reached her eyes for the first time. "There aren't many times I'll let you get away with calling me Abigail, _Leroy_."

"Ducky does." He teased her gently.

"Ducky is Ducky." Her smile faltered. "I was very mean to him, wasn't I?" she asked meekly.

"He's been very worried about ya, and only tried to do what he thought best, Abby. He cares for you like a daughter."

Gibbs was worried at the strain this was putting on his friend. Ducky was one of the strongest men he knew and he faced the horrors of their work every day like they all did, but he knew how much Ducky suffered when it was one of their 'family' who was hurt or upset. He could be a tower of strength to everyone, but that very strength meant that everyone tended to lean too heavily on the Scotsman, perhaps without realizing what it took out of him.

"I know he does. Since my dad died, Ducky's been like a father to me." Ducky was such a comforting presence, full of compassion and wise words, whatever the situation.

"Be pissed at me not him," he told her, wryly.

"I was pissed at you both..." she told him. "That doesn't mean I can't forgive what you both did and then forget about it... as I hope you'll forgive me for losing my temper. I don't want to let it fester. I'm just so tired, Gibbs, tired of this dominating everything we do. I don't want this hovering over us." Her tone was determined. "I've been thinking about this a lot over the past few days. I know I need to deal with it... talk to Ducky and maybe Ziva if it's not too much of a strain on her... get through that blasted psych eval and get cleared to go back to work and then we can start concentrating on us... just on us."

"That's all I've wanted to do all week." Gibbs rested his cheek against her hair. In fact, the whole thing had taken less than a week but felt like much longer.

"I felt so alive this morning and now I feel drained." She closed her eyes and leaned into his neck, enjoying his warmth and closeness.

"You look tired, Abbs." He brushed a kiss against her temple. "Why don't you rest up and I'll fix dinner."

Abby hesitated only briefly before agreeing. She was only too pleased to curl up on the couch, wrapped in the throw, lost in thought but content to watch Gibbs as he cooked steaks on the open fire. She dozed in the comfortable warmth, sipping on the beer he brought her. She hadn't thought she was very hungry but her stomach growled as the aroma of the meat reached her.

They ate dinner in companionable silence, neither feeling the need to talk, even Abby's usual abhorrence for quiet giving way under her tiredness. She felt all talked out but could feel her energy slowly coming back as she ate.

Curling up on the couch together after dinner, Gibbs spooned behind her, burying his nose in her hair, breathing in her scent, letting it soothe him. Abby relaxed into the cradle of his arms, gazing into the flames. She let his warmth seep through her, feeling more settled than she had for days.

Abby broke the silence after a while. "I've been thinking."

"Hmm?" He brushed a kiss to her hair, pulling her back more securely against him.

"I'd like to learn some more self defence..." She wriggled round to face him. "I mean I know some already but I was thinking of asking you and Ziva to teach me more. Learn some crazy ninja skills."

He considered for a moment before nodding. "Good idea, Abbs. We'll start something next week. If we don't catch a case, was gonna schedule some training anyway, try and keep Ziva from killing DiNozzo."

"Thank you. I know it wouldn't have helped me in that parking lot but it's something positive to do. I know I protected myself against Chip but that was just a fluke."

"Nearly lost ya then too." It was another near miss, something that came back to haunt him regularly in his nightmares. "You gonna go to church tomorrow?"

She nodded, sliding her arms round him and burrowing into his chest. "Yeah. I'd like to."

"Do you want me to go with you?" he asked, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, resting his chin on her head.

"I'm tempted to say yes but no, Gibbs. I need to get back to doing things on my own." It would be the first time she'd been alone this week, apart from this afternoon, and she did want some space... not from him, but just to be alone.

He understood all too well. Abby valued her independence and if she was ever going to get back to the normality she craved, then he knew she needed to get back into her routine again. "Back to normal?"

"Yeah, exactly that," confirmed Abby. "It's something I do every Sunday... well, almost every Sunday. I need to stop leaning on you too much as well. I've done that far too much these past few days. I'm not complaining, please don't think that." She looked up at him, hoping she wasn't hurting him by her words but could see nothing but understanding and affection in his gaze. "But you'll soon get tired of me if I lean on you too much, if I'm underfoot all the time." She knew how much he valued his alone time too and didn't want to become a burden.

"Am I being an over protective candy ass?" He echoed words a lawyer had used years ago during the Mikel Mawer case, another time she'd been in danger.

She smiled. "That wouldn't be how I'd describe your gorgeous ass but maybe a little bit."

"Can't help it." He struggled to express himself. "I want... need to protect you... always have, even before you became mine to protect."

She swallowed past the sudden lump in her throat at his words. "And I know it's partly coz of the scare this week... and I love how you make me feel safe but..." She trailed off, not wanting to hurt him.

"Give you some space?" He finished for her, brushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, just a little," she told him, leaning into his touch, relieved he understood.

"Okay, I'll try," he promised.

They lay quietly together for a while longer, both enjoying the peace and each other's nearness. Abby could feel herself drifting off to sleep in his arms and kept fighting yawns, her exhaustion settling round her like a cloak. She knew if they fell asleep on his couch, both their backs would suffer by the morning. She eventually dragged herself off the couch and reached out her hand. "Come to bed."

TBC

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><p>AN: Phew... someone pass me some caffeine... hope I did it justice.


	25. Chapter 25: Deeper and Deeper

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: After all the angst, let's relax a bit… for a while anyway. And this chapter is especially for Bamacrush, my fellow smut hound.

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><p><strong>Chapter 25 – Deeper and Deeper<strong>

Abby flicked on the bedside lamp, sending a warm glow across the room. She reached up to undo her collar only to have warm hands cover her fingers, stilling them.

"Always wondered how these ones undo," came the low, amused comment from behind her. Unlike her collars which buckled almost like a belt and were easy enough to undo, the more delicate ones were trickier.

After a few seconds fumbling with the clasp, Gibbs managed to loosen it and she took the collar from him with a murmur of thanks. Before she could move, Abby felt his arms wrap round her from behind, pulling her back against his chest and pressing a soft kiss to her neck.

She sighed as she relaxed into his arms, feeling his warmth surround her. "Suddenly I'm not too sleepy any more."

He chuckled into her neck. "You need sleep, Abbs." It had been an emotional rollercoaster of a day and she'd been almost asleep in his arms just now on the couch. He'd be quite content to just cradle her tonight as she fell asleep against him in his bed.

But Abby obviously had other ideas. She reached up behind her to cup the back of his head, threading her fingers into his silver hair. "Need you more."

She turned and wound her arms round his neck, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. He hiked a questioning eyebrow at her, teasing gently. "You sure, Abbs? Not gonna fall asleep on me in the middle?"

Abby smiled. "I'm totally sure. If this were a normal time in the beginning of a relationship, what would we be doing right now on only our second night together, hmmm?" She saw his slight smile, echoing her own thought. "Yeah, that's right, we'd be in bed driving each other crazy."

"We've time, Abbs and you're tired." He refrained from saying this wasn't a normal situation given how insistent she'd been earlier that normal was exactly what she wanted.

"I'm not _that _tired. In fact, I'm rapidly waking up. Last night was incredible and we'd both want to repeat it, wouldn't we?" She smiled up at him, seeing his mouth curve slightly.

He didn't need to say anything to show he agreed with her; the spark she could see in his eyes was doing just that. She continued, pressing home her point. "So to me, this is part of us getting back to normal too, Jethro."

Abby didn't want it to sound like a cliché and didn't want him thinking that she was using him just to forget, to drive the images from the footage out of her mind. When she'd been lying on the couch, she hadn't felt remotely like sex but his closeness was having its usual rapid effect on her. She just wanted him... needed to feel their connection, to lose herself in the taste and feel of him.

Gibbs shook his head, amused. Only Abby could bring a vaguely logical argument to bear on whether they should or shouldn't have sex tonight. His body seemed to have already decided and was waking up fast. As always, he was unable to refuse Abby anything.

He smiled and pulled her closer, hands gently gliding over her hips. He bent his head to kiss her lightly, feeling her press closer, arms tightening round his neck and nails scraping in the short hair on his neck. Gibbs deepened the kiss slowly, telling her he understood with gentle touches and teasing kisses.

As Abby responded, tongue sliding over his, he tangled his hands in her hair, moaning into her mouth as he remembered how it felt to have that wet heat wrapped round him this morning.

They took their time undressing each other, leaving lingering soft kisses on every exposed inch, trailing fingertips gently exploring bare skin.

As breathtaking as she'd first looked last night, sprawled naked across his head, he'd missed undressing her. He wanted to be the one to remove that sexy underwear, slowly uncovering every curve and hollow to his questing mouth and roving hands. Tonight, as more of her ivory skin was revealed, inked lines standing out in stark contrast, he found his breath catching in his throat at just how beautiful Abby was.

Her exploration was equally eager, hands tenderly roaming over his body as each item of clothing was removed. She wanted to learn every scar, every blemish, every mark so she could map them in the dark. When he was naked in front of her, she stepped back, running an admiring gaze over the lines of his hard body, all wiry muscle from a tough lifetime.

_God, did he have any idea how __sexy he was? _

She stepped close again, running her hands over his chest and shoulders, shivering as she felt his hardness pressing against her stomach. "Indulge me, Jethro," her husky drawl lengthening his name, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. "Lie face down on the bed and let me finish that massage."

He smiled before dropping a kiss to her lips, tempted as always to deepen it, enjoying the taste of her. He nuzzled his way across her cheek to nip her earlobe, hearing her gasp. Continuing down onto her neck, licking her sensitive pulse point, he cupped his hands round her breasts. Flicking his thumbs over her nipples, he smiled against her skin as she moaned.

Pulling back before his self control slipped, he climbed onto the bed. He wasn't usually this passive, but was content to let her set the pace tonight.

After he settled on his front, arms wrapped round a pillow, she settled onto the bed behind him, clutching the mocha massage oil. Straddling his hips, Abby admired the long line of his back muscles spread out below her.

Coating her hands with oil, she slid them up either side of his spine, feeling the muscles contract at her touch. She began a gentle exploration of her own, learning every inch. Working her way gradually over his back and shoulders, she sought out every knot, massaging them away. Running her hands out along the line of his broad shoulders, Abby felt the tension in every line, no doubt from the stresses of the day. She'd been so wrapped up in herself, she felt guilty that she'd not paid enough attention to how much this was affecting him.

Abby worked each individual muscle until she felt it loosen beneath her fingers. Abby tried to convey everything she felt for him through her touch, lavishing every inch with attention. She heard him sigh and start to relax underneath her as she patiently worked her way over his warm skin.

Gibbs relaxed into her touch, enjoying the tenderness and the sensations she was creating, content to let a slow heat build. He felt the stress and the tension from earlier draining away. She had tried to make her touch soothing and easing rather than arousing but knew she hadn't quite succeeded when he shifted underneath her, moaning softly.

Not that Abby was unaffected. Far from it. Touching him was steadily turning her on.

Replacing her hands with her lips, she began nuzzling her way from his neck down his back, hearing him sigh her name as she ghosted her lips across his skin. Trailing her fingers tenderly over his body, she mentally logged what caused the most reaction, what earned her a soft moan or a strangled gasp.

Covering every inch of his back and down his firm legs with her lips, she nipped her way back up over his ass. Abby moved back up his body till she was hovering over him on all fours, breathing his name into his neck, inhaling the scent of the mocha oil combined with his usual scent of bourbon and sawdust.

Lowering herself, Abby spread herself full length along his back, soft curves moulding to him, causing him to groan and shift restlessly at the sudden contact. The touch of her hands and mouth had been arousing enough, but to feel the entire length of her body pressed against his back raised his desire unbearably. Pressed against the mattress, he was also becoming increasingly uncomfortable.

"Oh God, you feel so good," Abby murmured, soaking up his warmth, feeling her nerve endings tingle at the the electrifying contact of his skin.

"Gotta turn over, Abbs," came the soft moan, his voice sounding ragged with need.

She chuckled and eased up onto all fours again to give him space. Gibbs rolled over beneath her, and Abby glanced down his body, quirking an amused eyebrow at the sight of his straining cock. "That must've been uncomfortable."

"You've no idea," was his heartfelt reply.

Gibbs pulled her down into a tender kiss, winding his hands in her hair as she relaxed against him. Their kissed soon moved from gentle to needy and hungry, and she rocked her hips against him. Not wanting to wait any longer, she moved to straddle him, positioning him at her entrance.

Locking gazes with him, she sank slowly down onto him, feeling him stretch and fill her. She stilled as he was fully seated, savoring how he felt buried deep inside her.

Gibbs looked up at her poised above him, not able to think of a more beautiful sight, her green eyes hazy with lust as she bit her full lower lip. Unable to lie back any more, Gibbs sat up, cupping her ass to pull her more firmly against him, wanting to be as close as possible. Hearing her gasp as the change in angle increased the friction on her clit, she moved so she was almost sitting on his lap, sliding her arms round his shoulders.

Leaning in to capture her lips, he dominated her mouth even as his hands urged her to move, rocking back and forth over him. Moving together effortlessly, eyes locked, they slowly built to their releases, trying to draw it out. Gibbs' world narrowed until all he could feel and taste was the woman above him. Abby felt her orgasm approaching and clutched him as it rippled through her, intense and prolonged. Through her haze, she felt him groan against her as he found his own release.

When she came back to herself, Abby was aware of him nuzzling into her chest and she held his head to her as she tried to catch her breath. Eventually pulling back, they exchanged soft smiles and lingering kisses. She eased off him and burrowed contentedly into his side. She felt him press gentle butterfly kisses over her face till he reached her lips, breaths mingling as he barely brushed her lips.

"Think you'll sleep now?" he asked, a mixture of amusement and tenderness in his gaze.

She giggled and kissed him softly. "Getting there."

Lying quietly together, Abby couldn't stop her mind running over the events of the day, from the happiness of this morning through the angst of the afternoon, and now ending full circle this evening in his arms.

She curled her middle and ring finger towards her palm and pressed a sign into his chest. Abby felt him smile against her skin before returning the _I love you_ gesture, pressing his hand against hers to mirror the sign, entwining their fingers.

Abby felt tears prick her eyes at the intimacy of the gesture. She wasn't sure if she was about to freak him out but had to tell him how she felt. The emotional connection she felt to this man was beginning to rock her to the core. She knew she'd loved him before but her feelings seemed to get deeper with every day. "I've never felt this way about anyone before… not this intensely."

"Never expected to feel this way again, Abbs." Any discomfort Gibbs felt about saying it faded as he saw her blinding smile.

Abby gazed at him, struck by the sincerity in his tone, his gaze, taken aback that he would admit it so readily. "You know what I really like about this, Jethro? About us?" Seeing his smirk, she swiped at his chest, chuckling. "Apart from really, _really_ great sex of course… It's that we already know one another so well, warts and all. That we were friends first."

"I've got a lot of baggage, Abby?" There was so much baggage in his life that Abby didn't even know about and some he hoped she'd never find out about.

"I know you do, I'm not blind. I've got baggage too, you know, far too much, not all of which you know about" Abby admitted. "And I'm not exactly the poster girl for long term relationships either, in case you hadn't noticed. Tim was the longest relationship I've had in recent years and look how that turned out?"

He didn't push her to ask why that hadn't worked. He sensed she wanted to talk about them not past failures. They needed to talk about Tim but not now… not here in bed.

Abby went on, "I know you're a cranky, difficult bastard sometimes, that you need your space, that you need your silence, that you get so focused sometimes that you shut everyone out." He looked amused at her accurate assessment as she continued. "Well… me too. But you already know all that. You know that I'm cranky too, temperamental and unpredictable, that I get so focused in my lab that I can't think of anything else, that I need noise and music and company. We know all that about each other and accept it. That's why I think we can make this work."

He brushed her hair behind her ear before cupping her cheek, hoping more than anything that she was right. "Promise I'll try, Abbs. Try not to screw it up."

"It takes two to screw things up, Gibbs," she pointed out, turning her head to press a kiss into his palm.

"Takes two to make things work too. Not sure I was ever there enough for anyone after Shannon." She knew he wasn't talking totally about just being there physically. "I'd like to try now."

"Me too." Abby smiled tenderly at him. "You mean everything to me, you know that?"

Even if he could have somehow found the words to reply, Gibbs doubted he'd have been able to get them out over the lump in his throat. So he settled for showing her how he felt.

Hours later, Abby was left in no doubt about the depth of his feelings for her. She lost count of the number of times he made love to her with his hands, mouth and body, by turns forceful and demanding, tender and loving, playful and teasing. Finally sated and almost exhausted, they eventually fell back on the bed, both breathing heavily, sweat cooling on their skin.

His next words triggered a throaty chuckle from Abby as she crawled into arms, settling over him in a boneless heap.

"Feelin' sleepy yet?"

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><p>TBC<p>

A/N: In this story's timeline, this is Saturday night (heck, it's a been a long week!) so tomorrow being Sunday, Abby tries to get back into her usual routine. About another 4 or 5 chapters on this story to go, I think.


	26. Chapter 26: Being Alone

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: Thanks to Zivacentric for talking through Abby's visit to church with me, letting me use her as a sounding board… she's a gem.

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><p><strong>Chapter 26 - Being Alone<strong>

Her subconscious hadn't been idle while she slept.

Jerked abruptly awake from a nightmare at dawn, Abby didn't immediately realize where she was… and panicked. Disorientated, she rolled away from the warm body she was pressed against and scuttled back till she felt solid headboard at her back, gasping for breath.

Startled from sleep himself by her sudden movements, Gibbs reached for Abby before he was fully awake and only just missed being struck as she lashed out. It was only his quick reflexes that allowed him to avoid her flailing arm. He sat up and kept a safe distance, calling her name softly as she sat cowering against the head of the bed, eyes wide.

As she slowly recognized her surroundings and his deep voice got through to her, Abby's panic subsided. Gibbs could see the moment when her gaze focused again, and he held out his arms as her eyes met his. This time, she didn't hesitate and flung herself at him.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry." Abby was shaking as if she were cold and burrowed into him, letting his warmth and familiar scent calm her.

"It's okay, Abbs. I've got ya. Just relax." He wound his arms tightly round her, pulling her back to lie down and as close as possible, pressing gentle kisses to her hair.

Abby had hoped for a break from the nightmares, especially after feeling so loved and cherished, and falling into an exhausted sleep last night. But she realized that was probably a naïve hope. Her logical mind knew that it was more than likely the bad dreams would flare up again after seeing the footage. She just had to suck it up and get on with it until the nightmares started to either fade in intensity or occur with less frequency. At least she had Gibbs to hold onto, as long as she didn't knock him out in the process...

After a while her heart rate slowed, soothed by hearing the calming thud of Gibbs' heartbeat as she lay with her head on his chest.

"I was awake." Her voice sounded small in the silence.

"Hmmm?" Gibbs looked down at her as she lay in his arms.

"In my nightmare… I was awake." Abby rubbed her cheek against his chest, tightening her arm across his waist, drawing comfort from his nearness. "I dreamt of everything we saw last night but this time I was awake… awake and unable to move, to stop him, to fight him off."

"Oh, Abbs." His heart ached at the tremor in her voice.

"I woke up before he… before he could go too far." She shivered in spite of the warmth seeping back into her from both his body and the comforter over them both.

He stroked her hair softly. "Abbs…"

Abby interrupted him. "It's okay… really it is. I expected it. I kinda figured this was gonna happen… just hoped for a bit of a respite, that's all."

Gibbs sighed. "Perhaps asking a bit much after watching it last night."

"Yeah, I know." She sounded rueful. "I should know the pattern they follow by now. It's not the first time I've been plagued by nightmares, after all." Abby had always felt guilty about mentioning her nightmares in the past. She knew that Gibbs had more than his fair share, far more horrible than she'd ever have to cope with.

"Chip?" He tilted her chin up so he could see her eyes.

"Yeah, but you already know about those… remember?" She smiled gently at him, remembering how he'd taken care of her after that scare too.

"Yeah, I remember." It was another time when he'd not wanted to let her out of his sight after Chip had tried to kill her, a stark reminder that he'd nearly lost her again.

"And after Mikel." She hesitated before mentioning the name of her crazy stalker ex-boyfriend, knowing it was still a sore point between them. Abby still wasn't sure that he'd accepted why she hadn't told him about Mikel, that she'd been too embarrassed, thinking she could handle it herself.

"Oh yeah." Gibbs was hardly likely to forget that nightmarish period.

It was the first time he'd realized that the attraction he felt for Abby was more than just physical or casual. At the time he'd been unprepared for the intense feelings of jealousy and possessiveness that had swept through him. He'd been so distracted by dealing with Mikel Mawr that he'd nearly missed the equally real and parallel threat from Spooner hiring a hit man to kill Abby.

"Those nightmares were… bad and lasted a while," Abby admitted.

Gibbs quirked an eyebrow at her. "You didn't tell me that."

She tried to deflect him. "I dealt with it, it was no big deal."

It wasn't quite true.

Abby refrained from saying that she hadn't told him about how long those nightmares had lasted because he hadn't been there. He was in Mexico dealing with his own demons. The nightmares from Mikel had overlapped with those triggered by nearly losing Gibbs when he was injured in an explosion and then in a coma suffering from memory loss… and then he'd left, breaking her heart.

She'd long ago accepted why Gibbs had to leave and forgiven him, but she'd never told him just how much she had needed him then, how those four months had been the worst of her life. That was the time when she'd realized just how much he meant to her, how much she loved him, right at a time when she thought she'd lost him for good.

Before he could question her further and realize that she was holding something back, Abby changed the subject. "Sorry I nearly decked you."

He shrugged it off, smiling fondly. "You always did have one heck of a right."

"So I've been told. Good job you've got super fast Marine and special agent reflexes then." She propped her chin on his chest, lips curving in a smile as she teased him. "This morning will you drive me to my apartment so I can pick up my car? Then I can be independent next week."

He nodded, used to her lightning fast changes of topic by now. "Sure."

Abby went on. "I also want to ring Ziva this morning, thank her and see if she's up for having dinner next week."

"She said she wanted to help," Gibbs pointed out.

"She's an amazing friend… everyone's been so…" Abby found it hard to put into words how touched she'd been by how her friends had cared for her. She was determined that she'd tell them, show them what they meant to her… somehow.

"They all want to help." He brushed her hair back behind her ear.

"I know." She turned to press a kiss into his palm.

"You seein' the nuns for lunch after church?" he asked.

Abby shook her head. "Not today, next week is bowling practice. Besides, I'm not sure I can face telling them what happened… not yet." Although this Sunday wasn't one where she was scheduled to meet the Sisters, Abby knew there was more than an even chance she'd see one of them at church anyway.

"That's understandable. Only do it when you're ready, Abbs, if you tell them at all," he suggested.

Abby really didn't want the Sisters fussing over her today, and she knew they would if they found out. She hadn't decided if she was going to tell them what had happened to her in LA and was very tempted not to… although she doubted she could keep it from them completely.

Sister Rosita in particular had an uncanny knack of reading people that almost rivaled Gibbs, and Abby wasn't sure if she'd be able to get away with lying to Rosita's face. She'd have to rely on her poker face.

"I should be back for lunch… " Abby hesitated. "Unless you want me to stay out of your hair for a while?"

He shook his head, running his fingers lightly over her cheek, drinking in the sight of her lovely face. Did she not realize yet how much he needed her… how much he enjoyed her company? "Want you here."

Abby closed her eyes, sighing as she leaned into his touch, her smile widening."Last night was just… incredible." Erotic, intense, passionate, sizzling… any of those would describe one of the hottest nights of her life.

Now Gibbs had stopped holding back, he was showing her that arrogant ease in bed she'd suspected was there all along. He seemed to find all her buttons with breathtaking surety, discovering hot spots even she didn't know she had.

She just couldn't get enough of him.

"Yeah, it was." He slid his hands into her hair and pulled her up for a kiss, which he'd intended to keep light but once again Abby had other ideas. She responded hungrily to him, and one kiss soon became two and then three. Heat built rapidly between them as she moulded her body to his and they soon became lost in each other again.

It took them a while to tumble out of bed, extricating themselves from the rumpled sheets and climb into the shower, and then even longer before they made it as far as actually getting dressed.

Another delay came after he watched Abby slide her usual Sunday best outfit of demure Victorian Gothic over sexy black lace underwear, which led to a heavy make-out session pressed up against the bedroom door. They eventually made it downstairs to the kitchen where soft kisses and lingering touches interspersed a hurried breakfast.

All of which meant that Abby arrived at church slightly later than usual. She slipped into her usual pew, hoping not to draw attention to herself.

Abby was relieved in a way to be on her own. Not that she didn't want to be with Gibbs but she needed some time to herself, especially here. Even without the importance her religion played in her life, sometimes it was just the building itself which gave her peace.

It was the one place where she did feel the need for silence… and drew comfort from it.

She knew Gibbs wasn't a regular churchgoer. He usually attended Christmas Mass with her each year but with everything he'd lost in his life, she knew he had a slightly uncomfortable relationship with religion. Abby didn't have the strength at the moment to worry about whether he would feel awkward sitting next to her, not that he'd show it of course. He'd be his usual caring self, as he always was but she'd be concerned about him nonetheless.

Abby let the peace of the Mass wash over her, keeping her head down as she absorbed the service. The church was well attended, as usual, and she hoped the size of the congregation would allow her to sit there relatively unnoticed. Abby took communion but after she returned to her pew, she didn't move to leave when everyone else did.

As the service ended, Abby nodded and smiled at everyone she recognized as they left but tried to avoid being drawn into any conversations.

Abby sat in the quiet after everybody else had gone, drawing strength from the surroundings, while losing herself in her own silent prayers. The building itself had always soothed and calmed her, the beauty of its architecture and sacred atmosphere all combining to allow her to feel a little more in touch with her own spirituality here.

It was a healing place.

She'd drawn strength from her faith and the quiet and safety of the church many times in the past to recover from particularly traumatic cases… during those times when her friends, and not even Gibbs, had been able to help her cope and to forget.

Despite all she'd been through in the past week, her experiences hadn't caused her to question her faith, but neither had it strengthened her relationship with God. She'd seen enough horror through her work to believe that He wasn't responsible for man's own inhumanity to his fellow man or woman.

She seemed to be alone so she continued to sit, enjoying the peace, lost in thought.

Watching from nearby, Sister Rosita had spotted Abby earlier during the service and, after it had concluded, had started to make her way over to greet her friend. Something about Abby's expression had made her pause and she sat in a nearby pew to allow Abby her moment of quiet reflection.

Abby eventually looked up, sensing she was no longer alone and saw Sister Rosita sitting nearby. Resigned to the fact that of course it had to be Sister Rosita who'd found her, she steeled herself, hoping she could put on a convincing enough act.

"Abby, welcome back, my dear." They exchanged a warm hug and Sister Rosita joined her on the pew, linking arms with Abby, delighted to see her again. "So how was the trip? I know we weren't due to have lunch today but if you let me treat you, you can tell me all about it."

Her offer didn't get the usual enthusiastic response that she'd have expected from Abby. In fact, Abby's face fell at her words and Rosita saw her gnaw at her lip, a sure sign Abby was either nervous or upset. Rosita was even more alarmed to see her friend's eyes suddenly shining with tears.

"Abby, what's wrong?" she asked gently.

So much for her poker face. It lasted all of ten seconds around the intuition of Sister Rosita, probably about as long as it would around Gibbs' gut.

Abby shook her head, desperate not to talk about it here. She wasn't sure she could cope with the sympathy.

Abby felt a warm hand cover her own and looked up to see Sister Rosita giving her an understanding smile. "Something unexpected happened?"

She obviously knew her too well. Abby nodded, whispering "Yes."

Sister Rosita picked up on her reluctance, knowing that Abby would tell her when she was ready and settled for asking instead, "Are you alright?"

Abby started to say, "Yes," but then changed it to, "No," before shrugging helplessly, not wanting to go into details but not wanting to lie to her friend either.

"Do you have anyone helping you?" Sister Rosita asked. "Is Jethro with you?"

Abby nodded emphatically, "Oh yes, he is… very much."

"Good. Then I know you'll be safe." Rosita was somewhat placated. She knew how much Gibbs cared for Abby, and had long wondered if the feelings went deeper than that. She was almost certain they were reciprocated. Every time Rosita saw them together, she was left in no doubt just how much the Marine meant to Abby.

"I am, Rosita. He's taking very good care of me, don't worry." Abby gave the Sister a wan smile, grateful she hadn't pressed her for any details.

"There are a whole host of possibly clichéd phrases I could say to you right now." Sister Rosita gave her a warm smile. "I'm sure you could quote some of them back to me without too much thought, Abby. Without knowing what is wrong and what happened to you, I won't insult you by saying any of them." She reached over to take Abby's hand. "Just remember that I am here if you need me, Abby. We all are, but take your time. Go at your own pace. There is no rush, no deadline and no timetable on healing."

Abby swallowed past the lump in her throat, fighting back tears. "Thank you, Rosita."

They sat there quietly side by side for a while, Sister Rosita holding her hand as Abby regained her composure.

Eventually, Abby squeezed Rosita's hand before standing and gathering up her bag. "I must go."

Sister Rosita stood with her. "Will you come to lunch and bowling practice next Sunday, Abby?"

"Of course," confirmed Abby. "I'm looking forward to it."

"Will Jethro be coming too?"

"I'll ask him." Abby refrained from rolling her eyes at the hopeful note in Rosita's voice. All the Sisters knew Gibbs as he occasionally came bowling with Abby, and they all adored him.

Abby smiled inwardly as she thought of the fun times they'd all had together, and how she usually had to fight for Gibbs' attention, inevitably losing out to the combined might of the nuns when they had a silver-haired Marine in their sights.

Sister Rosita kissed her cheek goodbye. Abby enfolded her in a hug, conveying her thanks without words, feeling too emotional to even try.

When Abby left the building, she felt lighter… perhaps one step further along a healing path. She was keen to get back home and start preparing dinner for Ducky who was coming over later.

_Home?_

Where had that come from? Since when did she start thinking of his house as home?

Abby couldn't pinpoint the moment when she started thinking that way. She'd always felt _at_ home in his house, but it was suddenly so much more than just a place to stay. Or was it the man himself who made the difference? That wherever Gibbs was now, suddenly felt like home.

TBC

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><p>AN: Another tricky chapter… have got maybe 3 or 4 more chapters to go, but I can see an end in sight!


	27. Chapter 27: Basement Reflections

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating this – been a bit caught up in a picnic smutfest… completely led astray by Bamacrush!

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>**7 – Basement Reflections **

Returning home after dropping Abby off to pick up her car, Gibbs headed straight for his usual refuge in the basement. He'd fallen behind in making the toys for the children's hospital… too many distractions, he thought wryly. Besides, he felt he needed some time to reflect on everything that had happened, what a rollercoaster it had been and how many changes had been wrought in his life in such a short time.

As the rhythm of working on the wood settled his mind, Gibbs thought about the last few days.

Abby was intoxicating and made him feel like a teenager again. Maybe part of it was down to the honeymoon period any new relationship enjoys. Whatever the reason, they couldn't keep their hands off one another.

But it was much more than just a physical attraction. He hadn't felt this way in a long time and it was both thrilling and scary as hell. He thought he'd been prepared for how much it would mean when they finally acted on their attraction, but he'd been blown away by how strong their emotional connection was, even right from the first night.

Gibbs found himself dreading the day when she'd move back to her apartment. He knew Abby valued her independence and didn't want to crowd her but he'd grown used to having her around, even after only a few days.

He shook his head for being a foolish old man…

_D__on't rush things, Gunny._

Even if he felt like he'd wasted years, if he rushed her now, he might frighten her away.

As he worked, he thought back over something else that had been nagging at his subconscious him from earlier.

Her nightmares…

Not the current ones because a flare up was to be expected, especially after seeing the footage only yesterday. But the ones from years ago, Chip and especially Mikel Mawr. Why hadn't he realized at the time how long they'd plagued her?

Why hadn't she come to him?

Then it hit him why… closely followed by a feeling of guilt rushing in.

Of course he hadn't known… he hadn't even been here when Abby needed him most. He'd fled to Mexico, leaving everyone behind in an attempt to run away from his own ghosts… as if that could ever work.

So Abby had dealt with that alone.

But not once had she berated him for it, not once had she even mentioned it. He shook his head, feeling the usual urge to protect her from everything rise up, vowing to himself she'd never be alone to face anything again… at least not while he was still alive.

Gibbs was drawn from his thoughts by the sound of the front door. It wasn't long before Abby made her way down the steps, smiling as she saw him.

He put down the toy he was working on. "Hey, Abbs."

"Hey, Gibbs." She slipped her arms round his neck from behind, kissing his neck. "Have you eaten yet?"

He turned to kiss her softly. "Nope, was just gonna get a sandwich. You?"

She shook her head, hugging him briefly. "No, I'll get us something… and more coffee."

He watched as she moved away, trailing her fingers over some of the completed toys, a thoughtful expression on her face.

"You okay, Abbs?" Gibbs asked.

"Yeah." She threw a brief but genuine smile in his direction. "It was good… just to sit quietly, let the peace of the place wash over me. And I did bump into Sister Rosita in church. I was hoping I wouldn't but that wasn't very likely, was it?"

He turned towards her, reaching for her hand. "Did she worm it out of ya?"

"No." Abby sighed, shaking her head. "I know she'd be horrified and sympathetic, as all the Sisters would be but I just couldn't… couldn't face telling them everything, not yet."

"Understandable." He ran his thumb gently over her knuckles.

"I'll tell them next week… " Abby paused, considering. "Maybe tell all them together, perhaps at lunch next Sunday. Get all the gale force sympathy and smothering out of the way in one go rather than one at a time."

Gibbs nodded. "Good idea." He knew she wouldn't want to keep repeating the story over and over. She would have enough of that next week at the psych eval.

"I don't think it'll come as too much of a shock to Sister Rosita though," she told him, wryly. "She picked up something was hinky this morning but she didn't push me, bless her. Just asked me if I was being looked after, asked if you were nearby."

He smiled gently at her. "Nothin' much gets past Rosita. I oughta let her do interrogations sometimes."

"Will you come with me, be there when I tell them?" she asked him, biting her lip.

"Sure, Abbs, if you want me to." He tugged her closer and she slid willingly onto his lap, looping her arm round his neck.

"Yeah, I do." She dropped a quick kiss on his lips. "Rosita asked about you, whether you're gonna come to bowling practice next weekend?"

"Yeah, I'll come. Rosita still think I need bowling lessons?"

Abby laughed. "I hate to break it to you, Gibbs, but the Sisters standing behind you at bowling supposedly giving you bowling advice has nothing to do with your bowling action and everything to do with that gorgeous ass of yours."

"What?"

"Yup," she snorted in amusement at the look on his face. "They're all too preoccupied with ogling your butt to actually be watching your bowling action."

He started chuckling, shaking his head. "Think that might be a red light situation, Abbs?"

"What's the matter, Gibbs?" She teased him, a playful grin curving her lips. "Never been sexually harassed by a nun before?"

"First time for everything I guess."

"Mind you, I've been right there ogling right alongside them over the years," she confessed, seeing his eyes twinkling.

"Yeah?" He slid his arm round her waist, pulling her more firmly against him.

"Oh yeah, but now I don't have to hide it, don't have to make sure I'm looking somewhere else when you turn round." She didn't have to hide it now whenever she looked at him… except in the Navy Yard. The years of trying to mask what she felt were over.

"Now ya tell me." Gibbs kissed her slowly, feeling her sigh against his mouth and slide her arms round his neck, pressing closer. When they broke for air, he wrapped his arms round her, resting his head against hers, content to sit quietly.

Eventually Abby extricated herself from his lap. "I gotta think about starting on dinner." Gathering up her bag, she looked over the table, counting the completed toys and the ones still to be finished. "You gonna be ready with this lot for Christmas?"

"Should be." He picked up the nearest toy to begin work again. "Be even quicker if someone helped me with the painting."

She glanced at him, a smile curving her lips. "Is that a subtle hint, Special Agent Gibbs?"

"Did it work?" he asked, smirking.

"Maybe." Abby laughed. "Oh, I get it now. You wanted me to stay just so you'd have extra slave labor to get these toys ready in time."

"Busted."

Her throaty chuckle broke out. "Okay, I'll help… but later. Now I gotta start on dinner or Ducky'll be eating the toughest gumbo I've ever made." She paused, glancing round the basement, looking wistful. "You know, it's a pity there's no boat down here still?"

"Yeah, why's that?" he asked, curious if her reason matched his.

Her grin was wicked. "Well, that's one fantasy I can't tick off."

"You too, huh?" She saw the boyish grin she loved break out.

"Oh _yeah_. You pinning me up against your boat down here topped the fantasy charts for quite some time." Dropping her bag again, she moved nearer, standing in front of him and sliding her fingers into his hair, scraping her nails over the back of his neck, seeing his eyes darken.

He gazed up at her beautiful face, loving the sparkle in her eyes, cupping her cheek in his palm. "One day I'll build ya one, Abbs."

"For me?" she whispered, amazement lacing her voice.

"Yeah, and not burn it this time," he promised her, kissing her softly.

He wasn't sure he could adequately express in words what she meant to him, but he could build her a damn boat and try and show her.

She felt tears well up, moved beyond words at the gesture. "Oh, Jethro, I'd love that… And I'll try not take it apart with a chainsaw this time either." She still felt guilty about that.

He saw a shadow pass over her face and sought to reassure her, knowing she still hadn't forgiven herself even if it wasn't her fault. "Oh, Abbs, I told ya to do it."

"I know, it's just… " She looked down, biting her lip. "I know what the _Kelly _meant to you and I'm still so sorry I had to take it apart."

"Well, don't be. I'm past it and you should be too. Mike had good reason for doing what he did, even though I was pissed at him at the time." When she still didn't look convinced, he pulled her closer. "C'mere."

Gibbs reached up to brush a few stray strands away from her forehead as she stepped in between his legs. He slid his hands over the silky material of her dress, enjoying the feel of her curves before pulling her head down into a lingering kiss. Cradling her head, he felt for the fastenings in her hair, pulling back when he couldn't immediately figure out how the buns undid.

Abby giggled as she took in his puzzlement and reached up to free the pins holding her buns in place He grinned at her as the dark silk fell about her face, unable to resist sliding his fingers into her hair, massaging her scalp.

Bending to taste him again, the kiss soon deepened becoming hot and hungry. They began fumbling with their clothing, hands roaming teasingly as their need built quickly and intensely.

They only managed to get partially undressed in their desperation before Abby sank down onto him, clinging to him as they both moaned at the contact. He steadied her as she rode him hard and fast, as if they'd been apart for days instead of just a few hours.

Afterwards they clung together as they calmed down, breathing ragged. "You tryin' to kill me, Abbs?"

Nuzzling into his neck, Abby giggled. "Well, that's the basement christened. That leaves the kitchen…"

He snorted, arms tightening around her. "Hallway."

"Oh yeah," her voice was huskier than usual, sending goosebumps down his spine, "and the lounge. and especially the rug in front of the fire."

"You got that one too, huh?" A particularly vivid fantasy of his had been Abby spread out beneath him, the glow from the firelight dancing across her skin. One still to cross off the list…

Eventually untangling themselves, they straightened their clothing and Abby looked round for wherever her panties had landed. When she found them from where Gibbs had flung them on the other workbench, she started laughing.

She turned back to him, dangling her torn panties. "I can see this is gonna cost me in replacement underwear."

His grin was wolfish. "I'll buy you more."

"Yeah, I bet you will. In fact, I think it's a cunning plan to see a parade of completely new underwear each week."

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><p>TBC<p>

A/N: Thanks so much for all your awesome reviews and continued support for what is turning into a marathon! Would you believe I only intended this story to be a few chapters? *heads desk*


	28. Chapter 28: Evening Distractions

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating – been working on a few other things and not had much time lately. Work keeps getting in the way, drat it!

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><p><strong>Chapter 28 – <strong>**Evening Distractions**

The rest of the afternoon passed with Gibbs working in the basement and Abby immersed in preparing dinner for Ducky's visit. As the tantalizing cooking smells permeated the house, Gibbs hardly needed much excuse to pop upstairs for regular coffee refills and to take the opportunity to sneak up on the cook, stealing lingering kisses until she chased him away, laughing that he was distracting her.

As the afternoon drifted into the evening, Gibbs finished off downstairs and came up to lounge in the kitchen doorway, sipping coffee and watching Abby move around the kitchen, looking completely at home. She'd changed into comfy sweatpants and one of his sweatshirts earlier, which looked far better on her he thought, and had pulled her hair up into loose pigtails.

She'd refused his offer of help with dinner, saying she was enjoying herself too much and she did look almost back to her bubbly self. Since Abby arrived on Friday, Gibbs had surprised himself by not feeling the slightest bit of discomfort at seeing her looking so comfortable in his space; in fact, the exact opposite. Abby just looked so _right_, it was as if his house… _and he… _had suddenly found a missing piece.

Grabbing his wrist to look at his watch as she passed by jolted him out of his thoughts. "Ducky'll be here soon. I'd better go and get changed."

Putting down his coffee, Gibbs dropped a quick kiss on her lips. "I'll make up the fire." Watching her run up the stairs, Gibbs felt himself looking forward to the evening with his old friend and his girl; it would be something normal after the stress of the past few week.

It didn't take long before the fire was roaring nicely, casting a warm glow about the room. He soon heard the distinctive growl of Ducky's Morgan outside and went to greet his friend. No sooner was Ducky inside, carrying a bottle and a single black rose than they both heard footsteps on the stairs and Ducky turned to greet Abby with a smile.

"Ducky!" She threw herself at the ME and Gibbs was quick to grab the bottle before the smaller man was nearly bowled off his feet as he became wrapped up in an Abby attack hug. Ducky looked equally delighted to see her and when she pulled back from the embrace, presented the flower with a flourish.

"Aaaw, Ducky, it's lovely." She sniffed at the rose, smiling as he divested himself of his coat and hat. Wrapping an arm around Ducky's shoulders, Abby steered him towards the kitchen. "Come in, come and talk to me while I finish dinner." Ducky wrapped his own arm round her waist as he walked with her.

Gibbs felt his breath hitch as he registered what she was wearing. Low slung black leather trousers hugged her curves tightly and a sparkly black top that ended just above the waist of the pants, left a strip of pale skin that just begged to be stroked. He'd seen those pants before, usually when she was heading straight to a club from NCIS, and she looked incredible in them.

_Hol__y crap, how was he supposed to control himself when all he wanted to do was run his hands over the soft leather on her ass? _

The impish grin she threw him over Ducky's shoulder showed she knew exactly what effect she was having on him. Judging by the wide grin on Ducky's face, he was equally appreciative of her outfit. "Abigail, you look wonderful, even if it is a strain on an old man's blood pressure."

Abby giggled. "Oh Ducky, you are sweet, I know how you like these pants." She reached out to tweak his more elaborate bow tie. "I knew you'd be looking very handsome and dapper tonight, so I thought I'd dress up a bit even if it is a bit flashy for dinner indoors."

"I'm gonna get changed, you two make me feel under-dressed," Gibbs said, amused, as he followed them into the kitchen.

"Let me open the wine and see if I can help Abby in the kitchen, something smells delicious," remarked Ducky.

Gibbs took Ducky's coat, before heading upstairs to shower off the sawdust. As Ducky uncorked the wine, he looked closely at Abby as she carried on with dinner. She looked much less strained than barely 24 hours ago, the sparkle finally back in her green eyes.

"Anything I can do, Abby?"

She smiled brightly at him. "Nope, Duck-man, it's all under control and it'll be ready soon. I love cooking, Ducky, you know I do. It's like science… a little bit of this, a bit of that. It relaxes me."

"You're certainly looking more relaxed than yesterday," he observed.

"I'm feeling much better. Gibbs has been… " She gave him a shy smile. "just wonderful. I'm not sure I could have coped without him." She rummaged in the cupboard, searching for a vase, frowning as she came up empty handed. They both laughed as she dug out an empty beer bottle to hold her rose. "There, that'll have to do, it's lovely, Ducky." She kissed him quickly on the nose.

"You know as well as I do that Jethro wants nothing more than to protect you and look after you. You're good for him, Abby." He smiled gently at her and moved to help as she set the table, lighting the single candle she'd placed in the centre.

"He makes me very happy, Ducky. I don't know if I'm gonna mess this up but I'm gonna try not to and I just… " She glanced at her friend. "I can't imagine wanting to be anywhere else."

"I'm really pleased for you both." He reached out to squeeze her shoulder warmly.

Abby paused before continuing, looking down at her hands and biting her lip. "He watched the footage with me yesterday, and I'm so glad he did, even though I didn't want to put him through it again."

"And how do you feel now you've seen it?" asked Ducky, quietly.

"Better," nodded Abby. "I mean it wasn't easy to watch it. It was horrible and I don't ever want to see it again, but that's it now. I know it can't get any worse and I'm not going to let that guy have any further hold over me or my life any more, not now I know what he did."

"I doubt it's as simple as that, Abby," Ducky pointed out, not unkindly. "and I suspect you know that deep down."

"Yeah, I do," replied Abby, sighing, "but what I meant was my imagination doesn't need to supply any more images, like it was doing. I know what he did and that's the worst of it."

"How are the nightmares?" Ducky suspected that seeing the footage might have caused a flare up in their intensity.

She grimaced. "Bad this morning, but it would be odd if that didn't happen after only seeing it yesterday. I'm okay though… Gibbs was there with me. That makes a big difference." She smiled as she remembered his tenderness. "If I can just get through the psych eval on Wednesday, then I can really start putting it behind me and get back to work. And I'm really, really sorry I lost my temper yesterday, Ducky, please forgive me." She reached over to hug him.

"I thought we'd gone through this yesterday, Abby, there is nothing to forgive." He patted her back, returning her hug, trying to reassure her. "You have no need to apologize and I'm sorry I didn't trust your judgment."

They were distracted from their conversation by Gibbs returning downstairs. Abby grinned as she saw that he'd changed not into his usual jeans but into smart black pants and a dark blue button-down shirt that emphasized his piercing blue eyes.

_By God, he looked __totally hot… but then didn't he always?_

He gave her a boyish grin as he joined them and she tore her eyes away with difficulty. "Dinner's just about ready, guys, if you can give me a hand."

"Have some wine, Jethro." Ducky poured a glass for each of them.

"How hungry are you, Ducky?" She started dishing up the steaming dish of chicken gumbo. "I made plenty, although the last time I made this, I seem to remember you two polished off the lot in one go."

"Ah, but that's because you're a wonderful cook, Abigail, and this is my favorite, as you well know." Ducky carried the wine to the table, along with her 'rose in a bottle'.

"She's such a terrific cook, Duck, I may have to keep her." Gibbs grinned and tugged on a pigtail as he passed by to pick up the plates, brushed 'accidentally' against her leather pants on the way.

She jumped at the contact and giggled, smiling up at him. "You only want me for my cooking."

His low whisper of "Busted," in her ear as he leaned in close caused goosebumps to rise. She gasped as she felt his hand ghost across the bare skin of her stomach as he reached for the plates, unseen by Ducky. Before she could react further, he'd moved away carrying the heaped plates to the table. She'd worn these pants to deliberately stir him up, looking forward to some fun teasing him but payback with Gibbs usually meant she'd be driven half out of her mind.

As they settled down at Gibbs' small table, Ducky set their glasses on the table and Gibbs did a double take when he spotted the rose. "I had to improvise as I couldn't find a vase, Gibbs," she pointed out, chuckling.

He had the grace to look sheepish. "Probably not."

Abby giggled. "I think I like it better this way anyway."

"You know you've got lipstick on your nose, Duck," Gibbs pointed out, smirking.

When Ducky missed with the first swipe of his handkerchief, Abby laughingly reached over to wipe it off gently. She felt Gibbs shift his legs under the small table until the heat of his leg rested against hers. She raised her eyebrows at him and he gazed back at her, levelly, only an amused twinkle deep in his blue eyes giving him away.

"Before we eat, and at the risk of being too formal, I'd like to propose a toast," Ducky interjected, raising his glass as he drew their attention." To you both. I can't tell you how happy I am for both of you."

Abby was slightly amazed when Gibbs placed a warm hand over hers and she met his warm blue eyes, returning his soft smile. She turned towards Ducky, feeling happier than she could ever remember. "Thanks, Ducky. It means a lot to me that you approve."

Gibbs nodded at his friend in gratitude. He suspected he was going to get the fatherly 'don't hurt her' talk at some point during the week, but couldn't begrudge Ducky that. He knew how much the Scotsman loved Abby like a daughter.

She looked so beautiful tonight. As she laughed and chatted with Ducky, Gibbs found he could barely drag his eyes away from her face, the curve of her cheek as she leant her head on her hand, her green eyes shining and what seemed like a permanent smile curving her full lips.

And that's without thinking about those damn pants, which he could feel sliding against his leg at every movement she made.

As they tucked in to the food, Abby found herself enjoying the chance to relax completely. They'd often had dinner together over the years, just the three of them. Her new relationship with Gibbs was just another aspect of the close friendship they all shared; one which she hoped wouldn't alter that dynamic.

The atmosphere during the meal was lighthearted and cheerful, Abby laughing as she listened to the stories from both men as they tried to outdo and out-embarrass one another. Ducky could see how Gibbs seemed much more physically relaxed around Abby than he'd expected him to show in front of someone else, the two of them exchanging soft smiles and frequent gentle touches. Gibbs' face was open and unguarded, his usual neutral mask gone, eyes clearly showing his feelings clearly as he looked at Abby.

It was a side Ducky couldn't remember seeing in his friend for a long time, not even with any of his ex-wives. He'd only ever seen Gibbs like this with Jenny in Paris, and of course he'd never seen him with Shannon, but he took great delight in how happy Gibbs looked now. Ducky chuckled as he listened to their banter, delighted that they felt comfortable enough in his presence to show it. Whatever stresses and strains they'd both endured over the past few days, their bond seemed, if anything, strengthened.

"After church this morning I rang Ziva," Abby told them, quietly, in a gap in the conversation. "I've missed her. We didn't have much chance to talk on Friday and I'd like to spend some time with her to talk to her about… what happened, as long as it won't be too painful for her. She's invited me over for dinner on Wednesday."

Gibbs nodded. "Good timing."

"After the psych eval?" Ducky thought that made sense and it was typical of Ziva to pick the most practical time, when she could be the most help.

"Yeah, I've a feeling what Ziva has to say will mean a lot more to me than whatever I have to officially go through just to get cleared to go back to work. But I don't want to bring up too many painful memories for her." Abby toyed with her wine glass, looking thoughtful.

"She wouldn't offer to help if she didn't want to, Abbs." Gibbs pointed out, squeezing her hand.

"I agree with Jethro, and hopefully, you'll be cleared to go back to work after next week," confirmed Ducky, sipping his wine. "By the time the psych eval report comes in… well, that should take maybe a day or so, so it might be Monday before Vance will let you back."

"Don't remind me." she huffed, sounding exasperated at the delay. "A whole week more without my babies. God knows what state they'll be in by the time I get back." She swatted Gibbs on the shoulder when he chuckled but he grinned at her unrepentant.

"Are you coming back to work tomorrow, Jethro?" asked Ducky.

"We haven't talked about it, but if Abby wants me to stay, I will." Gibbs glanced at her.

"As tempting as that is, Jethro, I'll be fine," she reassured him, brightly. "You must be tired of looking after me by now and itching to go back to work." Ducky hid a smile at Abby's continued use of Gibbs' first name. "Besides, remember what I said about…"

"Getting' back to normal," finished Gibbs, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, I remember, Abbs but I'm not tired of lookin' after ya." She didn't really think that, did she?

Abby smiled at him, before continuing, "Besides, I haven't done any of the editing I said I would or worked on my own papers."

"Or watched too much TV I'll be bound," teased Ducky.

Abby smiled at Ducky, feeling herself blushing as she caught sight of Gibbs' smirk. "Nope, he's way too distracting." She jumped slightly as she felt Gibbs hand squeeze her leather clad knee under the table. He was turned innocently towards Ducky, his body hiding what he was doing. Struggling to focus as she felt his fingers trace patterns on the leather, she went on. "Although I'll have to watch something before Tony interrogates me about which DVDs I've seen, or I'll never hear the end of it."

Ducky chuckled, as he kept his gaze down, suspecting that Abby's reaction just now had something to do with Jethro and those spectacular leather pants. "Oh, before I forget, Mr Palmer gave me something to give you, Abby. He was out and very sorry to have missed you on Friday."

Ducky reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a wrapped packet. Smiling, Abby ripped it open and gasped as she saw what the gift was. "Oh, Ducky, that is _so _sweet."

"A pen?" asked Gibbs, curious.

"Yeah, Jimmy must have remembered that I lost a favorite pen the other week, and this is the _exact_ same pen." She shook her head, touched at the thoughtfulness of the present.

"Jimmy said he was going to give it to you at Christmas but decided to give it to you early after everything that had happened." Ducky suspected that his young assistant had a crush on Abby, along with most of the rest of the male staff in NCIS.

"I'd ask you to deliver a thank you hug, Ducky, but I suspect it would terrify him." She chuckled. "I'll deliver it in person when I go in next week. I've still got all my other presents and cards to open. I haven't…" She glanced at Gibbs, feeling herself blushing again as he quirked an eyebrow at her, eyes twinkling, "I haven't got round to it yet." There was a certain six foot distraction sitting right next to her…

"When you get back to work, Abigail, do you think you'll continue with your blog?" asked Ducky, amused at the interplay.

"I don't know, Ducky," replied Abby, shrugging. "I haven't thought it through yet. It's the one thing that I'm finding difficult to accept, that he was right under my nose for months and I never realized."

"Hindsight's 20/20, Abbs," Gibbs reminded her, rubbing her shoulder.

"I know but…" Abby trailed off, sounding unsure.

"You don't have to decide now, my dear, but just don't dismiss it out of hand," Ducky remarked, leaning forward to emphasize his point. "You've made and can continue to make a remarkable contribution to it, it would be poorer without you."

"Okay, I'll think about it, Ducky," conceded Abby. Gibbs shook his head minutely at Ducky, sensing she didn't want to discuss it now. Abby went on, getting to her feet. "Now then, second anyone or dessert? Cheesecake and coffee?"

Both men opted for dessert over seconds and Gibbs cleared the table while Abby pulled the cheesecake out of the fridge. Gibbs was more than a bit distracted every time she brushed past him in those sleek pants. He wanted nothing more than to run his hands over those curvy hips and kiss his way across the bare skin of her stomach and leaned against the counter, trying to concentrate on putting on a fresh pot of coffee.

Over dessert, the talk turned to the approaching Christmas.

"I think Gloria will be coming up for a few days over the New Year, she's spending Christmas at home with my brother." As pleased as Abby was at the thought of her mother visiting, it was the prospect of her first Christmas with Gibbs that really thrilled her, although she knew he always found it a difficult time. She was determined she wouldn't crowd him or force him to celebrate if he didn't want to.

"I look forward to that, Abby. Perhaps I can take you both out to dinner again?" suggested Ducky.

Abby laughed. "I imagine Gloria will insist on it, Ducky. Although last time, you two flirted so outrageously, I felt like getting both of you a room." Abby pointed her spoon at Ducky. "I saw my mom use signs that day that I _really_ never wanted to see her use. And then I had to translate for Ducky… it was just so totally embarrassing."

Gibbs laughed. "I'm sorry I missed that, Duck."

His eyes twinkling, Ducky said, "Ah, but I've been learning a few more signs since then, Abby."

"I'm not going to ask _what _signs you've learned, Ducky, I'm far too young." She heard Gibbs snort with amusement and threw him a wide smile.

Ducky chuckled. "Perhaps we can all go out together?"

"Gloria would love that, her two favorite men fussing over her." Abby reached out to touch Gibbs' arm. "I know we haven't talked about this yet, but I'd like to tell Gloria about us."

Gibbs' lop-sided grin broke out. "She'll probably guess, Abbs, just like everyone else seems to have done."

"True," acknowledged Abby, chuckling. "Even Emily this morning went straight for the jugular and had figured it all out without being told."

"That sounds like Emily," remarked Ducky, smiling.

Gibbs covered her hand where it lay on his arm. "Need to ring Jackson and see what he's doing for Christmas… tell him about us." The blinding smile that broke out on her face told him how pleased she was at the thought.

"Do you think he'll visit?" asked Ducky. He knew Gibbs' father hadn't visited his son in DC last year at Christmas but then neither had Gibbs visited Stillwater. Although their relationship was gradually improving, it was slow progress and if Gibbs was anything like his father, their joint stubbornness would take some getting over.

"Dunno." Gibbs shrugged, before glancing at Abby. "Seeing Abby might be a better incentive than seeing me."

"Assuming he approves." She sounded uncertain. Abby was very fond of Jackson and had kept in touch with him, but was under no illusion that he might not welcome the thought of her being involved with his son.

She was brought out of her reverie by Gibbs squeezing her hand. "Don't think you need worry about that, Abbs."

As Abby had cooked, Gibbs insisted on doing the dishes while she and Ducky relaxed in front of the fire. Ducky took his customary armchair and Abby settled on the rug next to him, leaning her head against his leg as they chatted quietly.

When Gibbs joined them, carrying the bourbon bottle, he paused in the doorway, taking in the sight before him, enjoying the play of firelight over Abby's hair. After he'd poured them all drinks, Abby joined him on the couch and he put his arm around her as she curled into his side and leaned her head against his shoulder.

They chatted idly with the ease of close friends and Ducky stayed for a while longer but eventually excused himself. As tempting as it was to sit and drink the evening away, he had to drive home and two of them at least were due at work tomorrow.

Abby hugged him tightly as he bid farewell and Gibbs drew her into his side as they stood at the door, waving Ducky goodbye. She shivered as she felt the winter chill contrasting with the warmth inside. After Ducky had driven away, they retreated indoors and she turned to head back to the fire but paused when she realized Gibbs hadn't moved from near the door.

She glanced at him curiously and felt a tug of desire as she caught the heated look in his eye.

"C'mere." His voice was low and rough. A slow, seductive smile broke out on her face and she moved slowly towards him, eyes locked. When Abby got within reach, he pulled her close sliding his hands round to cup her ass, enjoying the feel of the soft leather after what felt like hours of torture. "You know you've been drivin' me crazy all night?"

"_Really?_ And of course you haven't been doing the same, have you? You looked good enough to eat." Her throaty chuckle sent a jolt straight to his cock. Gibbs bent his head and kissed her hungrily, swallowing her low moan as he ground against her, letting her feel what she did to him. He sliding his hands over as much of the leather as he could reach as she pressed close.

"Then we'd better go upstairs," she practically purred when they parted, gasping as she felt his mouth slide down to her neck, wandering over the spots that made her go weak at the knees.

"Not sure I can make it that far, Abbs." He murmured into her neck, kissing the spider web tattoo. "How d'ya feel about christening the rug in front of the fire?"

TBC


	29. Chapter 29: Firelight and Leather

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: This chapter has no redeeming features other than smut for smut's sake! I actually didn't intend to continue with the implied smut from the end of last chapter, but just refer back to it in this next chapter… leaving it as implied (coz you know how reluctantly I write smut *innocent face*!).

But the thought of fire… rug… leather… was obviously just too much for you ravening smut hounds! Bamacrush in particular positively insisted on some smut, demanding wench that she is! So, hun, here's the 'peeling off' you wanted, and I've nicked what you said the other day when we were talking about Doppelganger… see if you can spot it, my friend! *grin*

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><p><strong>Chapter 29 – Firelight and Leather<strong>

"_How d'ya feel about christening the rug in front of the fire?"_

The delighted grin Abby shot him showed what she thought of his idea. She grabbed his hand and pulled him into the lounge, turning the light off and leaving the room lit only by the warm glow of the fire. Chuckling at her haste, Gibbs turned her towards him when they reached the rug. He captured her mouth, kissing her hungrily and sliding his hands round the leather of the pants to cup her ass, unable to keep away from the soft, sensuous material.

Abby returned his kiss with equal enthusiasm, winding her arms round his neck and pressing close. Pulling the ties from her pigtails, Gibbs pushed his hands into her silky hair, hearing her low moan as he slowly massaged her scalp.

Breaking the kiss, Gibbs felt a surge of masculine satisfaction at her dazed look and swollen lips. He'd spent what felt like the whole evening on edge, wanting nothing more than to bury himself in her heat. But seeing her standing there bathed in firelight, looking so beautiful, a smile curving those full lips and green eyes hazy with lust, he felt his urgency drain away.

Abby deserved to be worshipped… slowly… thoroughly, and he was damn well gonna take his time getting her out of those leather pants, even if it half killed him.

Pulling her to him, Gibbs cupped her face and bent his head to cover her lips, teasing with his tongue, hearing her moan into his mouth. Whether he wanted to go slow, Abby seemed to have other ideas and was busy trying to attack his shirt buttons and belt both at the same time, fumbling in her eagerness.

Before she could distract him further, Gibbs sank to his knees in front of her on the rug and she clutched at his shoulders at the unexpected move. Sliding his hands slowly up and down her leather-clad legs, he kissed his way gently across the exposed skin of her stomach, smiling when he felt the muscles ripple under his mouth as she giggled when he hit a ticklish spot.

Abby looked down at him kneeling before her, his silver hair shining in the firelight, unable to resist running her fingers gently through it. _Oh God,_ not even her very lively imagination had come up with this fantasy image before but she was sure as hell going to store it away.

She felt his hands slowly slide up to grip her hips and he suddenly nuzzled his face against the leather, making her knees tremble as she felt the jolt to her core.

He could smell her… the scent of her arousal a heady combination with the leather, making him hard and aching. Unzipping the pants, Gibbs grasped the waistband of the leather and tugged… and nothing moved.

Her throaty giggle rolled into his ears. "They're a bit tight, Jethro."

He grinned up at her, hands sliding round to cup her ass. "Well, yeah, I been kinda noticing that all evening. How d'ya get them on… with a shoehorn?"

"Carefully, and with a lot of tugging, and breathing in." Abby scraped her nails through the short hairs on the back of his neck, seeing his eyes close briefly at the sensation.

His voice was husky and lower than usual with his arousal. "Get down here."

Gibbs pulled her into another heated kiss as she knelt in front of him on the rug. He slid his hands down the back of her open but still snug-fitting pants, squeezing her ass and pulling her against him, letting Abby feel what she was doing to him.

Needing to see more skin, Gibbs tugged her top off, swallowing hard as he saw the black lacy bra. Snapping it undone, he cupped her breasts, thumbs working her nipples as he buried his face in her neck. He nipped and suckled on her skin, wanting to mark her as his.

Abby in turn soon divested him of his shirt and scraped her nails across his chest, hearing his low moan as she flicked his nipples.

Encouraging her to lie down, Gibbs returned his attention to the leather pants. Grasping both sides by her hips, he tugged and this time the pants started sliding down. Abby lifted her hips, wriggling a little to help but he wanted to unwrap her slowly.

As he pulled the leather down over the long line of her shapely legs, he paused after every few inches of bare flesh were exposed. He kissed, licked and stroked his way over every inch of soft creamy skin as it was slowly revealed.

He took his time, listening to her gasps and sighs as Abby alternated between grasping his head and fisting handfuls of the rug. As soon as the pants were pulled level with her knees, Gibbs could also reach the back of her legs. He lavished equal attention on the warm skin there, enjoying the taste, in between running his hands over the soft buttery leather still covering her lower legs.

By the time he'd slowly peeled the leather pants off as far as her feet, Abby was squirming and whimpering on the rug, trying to buck her hips up towards him, desperate for him to touch the one bit he was ignoring so far. She couldn't remember being turned on quite so much by someone paying attention to _just_ her legs.

_Okay, better add __legs to the list of buttons Gibbs seemed adept at discovering. Or more likely, her whole body was just one big hot spot once he touched her._

If he didn't hurry up, she was going to come just from this alone.

When the pants were eventually freed from her feet with one last tug, she reached for him. He gave her a feral grin but wouldn't be rushed. He moved slowly, kissing his way back up her body, removing her lacy thong on the way but still avoiding where she really, _really _needed him.

When she could reach him, Abby was almost frantic as she undid his zipper, hand brushing against his hardness. She pushed his pants and boxers down his thighs, her feet taking them the rest of the way, and giggled as she heard him groan at the relief of being released from his own now too tight pants.

Pulling him down into a heated kiss, Abby wound her arms round him, arching up, desperate for any friction against his skin. She felt the tug deep inside her as her body contracted already and he wasn't even inside her yet.

Gibbs lowered his mouth to her breasts, suckling and licking his way from one to the other, biting down gently. Moving to his side, he lowered his head to kiss her deeply, distracting her as his hand slid down her body to tease slowly over her soaked folds, feeling her hips buck up in surprise at the sudden contact.

_Two could tease… especially now she could reach him._

Abby wrapped her hand around his hard length and he faltered in his rhythm as she started working him. Stroking him maddeningly slowly, she heard him groan into her neck and his hips began thrusting steadily into her hand.

When he was in danger of losing it, Gibbs moved over her and away from her talented fingers. He paused, poised on all fours above her as he took in the breathtaking sight of Abby spread out on the rug below him, the warm glow of the firelight playing over her naked body and raven hair… one more fantasy fulfilled.

Looking at him hovering over her, Abby felt her breath catch. She adored this man and right now, he looked beyond hot… the firelight playing over his muscles and the hard lines of his back, the low light making his eyes appear darker and fire reflecting off his silver hair.

Wanting… no, _needing_ to be inside her, Gibbs settled himself between her legs, sinking slowly and steadily into her wet heat until he was balls deep, savoring the incredible feeling. Feeling her legs wrap around him, Gibbs began a tantalizingly unhurried pace, rolling his hips slowly, wanting to draw this out as long as he could.

When he sensed Abby was getting close and felt her beginning to tremble around him, he slowed down, loving the sounds of her whimpering and pleading as she urged him to go faster.

The first time he eased off so he was barely thrusting, his tip just inside her, sliding across her folds, pulling back every time she tried to arch her hips to pull him deeper. She glared up at him as he chuckled, until his deep kisses distracted her as he began to pick up the pace again.

The second time he slowed the pace, still thrusting gently as he braced himself on his arms, grinning down at her, Abby virtually growled at him. She pulled him down, using her teeth on his neck until in turn she coaxed a growl out of him as her internal muscles squeezed, reminding him to get the hell moving again.

The third time, Abby was almost frantic. She could feel herself teetering on the edge but he still kept us this tortuously teasing pace, and he was doing it on purpose… the bastard. Payback was going to be such fun.

She grabbed for his face from where it was buried in her neck and dragged his head level with hers. "Just remember that I can kill you without leaving any forensic evidence. So move it, Marine."

"Yes, ma'am," he grinned, unrepentant.

Hooking his arms behind her knees, he spread her wider beneath him and began plunging deep inside her heat, responding to Abby's hoarse cries of _harder… faster_ as she urged him on. Soon Abby could only cling to him, overwhelmed by sensation, as the power of his thrusts reminded her of his strength. They surged together and she felt her release approaching fast.

He'd held her on the edge for too long. She just couldn't hold back now.

He was conscious of her nails digging into his back and felt his own control slipping, his fingers digging into her hips hard enough to bruise as he slammed into her.

Feeling her muscles tensing, her world blanked out as she came… harder than she could ever remember before. Her orgasm was so intense, she clamped down around him and it was only the force of his thrusts that allowed him to keep moving through it. He felt his own release ripping through him fast as her inner muscles rippled over him.

When Gibbs came to, he was slumped on top of Abby, head resting on her chest. Her arms were around him, stroking his damp back, and she was practically purring. Gibbs raised his head and they shared satisfied grins and soft kisses. It took him several attempts to move but he eventually slid out of her and shifted his weight off her before gathering her close, still breathing heavily, both twitching with aftershocks.

"That was just…" For once, unusually, Abby was lost for words. She knew she was responsive to him but he'd nearly blown her head off this time, and this was only their third night together. She'd be a pile of goo on the floor if he kept this up.

"Uh-huh." He pressed a kiss to her head, chuckling at her struggle for words, and tightened his arms around her.

She snuggled into his embrace, wrapping herself around him, and tucked her head into his neck, breathing in his familiar scent with a sigh.

Abby felt all warm, drifting on a post-orgasmic high, and slightly fuzzy with a nice buzz from the bourbon and wine combining with heat from the fire and the hard body cradling her. She couldn't remember feeling quite so relaxed and contented. She felt safe, cherished, loved.

He nuzzled her hair and tilted her face up to kiss her. Languidly, he explored her mouth with the slow, deep drugging kisses that he was so good at. It was as if he was relishing her. She found her senses spinning, till all she was aware of was the seductive feel and taste of him.

Nuzzling together, sensuously rubbing cheeks, noses, lips and trading slow kisses, they lay wrapped up together, limbs entwined. One open-mouthed kiss merged into another and they spent long minutes just tasting and exploring one another.

Gibbs was reluctant to move, but the fire was nevertheless beginning to fade and their skin would soon chill as the sweat dried from their exertions.

"You want me to get blankets and pillows and build the fire back up, Abbs, or d'ya wanna go to bed?" he offered, burying his nose into her hair.

Abby raised her head to rest her chin on his chest, giving him a slow sultry smile that managed to make even his sated cock twitch. "Bed."

She was going to be the death of him.

TBC

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><p>AN: Happy now, smut hounds? *snort* Can I get back to the story now? *grin*


	30. Chapter 30: Almost Normal

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: Thanks so much for all the comments and messages about the last chapter… it was fun to write!

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><p><strong>Chapter <strong>**30 – Almost normal **

Gibbs paused in the doorway of his bedroom, carrying two mugs of coffee, smiling at the sight on the bed. Abby had moved since he'd slid carefully out of bed this morning trying not to wake her. She was now sprawled on her stomach, half on his side of the bed, arms round his pillow, still fast asleep. The comforter had slipped partially down her back and her cross tat was on display, drawing his gaze.

He put the coffee on the bedside table and leaned carefully over her, debating whether to wake her but needing to leave soon for the Navy Yard if he was going to beat the traffic. He heard Abby murmur in her sleep and cuddle his pillow more closely, burying her face in it.

Letting his eyes roam over the cross etched so delicately into her back, his fingers itched to trace it… again. He'd often thought the spider web on her neck would be his favorite but this work of art, hidden from him for so long, was rapidly overtaking it.

He could almost trace it blind even after only a few days… but perhaps needed a bit more practice.

Leaning down, Gibbs pressed a kiss to the base of the cross and proceeded to run his lips gently up her spine. He'd barely made it halfway before he heard a low moan and smiled against her skin as Abby stirred beneath him.

Gibbs continued to kiss his way up across her shoulders until he could see her face. She cracked an eye open and looked at him blearily.

"What ya doing up?" she mumbled.

He grinned. "One of us has gotta go to work, Abbs."

"How d'ya get up without me realizing it? Thought I was cuddling you." She shifted slightly to look down. "Oh… it's your pillow. Thought you were softer than normal," she giggled before settling back down, wrapping her arms round the pillow. "You're even sneaky when you get up. Didn't even hear you shower and get dressed."

"Didn't wanna wake ya, Abbs, you were fast asleep. Thought you needed your rest." He pressed a warm kiss to her bare shoulder.

"And whose fault is that, hmm?" yawned Abby. "You wore me out."

"Hey, who wore who out? I'm the old man here," Gibbs pointed out, chuckling, resting his hands on her waist. They were both used to going without much sleep, but usually for less pleasant reasons. During the last few nights neither of them had gotten much sleep… plenty of exercise but not much sleep.

Abby rolled over and wound her arms round his neck, pulling him down, "Well, I didn't notice you flagging, Jethro."

"Can't keep my hands off ya," he confessed, burying his head in her neck, nuzzling the soft skin.

_Oh God, she was all warm and sleepy and so tempting._

He wanted to crawl back into bed and lose himself in her warmth again.

Last night had been intense, playful and incredibly erotic. A passionate hour on the rug in front of the fire had given him ample opportunity to show his appreciation for those leather pants and the woman inside them. The sex had continued upstairs in his bed and they'd eventually fallen into a sated sleep in the early hours.

And, more importantly, there'd been no nightmares for Abby.

Reluctantly pulling back from her warm body, Gibbs kissed her softly and sat up reaching for their coffee. Abby sighed and sat up, tucking the comforter round her and took her mug with a grateful smile. They sat sipping their morning caffeine fix in comfortable silence.

"You had breakfast?" Abby asked, resting her head on his shoulder after she'd finished her coffee.

"Uh-huh. Almost forgot, Abbs. Meant to give you this yesterday." Gibbs reached into his pocket and dropped a key into her hand, his spare house key. He'd locked his front door more in the past few days than he had in months, figuring that Abby would feel safer if the door was locked at night. And he wanted to give her a key to his house anyway… wanted her to feel at home in it.

Abby's eyes widened as she looked at the key, unsure if she was reading more into this than he meant by it. "Are you sure?"

He shrugged, feeling pleased with himself at the spark of excitement he could read in her eyes. "Figured it made sense, especially this week if we're out at different times. And thought you might like a key… anyway."

He suspected he'd done okay when she flung her arms round his neck and hugged him tightly, burying her face in his neck. "Thank you. Don't know what to say."

"That's not like you," he teased, and she swatted him lightly on the shoulder, laughing. "I'd better get going. I'll call ya if we catch a case and I'll be late."

"Yes, dear," Abby replied, teasingly, causing him to snort with amusement before tickling her back down to the bed.

Shrieking with laughter, she struggled and tried to retaliate. Gibbs ended up pinning her arms to the bed, holding her still with most of his body weight… which was probably not a good idea for his self control when she gave him a mischievous smile and arched up against him.

Looking down at her flushed, laughing face and sparkling green eyes, he wanted nothing more than to kiss her into the mattress. Contenting himself with a quick but hard kiss, Gibbs pulled back before she tempted him further and, despite the adorable pout she threw his way, he was able just about to leave.

* * *

><p>In the bullpen, Tony kept a covert eye on his boss throughout the morning. However much they all moaned and bantered about how hard Gibbs was on them, the place didn't seem the same without him… even on those days when he was in a foul mood, which he certainly wasn't today.<p>

His face was more relaxed than Tony could remember seeing in months and he could have sworn he caught the odd half smile or two, which the Marine tried to hide by looking down at his paperwork. But then if what Tony suspected had happened had _actually_ happened, then Abby Scuito in your bed would put a smile on any man's face.

He'd need to see Abby to see if she was as happy as his boss looked, but judging by how strong Abby's feelings were for Gibbs, then Tony had no doubt that this would be exactly what she needed to get over what had happened to her.

Gibbs felt good about being back at work, despite missing Abby's presence at his side. NCIS wasn't the same without her, although they both knew it wouldn't be a typical pattern for either of them to live in each other's pockets in a regular working week. So it was good to get back into some sort of routine again… whatever would pass for normal for both of them now they were together.

They still had to figure that one out and they hadn't really talked about it yet.

Gibbs recognized that this incredible heat between them was probably a feature of the newness of their physical relationship. Once the… honeymoon… period was over, the intense need probably would lessen, although he found that hard to believe at the moment when every time he touched her, he felt a surge of arousal strong enough to knock him on his ass.

The day passed working on cold cases and nothing new crossed his desk, and Gibbs kept his amusement mostly hidden as the usual banter flew back and forth across the bullpen.

He caught Tim's regular glances his way. His young agent's nervousness was back in full force. He was presumably trying to deal with what he assumed had happened between Gibbs and Abby, but without asking his boss a direct question. She hadn't said in so many words but Gibbs knew that Abby wanted to talk to Tim. Gibbs understood that she felt she owed Tim that much.

Ziva had presumably filled them in on how Abby was after her phone call yesterday so he was grateful when none of his team questioned him too closely about her. DiNozzo limited himself to a few oblique comments, using when he was out of head-slapping reach.

And then during a briefing on a cold case while McGee and Ziva were fetching lunch for everyone, Tony surprised him… and made him proud.

Instead of turning back to his desk, Tony paused, a determined expression on his face. "I just wanted to say how happy I am for you both, boss. I never saw Abbs happy before. I mean, not really happy. And I've been waiting to see that expression on her face for years, coz she deserves to be happy, you know, and I'd never seen it… not all through Marty, not through… " Tony glanced over at McGee's empty desk. "Anyway, I finally saw it on Friday night standing next to you. But I gotta tell you, boss, if you hurt her… I'll kick your ass, even if I have to get Ziva to help me."

Gibbs maintained eye contact with his Senior Agent before standing and reaching out to shake his hand, warmly. "Wouldn't expect anything less, Tony."

* * *

><p>Curled up on the couch later in the day, Abby put the finishing touches to the draft of the paper she'd been working on. She'd spent one of the laziest days she could remember for a long time, a complete contrast to her usual crowded working day.<p>

After Gibbs left this morning, she'd drifted off to sleep again. She'd only been half joking when she'd told him that he'd worn her out. Neither of them had got much sleep the past few days and for the best of reasons, she thought with a grin.

What she would not be telling him when he got home was that her morning nap had been interrupted by a nightmare. It seems they didn't only attack her at night. Whether her body was subconsciously aware that she was now on her own in the house or, more importantly, that Gibbs wasn't there, Abby wasn't sure. But it had been really horrible jerking abruptly awake thinking for a few frantic seconds that she was still in that damn chair, unable to move. It had taken a while for her pounding heart to slow down.

When Abby eventually got up, she'd treated herself to a long soak in Gibbs' large bathtub. She was deliciously sore in more than a few places. Images from the weekend flashed across her mind as she relaxed in the tub; Gibbs was demanding and tender in equal measure. The heat and chemistry between them was positively incendiary and something she'd never felt with any other man.

She hadn't actually needed the house key Gibbs had given her. She'd spent the day working on her paper, watching TV and listening to her music via the laptop speakers, as well as opening the cards and presents from everyone at NCIS. Touched by all the small gifts and cards, she'd spent a happy hour chuckling over the messages, even from those she wasn't that close to.

She'd also set up a temporary internet connection on her laptop via her cell phone provider. She'd go cold turkey if she went any longer without checking her emails. She'd _really_ have to work on Gibbs to get both cable and the internet installed…

As the day wore on, Abby lit the fire to add to the cosy scene, smiling as she remembered Gibbs driving her out of her mind on the rug last night. The memory of him poised above her, the firelight making his silver hair glow and the feel of him inside her was enough to get her all hot and bothered again.

She was flicking between news channels when the sound of keys in the front door heralded the arrival of Gibbs coming home, and he soon appeared to lean in the doorway.

"Hey, there. Just finishing off here… Nearly done… and done." A few keystrokes and she put her laptop on the coffee table, before turning to him with a bright smile. She looked more closely. "What are you hiding?"

Gibbs was standing with one hand behind his back, trying to look innocent. A rattle of what sounded suspiciously like ice cubes answered her.

Abby grinned at him, holding her hands out. She knew the sound of a Caf!Pow when she heard one. "I knew there was a reason why I loved you."

"You just want me as a Caf!Pow provider." He made his way to her side and she grabbed the drink from him, sucking hard on the straw.

Hearing his groan, she saw him shake his head in amusement. "What?"

"Any idea what seeing you suck on those straws has done to me all these years?" Gibbs told her.

"_Really_?" she asked, a mischievous glint in her eye.

"Yup." He could only guess how she was going to tease him unmercifully from now on at the Navy Yard.

"Well, you've done the same to me. It _totally_ turns me on every time I see you train in the gym, or carrying a gun, or in interrogation, or head slapping Tony or McGee," she confessed, smiling at him.

He quirked an eyebrow at her, amused. "Good to know."

"Uh-oh…" she giggled, seeing his intrigued expression. "I've just condemned those two to serious head injury from now on, haven't I?"

"Only if you're in the same room, Abbs," he shrugged, grinning. "No point if I don't get a result."

He tugged her towards him, hands cupping the back of her head to hold her steady as he kissed her. Sighing into his mouth, Abby pressed close, enjoying the taste of him.

"Wow," she sighed when they broke for air. "I'd say you missed me."

"Then you'd be right." He settled against the back of the couch and she curled into his side.

"I take it that as you're home nice and early, you didn't catch a case," Abby asked.

"Nope," Gibbs shook his head. "Although Ziva is threatening to kill DiNozzo just so we can catch a case and also coz it'll stop him annoying her."

She chuckled, pulling his arm round her shoulders. "And of course Tony is now deliberately teasing her coz he knows it annoys her."

"Yup," he shot her a grin. "I'm gonna put them on extra training this week if a case doesn't break tomorrow. If she kills him in the gym, it'll make less mess than in the bullpen."

"Well, at least if there's no fresh case, you're not missing me too much in the lab, are you?" Abby pointed out.

Gibbs shrugged. "Haven't needed to go down to your lab, Abbs. Place is not the same if you're not there."

"Aaaw, how sweet," she said, smiling brightly. "I'll remind my grouchy boss of that next time he's pressing me for results."

He chuckled before asking her, "Hope your day was more productive than mine."

"Oh, it was. Without a certain silver-haired fox to distract me, I slept some more," Abby teased. "I wasn't kidding, you know, when I said you wore me out. And then I had a leisurely bath."

He groaned at the images that statement conjured up. "Wish I'd been there."

"Me too. We haven't christened the bath yet." Her smile was wicked.

"We've christened the shower," Gibbs pointed out.

"It's not quite the same, Jethro." She leaned in for a quick kiss, smiling against his mouth. "Then I've been working on my paper and made really good progress, and then I've been opening my cards and presents. You should see what everyone got me… I'm really touched."

"Everyone was worried, Abbs." He was planning his own present for later in the week, had been thinking about it all morning.

"I know, it's really sweet." Abby leapt up and headed for the kitchen. "Gonna make a start on dinner, it shouldn't be long."

"You're spoilin' me, Abbs," protested Gibbs. "I can cook too y'know."

"Yeah, I know but it makes sense for me to cook while you're at work. Don't get used to it though," she wagged her finger at him, before starting to pull food out of the fridge.

"Were you always this bossy?" he grinned.

"Yup, now go and get changed," she giggled as he snapped off a smart salute and ran upstairs.

Changing into jeans and a sweatshirt quickly, Gibbs rejoined Abby in the kitchen and insisted he help. They chatted easily together as they ate and then moved back to the lounge, Gibbs banking up the fire while Abby made coffee. Sitting beside her on the couch, Gibbs released her pigtails and threaded his fingers gently through her hair, massaging her scalp, seeing her eyes flutter closed and a smile curve her lips.

He pressed a soft kiss to her lips and felt his heart lift as she opened her eyes, love and desire shining clearly in their green depths.

Gibbs pulled Abby down onto the couch so he could spoon behind her, wrapping himself around her body and burying his nose in her hair, breathing in the scent of her shampoo. Gibbs told her about Tony's 'pep' talk and she smiled. "He gets as protective as you do. We're his family, Jethro, all of us are, more so than his own father."

"I know," acknowledged Gibbs.

"How was Timmy?" Abby drew circles over his hands where they were clasped across her stomach.

He nuzzled the back of her hair before replying, "Didn't say anything direct but he looked as if he was pluckin' up courage to."

"I need to tell him, Jethro, it's not fair to keep him guessing," Abby told him, seriously. She felt bad as she knew that, however she broke the news to Tim, he was bound to take it hard. She at least owed it to him to tell him properly.

"He still has feelings for ya." It was more of a statement than a question. He'd seen McGee's face as he watched Abby on the screen in the plane, when she was held by the Phantom and tied to the chair.

"I know," sighed Abby, softly, turning round to face him. "I'd been ignoring it for months, hoping it would somehow go away, that he'd somehow realize that I didn't feel the same way. Even before this…" she gestured between them, "us… happened, I didn't want to try and rekindle what I had with him. So… it's only fair I tell him."

He smoothed her hair back from her forehead, pressing a gentle kiss to her mouth. "Yeah, if he hasn't already guessed. Everyone else seems to have."

"I'll ring him tomorrow, take him out to lunch if he's got time and you haven't caught a case by then," she suggested, snuggling into his arms.

"Good idea," he agreed. They lay comfortably together for a while before he broke the silence. "Wanna go out to dinner tomorrow night?"

She raised her head to look at him, before teasing. "You askin' me out on a date, Special Agent Gibbs?"

"Well, yeah," he smiled, shrugging somewhat sheepishly. ""Thought you might wanna get out of these four walls."

"Oh Jethro, I love your home."

It was on the tip of his tongue to say it was her home too, but stopped himself, unsure how she would take it.

"Ordinarily, I would love to… " continued Abby, "You ever known me to refuse dinner?"

He shook his head, chuckling, "Nope."

"But you know what I'd really like?" Abby told him, softly. "I'd just like to spend time here with you, just the two of us, no company, no… doing anything special… just here. I just don't wanna go out yet. I'm just feeling a bit selfish and want you to myself for a while longer. Is that okay?"

"Sure is, Abbs." He wasn't about to say no to having his girl to himself for a while. It was just unusual for Abby not to want to go out.

"Besides," she went on, smiling. "I'm exhausted. Neither of us have had much sleep, in case you hadn't noticed."

"Oh, I noticed." He pulled her back towards him and they snuggled down together in the quiet of the room, watching the fire and spent a lazy evening.

They alternated between dozing, making out… exchanging slow, languid kisses, drinking bourbon and watching TV, although Gibbs paid more attention to the woman in his arms than the movie she'd chosen.

Eventually, Gibbs shook Abby gently awake from where she'd fallen asleep before the end of the movie, resting her head on his chest. Both their backs would protest if they tried to sleep the whole night on his lumpy couch. She murmured a protest and tried to snuggle closer and he chuckled, "Hey, sleepyhead. Time for bed."

_TBC_

* * *

><p>AN: I know I keep saying this but just a few more chapters… honest!


	31. Chapter 31: Letting Go

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: I'm trying not to be too rough on Tim…

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 31 – Letting Go<strong>

In a café round the corner from the Navy Yard, Abby waited for McGee to join her for lunch. She'd arranged to meet him here deliberately. She didn't want to walk into NCIS and make it obvious to everyone what was happening, that she was taking Tim to a 'Dear John' lunch to let him down gently. It wouldn't be fair.

While she waited, Abby couldn't help a smile breaking out as she thought back to her delicious wake-up call this morning. Drifting back to consciousness, snuggled into the warmth of Gibbs' bed, she quickly became aware of a warm mouth nuzzling her breasts. He'd proceeded to kiss his way unhurriedly down her body to bury his head between her legs, bringing her slowly to orgasm with his talented fingers and tongue, leaving her trembling and shaking. The things he could do with that tongue were probably illegal in some states.

Then they'd progressed to the shower where she'd reciprocated, and when Gibbs finally left for work, all she felt like doing was crawling back into bed to go back to sleep. She didn't know where Gibbs found his stamina from but hoped he wasn't trying to prove himself to her, coz there was no need. This morning had followed another night where he'd made love to her with such breathtaking tenderness, it had brought tears to her eyes.

And it was a night without nightmares… and also without a lot of sleep.

She couldn't seem to shake the feeling of tiredness that hovered round her all the time at the moment, and it was both frustrating and puzzling. She was used to pulling all-nighters at the lab and could usually bounce back without any trouble.

So was it the residual effects of the drugs the Phantom used, or a reaction to her ordeal that was causing it? Or Caf!Pow withdrawal maybe? She certainly hadn't had as many in the past week as she usually did. That, combined with a certain silver-haired Marine not letting her get much sleep, she thought with a giggle, it was no wonder that she felt drained.

Her good mood faded somewhat as she thought about Tim. She felt nervous and on edge.

Not that she thought Timmy would give her a hard time but she hated to hurt him… and she felt sure that she would. She'd rehearsed what she wanted to say to him in the car so many times on the way in, but nothing felt right.

She waited at a table by the window, twisting a napkin nervously in her hands, sipping her Caf!Pow. She didn't hear him approach but suddenly heard his hesitant voice, "Hey, Abbs."

Abby looked up to see him standing there with a tentative smile on his face. She leapt up and pulled him into a hug, feeling him grasp her tightly in return. Tim looked as nervous as she felt.

They chatted awkwardly while they looked over menus. Once the waitress had taken their orders, McGee looked at her closely. "How ya feeling, Abby?"

"Better, Timmy," Abby nodded, emphatically. "Much, much better than how I felt before… was it only last Friday? It seems ages ago."

"Will there be any long term problems from the drugs he gave you?" He'd been researching the implications of the drugs the Phantom had used and had questioned Ducky closely. It looked as if Abby hadn't been exposed to them for long enough for them to have too much of an impact, but anything that might affect her health always worried him.

"Don't think so. It took a while but the sickness and muscle soreness had mostly gone by Saturday. Don't worry Tim, I'm fine," she smiled at him, affectionately. He was as much of a fusspot as everyone else.

"I do worry, Abbs. You scared the crap out of me, out of all of us," he swallowed hard, the terror of that night and the sheer helplessness that everyone had felt was still raw. A feeling that was not helped by only see her twice, and both times fairly briefly, since she'd returned… at Gibbs' side.

"I know, I'm really sorry," she saw the pain flash across his face. "I didn't mean to upset everyone."

"It was hardly your fault, Abby," he reached for her hand. Trust Abby to try to take the blame onto herself for something beyond her control. "But I thought I'd lost you… we all did."

"I'm sorry you had to see it, Timmy." Abby squeezed his hand. "Gibbs told me you'd all been on the plane watching it on the screen."

Tim nodded, some of the worst scenes replaying all too vividly in his mind. "It helped we were all together, I think. You know how Gibbs always somehow gives you strength to face most things, however horrible they are?"

Abby smiled fondly, "Yeah, it's what he does best." _Well, perhaps one of the things he does best…_

"Although I was just as worried about him at the time, really. He was frantic about you, Abbs." McGee remembered the strain on his boss's face, however much he'd tried to hide it.

The waitress arrived with their food and they briefly broke off their conversation. "Timmy, I need to talk to you about something…" Abby began, once they'd begun tucking into their food.

McGee interrupted, "I think I can guess what you're gonna say, Abbs."

"About me and Gibbs," she asked, eyeing him warily.

He nodded, ruefully. "Yeah."

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Timmy." She hated how sad he looked but what did she expect? This couldn't be anything else but hurtful for him.

"I know, Abbs," he told her, quietly. "At first I was kinda surprised when I realized but when I thought about it, I figured I should have realized long ago how you felt about Gibbs. I just kept hoping I guess… that I'd get a second chance with you and not screw it up this time."

"You didn't screw it up, Tim." Abby tried to reassure him. "We do better as friends, you know we do. I hope you'll see that eventually."

"Deep down I knew we were over long ago, Abbs. It was just me that could never accept it, not you," he said, sadly. "It's my fault really."

Abby shook her head, adamant. "It's nobody's fault, Timmy. It's just the way things work out sometimes."

"Besides, I know I could never compete with Gibbs," he gave her a gentle smile, trying to lighten the mood. "He makes the rest of us look like rank amateurs in just about everything."

She laughed softly, "It's not a competition, Tim, and there's the right girl out there for you somewhere, you just gotta find her."

He refrained from saying that he thought he had found her. It would only make Abby feel worse and it really wasn't her fault that she didn't love him like she loved Gibbs. "One day, maybe."

"I know one day, definitely," declared Abby firmly. "Think positive thoughts, Timmy."

"It's just… "Tim hesitated before continuing, squaring his shoulders. "I gotta say this as your friend, Abbs. Are you sure? I mean, you know how I look up to the boss, but the guy's been divorced three times, and he's not exactly easy to live with sometimes at work. I can't imagine he's any different at home… presumably that's the reason for the three divorces."

"You don't think I don't know that? And besides, it takes two people to make a divorce, as it does to make a marriage. Not all of them might have been his fault," protested Abby, vigorously.

Tim held up his hands, "Okay, I get the point." There was nothing more guaranteed to bring out Abby's own protective streak than any hint of criticism about Gibbs.

"Look," she sighed. "I know it's not gonna be easy, or roses round the door and a white picket fence… not that I want any of that anyway.."

Tim gave her a rueful smile. "Yeah, I remember." It was partly what had ended their relationship, that he'd wanted a commitment, something more… traditional in their relationship and Abby didn't.

Abby went on, firmly, "We've been friends for ten years, Tim. I know him… okay, I don't know him completely at home yet, and yeah, the Gibbs outside of work is different but it's a good difference. He's more… relaxed. But he must be wary of what I'll be like too outside of work, even though we've spent lots of time together over the years. So you see, he's in the same boat as I am… no pun intended… not that there's a boat in the basement at the moment." Abby shook herself as she drifted off track. "Anyway, you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I know. I don't mean to run him down, you know that." The Marine had become one of the major role models in McGee's life in the nearly six years he'd known him. There wasn't a man he respected more.

"Yeah, I know it's just coz you care about me… about both of us," acknowledged Abby. "We'll work it out. You can't_ not_ try something just because it might not work. I've had that. Been there, done that… been doing that for years, Timmy, wanting him and not thinking I could have him… Sorry," she trailed off, lamely, recognizing that Tim probably didn't want to hear how long she'd been in love with Gibbs.

"It's okay," McGee was reassuring. "I just don't want you to get hurt, that's all."

"I know you've all got my six. I imagine Gibbs will get the fatherly talk from Ducky and Jackson at some point… " Abby paused, "That's if Jackson approves of me, and the son-ly, if that's a word, talk from Tony... if he hasn't already, and we all know what Ziva can do with pieces of office stationery."

McGee smiled. "Yeah, no one wants to piss off Ziva."

"And I know everyone cares about Gibbs too, and you'll all be hoping that I'm not gonna hurt him either. I'm not easy to live with… or have you forgotten?" Abby pointed out.

"No, I haven't forgotten." He studied her seriously, before saying softly, "You were worth it though."

There was silence for a few moments before Abby replied, hesitantly, "I'm sorry I wasn't… that we weren't…"

"I know. Stop apologizing," Tim reminded her, smiling gently.

Abby chuckled as she rolled her eyes, "It's a sign of weakness, yeah, I know."

"I'll try and be happy for you, you know I will, Abby," he promised, after a few moments.

"Thanks, Timmy." She leaned over to kiss his cheek, feeling sad and relieved at the same time.

After lunch, Abby set off back… home, she caught herself again at her automatic use of the word to describe Gibbs' house.

_Jumping the gun there, Scuito._

She felt better for telling Tim face to face, but had a feeling the guilt would take a while to subside.

Returning to NCIS, McGee saw Gibbs was at his desk, alone in the bullpen. The older man watched as his junior agent approached, seeing the hurt resignation overlaid with determination on McGee's face.

McGee came to a halt in front of Gibbs' desk. "Boss, I er… I just wanted to say congratulations."

"Thanks, Tim," Gibbs stood up to shake his hand, looking at the young man with approval. It couldn't be easy letting a woman like Abby go. Gibbs doubted he'd be so magnanimous if the roles were reversed.

"Just… look after her, boss," Tim told him, seriously.

Gibbs nodded, equally solemn, "I will."

"She deserves to be looked after and I…" McGee held his gaze. "I know now that I could never have made her happy. And she deserves happiness… you both do."

"Thanks." As McGee turned back to his desk, Gibbs told him. "There's one difference, Tim. Abby's not a replacement."

_TBC_

* * *

><p>AN: Not sure I've captured Tim's voice there. I find him difficult to write.


	32. Chapter 32: Comparisons

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: More fluff… mostly!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 32 – Comparisons<strong>

When Gibbs returned home later in the day, he found Abby sitting on the couch with photos spread out on the coffee table. Waving him over for a kiss hello, she gestured to the scattered prints, grinning. "Look what Toby dropped off."

Sitting next to her and flicking through the images, Gibbs recognized shots from Saturday morning in the snow when Tobias and Emily had paid a visit.

"Aren't they great?" said Abby, enthusiastically. "I didn't realize Toby took so many shots. Guess I was too busy being distracted by someone," she threw him a cheeky smile, "or throwing snowballs."

"Some nice ones of Emily." Emily's infectious smile shone out from many of the photos.

"Totally," she agreed. She peered over his shoulder at the ones he was leafing through. "She's beginning to look suddenly grown up… these ones are _so_ cool."

"These ones of Tobias and Emily too," he handed her one of the pair laughing as they threw snowballs. He knew Tobias took every opportunity to take photos when he was with his daughter, wanting to capture as much of her childhood as he could.

"Yeah, he got me to take those," Abby told him, "and then he took the ones of you and Emily… look."

Gibbs wasn't sure he had any photos of himself and Fornell's daughter, and there were some nice shots of them building the snowman. "Are these copies for us?" he asked.

"He left two sets of prints so yeah, these are ours. I'm gonna put some of these up on the walls in my apartment. I especially like this one." She handed him a photo.

It was a shot of him and Abby just after he'd tackled her to the snow covered ground and was helping her up. The happiness on her glowing face as she looked up at him was obvious, as was the smile and unguarded expression on his. If anyone saw them like this, it was no wonder they were guessing he and Abby were a couple… it would be blindingly obvious.

"You take a good photo, Abbs."

"You think so?" she asked, shaking her head.

"Yeah, you're beautiful." He smiled at her, seeing her blush. It always amazed him how modest she was about her looks, how she never thought she was attractive when to him she was breathtaking.

"And you don't?" she countered, mischievously, "I'm swooning just looking at these."

Gibbs snorted at her teasing. Continuing to look through the rest, his hand stilled as he came across a photo of Emily and Abby. She caught onto his sudden stillness and watched his face go blank, a sure sign usually that he was in the grip of some powerful emotion.

Abby looked more closely at the photo that had given him pause, the one Toby had taken early on when she and Emily were sitting on Gibbs' front steps, Emily perched below her as Abby curled her arms around Toby's daughter. They were both laughing, smiling into the camera. It was a terrific photo and one she would treasure.

She watched as Gibbs moved his fingers slowly over the photo, tracing the outline of her face and Emily's, and saw him swallow hard. He looked so moved he seemed unable to speak.

"What's wrong, Jethro?" she asked him, gently, concerned at his sudden change of mood.

He seemed to shake himself from his trance and glanced at her. "It's nothing, it's…" he paused, holding her gaze before he seemed to make a decision, nodding to himself. "Hold on, I just want to show you something, Abbs."

He disappeared into the basement and Abby stayed where she was, left wondering what had unsettled him. When he returned, Gibbs placed a photo on the table, next to the one of her and Emily.

She felt her heart rate increase when she saw what it was.

A photo of Shannon and Kelly sitting in almost the same pose as she and Emily, albeit in summer clothes.

It was one Abby hadn't seen before, but then she'd hadn't seen that many photos of his first wife and daughter. She knew how painful it was for him to talk about them, but over the years he had shown her a few photos. And she'd been touched whenever he did so; it illustrated how much he trusted her to share something so personal and so painful.

"It's my favorite photo," he explained, softly, fingers moving from one photo to the other, gently touching the faces.

Abby could see the resemblance in the pose, if not the features, although Emily did have the same cheeky smile and her facial features were fairly similar to Kelly's.

She suddenly felt the need to apologize for the painful reminder, even if it was accidental. "I'm sorry, Jethro. I didn't realize."

"Hey," he turned to her, concerned. He cupped her face and kissed her softly, trying to reassure her. She had nothing to apologize for… quite the opposite. "No need, Abbs. It's just… similar is all." His sad smile tugged at her heart as he gestured at the photos. "This photo of you and Emily suddenly reminded me of this one, but in a good way. It was a happy day."

"Where was it taken?" she asked, curious, wondering how much he felt like sharing, but not wanting to push him.

"On Kelly's favorite beach. Used to go there camping." His voice was thick with emotion and she slid her arm gently round his back, unsure if he wanted her comfort but relieved when he didn't tense or push her away. Whenever Gibbs talked about them, Abby always felt as if she was walking on eggshells.

Thinking back to Saturday morning, Abby was reminded of the moment when she'd staggered under Emily's weight and passed the girl to Gibbs. She remembered his reaction at the time, he'd suddenly seemed overwhelmed.

At the time, she'd guessed it might be because of a memory of Kelly, but events that afternoon had driven that moment out of her mind, until now. "I'm sorry if that morning with Emily was a painful reminder, Jethro."

"It wasn't painful, Abbs," he shook his head, trying to reassure her.

"When we were standing on the path and I handed her to you, you looked a bit… taken aback," she said, softly.

"It was a good memory… just a bit sudden." She deserved to know that not all his memories of Shannon and Kelly any more were sad ones. That sometimes the happy ones made it through the dark grief. But even the good memories still had such an emotional impact on him that it was sometimes overwhelming.

"Then I'm still sorry… I should have realized how difficult it would be." She rubbed his back gently, and was heartened when he smiled softly at her.

"Nothing to be sorry about. It just took me by surprise… the similarity." He looked off into the distance as if conjuring up the memory again. "A snowy morning with Kelly out front."

"Is Emily very like Kelly?" she asked, tentatively.

"Yeah, the same feisty nature, same sense of mischief and curiosity about everything." Gibbs smiled as he remembered.

Watching Emily grow up, he'd often been struck by how much like Kelly she was. When she was younger, the memories would be almost unbearably painful, and that was perhaps why he hadn't spent as much time with Fornell's daughter. That, and the fact that Diane had never made it easy for him to see Emily, even as Tobias' friend… and latterly, _especially _as Tobias' friend.

He looked at the woman beside him, remembering once again that it wasn't just Emily that morning who'd reminded him of someone else. It was both of them. "You even said the same thing Shannon did at the time."

Abby remembered her words, 'take her, Jethro,' as she'd handed Emily over. No wonder he'd looked blind sided. "I didn't realize. I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "No need." Not only were Abby's words on Saturday an uncanny echo of Shannon's, but he'd also been winded by depth of his feelings for Abby at that moment… stunned at how 'right' it had been to have both girls in his arms.

He couldn't remember feeling this way since Shannon… only Jenny had come close. He hadn't felt like this about any of his ex-wives… and knew he was an idiot to think that red hair alone would have provided any kind of substitute for his first wife. No one could replace her, and it was about time he stopped trying, and made more of an effort to make the most of a happiness that was right in front of him.

And now Abby was sitting there, concern shining in her green eyes, worried that in some way she'd hurt him with a memory over which she had no control. It was just typical of her warm caring heart.

She'd never pushed him about Shannon and Kelly in the past, just listened quietly whenever he'd spoken of them, simply offering the silent support he needed. Unlike his ex-wives who'd pushed him to 'move on', jealous of his first wife and daughter's permanent place in his heart. Diane had once leveled at him that it was like living in a house full of ghosts.

And now Abby deserved to know how he felt, deserved his honesty if they were going to make this work. He put an arm around her, gathering her close before telling her quietly, "It wasn't just Emily that reminded me of Shannon and Kelly that morning, Abbs. You did…"

She looked up at him, slightly startled. "I did… _oh._ Did I?" Surely he didn't mean she reminded him of…

"Yeah," he brushed her hair gently off her forehead, stroking her cheek, "you're a lot like Shannon. Same fire, same independence. She wouldn't hesitate to kick my butt if I needed it."

She could hardly swallow past the lump in her throat, feeling her pulse pounding at the intensity in his gaze. "Don't know what to say," she murmured. She reached up to kiss him lightly, sweetly, trying to convey what she felt.

"No need to say anything. Just believe me?" he asked, cupping her cheeks, drinking in her shining eyes and the joy on her face.

Abby nodded, smiling before resting her head against his shoulder and felt him lean his head against hers. "Will you tell me more about them one day."

"Yeah, I'll try." He turned to press a kiss against her hair. He pulled her to sit against the back of the couch and they sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, before he broke it. "How'd it go this morning with Tim?"

"Okay, actually better than I thought it would." She curled into his side, making herself more comfortable. "He's so sweet, so kind and caring and yet I know I was hurting him."

"He's a good man." He reached up to release her pigtails, threading his fingers through her hair as the thick locks tumbled around her shoulders. "Told me to look after you."

"Did he? That's so sweet. I didn't deserve either of you." She relaxed into his touch, snuggling into his side.

"Matter of opinion, Abbs," he said, firmly. It still amazed him what she saw in a cranky old bastard like him.

"Will Tim be alright, do you think?" she asked, uncertainly.

"Yeah, I hope so. Though I'd hate to be in his shoes, to be without you." He'd be in his basement having got through most of a bottle of bourbon by now if he'd had the same 'Dear John' goodbye that Abby had given McGee earlier on.

"I'm nothing special, Jethro," she shook her head, ignoring the skeptical look he threw her way.

"You are, Abbs, that's something else me and Tim would agree on. I'm a lucky bastard, Abbs." He leaned in to kiss her gently before tugging her down to lie along the couch, in what was rapidly becoming a regular evening routine, curled up with Abby in his arms.

She wriggled around to get comfortable, tucking her head into the crook of his neck. "You know, if you wanted to spend the evening in your basement, I wouldn't mind."

"I know." He tightened his arms round her, content to just lie there for now.

That was one of many things he loved about Abby. She didn't seem to mind when he needed his own space and time alone sometimes, unlike his ex-wives. But because she gave him that freedom without comment, he found himself not wanting it so much. And this relationship was still too new for him to want to be away from her too much… especially tonight.

"Not that I'm complaining about you being up here instead of down there, mind you. I love spending the evening cuddled up on the couch with you." She nuzzled into his neck, breathing in his familiar scent.

"I'd rather be with you tonight."

"It's very… domesticated, though if you tell anybody I said that, I'll mess with your coffee," she giggled. "I've got a reputation as a clubbing Goth to protect."

He chuckled. "Your secret's safe with me. So when are you going clubbing again?" He was getting slightly concerned that she hadn't made any moves yet to hook up with her friends, or go clubbing. Not that he minded her undivided attention but it wasn't like her.

He felt her tense slightly. "Soon," she responded, quietly. "I'm in no rush… unless you want rid of me?"

He tilted her chin up so he could see her eyes. "Nope, I'm enjoying having you here."

Abby sighed contentedly, snuggling back down with her head on his chest. "Good, then that's settled. Maybe I could help with the toys again after we eat?"

He nodded. "That'd be good. See if you can get any paint on the wood this time."

"Hey, my painting's neat." She poked him in the ribs and listened to his laugh rumbling below her ear. "You want take-out for dinner? I haven't even thought about it today."

"Yeah, why not? Thai?" he asked.

"Yup, you can order, I'm too comfy." She didn't point out how he could order when she had him virtually pinned to the couch. She giggled as he nearly toppled them to the floor while stretching for his cell phone, and he threw her a mock glare as he ordered their usual.

Lying back down, he pulled her back across his body and got comfortable again. "As I ordered, you can get the door when it arrives."

"And pay presumably? Huh, I knew there'd be a catch." She huffed good naturedly.

After the take-out had been delivered and eaten, they retired to the basement and worked contentedly side by side finishing off more toys for the children's hospital. After a while, Abby suddenly grabbed his wrist to look at his watch. "About now, it'll have been a week."

He might have known the significance of the day hadn't passed her by. It would be a week this evening since she'd been abducted from that car park in LA. "Yeah, I know."

"As if tomorrow isn't gonna be a reminder enough," she frowned, biting her lip.

"You gonna be okay?" It certainly explained how quiet she was tonight. "D'ya want me to wait and drive you in, in the morning?"

She shook her head. "No, Jethro. If I'm going to convince them to let me back to work, I've got to act as normally as possible."

"It's a good theory, Abbs," he pointed out, calmly, "but I imagine they're used to agents putting on a performance so they can get back in the field quickly."

She pointed her paintbrush at him. "And _there's _the difference, or I hope there's the difference. Surely the requirements for letting me back in my lab aren't quite so strict as the hoops an agent has to jump through to get back out in the field? Although what am I asking you for? You, who took all of a day off when he was shot and who's never been to a psych eval yet."

"Doesn't matter what I think," Gibbs told her. "Just coz I know a psychologist won't help me doesn't mean they might not help you."

"You know I'm not convinced," she sighed. She'd hoped he'd be on her side on this.

"Yeah, I know but you've got to go through it," he reminded her, shrugging. "They've been interviewing the team and Ducky already, and they hauled me in today."

She looked at him, surprised. Would he have mentioned it if she hadn't brought up the subject? "To see if you think I've been affected and if you think I should go back?" He nodded. "I hope Ducky said I'm okay to go back to my babies?"

"Ya think he's convinced of that?" he asked.

"Why shouldn't I be okay to go back?" She put down her brush, and stared at him. "I'm not a field agent. What did you say, or am I not allowed to ask that?"

"I said you were recovering, slowly…" He held his hand up when she started to protest. "It's true, Abbs. Ducky's right and you know he is, you're not gonna recover from this quickly."

Her shoulders slumped and she nodded reluctantly. "I know. But I _need_ to go back to work, you know that. _My_ lab is the equivalent of _your_ basement. It heals me."

"Yeah, I know," he acknowledged and he knew she'd do better if she were there, surrounded by the team. And if he were honest, he'd feel better if she were at NCIS so he could keep an eye on her. "If it's any comfort I said you were needed back there, where you belong, and that we'd been lucky this week not to catch a major case, to show up how slow lab results are without you there."

"Thank you," she acknowledged. She wondered what Ducky had said.

He went on, intent on not sugar coating it for her. "But you've gotta be prepared for them insisting on more sessions."

She pulled a face. "If that's what it takes to get me back in there, then I'll do whatever I have to. As much as I love this house and being here with you, I can't cope with any more enforced sick leave, Jethro. What am I supposed to do when I'm not working except brood about it?" she protested. "I'm better off in my lab working, taking my mind off it."

He walked over and pulled her into a warm hug, trying to offer comfort with his presence. "I know that and you know that, Abbs, but it's not me you have to convince."

_TBC_

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><p>AN: The next one will not be quite so fluffy…


	33. Chapter 33: Facing It

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: A big thank you and endless supplies of cookies to AHJ (Amy) who gave me some valuable insights for this chapter… I really appreciate all the help! It was a difficult one to write.

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><p><strong>Chapter 33<strong>** – Facing It**

Abby waited impatiently outside the office of psych services at NCIS, feeling nervous and just wanting to get the next hour over and done with.

She'd woken this morning in the grip of another nightmare, and she'd crawled into Gibbs' arms gratefully when he reached for her, clinging to him as he comforted her. She shouldn't be surprised at her dreams flaring up again, given this morning's appointment was constantly on her mind.

Would the hold the Phantom had on her life never be over?

Gibbs had been reluctant to leave her this morning, but she'd eventually convinced him that she'd be okay and that, anyway, she had to face this on her own, or she'd never convince the shrink that she was okay to come back to work.

She took the point Gibbs made as he left, that if she tried to act normally and just gave her impersonation of 'energizer Abby', they were hardly likely to be fooled. Nor would being overly calm and avoiding the questions get her anywhere. The psychologists were used to seeing straight through the best defenses. The best thing she could do would be to admit at least some of the things that she was struggling to cope with, and to cooperate, in the hope that it would be enough to get her cleared to come back to her lab.

She couldn't stand another week without being able to work, however pleasant the side benefits may be.

She'd been surprised and touched also by a phone call from Callen before she left Gibbs' house. He'd found out when her appointment was and had rung to wish her luck with it. He and his team had sent through a report on the case to psych services as requested.

She'd not had to face a thorough 'Fitness for Duty' type evaluation before. Her past experiences with her assistant, Chip and Mikel Mawr had not been deemed by Director Shephard to be sufficient to trigger one. As she was now reporting directly to Vance, presumably he was going to do things strictly by the book. Plus neither of those experiences could equate to the severity of what had happened with the Phantom.

It wasn't going to be a formality.

When she entered the office, she shook hands with Dr Janice Hunter, trying not to let Ziva's description of the psychologist, 'man hands, pretty eyes,' distract her too much. "Please sit down, Miss Scuito." Dr Hunter gestured to the chair in front of her desk.

"Thank you. Please call me Abby, everyone does."

"As you wish, Abby." Janice Hunter waited until Abby was settled before continuing. "I've read both the LA team's report on what happened to you, and the medical reports forwarded from the hospital in LA and by Dr Mallard... although the last time he examined you was on Friday, is that correct?"

"Yes, that's right." She had to try to curtail her usual tendency to babble, lest she say too much.

"Now, although Dr Mallard isn't officially on the psychiatric staff here, I understand that he's been almost your personal physician for quite a few things over the past few years." Dr Hunter folded her hands in front of her on the desk.

"Yes, that's right," confirmed Abby. "You'll find most of Gibbs' team go to him and I trust his judgement."

Dr Hunter glanced down at her notes. "The last report mentioned muscles soreness and spasms, as well as nausea as a direct result of the drugs the Phantom administered. I hope those symptoms have now improved."

"Yes, they have, very much," nodded Abby. "They diminished over a few days and by the end of the weekend, had gone entirely so I'm fine now."

"Physically fine but, as I'm sure you're aware," Dr Hunter pointed out, "we're here to talk about and assess your mental state as much as anything."

_Well, yeah, she was hardly here for fun._

"Yes, I'm aware of that, so ask away."

The psychologist gave her a brief smile. "As you're no doubt aware, Miss… " She inclined her head as she corrected herself. "Abby, I've been speaking to your co-workers, and I also have here a note from Director Vance, commending you for your work in catching the Phantom."

"I didn't catch him… " Abby corrected, gently. "Technically, he caught me."

"But it was your persistence in the first place that forced the authorities to even acknowledge there was a serial killer, and your forensic work that narrowed the search once you joined the LA team." She was curious about Abby's modesty on the subject.

Abby shrugged. "I'm like a dog with a bone when I'm convinced of something."

Dr Hunter paused, considering. "How did you feel when you found out the Phantom been participating on your blog?"

_Here __comes the tricky stuff. _

"Like I'd missed something that was right under my nose for months."

"I imagine it hasn't been easy being away from your lab for over a week now, Abby."

"No, it hasn't." Abby wondered how long this stating the obvious would go on, and decided to push a little. "All I want to do is get back to work."

"I'm sure we all want that," said Janice Hunter, calmly.

"Then I'm not sure how I can prove that I'm mentally okay to work, other than to actually _be_ in my lab and do my job. Nothing that happened to me will have affected my scientific ability to process evidence or to do my job."

"I'm sure you're right, Abby, but there are protocols to follow and NCIS need to be confident that you can handle your work." Dr Hunter held up her hand to forestall Abby interrupting. "I'm sure you can appreciate that defense attorneys would be able to exploit the fact that NCIS's foremost forensic scientist was allowed back to work without undergoing any psychiatric sessions, and that may allow them to call into question some of the evidence, as unlikely as that may seem now. The last thing we all want is for cases to be tainted in any way."

"And you don't think I want to avoid that too?" Abby felt her annoyance rising and tried to clamp down on her temper.

"The forensic lab is the lynchpin of NCIS. Every case every team works ends up passing through your lab," said Dr Hunter calmly.

"No one is more aware of that responsibility than me. My work is my life, Dr Hunter. _Science_ is my life. My job here and my work mean the world to me and there is nothing I would do to endanger it." Abby took a deep breath as she tried to express something she rarely articulated to anyone else.

"No one is questioning your professional dedication, Abby," responded Dr Hunter.

"But it's more than that… my lab is the way I heal too. It's my therapy when I'm stressed or tired. I relax in my lab, it's where I unwind. Some people work out, some people party, some people write or listen to music."

_And s__ome build boats in basements_, she thought, fondly.

"Yes, the hours you work down there do not go unnoticed," the psychologist smiled.

"Everyone works long hours in this building. I'm no different. That wasn't my point," Abby said with a touch of exasperation. "I find just working in the lab… relaxing, and it's a huge part of my life, not just my day job."

"And how will you feel going back to work in the same lab where you were shot at by a sniper and attacked by your assistant?" asked Dr Hunter.

Abby looked up, startled, eyes narrowing, "I haven't thought about either incident in years. Both Ari Haswari and Charles... Chip were three years ago. Why would either affect me more now?"

"Because of the inevitable parallels to your life being in danger again this time," Dr Hunter pointed out, levelly. "Our memories are fickle things and flashbacks can ambush us when we least expect it and in less than obvious circumstances."

"But I can't _not _do something," Abby shrugged, spreading her arms, "or stop myself going somewhere just because of something that _might_ happen. Are you saying I'm not allowed back to work?" Abby was tired of this dancing around, and wanted to tackle the main issue head on.

Dr Hunter shook her head, "No, that's not what I'm saying."

"Then what? Look, I can't undo what happened three years ago, nor undo what happened last week. Nor can I judge if I'm going to get a flashback while I'm in my lab or not, so I don't know what you want me to say."

_How could she live her life on 'what ifs?'_

"I can only deal with whatever happens as it happens," Abby finished, trying to rein in her increasing impatience, knowing it would hardly help her cause.

"No, you can't undo or forget what happened, Abby, but what we can do is find a way to help you cope with it." Dr Hunter remained supremely unruffled, which only served to increase Abby's exasperation.

"I certainly haven't experienced any flashbacks or anxiety in the past couple of years from things that happened in the past. I thought I was doing just fine," said Abby, firmly but knew it sounded lame even to her own ears.

"And you probably were before now, before this event. But we have to assess how this latest trauma has stirred up the pot, for want of a better phrase, and how that anxiety is going to affect you in the long term." Dr Hunter paused. "Now, Abby, are you having trouble sleeping?"

"Nope, I'm sleeping very well." Abby didn't verbalise the random thought _when I'm allowed to get any sleep_. "I do feel tired though, perhaps more so than normal, which is unusual as I can usually pull all nighters fuelled by nothing more than Caf!Pow and bounce right back." Perhaps it was time to dangle some of what she was feeling? All she'd done so far was say she was fine, and she could see by the psychologist's expression that she wasn't buying it.

"Yes, I've heard," smiled Dr Hunter, briefly. "And how are the nightmares?"

Abby looked at her, curious. "That question's phrased as if you assume I'm having them."

"Dr Mallard mentioned it in his report." Dr Hunter glanced down at her notes once again. "Are you saying you're not experiencing nightmares any more?"

"No... I mean, yes, I am experiencing them. They come and go. This morning I had one, woke up to a nightmare, presumably because I was coming here to talk about it..."

_Okay, Scuito, don't try to make a cheap point._

"Possibly," acknowledged Dr Hunter.

"But then some nights I don't have them at all," continued Abby, not about to reveal that was usually because she was exhausted from hours of sex. "It doesn't seem to follow a pattern... or one that I've been able to work out anyway."

"And their severity?" Dr Hunter went on. "Are they of specific instances that happened, or are some real events merging now with what your imagination is conjuring up?"

Abby was hesitant. "I... it's mostly what happened... for real."

"Mostly?" persisted Dr Hunter.

"Yes, but one time I imagined something that didn't happen," Abby confirmed reluctantly.

"Such as?"

"I dreamt that I was awake during the time he... masturbated over me and that I wasn't unconscious, which of course I was, fortunately." Abby remembered that nightmare all too well... it was one of the worst so far.

"Yes, Dr Mallard mentioned that you had seen the extra footage that was recovered, the part that showed what happened while you were unconscious."

"I needed to know what he'd done to me." Abby had a feeling this would be the trickiest part. She was well aware Ducky hadn't totally approved but had supported her, nonetheless. She doubted that psych services would be as magnanimous.

"Was that wise?" Dr Hunter steepled her fingers on the desk, examining Abby closely.

"Wise or not, I needed to know." Abby was damned if she was going to back down now. It was done anyway. "My imagination was beginning to supply me with images which were far worse than what had actually happened. It was a relief in a way."

"What was your imagination telling you?" asked Dr Hunter, making a few notes.

Abby took a deep breath. She'd been through this and didn't particularly want to re-examine it again. "I imagined he might have raped me, or at the very least undressed me... any number of unpleasant scenarios to explain how his semen came to be on my clothes. To see what actually happened was a relief in some ways."

Dr Hunter continued to search her face closely, and eventually asked. "And are you able to go back to sleep after your nightmares?"

"When they happen in the middle of the night, yes," replied Abby. "If it's morning, I don't bother even trying to get back to sleep and just get up."

"And is anyone there to help when you wake with these nightmares?"

"I'm staying at Agent Gibbs' house at the moment, so he's been very helpful... and supportive." The last thing she wanted was psych services questioning her too closely on her living arrangements. "The heating is out in my apartment building this week so he offered to let me stay at his house when we got back from LA."

"Yes, I understand he went to LA to journey back with you? That's very kind of him to let you stay at his house," added Dr Hunter.

Abby looked at her, sharply, "He'd do the same for any member of his team. We've been friends for years." She didn't want any clue about her change relationship with Gibbs to slip out.

"I'm curious," asked Dr Hunter, thoughtfully. "Would you have stayed with him anyway even if the heat in your apartment building hadn't been out? Would you have recognized that you possibly needed someone to look after you."

"I don't know if I can answer a hypothetical question like that... possibly, he would have offered a place to stay. He's a good friend. And, yes, I would probably have felt the need for some company in the first few days."

Dr Hunter abruptly changed tack. "And have there been any panic attacks?"

"No... yes, just once." Abby shook her head, impatiently. "The first night after I was discharged from hospital. I woke up and felt I couldn't breathe. But that was more related to an actual memory than a panic attack. When he drugged me and I woke up in the warehouse, I thought at first I couldn't breathe."

"Because of the muscle paralysis?" asked Dr Hunter.

"Yes, for a few seconds when I regained consciousness, I panicked, thinking that everything was paralysed, including my respiratory system but it faded when I realized that I could in fact get my breath." Abby felt her throat go dry as she remembered all too vividly that moment of regaining consciousness. She really didn't want to have to keep remembering this... to keep going over it again and again.

"But none since?" persisted Dr Hunter.

Abby shook her head. "No."

"And are you experiencing any anxiety when you go out?"

Abby laughed, softly, "Huh, nothing but a healthy fear of DC traffic... just as normal. Sorry... too flippant."

"That's alright, Abby. I'd be more concerned if you weren't afraid of DC traffic. And there's no need to be anything other than yourself in here." Dr Hunter smiled, suddenly looking more human. "What about crowds, are you afraid of being in a crowd, do they trigger feelings of anxiety?"

"I haven't experienced crowds as I haven't been back to work yet." She was getting tired of these impossible to answer questions, but wasn't sure how successful she was in suppressing her irritation. "I've spent most of the past few days indoors. So I can't answer that question yet."

"Have you attempted to get back into your normal routine yet? Arranged to go out with friends?"

_Oh, for heaven's sake... like she's had time to do that or felt like it? _

"Not yet... My normal routine is working. I've been resting as Ducky... Dr Mallard advised me to do. And as I'm on enforced sick leave... well, I didn't feel as if I should go out clubbing while on sick leave." No doubt if she had been out clubbing, that too would have been wrong. She was getting the feeling that whatever answer she gave, would be the wrong one in some way.

Dr Hunter looked down at her notes. "You used the term enforced sick leave, Abby. Does that mean you wouldn't have taken sick leave, given the choice?"

"I'm a workaholic, Dr Hunter," Abby pointed out. "I would probably have taken a few days off until the physical symptoms from the drugs subsided, but no, no more than that. I heal better when I'm working."

"And you're not avoiding going clubbing because of the similarities?" said Dr Hunter.

"Similarities?" Abby asked, warily.

"Yes," explained Dr Hunter, "parallels to the situation in which you were kidnapped... outside a club in LA, was it not?"

"Yes, it was." Abby paused. "No, I don't think so... at least not consciously. I just haven't felt like going clubbing. Maybe later in the week or next week I will. I haven't thought too much about it yet."

Which wasn't quite true.

She had thought about it and dismissed it... for now. The thought of returning to a club didn't fill her with enthusiasm like it usually did. Perhaps she ought to ask Tony to go with her... one over-protective bodyguard might help get her through the initial hurdle?

"Your co-workers have been very supportive in their statements," Dr Hunter told her.

"We're a family, Dr Hunter. We're all very close," smiled Abby, fondly. "We look after one another."

"Agent David mentioned that she believes she can help."

"She has offered, yes, and I'm very grateful," confirmed Abby. "I'm seeing her this evening. Not that I believe our experiences are even remotely similar."

"Your experiences don't have to be similar in order for Agent David to be of assistance. At this stage, I'd be comforted if you were to talk to anyone. Agent Gibbs has been... " Dr Hunter hesitated, "forthright in his belief that you are needed back at work."

_I'll bet. _Abby could imagine the conversation."He has confidence in my abilities."

"As does Director Vance, but I don't think your abilities are in question here. Agent Gibbs was also realistic enough to acknowledge that more sessions with us may be helpful to you," she smiled gently at Abby. "Let me ask you, what do you want to come out of this?"

"Is that a trick question?"

"No, I'm not trying to trap you, Abby."

"I just want to go back to work" Abby looked down at her hands, thinking of the best way to articulate this. "I'm not blind or naive enough to think that I will be able to put this experience behind me quickly, but I can hardly start to recover if I don't try and reclaim my normal life... get back into a routine again. I live for my work, Dr Hunter, and I believe it's no false modesty to say that NCIS need me in my lab. I'm precious little use outside of it."

Dr Hunter was silent for a few moments, before nodding, "Okay, I'm heartened that you are at least acknowledging what happened to you, Abby, and the impact it is having. However, my main concern is that you seem convinced that coming back to work will almost draw a line under what you have suffered and you need to accept that it won't. It is merely a step along a road to recovery... to putting this ordeal behind you. It will not be like flicking a light switch, that one moment you will be suffering and then the next it will all be behind you."

"I realize that," responded Abby. "I'm not sure how I can convince you that I do understand that, and then express it to you in a way that you'll believe me."

Abby had thought this through on her own and was well aware of the difficulties ahead. She'd had nothing _but_ time to think over the past few days of enforced inactivity. What she hadn't heard so far were any practical suggestions as to how to progress from here on in.

"One of the main things is that you need accept that you suffered an ordeal, and that there is no shame in that. What you went through will have changed you and affected you in many ways, and will continue to do so for some time. You showed remarkable courage and determination, Abby."

"I didn't feel very brave at the time," Abby said, ruefully.

"I saw the video footage, Abby." Dr Hunter's voice was gentle. "Facing down the Phantom while immobile in that chair showed a remarkable bravery and resilience. But you don't need to pretend that it didn't affect you. I suspect that the close team of people you called your family here at NCIS will be only too pleased for you to lean on them in any way you need to. There is no shame in needing or asking for their help."

Abby felt her eyes sting with tears and tried furiously to suppress them. "I know that. They've all been so supportive already... I just don't want to be a burden to them. I'm used to being independent."

"You cannot do this alone, Abby." Dr Hunter was adamant. "And nor will it be a quick process of healing, and you will struggle from time to time and that's okay too. And I will do everything that I can to ensure that psych services will help you as much as they can in that process."

"I'll try." said Abby, quietly.

Dr Hunter nodded. "Okay, I'm going to recommend that you be allowed back to work, but I think you would benefit from at least two further sessions with our psychiatrist and then we can take it from there."

"You mean I have to attend the sessions _before_ I come back?" asked Abby.

"If you were a field agent, then yes, that would be the case. But I think in this situation, you can have the sessions scheduled over the next couple of weeks, so you can attend them after you come back. Director Vance will make the final decision of course, and he'll have my report by the end of the day. I don't imagine he'll keep you waiting long for his decision." Dr Hunter smiled reassuringly. "I know he holds you in high esteem, and he has indicated you would have his full support when you come back."

"Thank you," replied Abby, more relieved than she could express.

"Okay, now unless you have any more questions, I imagine there's lots of other things you'd rather be doing with your day."

"No, no more questions." Abby just wanted to get out of here. She suddenly wasn't feeling too good.

When Abby left the office, she headed straight for the nearest restroom, feeling nauseous. She braced herself against the counter, breathing deeply and waited till the feeling subsided. She splashed water on her face as the buzzing in her ears and light-headedness faded.

Abby wasn't sure why she was having this reaction... the sudden release of tension, she supposed. Whatever it was, she'd have to get a grip on herself before she left. If she bumped into Gibbs, he'd see straight through her in a heartbeat. She gripped the edge of the basin, trying to stop her hands from shaking.

It was where Ziva found her.

"Are you alright, Abby?" Her friend looked pale... paler than usual.

"I think so, I can't seem to stop shaking, Ziva." Abby tried to summon up a smile, but it wasn't a very convincing one.

"I remember my own reaction after the first session. That is why I came to find you." Ziva squeezed Abby's shoulder. When Abby turned towards her, Ziva held out her arms to pull her into a warm hug.

Abby leant gratefully against the smaller woman's deceptively slender strength, thankful beyond words that Ziva was here. Gradually her shaking subsided and she was able to draw back. "I think I'm gonna go home, Ziva."

"Do you want me to get Gibbs?" Ziva asked, gently.

Abby shook her head vehemently, "No, Ziva, not now. I just wanna get out of here."

"That is understandable," Ziva hesitated before continuing, "but will Gibbs not expect you to go and see him before you leave."

"Probably, but I can't... I can't face talking to anyone right now... not even Gibbs." And she had to stop running to him whenever she felt... hinky. She would_ not_ turn into a clinging woman who couldn't cope with anything on her own.

"Alright, if that is what you want, Abby. But you should try and rest this afternoon." Ziva held her friend at arm's length, searching her face. At least some colour had come back into Abby's cheeks.

"I will. Can you tell Gibbs I've gone home, please? I mean, that I've gone to his house. I must stop saying home, coz it isn't... though it is... oh, ignore me, Ziva. I'm babbling... more than normal."

"Yes, I will tell him," promised Ziva. "Are you sure you are able to drive?"

"I'll be fine, Ziva." Abby rummaged in her bag for her car keys.

"I could take you home," offered Ziva, before asking with a teasing glint in her eye, "if you think my driving will not make you feel sick again?"

Abby's smile this time was brief but genuine. "No, it's alright, Ziva, I can drive. And anyway, I'm feeling much better now. I'll see you later for dinner, is that still okay?"

"Of course, Abby. I am looking forward to it." Ziva hooked her arm through Abby's and walked with her out to the elevator. "Come over when you are ready. I will call you if we catch a case."

When Ziva returned to the bullpen, it wasn't long before Gibbs came down from MTAC. "Gibbs," she stopped him as he passed by her desk, coffee in hand. "Abby left after her appointment. She asked me to tell you that she is going to your house."

"Is she okay?" Gibbs asked, blue eyes concerned.

"She said that she was but... " Ziva hesitated before continuing, torn between her concern for her friend and respecting her wishes. "She looked pale and tired, and was a little shaky. She would not let me drive her home... Gibbs." The last was addressed to his back as Gibbs headed rapidly for the elevator.

_TBC_

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><p>AN: So how best can Gibbs and Ziva help her?


	34. Chapter 34: Comfort

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: Just a short chapter.

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><p><strong>Chapter 34 - <strong>**Comfort**

When Gibbs let himself into his house, Abby's backpack was in what he'd come to think of as its usual spot in the hallway, but there was no sign of her anywhere downstairs or in the basement. Why did she leave NCIS without coming to find him? It usually meant she was upset about something and was trying to avoid him.

He made his way upstairs. Abby wasn't in their… his… bedroom but he could hear the shower running in the ensuite bathroom.

Pausing in the doorway, he hesitated. "Abbs?" he called out, softly.

When there was no reply, Gibbs moved closer so he could see her more clearly in the warm steam-filled bathroom. Standing with her back to him, Abby's arms were braced against the wall, the stream of water beating down on her shoulders and upper back as she stood directly under the spray.

When Abby still didn't move or acknowledge his presence, Gibbs rapidly shed his clothes, climbing into the shower behind her, approaching gingerly so as not to startle her. Touching her shoulders gently, he turned her, heart aching when he caught sight of the lost expression on her face.

"Hey, c'mere." He pulled her slowly towards him, wrapping Abby in his arms and cradling her to his chest.

She resisted for a few moments before melting against him, burrowing close and tucking her head into the crook of his neck. He could feel her trembling slightly.

"I can't… I can't seem to get warm, Jethro. I'm so cold."

She didn't feel cold to the touch and the water was hot even by his standards, yet Abby was still shivering.

"I've got ya, Abbs, it's okay." He rested his cheek against her wet hair, trying to reassure her just by his presence.

Gradually, as the warmth from his body combined with that of the hot water, her trembling subsided. But still he stood there, holding her close, trying to will his body not to react to her now familiar, wonderfully soft curves. She slid her arms round his back, holding him tightly and sighed his name into his neck.

They stood there without speaking until the water eventually started to run cool. Turning off the shower, he gathered warm towels and helped Abby out of the shower. Wrapping her up a large towel, he slung one round his shoulders.

They exchanged smiles and soft kisses as they helped each other to dry off, which didn't do much for his self control, but at least she was starting to look more like her normal self again. He was relieved to hear her throaty chuckle as he smothered her head in a towel, drying her hair vigorously, leaving her looking adorably tousled.

But before he could move away, she stepped into his arms again. "Just hold me, please."

He willingly pulled her close again before telling her, gently. "I would have driven you home, Abby."

"I know but it's okay." She nuzzled his neck, breathing in his familiar comforting scent, letting it settle her. "I can't keep coming to you for everything."

"Yeah, you can." He cupped her face in his hands. "You should know that by now, Abbs. I dunno what to do to make you believe it."

Abby searched his eyes, not wanting to hurt him. "I can't keep expecting you to drop everything and play hooky from work, just for me."

"I wanna help." He rested his forehead against hers, wondering what he could do to convince her that he'd do anything she needed. She only had to ask.

"You do help. Everything you do you help me, more than you know." She kissed him lightly. "I just needed to get away this morning and I was okay to drive, really I was. I just hadn't reckoned on reacting like that afterwards… or reacting like this now."

"What happened?" he asked. If he was pushed to name it, he'd have said that her shaking just now seemed more like a symptom of shock. He was concerned that she'd seemed so settled just the day before and had now taken what appeared to be a step back. But then Abby felt everything so deeply; she always had.

"This is why it took me by surprise coz the appointment was okay, really. It was mildly irritating but then I expected that, and it went better than I thought it might, but it was just… " Abby shrugged. "I suddenly felt sick when I came out of her office, and I had to dash to the restroom. I wasn't sick though, don't worry. Then when I got back here, I felt so cold all of a sudden that I started shivering so I… I thought a hot shower would help."

"Probably just a reaction to all the tension, Abbs. You'd been dreading seeing her," he pointed out, running his hands over her back.

"Yeah, I'd psyched myself up maybe too much… pun intended." She gave a brief smile. "Then my body just reacted… almost in relief I guess." She extracted herself from his arms and moved into the bedroom, still toweling her hair. "Still, that's the first appointment out of the way."

"What did they decide?" He followed, grabbing his clothes from the bathroom floor on the way.

"Well, she's gonna recommend to Leon that I can come back to work, as long as I attend more sessions, which is good, that's positive, right? It's just… she went through everything that happened again and while I was expecting it, it just made me remember again." She stood there, shoulders slumped and Gibbs wound his arms round her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder. "I got what I wanted, didn't I, so I don't know why I'm reacting like this."

"Sounds perfectly normal to me." He planted a kiss on her temple.

She twisted slightly to look up at him. "Ziva guessed it might happen. She said the same thing happened to her after her own evaluation… which incidentally she must have coped with on her own. And that makes me feel awful that I didn't know that, that I wasn't there to help, especially as she came to find me afterwards this morning… I was so pleased to see her."

"I'm glad she was there," Gibbs brushed her wet hair back from her face, stroking her cheek.

"I'm just so relieved to be coming back to work on Monday. Not that I haven't loved every minute of being here but you also need me there, right?" she smiled up at him.

"Place isn't the same without ya." He dropped a kiss on her nose. "How many more sessions?"

"Two initially and then they'll review it, but I can come back to work in the meantime and have the sessions over the next couple of weeks." Abby rummaged in his dresser and he smiled as he saw her pull one of his old sweatshirts on, along with a pair of her casual sweatpants. "Not that I think the sessions are going to help much. The last thing I wanna do is keep talking about it."

"It might help, Abbs," he observed as he too redressed.

"Didn't think you had a very high opinion of shrinks." Abby sat on the bed to comb her wet hair, looking at him curiously.

"I'm too set in my ways for it to work with me, but that doesn't mean it might not help you," he replied, sitting beside her.

"Maybe." She didn't sound convinced, looking down at her hands.

He studied her for a moment. "You look tired, Abby. Why don't you get some rest this afternoon," he suggested.

She leaned her head against his shoulder, "Yeah, I might. I'm way too tired."

He put his arm round her. "It's probably the stress of the past week. It's okay to give in to it, ya know." Tempting as it was to crawl into bed with her, she needed the rest more and if he did, neither of them would get any sleep.

"Wow, are you feeling okay?" She reached up to feel his forehead. "Did I just hear you say give into it? This from the guy who never gives in to anything."

He grinned, nudging her, "Not talkin' about me, Abbs."

"Okay," she nodded, smiling at him. "I'll see if I can get some sleep this afternoon. If I don't, I'm likely to fall asleep head first into Ziva's dinner tonight, and her cooking is way too good to waste like that."

"Yeah," he gave a low chuckle. "She might notice when you start snoring."

She elbowed him, laughing, "I do not snore."

"How d'ya know?" he teased. "I'd better get back. I'll make us a sandwich before I go."

"Before Tony sends out a search party to find you, you mean?"

"I'll slap him into next week if he does," he replied, smiling.

Abby looked suddenly uncertain and looked away. "I just wish I…" she said before trailing off.

He tilted her chin up so he could see her eyes, "What?"

"I just feel like I'm nothing but a burden."

"Oh, Abbs." Gibbs turned and cupped her face in his hands, wanting to remove this uncertainty, this constant doubting herself and what she meant to him. "I love you. You'd never be a burden."

He watched a slow, delighted smile spread across her face and her hand came up to caress his face tenderly. "That's… that's the first time you've said it. I mean, you've signed it to me before, and you've shown me in so many ways just how much you love me already, and you know you don't need to say it, right? I don't need grand declarations to know how you feel…"

"Abbs." He grinned before kissing her to stop the flow of words.

"I'm babbling again, aren't I?" she grinned against his mouth.

"Uh-huh." He wouldn't have her any other way. "Wouldn't say it if I didn't want to."

"I know," she took his hand, entwining their fingers, "and I want you to love me coz I'm me… not this needy, clingy woman who can't seem to do anything for herself at the moment. You know how independent I am."

"I know," he nodded, pulling her close against him, tucking her into his shoulder, "but accepting help isn't a sign of weakness."

"Is that another new rule?" She smiled at him with a teasing glint in her eye, "Or is that a sub-rule of rule 6… sort of 6B?"

He laughed, "Maybe it's another unwritten one."

_TBC_

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><p>AN: Dinner with Ziva next… nearly there, 3 more chapters I think!


	35. Chapter 35: Support

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: This chapter is for my friend, Zivacentric who always helps me find Ziva's voice. *haggles*

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><p><strong>Chapter 35 - Support<strong>

Balancing the box containing dessert, Abby climbed the stairs to Ziva's apartment and pressed the doorbell. After a quick sandwich and coffee with Gibbs, she'd slept well this afternoon. Several hours of solid sleep with no nightmares had left her feeling much better than earlier.

Gibbs hadn't arrived home by the time she'd left his house, but she'd heard from Ziva that their dinner was still on, as the team hadn't caught a case. The door soon opened to reveal a smiling Ziva, who beckoned her inside. As Ziva closed the door, she accepted Abby's one armed hug, while trying to peer into the package in Abby's arms, suspecting what it might contain. Taking Abby's backpack and coat, Ziva ushered her into the kitchen.

"Something smells good, Ziva," Abby told her, placing the box on the table.

"I remembered how much you enjoyed this dish last time, Abby, so I began cooking it yesterday." Ziva had made cholent, a traditional Jewish stew which had proven such a hit the first time she'd invited the team over for dinner, but had chosen chicken instead of beef in case Abby's stomach wasn't fully recovered.

Abby leaned over the stove, sniffing appreciatively, "I love this, Ziva, you're spoiling me."

"I think you are spoiling me too, Abby, if I recognize this box. Dessert I hope," asked Ziva, lips curving and dark eyes twinkling. Both women took their desserts very seriously.

"Totally. You're gonna love this, Ziva. Last time I had it, it was positively orgasmic."

Ziva snorted with amusement at Abby's description. "What is it?"

"It's called Devil's Food… look." Abby opened the box almost reverently to reveal a chocolate sponge and vanilla butter cream layered dessert that looked to contain about a million calories. Knowing Ziva's love of all things chocolate, not to mention her own liking for it, Abby thought it would be a delicious choice for dessert.

The wide smile which graced Ziva's lovely face told her she'd chosen well. "Wow, Abby. I am tempted to skip the main course entirely and just serve this."

"Oh no, you don't. I need feeding up. I'm starving."

Ziva laughed, holding her hands up in mock surrender, "Okay, okay. Dinner is nearly ready. Sit down and have some wine. We can talk while I finish."

"Just a little, I've got to drive back later." Abby poured for them both and sat down to watch Ziva as she moved round the kitchen with her usual graceful economy of movement.

Ziva glanced over at Abby periodically as she worked. "You look less pale than this morning, Abby. I was worried."

"No need to worry about me, Ziva. I do feel better after I went to bed this afternoon." At Ziva's teasing look, Abby laughed and wagged a finger. "No, Ziva, I went to bed to sleep… alone. Get your mind out of the gutter."

"I never said a word, Abby," Ziva shook her head, chuckling.

"No, but your eyebrows were very talkative."

Ziva snorted with laughter. "Well, I had better serve dinner then before they get me into any more trouble." Ziva sobered as she looked at Abby more closely. "You do look less tired and strained than you did last Friday."

"I just wish it was a steady improvement, Ziva, and in one direction… upwards. I seem to go up and down like a yo-yo. Yesterday I felt great and today… well, not so good earlier, as you know."

"Remember it has only been a week since you were rescued," Ziva pointed out, not unkindly.

"Yeah, I know," Abby nodded. It was a week ago today that she'd started the day in the hands of the Phantom fearing for her life and ended it sharing a bed with Gibbs facing a wonderful future… she couldn't remember a day that had been more of a contrast.

"Although your impatience is understandable," continued Ziva, evenly. "I would be the same."

"I know it'll take time, Ziva," Abby sounded frustrated. "I'm just not used to feeling like this."

"You are a strong woman, Abby. You will be fine… in time," Ziva told her with a reassuring smile. She dished up two steaming plates of food from the slow cooker and pulled bread from the oven which she'd had warming, and they both tucked in hungrily as they talked. "Although if my guess is correct, I think Gibbs may be at least partly responsible for the improvement in your health since last week."

Abby smiled, shyly. "I'd say he's _totally_ responsible for it. I'm not sure I could have coped without him… without his strength… without him looking after me, as well as how things have changed between us. I'm assuming you've guessed about us? Everybody else seems to have, without us saying anything."

"Yes, Abby and I am happy for you." Ziva reached over to squeeze Abby's hand, smiling broadly. "This is the one positive thing to come out of what happened in LA. Gibbs has certainly seemed much more relaxed this week… more content."

"He makes me so very happy, Ziva," Abby told her, vivid green eyes shining and a bright smile lighting up her face. "We've been friends for so long and I'd given up hope he felt the same way I did."

"I was worried about him on the plane last week… the strain he was under," Ziva revealed, softly. "He hides it well, but I have learnt over the past few years that the less emotion Gibbs shows, the more he is actually feeling."

"I know," nodded Abby, with a rueful smile. "It's a trait he shares with you, Ziva. You've both mastered the art of being 'fine' even when everyone knows you're not."

"It is part of our training, Abby," explained Ziva.

"It's something I've often envied about you both," said Abby.

"No, Abby," Ziva shook her head, frowning. "It is not something to envy. Your way is far healthier in the longer term." Ziva paused before continuing thoughtfully, "Our training helps us to cope with the initial crisis but… it is perhaps not healthy to suppress things too much."

"Yeah, who comforts him and you while you're both comforting everyone else," asked Abby, quirking an eyebrow.

"For Gibbs, you do now, Abby, if he will let you close enough." Ziva smiled at her friend, fondly as she cleared their plates off the table. "Gibbs is a remarkable man… a natural leader. He manages to be both demanding and protective at the same time and even after several years, I am not entirely sure how he achieves that balance. I think that is partly why everyone is drawn to him."

"I've seen a lot of agents come and go over the years and he inspires fierce loyalty in all of them," said Abby, softly. "He's always been very protective… not just of me but everyone on his team. But with me he's just a… big, soft teddy bear."

Ziva chuckled, shaking her head, "Abby, that is not an image I want in my head when I sit at the next desk. I would have said more of a grizzled… " Ziva cocked her head to one side as she corrected herself, smiling, "no, not grizzled… grizzly bear."

"Oh, I dunno," laughed Abby. "Grizzled works just fine… especially with that silver hair."

Ziva joined in the laughter, pleased to see Abby looking more relaxed. She cut into the delicious dessert Abby had brought, serving a sizeable slice each of the chocolate and vanilla butter cream confection. Apart from appreciative moans, silence reigned for a few minutes as they savored the treat.

"How was Tim today?" Abby asked, after they'd both emptied their plates.

Ziva thought for a moment. "Subdued. But he will be alright I think. Tony has even been kinder to him this week than usual."

"Tony's a good guy, however much he tries to hide it," smiled Abby, fondly.

Ziva acknowledged the truth in that with a tilt of her head before pointing out, "But it is more important that you think of yourself, Abby." Abby's kind heart always meant that she thought of everyone else first and herself second. "Concentrate on healing. Is Dr. Hunter allowing you back to work?"

"Yup, she's recommending to Leon that I can come back Monday which is terrific, although Leon has the final say so I hope it's not a false hope," replied Abby, shrugging. "I can't wait to get back to my lab. I've got to attend at least two more sessions though, which is not what I wanted to hear but to be expected I guess." Abby glanced at Ziva, hesitating before she asked, "Did you find them helpful?"

Ziva paused briefly. "Partially."

Abby saw a shadow pass across Ziva's face as she gazed off into the distance. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

"It is alright, Abby," Ziva smiled at her reassuringly, rising to make them both coffee.

"How did you cope, Ziva…" asked Abby, softly. "How _do_ you cope?"

"By not allowing it to take control of my life. Loss of control throughout was the worst aspect of all of it." Ziva didn't often refer to either her ordeal in Somalia or the aftermath and her struggle to heal physically, as well as mentally and emotionally. As always, she presented a calm front to the world that Abby suspected told only a fraction of the story.

Ziva gestured Abby through to the living room where she curled up in an armchair, Abby preferring to settle on the rug in front of the fire, next to Ziva's chair, staring into the flames.

Abby carried on after a few moments' thought, "That's exactly it, Ziva." Understandably, Ziva had gone straight to the heart of what bothered Abby the most about her whole ordeal, something she'd kept quiet about to everyone else. "I hated it…" Abby bit her lip, frowning, her voice husky. "Hated not being in control, right from when he kidnapped me in that parking lot to waking up and finding I wasn't able to move a muscle… and then when he threatened to rape me, and finally when he tried to kill me. I wasn't in control of any of it…" her voice faltered and she trailed off.

"Strong independent woman like us do not like to be reminded that control has been taken away from us, Abby." Ziva leaned forward in her chair, arms on her knees as she listened to her friend open up.

Abby glanced up at Ziva, biting her lip. "For some bizarre reason it reminded me of Mikel Mawr. I know it's a different situation but it just felt the same somehow… this being out of control. Those months when Mikel was stalking me, when I didn't know each day what I'd find when I picked up the phone or went out to my car in the morning."

"That was something else you coped with alone, if I remember?" Ziva thought back to Gibbs' and Tony's reactions to Abby's ex-boyfriend-turned-stalker… the resulting testosterone storm from both of them was fairly impressive and intimidating. She'd thought at the time that she'd have to restrain both Gibbs and Tony from tearing Mawr into small pieces.

"Don't remind me," Abby shook her head, pigtails swinging. "I thought Gibbs was going to have a seizure when he found out about Mikel."

"And you kept quiet before to protect Gibbs I assume?" murmured Ziva, thoughtfully, eyeing her friend.

"Yeah… all of you really. How d'ya guess?" Abby asked her, smiling ruefully at Ziva's perception. "I knew if Gibbs found out, he'd most likely do something which could only lead to trouble. Mikel has a way of goading people and Gibbs' temper is always on a short fuse."

"Especially when it comes to you, yes," replied Ziva, sipping her coffee. "But I see your point. In 'dealing' with Mawr, Gibbs may well have been the one arrested for assault."

"Yeah, Ziva," nodded Abby. "And I couldn't let that happen."

"You are as protective of Gibbs as he is of you," Ziva observed, smiling down at her.

"I'd do anything for him, Ziva," came Abby's soft reply. She was silent for a few minutes before continuing, quietly. "D'ya know what I hate the most about this, Ziva? That the Phantom still has such a hold over my life even now… even though he's dead."

Her voice cracked and Ziva saw a tear slip down her friend's cheek. When Abby looked up, her lost expression made Ziva's heart ache and she slid off her chair to sit next to Abby. Ziva wrapped an arm around her, trying to offer what comfort she could as Abby cried quietly, stroking her hair gently as Abby leaned her head against her shoulder.

When the flow of tears eventually eased, Abby accepted the tissue Ziva gave her gratefully, wiping her eyes and shooting Ziva a sad smile. "Does that feeling ever fade?"

Ziva gave her shoulder a squeeze, resting her head against Abby's. "Yes, it does. I was as eager as you for that feeling to go away, but it does take time and I learnt the hard way that it cannot be rushed."

Abby sniffed, rubbing at her eyes, leaving her mascara smudged. "I guess I'm just too impatient."

They sat quietly together for a while, both enjoying the comfortable silence. They had taken a long time to become close friends when Ziva first arrived, and it wasn't entirely due to Ziva taking Kate's place on the team. They were both very strong women and their personalities clashed. However, now their bond of friendship was solid and Abby loved her friend dearly, and trusted Ziva's instincts as much as she trusted Gibbs' gut.

And Ziva remembered how much Abby had looked after her when she returned from Somalia. Both Abby and Ducky had offered unconditional care and kindness without any pressure in those first few weeks as her physical injuries began to heal

Ziva eventually broke the quiet with another question. "How are the nightmares now?"

"Huh, still too frequent," Abby shrugged, ruefully. "Guess I'm stuck with them as well for a while."

"They will fade but not for some time, I suspect, Abby, and they will ambush you when you least expect it… when something triggers a memory or a flashback." Ziva hugged Abby before rising gracefully to her feet. She collected their mugs and poured them both a refill of coffee, which Abby accepted with a slightly brighter smile.

"I'm sorry you had to see that footage, Ziva," she said after a while.

"I am not," Ziva threw her a sympathetic smile as she sat next to her on the rug again. "It was necessary and Gibbs needed support, even if he would never easily admit it." They exchanged rueful smiles. "And how do you feel now you've seen it?"

Abby paused to consider a moment, head on one side. "Relieved."

"I am guessing Ducky and Gibbs had trouble understanding why you would be relieved," suggested Ziva, seeing Abby's slight nod of agreement. "In the same way they found it difficult to accept that you needed to even see the footage in the first place. I told Gibbs that you were strong enough to see it and that you needed to see it, as I would have wanted to had our positions been reversed, Abby."

"Yeah, I'm just relieved coz it could have been worse… a lot worse," Abby drew her knees up, hugging them to her chest as she gazed intently into the fire.

"And you would be right." Ziva's warm voice was comforting. "I said as much to Gibbs when we saw the footage. I am not surprised both he and Ducky would think that way… any of _our_ over-protective males would do so." She saw Abby's small smile at her description. "As women, we see it differently."

"I remember what he threatened me with, Ziva. How did he phrase it? 'Buy another night of life,' and we all know what that meant. He was gonna rape me. Hardly a surprise given that he'd already jerked off over me when I was unconscious. I guess I was lucky he didn't do it then."

"My instinct is that he wanted you awake and not drugged," speculated Ziva, quietly.

"Yeah, I guessed as much," Ziva could see Abby's green eyes glittering with more unshed tears. She reached over to squeeze Abby's shoulder as her friend went on, softly, "awake and fighting him and yeah, I'd have fought the bastard, Ziva… not that it would have done me much good."

"We are back to loss of control again," commented Ziva, and Abby glanced at her in agreement. "But you distracted him, goaded him. I saw the moment when you started to fight back, Abby… as immobile as you were in that chair. I was so proud of you when you did that, and scared for you at the same time. One of the hardest things is to watch a friend in danger from so far away and not be able to do anything to help."

"Didn't feel very brave, Ziva. I was just so scared." Abby rested her head on her arms and Ziva scooted closer wrapping an arm around her in a hug, rocking Abby gently as the tears overwhelmed her again.

After a while, the tears subsided and when Abby raised her head, her eyes red-rimmed, she smiled softly, "Thanks, Ziva."

Ziva cupped her face, telling her earnestly, "We _will_ get you through this, Abby."

"I know," acknowledged Abby, quietly. "You have no idea how much it means to me that everyone's got my back. Makes me feel safe." She paused. "I've been thinking, Ziva. Would you help me with some self defense lessons? I already asked Gibbs and he thought it was a good idea."

"Of course," agreed Ziva, smiling. "It will be fun to schedule some training. I will volunteer Tony to be a hamster."

Abby's throaty chuckle was a welcome sound. "Guinea pig."

"Are you sure?" asked Ziva, with a teasing glint in her eye which caused Abby to laugh even more. Ziva went on, "Have you been out yet with friends or to a club?"

"Not yet." Abby threw her a rueful glance. "You picked up on that too, huh?"

"It is an obvious parallel and I know how much you enjoy clubbing, Abby. If you need some company one evening…?" offered Ziva, smiling.

"That'd be great, Ziva, when I feel like it again… maybe next week? I know that'll be like getting back on the horse again and I need to…" She glanced at Ziva with an apologetic smile. "I just need to gather my courage, y'know? I was thinking of asking Tony too… he'd make a pretty cool bodyguard. In fact, with an ex-Mossad assassin and an over-protective NCIS agent on my six, I'd be invincible."

Ziva laughed and went along with Abby's attempt to lighten the atmosphere, her friend's face was showing the strain of talking through events. "You would. I am sure Tony would enjoy that. He has missed you this week."

"I've missed him too… missed all of you." Abby reached for Ziva's hand, and they sat in silence sipping coffee for a while longer before Abby glanced at her watch, seeing how late it was. "I'd better get going."

When they stood, Abby threw her arms round Ziva, almost engulfing the smaller woman in a bone crushing hug. "Thank you, Ziva. I don't know what I'd do without you… without all of you."

"We are family. What else would we do?" replied Ziva, simply before escorting Abby to her front door. "You know you are welcome to sleep on the couch, Abby, to save you the drive if you wish?"

"Thank you but…" Abby trailed off.

Ziva held up her hand before she could go on, a mischievous glint in her eye. "But I appreciate that your current sleeping arrangements are a more attractive prospect than the offer of my small couch." The contagious grin that broke out in response to her words was pure Abby.

"Oh, you have no idea, Ziva."

* * *

><p>The house was dark and quiet when Abby returned. Although it was after midnight, Gibbs was usually as much of a night owl as she was and she was surprised not to find him still downstairs or in the basement. Feeling too tired tonight to stay up any longer herself anyway, Abby made her way swiftly upstairs.<p>

She paused in the doorway to the bedroom. There was enough light from the streetlights and moonlight filtering through the gap in the curtains to make out a Gibbs sized lump in the bed. Abby assumed he was asleep as he didn't stir from where he lay half on her side of the bed.

_Her side?_

How easy it was to think of this house… this room… this bed as hers now… and to admit to herself how much she felt at home here.

She had to get out of that habit, even if the man who lived here was hers… which should be more than enough… heck, _was_ more than enough compared to how lonely she had been barely more than a week ago.

The heat would be back on in her apartment by Monday and so she'd be going back there. As independent as she was, it wasn't the first time this week that she'd thought of not wanting to return to her apartment… of wishing she could stay here.

Abby shook herself, sighing almost wistfully. She had to stop thinking like that, lest she spoil this fledgling relationship they had. Gibbs wouldn't want her underfoot all the time for much longer. He valued his time alone and his privacy too much to suddenly have someone living in the same house every day… at least not this soon in their relationship, she thought.

Undressing and going through her nightly routine in the bathroom, she quickly removed her make-up and tried to wash away the evidence of her tears before dressing in her silky PJs with the camisole top. Approaching the bed quietly, she tried to slip into it without disturbing him, but warm hands reached for her as she soon as she settled under the covers.

"Hey, sorry, didn't wanna wake you," she rolled towards him, snuggling closer to his warmth gratefully, registering vaguely that he was still in his boxers. He kissed her hello, hands tangling in her hair, a slow, enticing kiss and she lost herself willingly in the taste and feel of him.

"Wasn't asleep," Gibbs murmured when the kiss ended, low voice sounding husky in her ear.

He'd not been in bed that long after spending the evening in the basement finishing off more toys for the children's hospital, enjoying his alone time. Once in bed, however, he'd found it difficult to get comfortable, and sleep just wouldn't come. The bed just suddenly seemed too large and empty.

For the past week, he'd fallen asleep wrapped around Abby's soft warmth and found himself missing it tonight. He'd tossed and turned for the past half hour and had almost decided to get up again when he heard Abby's car returning.

"Why didn't you say so when I came in?" He'd been doing his usual stealthy sniper impersonation even in bed.

Her curious question brought him out of his musings. "You looked like you had a lot on your mind." He'd nearly called out a greeting when she first appeared in the doorway but when she paused and just stared in his direction, seemingly lost in thought for several minutes, he'd held his tongue, wondering what was on her mind. "You okay?"

"Mmm, just pleased to be ho-… back," she corrected herself, hoping he hadn't noticed her slip. She didn't want to go through everything she'd discussed with Ziva, not quite yet, not even with Gibbs. She needed time to absorb it herself and in any case, it was late enough and they both needed sleep.

"You're cold." He tugged her as close as possible, wrapping himself around her.

"It's cold out and you're warm as toast." He always was and she relished the feeling of his warmth soaking into her, as much as the strong arms holding her.

"It's gotta be in a woman's genes that she has cold feet," he mumbled, rubbing his hands over her back, smiling as Abby was all but purring like a contented cat, nuzzling into his neck.

She chuckled, "That's why men were invented, to warm us up." She brushed her lips against his warm skin, smelling his familiar scent overlaid with soap from his obviously recent shower.

_God, he smelled so good._

"How'd it go?" he asked, quietly. He didn't want to push her so hard that she clammed up, but he wanted to at least know if she felt better for seeing Ziva. He'd save questioning her further until the morning. He could usually read Abby fairly well, but needed to see her face in order to do so.

"It was exactly what I needed. Ziva was just great. She listened to me, she understood what was worrying me the most, and held me when I cried." She felt his arms tighten around her at her words. "She's incredible the way she's coped and it felt really good to talk to her about it."

"She okay?" he asked, quietly.

"She says so but she's just as good at hiding things as you are, so I hope so," Abby told him, softly. "I'd never forgive myself if this stirs up too many bad memories for her."

"Lotta things must remind her, Abbs," he pointed out, threading his fingers through her hair, the familiar tender caress soothing them both. "She wouldn't have offered if she didn't want to help."

"I'll tell you more tomorrow," Abby smothered a yawn with difficulty. Now she was back in a comfy bed, snuggled up against a warm Gibbs, she could feel her tiredness flooding back and she just wanted to sleep. "Right now, I'm just tired… again."

"Then sleep. It's been a helluva day." He drew circles over her back and tucked her head into his shoulder, shifting slightly to get a more comfortable position.

"You need sleep too." She pressed a kiss to his chest, carding her fingers through the sparse grey hair there, feeling the calming thud of his heartbeat.

"Couldn't sleep earlier. Can now." She felt him nuzzle against her hair and squeezed him tight, moved at his revealing words. "We can talk when you feel like it… no rush, remember?"

He tilted her chin up to kiss her softly. Abby rested her head on his chest and her breathing evened out as she soon drifted off to sleep, wrapped up safe in his arms. It wasn't long before he followed her, able to relax now that she was back… home.

* * *

><p><em>TBC<em>

A/N: Two more chapters… nearly there.


	36. Chapter 36: Need

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: Penultimate chapter of this marathon… honest! This chapter is for bbfan who wanted Gibbs and Abby to christen the bathtub… I'm just surrounded by demanding smut hounds, it's no wonder this story has gone on for so long!

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><p><strong>Chapter 36 - Need<strong>

It was late the next day when Gibbs returned home and from the darkened downstairs, it looked like Abby had already gone to bed. He'd left the house early this morning when the team had caught a case and had only spoken to her briefly this evening to say he wouldn't be home yet.

When his cell had gone off first thing, they'd been cuddled together, already awake after Abby's sleep had been disturbed by yet another nightmare, talking quietly about her dinner with Ziva. Neither were surprised at the resurgence of Abby's nightmares, given how tough the previous day had been. When he'd fallen asleep last night, he'd been half expecting it. So when she'd jerked awake, he'd pulled her close, soothing her as she clutched at him, heart rate slowly calming.

So when the call had come through for a case, he'd left her side reluctantly but knew he had to go.

And now it was the end of a very long, tough day.

Although it had been a fairly open and shut investigation and the killer was now in custody, it was a brutal, heartbreaking case so Gibbs was very glad to be home. His usual routine for coping on such a day would be to disappear to his basement, drinking to forget.

Shedding his coat, he headed that way but hesitated as he reached the stairs. For the first time in a long while, the thought of his basement wasn't as comforting as it should be… not when compared with wanting to go upstairs and wrap himself around Abby, just to hold her.

Abby knew more than anyone, more than any woman he'd been involved with just how tough his job was, because she went through the rough times right along with him. She understood just how much cases like this affected him and how much he needed to find a way to somehow release his anger and stress.

She was amazingly perceptive when it came to his moods and probably knew him better than anyone. She knew when he needed company… and when he needed solitude and silence. It was one of the things he loved about her. She'd always been the one bright light able to penetrate the darkness that seemed to surround him.

In the past, she'd managed to find a way of helping him even before their relationship changed. After spending hours in the basement, arms sore and aching, he'd come upstairs in search of food to soak up all the bourbon coursing through him, only to find that Abby had dropped off food at some point during the evening. Or she'd descend the basement stairs to deliver coffee or a sandwich.

At first he'd practically snarled at her that he didn't want company and she'd snapped right back at him, telling him she wasn't offering company, just delivering food and caffeine.

And that's what she did regularly… without demands or expectations, and she was never intimidated by his temper or when he shut her out.

Sometimes he'd hear her footsteps above his head but she wouldn't come down to the basement. Later, he'd find either a sandwich in the fridge, or a meal ready to be heated up, with a fresh pot of coffee brewing.

As their friendship had grown stronger, she'd sometimes stay, sitting on his couch while he worked in the basement, joining him for a meal later. When a nightmarish case affected Abby as much as it did him, she would sometimes venture downstairs to join him in his sanctuary. She'd sit quietly reading on the stairs, just keeping him company, or help him sand the boat, both enjoying the companionable silence. Or they'd end up sitting side by side leaning against his boat, drinking into the early hours.

Now they were together, Gibbs knew her perception and understanding of him was only likely to increase. And the thought of having her there to help ease his pain and anger comforted and calmed him more than he could say.

So for once he turned his back on his basement and made his way upstairs. He found the bedroom empty but a warm glow emanated from the bathroom. Pushing open the door, he felt something ease minutely inside him as he absorbed the sight before him.

Lit candles were scattered about the room and Abby's dark head could be seen above a bathful of foam bubbles. His eyes followed the bubbles sliding over her creamy shoulders down to the enticing swell of her breasts at the waterline. Mesmerized, he watched the path of water droplets running down her skin, itching to follow each one with his tongue. Her raven hair was piled on top of her head, damp tendrils clinging to her cheeks and neck. Her eyes were closed, her features relaxed and peaceful.

As she registered the door opening, Abby turned her head, her emerald eyes opening and greeted him with a smile.

"Hey, that's good timing, I've only just got in so the water's still hot. C'mere," she reached out her hand. Something in his face must have alerted her that something was wrong because she stilled and asked, gently, "A bad one?"

"Yeah, pretty bad." He pushed off from the doorframe and approached the bath, squatting at the side, taking her hand and pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

"Then go downstairs…" Abby urged, quietly, cupping his face with her hand. "You need your basement."

"Need you more." He turned to nuzzle her palm.

She stroked his face, searching his blue eyes, seeing the pain and stress in every line, the tension radiating off him. "Then get in here and let me help." Today it was him that needed comfort… a reversal of yesterday. She relished being able to help him, given all the love and support he'd given her this past week.

Abby watched as Gibbs undressed, enjoying the strong lines of his body as he shed his clothes, seeing the tension in the rigid way he held himself. His face looked drawn and tired.

He stepped into the bath, settling in between Abby's legs. Resting his arms on his bent knees, he leaned his head forward and let out a sigh as he soaked up the warmth of the hot water, trying to will his muscles to relax.

She soaped up a wash cloth and ran it gently over the broad expanse of his back and strong shoulders, enjoying the feel of his still supple skin covering toned muscles. Rinsing off the suds, she replaced the cloth with her hands, stroking her way along his back.

Pressing a quick kiss to his spine, she began massaging his shoulders, gradually kneading each muscle. Loving the warmth of his skin under her hands, she alternated between rubbing each muscle band firmly and gentle sweeping strokes designed to soothe. She paused at every blemish and scar, pressing a soft kiss to each one. One of the bullet exit wounds she knew… Ari… but other marks, from both bullet and knife, she hadn't yet asked him about.

His head came up as she worked her way across his neck and shoulders, and up and down the long muscles in his back. He moaned and arched into her touch as she patiently loosened each knot, following each caress with a feather light brush of her lips. The heat from the water and the soothing feel of her slender hands combined to gradually melt away some of the tension.

After a while, he began to talk, quietly. "Petty Officer came home early, found his wife in bed with another man. Shot her and the lover… left a six year old girl… who's now lost both parents."

Her hands stilled, realizing immediately what had made this case such a bastard. She pressed a kiss to his shoulder and rested her cheek against his back, attempting to offer comfort with her presence, wishing she could take all his pain away.

"Is there any other family she can go to?" she asked after a while.

Gibbs sighed, "Yeah, an aunt… says she'll take her."

She resumed her soft stroking of his skin. "That's something I guess and better that than child services, but yeah… it's not the same I know."

"Don't know how he could throw away his daughter like that." His voice was thick with emotion. A family devastated by one selfish act and even though the Petty Officer regretted it now that his rage had dissipated, it was too late.

Abby didn't reply, just kept up the soothing strokes, knowing that whatever she said wouldn't make any difference to how he felt. She was just pleased he'd chosen to come to her instead of retreating to his basement.

He lost himself in the feeling of her hands and lips on his skin. As her touch gentled, he felt her fingers almost ghost lightly across his back.

When she'd finished, Abby urged him to settle back against her, folding her arms around him. She let her gaze drift along the line of his hard body, strong arms, the water glistening on his chest hair and his long lean legs tangling with her paler ones. As she cradled him, she could feel Gibbs gradually relax in her arms. His eyes closed and the strain on his face slowly eased.

He eventually broke the comfortable silence. "Hope your day was better."

He shifted slightly so he could rest his head against her shoulder, trying not to lean too much of his weight onto her. He held Abby's hands where they were loosely clasped across his chest and enjoyed the feel of her softness and warmth against his back.

"Just an ordinary day…" As the low husky voice he loved so much rolled into his ears describing how she'd spent her day, he felt some his anger ease and the tension in his stomach begin to uncoil.

She nuzzled the side of his face, content to hold him for however long he needed.

"Did ya go back to sleep this morning?" he asked, softly.

"Nope, didn't bother," Abby answered, pressing a kiss to his temple. She didn't reveal that she hadn't even tried to sleep, lest another nightmare surface. "But I slept again this afternoon. Gotta get out of the habit of this afternoon nap thing though, don't think the boss-man will let me get away with it at work."

He smiled briefly, leaning his head against hers, "How d'ya feel… after yesterday?"

"Lighter somehow," she murmured, "more settled… I think all of it helped, even the psych eval… now I can think back on it more objectively but Ziva and you helped most of all. But tonight's about you."

When he shook his head and looked about to speak, she hushed him, tightening her arms round him, whispering, "Yes, it is."

He turned his head to press a soft kiss on her lips and settled back against her again, and they lay quietly together for some time, the water starting to cool. Eventually, he lifted her hands and placed a gentle kiss on each palm, murmuring, "Thank you." He'd no idea how he'd come to deserve such care and love but he'd never take it for granted.

"Whatever you want… whatever you need, I'm here." She slid her hands across his chest, threading her fingers through the sparse grey hair and stroking the skin over his stomach, feeling the muscles ripple under her touch.

Running a hand down her leg, he turned his head to nuzzle her, his voice a low rough whisper which made her shiver, "Want you."

She caught her breath at the sudden intensity in his piercing blue eyes, before murmuring, "Then take me."

He twisted slightly to capture her mouth in a slow, languid kiss. She cupped his face and returned his kiss, letting him deepen it till he was exploring her mouth teasingly. He slid his arms round her and she felt them slip slightly in the bath, the water sloshing suddenly against the sides.

Breaking the kiss, he rested his forehead against hers, breathing heavily, "Can't reach you back there… get round here."

She giggled a warning, "We're gonna flood the bathroom, y'know." With a bit of wriggling and moving carefully, she slid over him until she was lying full length against him.

Stretching out, she enjoyed the feel of his skin and let her hands wander, feeling his arousal swell and harden beneath her. She reached up to kiss him hungrily, trailing a hand between them to slowly caress him. He buried his hands in her hair, holding her head steady as he plundered her mouth.

Her thumb rolled over his swollen tip, causing his cock to jerk in her hand. His hands wandered over her back, cupping her ass and pulling her against him. Sliding his fingers between her legs, he teased and stroked her until she was rocking her hips in time to his caresses, moaning into his neck.

Positioning herself over him, Abby sank down, slowly taking him inside. He watched captivated as she arched her head and neck back, biting her lip as her eyes fluttered closed at the feel of him.

They both moaned at the sensation when he was fully seated inside her. Gripping his shoulders, she rocked against him achingly slowly. His mouth and hands caressed and kissed her wherever he could reach. He helped her balance as she moved, taking him deeper in slow, steady strokes that gradually drove them crazy… both too far gone to notice some of the water lapping close to the edge of the bath.

He felt her stiffen against him and she cried out, burying her face against his neck, as the sensations overwhelmed her. Feeling her internal muscles ripple around him, he pulled her tightly against him, letting her orgasm push him over the edge and he came with a deep growl into her neck.

She slid her arms round his neck, resting her forehead against his as they came down from their high, exchanging lazy kisses. Caressing her back as aftershocks skittered through her, he slipped gently from her body.

Belatedly realizing the water was too cool now to linger, they helped each other dry off and made their way to bed. As soon as they were under the covers, he spooned behind her. Pulling her back against his chest, he wrapped arms and legs possessively around her body, face buried in her hair. She squeezed his hands where they lay over her stomach, loving the feel of him all around her.

He still felt emotionally raw but clung to her as if she was his lifeline… which in a way she was.

_TBC_

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><p>AN: Last chapter next… finally… of what has turned into a long distance marathon! Thanks for sticking with it.


	37. Chapter 37: Commitments

**DISTANCE NIGHTMARE**

A/N: Okay… final chapter! Thank you all so much for all the reviews, alerts and support for what turned into a marathon of a story. Thanks for Machelo for giving me an idea about Bert in this chapter! And Bamacrush and bbfan might recognize a familiar pose in here somewhere! *grin*

And can someone thump me on the back please? There's so much fluff flying around in this chapter that I think I've given myself a furball. *cough, cough*

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><p><strong>Chapter 37 - Commitments<strong>

The next day at NCIS was thankfully quieter.

His team had also been subdued as they dealt with their own thoughts on the tough case that had occupied all their attention the day before. They'd all experienced more horrific cases, seen equally heartbreaking tragedies, and worked other prolonged and exhausting investigations, but all of them had found it hard to shake the memory of that lost little girl and the futility of her mother's murder.

Gibbs was able to leave for home at a reasonable time, relieved for once to put the working week behind him. He had Abby's present in his pocket and couldn't help a flutter of nerves over what her reaction might be.

At least last night Abby had been free of nightmares.

This week they'd developed a habit of waking completely tangled up in one another and sometime in the night Abby usually ended up using him as a pillow. So drifting awake, slowly becoming aware of her silky hair tickling his arms, a dark tousled head nuzzling his chest and a sleepy pair of green eyes blinking up at him he'd decided was a terrific way to start the day… every day if he could.

Dumping his coat in the hallway, he could hear Abby in the kitchen and the house was filled with the delicious aroma of cooking. As he wandered into the kitchen, Abby was standing at the stove, hair loose on her shoulders, swaying to the music on her iPod… thing.

Abby squealed and jumped as he slid his arms round her waist and buried his face in her hair, breathing in the familiar scent of her shampoo. She laughed and swatted at him, before relaxing back in his arms, removing her earplugs, "I'm so gonna get you a bell." She glanced up at him. "Was it a better day?" she asked, softly.

"Yeah, easier."

That little girl would haunt him for a while, but he'd get past it in the way he usually did, and with Abby's help. He'd ended the evening feeling much calmer than he would have on his own. Last night showed him yet again how much he needed her.

She squeezed his hands where they rested on her waist, "If you need your basement tonight, I shan't mind, y'know."

She was still touched that he'd come to her last night instead of retreating to his sanctuary. He rarely showed any vulnerability in front of anyone and it illustrated just how much he trusted her that he was willing to let her in that much.

"I know. We'll see." He didn't think he'd need to yet and besides, he had other things on his mind for tonight. He kissed his way across her cheek to nibble her earlobe, grinning as she shivered. "Something smells good… and the food too."

She snorted, "Oh, smooth, Jethro, very smooth."

"I thought so," he murmured, lips wandering over her neck and she angled her head to give him better access.

Putting the spoon down, Abby gave up trying to concentrate on cooking for the moment, he was just too distracting. "You've been practicing that line all the way home, haven't you?"

"Yup. Did it work?" He smiled against her neck.

She reached up to run her hand through his hair, enjoying the silky feel to it, "Thinking about it, my silver-haired fox."

"Could get used to this," he told her, quietly, after a few moments.

"You mean me cooking you dinner," she teased, laughing. "You're not thinking of tying me to the kitchen, are you?"

His low chuckle against her neck caused her nerve endings to zing. "The kitchen's not the place I'm thinking of tying you to."

She giggled, loving this playful side of him the more she saw it. "Sounds fun. You do realize there's still some massage oil left."

"Hadn't forgotten." His hands wandered across her stomach, moving slowly upwards to brush the underside of her breasts, feeling her arch back against him, her low moan going straight to his groin. "Don't plan on us getting out of bed till Sunday morning."

"_Really?_ I like the way you think._" _She turned in his arms, pulling his head down in a heated kiss that left them both breathless.

It would be their second weekend together and the first one where hopefully Abby felt better, both physically and mentally. She'd tackled a lot of hurdles this week, although he didn't kid himself that she was out of the woods yet. But as a respite from everything, he was planning to spoil her this weekend, and if this evening went to plan, they'd have a lot of celebrating to do.

"You coming with me to bowling practice on Sunday?" Abby enquired as she stood cradled against him, head resting on his shoulder.

He nodded, dropping a quick kiss on her nose, "Yup, be good to see the Sisters."

"And tell 'em about us?" she asked, hopefully.

His grin was reassuring, "That too. If they haven't already guessed like everyone else seems to have done."

He disappeared upstairs to change while Abby finished dinner and when Gibbs returned, she heard him in the living room lighting the fire. He pulled two beers from the fridge when he came back and popped the caps, handing her one as she served up two plates of steaming chilli.

They caught up on her news over dinner. Director Vance had called Abby to personally give her the news that he'd signed off on her returning to work on Monday.

Gibbs smiled and squeezed her hand, seeing the happiness on her face at the prospect of returning to her lab… to her babies. The temporary lab tech that had replaced Abby had finally stopped leaping into orbit whenever he strode into the lab, and even he had to admit she was competent enough. But no one worked as hard as Abby did, put in the same long hours or got results quite so quickly. He'd missed his daily visits.

Earlier, Abby had tried to call her mother to check on her plans for Christmas and to tell her about Gibbs, but Gloria was away with a friend for a few days.

Gibbs insisted on washing up and shooed her out of the kitchen. Abby curled up on the couch with coffee, looking forward to a relaxing evening. She laughed when she saw Bert sitting on the coffee table. Gibbs must have moved him when he got back as Bert had been on the window sill all week.

Reaching for him, Abby paused when a glint of something caught the light. Curious, she picked up her hippo and was startled to see dog tags hung round his neck on a gold chain.

She pulled the chain off to take a closer look, but there was only one possible owner of dog tags in this house. Heart racing, she saw Gibbs' name and recognized his military service number.

Watching Abby from the kitchen, Gibbs felt his mouth go dry as he tried to read her reaction.

While still trying to absorb what he meant by hanging his dog tags round Bert's neck, something else on the chain drew her eye… a ring. She held it up to the light to examine it.

_Oh… my… god._

A promise ring…

A gorgeous white gold ring encircled with black inlay, with a raised Celtic design also in white gold of three cornered knots running all the way round. She knew this design, had seen it before and wracked her brains to remember the meaning of the Celtic symbol. These knots were triskeles, denoting the body, mind and spirit of two people and when they were joined together like this

… _oh_…

… it meant two people joined in Serch Bythol, everlasting love.

Her hands shaking, Abby looked at the ring in amazement, turning it to reflect the light, seeing not only the beauty of the design but also the possible meaning behind it.

Did Gibbs know what this symbol meant when he bought it? Or was she reading too much into the gift of just a lovely ring?

Her barely audible whisper of "Oh, Jethro," reached him where he was standing hesitantly in the doorway. When she raised her gaze, Gibbs caught his breath at her green eyes shimmering with tears and the joy on her face.

When Abby caught sight of him, she launched herself from the couch. He met her halfway, staggering as she wound her arms and legs around him and he managed to tumble them down to the couch. She was laughing and crying at the same time as he held her tightly, burying his face in her neck.

"Abby."

She'd rarely heard her name said with such emotion.

Abby peppered his face with kisses and he grinned down at her, heart thudding with relief. Sliding his hands into her hair, Gibbs kissed her slowly, tenderly. She lost herself in the warmth and taste of him, the familiar weight of him as soothing as it was arousing.

When the kiss ended, she turned her attention to her present, unclasping the chain so she could remove the ring for a closer look. "It's beautiful."

"Is it okay?"

Glancing at him to see that half smile that she loved, overlaid with a measure of uncertainty and hope in his eyes, Abby sought to reassure him. "It's more than okay… it's completely, totally and utterly wonderful."

As she tilted it to the light again, she noticed something engraved on the inside.

Their initials… just a simple engraving on the back, which spoke volumes.

How could a guy who found words so difficult sometimes get things so right?

She knew there had to be a romantic side hidden somewhere. Gibbs had after all persuaded three women to marry him, and it couldn't solely be to do with how good he was in bed… or in the shower… or on a fireplace rug.

Tears of joy started to slip down her face. "Hey, wasn't supposed to make you cry, Abbs," he brushed his thumb tenderly across her cheek.

Laughing through her tears, she reached up to kiss him, "Happy tears, Jethro… positive tears." She held up the ring and queried, tentatively, "Do you know what these symbols mean?"

"Yeah," Gibbs nodded before giving a self-deprecating shrug. "The jeweler explained and it just seemed… right."

He'd gone to the jeweler's where he knew Abby bought a lot of her jewelry, and there'd been quite a few rings with different Celtic designs. When the guy explained the meaning of the different symbols, this one drew him straight away.

He just hoped it wasn't too much too soon for Abby.

He'd worried all week that he might be moving too fast. He knew how she felt about marriage, had often heard her say she never wanted to get married. And he didn't feel the need to get married again yet either. His three divorces had left scars that weren't likely to go away any time soon. But he wanted to show Abby how much he was committed to making a go of this relationship… committed to _her._

"Oh, it's more than right, it's just perfect," Abby whispered, eyes shining. He felt a pleasant jolt when she slid it onto the ring finger on her left hand. He'd wondered whether she'd play 'safe' and wear it on her right hand.

"Looks good," he murmured, pressing a kiss to her hair.

It was only slightly loose but they could get that fixed easily. "Almost a perfect fit too. How did you…?" Abby trailed off.

He tapped the ring finger on her right hand. "Measured this ring."

"Sneaky," she grinned at him, twining their fingers together.

They lay in contented silence for a while, before he told her quietly, "This is it for me, Abbs. Told you I'd try." He grasped her left hand and traced her new ring, "That's my promise to try."

Abby was so moved, she could barely speak and had to clear her throat before she could get her voice to work. "This is it for me too, Jethro. That's my promise too," she looked down at their joined hands, "I love you. Don't want anyone else."

He pulled her close as Abby leaned in to kiss him, pouring everything he felt into it, the kiss soon turning heated and possessive. When they broke for air, he tightened his arms around her, tucking her head into the crook of his neck.

She couldn't stop staring at her ring, unable to keep what Emily would no doubt describe as a goofy grin off her face. For his part, Gibbs felt a sense of calm and wellbeing that he hadn't felt in a long time.

There was just one more thing he wanted to ask her, but was going to save it for later, so as to not throw everything at her at once.

Eventually she turned her attention to the other part to his present, which she had a feeling would mean just as much. Picking up the elegant gold chain, she ran her fingers over his dog tags.

His voice was a low rumble in her ear, "Thought I'd get a nicer chain for the tags."

"It's lovely," she smiled. "And I can use it if I need to take the ring off... to protect it sometimes in the lab."

She moved to put the chain round her neck and Gibbs stopped her, hesitating, "You don't have to wear 'em, Abbs, if you don't want to. Just wanted you to have them."

"But I want to?" she revealed, softly, holding the tags to her chest. "I'll either wear them or carry them with me all the time." She'd always thought that a guy giving a girl his dog tags was the military equivalent of a promise ring, and there was no way she was going to be parted from them.

Abby slipped the chain over her head, and he touched the tags, a boyish grin breaking out. "Suits you."

"Although strictly speaking, you really gave your ring and dog tags to Bert," she pointed out with a teasing smile.

He snorted with amusement. "Nah... he turned me down." She dissolved into giggles and hugged him close as he laughed into her neck.

After a while, Gibbs took her hand, pressing a kiss over the new ring on her finger, neither finding the need for words. Their quiet contentment was eventually interrupted by the phone ringing. Cursing softly, Gibbs kissed her quickly and she slid off the couch, standing as he grabbed the handset. "Yeah, Gibbs… hey, dad."

Abby made to leave, gesturing that she'd be in the kitchen, signing _privacy_ to him_._

Gibbs shook his head, signing _stay_.

She grinned and stretched out on the couch resting her legs across his lap. Watching his face as he caught up with Jackson's news, she tried to piece together what was being said from the one-sided conversation.

When there must have been a gap in the flow of words from his father, Gibbs broke in, "Remember Abby, Jack?..." She saw him grin in response to whatever Jackson was saying. "Yeah, that's Abby… " Another pause followed before an indignant… "Dad!" was accompanied by an eye roll and what she could swear was a slight reddening to the tips of his ears.

"Was gonna ring ya soon… " He reached out to take her hand, shooting her another smile. "We're together…" Pause. "Yeah, together." Another pause and Gibbs took the phone away from his ear to give it an almost disbelieving look before saying, "What d'ya mean it's about time?"

Abby giggled as she watched Gibbs carry on the conversation, nodding and replying to whatever else Jackson was saying. "You comin' over this time?... Yeah, good… I'm sure Abby'd be pleased to see ya… Yeah, okay, we'll sort out the details later. Bye Jack."

He hung up and put his head against the back of the couch, laughing. "I'm beginning to think everybody knew before we did."

"He'd guessed already?" He shifted to crawl up the couch next to her, and she slid her arms round his broad back as he settled against her. "Was that the 'about time' comment?"

"Yeah, says I shoulda pulled my head outta my ass years ago." He brushed her hair off her face, before cupping her cheek and kissing her softly, "He's gotta point."

"Hey," Abby admonished him, poking him in the side. "I thought we agreed no regrets for time lost or what ifs, remember? I'm just relieved he's okay about us. I thought he might not approve." It was something that had worried her more than she cared to admit. She didn't want to damage Gibbs' renewed and still fragile relationship with his father.

"Told ya not to worry."

"Easier said than done," she admitted. "I mean I get on really well with Jackson. I know I've only seen him the once but since we came back from Stillwater last year, we've kept in touch, y'know, emailing and phoning regularly. But I'm not exactly obvious material for any father's son's partner… if you see what I mean?"

He smiled at her, shaking his head at her doubts. "He'll be fine, he's fond of ya."

"What else did he say?" she turned on her side and rested her hand on his chest. "Is he coming here?"

He nodded, "Yup, said he was gonna try to get over for Christmas."

"Hey, that's great," beamed Abby.

"If he comes," Gibbs shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Why wouldn't he?" she asked, concerned. She thought they were gradually improving their relationship and assumed Jackson would want to spend Christmas with his son again, even if Gibbs still found the festive season an especially difficult time.

"He didn't last year," he admitted. "Might this time though, so he can see you."

"Is that what caused the indignant 'dad!'" she asked, curious if he'd tell her.

"Nope," he grinned at her, running his fingers along her jawline, "that was his description of you… "

"Really?" she quirked her eyebrows.

"Said you were the one with the sparkling emerald eyes and a smile that lights up a room… " His grin widened, and she laughed at his next words, "and with more tattoos than a man could dream of."

They spent the evening lying on the couch wrapped up together, talking quietly about everything and nothing… from Jack's visit and Gloria, to the Sisters, the team and work. Abby couldn't stop touching and kissing him, addicted to everything about him.

* * *

><p>Later, Abby sat in bed reading, watching him get ready for bed. He prowled round the room with his usual lithe, powerful grace… and she couldn't help a smug thrill that he was all hers… every gorgeous inch.<p>

When Gibbs emerged from the bathroom, she decided that those boxers would definitely have to go. She smiled at him as he climbed into bed next to her. He propped himself up on the pillows, leaning his head on his hand and smiled at her, watching as she fiddled with her ring while she read.

"Hey, Marine," she greeted him. "I've nearly finished this chapter." Just a page to go… not that she'd be able to concentrate for long with that distraction next to her.

"S'okay, take your time. I'll just enjoy the view." The red satin nightie she was wearing tonight clung to her soft curves.

She ran her eyes appreciatively down the line of his hard body and back up to his face, propped on his hand, that familiar half smile in place

… _oh boy_.

"And my view would be immeasurably improved if you were to lose those boxers."

"Patience, Abbs." He ran his hand gently over the silk, planning on taking his time removing it. "Not seen this one before."

"That's coz I rarely get a chance to put anything on _after_ you've removed all my clothes," Abby commented, smiling.

"True," he acknowledged, lips twitching in amusement. "Though seeing this, obviously that was a tactical error."

When Gibbs didn't move but just lay there watching her, she glanced at him, seeing the blue eyes twinkling. "You trying to distract me?"

"Nope. If I was trying to distract ya, I'd do this." He leaned closer, kissing his way across her shoulder to the curve of her neck, raising goosebumps along the way, causing her to shiver.

"Yeah, you're right, that would be distracting," she gasped as he pulled back, looking insufferably pleased with himself.

"Or I'd do this instead." He hooked a hand round her neck and pulled into a toe curling kiss.

Abby moaned when the kiss ended, her voice husky. "Yeah, I'm _really _glad you're not gonna do that coz then I wouldn't be able to concentrate at all."

"Thought so. I'd better behave myself then," he grinned.

"That'll be the day." She laughed and stroked his face gently before looking slowly round the room, "Y'know, I'm gonna miss this… miss you."

He frowned. "What d'ya mean, Abbs?"

"Well, the heating will be back on again probably by Monday, so I can go back to my apartment. I won't be under your feet any more." She saw his face settle into that infuriatingly blank expression he used in interrogation and the one that she found hard to read.

Conscious she'd started babbling but she couldn't stop herself, worried what he was thinking. When he didn't speak, Abby went on, "I know you'll be glad to get the place back to yourself. And I'll definitely be out of your hair by the time Jackson arrives. I'd only be in the way coz you know you need time with your dad, you've both got a lot of catching up to do…"

Abby trailed off when Gibbs still didn't say anything, but she saw something spark in his eyes.

Now was as good a time to ask her as any.

Reaching for her hand, Gibbs twisted her ring before asking her quietly, "What if I don't want you to go, Abbs."

"Wh-… what do you mean?"

"Stay… " He saw a smile start to curve her lips and went on before his courage failed him. "Move in with me, Abbs."

He caught her as she flung herself at him. The kiss she bestowed on him was all the answer Gibbs needed.

THE END.

* * *

><p>AN: Phew! Biggest hugs of all to Bamacrush and Zivacentric for keeping me going and supporting me during this mad story. And thanks to AHJ for all her help with some chapters.

And if I ever talk about tagging an episode with a long story again, will you please all head slap me and lock me in a room with a year's supply of chocolate, coffee, Greek yoghurt and Marines, until I come to my senses?


End file.
